Written by Mike.
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright,
Kaufman and Crane.
Hi, I'm Mike. This is pretty much my first fanfic, so go easy on me. Since the 6th season is the last definite one, I thought I'd write the way I want the series to end. Uh, this script does some skipping around (and is pretty short when you get down to it). There are a few episodes highlighted--season premiere, both sweeps (November and February) and of course May. It's basically a prologue to the finale; like an hour-long recap.
VOICE: Last season on FRIENDS...
[clips from finale are shown...fade to new episode]
MONICA: Oh my God...Oh my God...Oh my God...[she looks toward the doors where the sound of vomit hitting the pavement is heard] Oh my God...
CHANDLER: Hi, Janice. [Monica realizes where she is] Ross and Rachel got married? There is something not right about this...it has to be a dream.
MONICA: I shoulda guessed...you'd only ask me to marry you in a dream. [pan to Chandler, giving her a dirty look]
PHEEBS: I can't believe they kicked us out of the casino, Joey. [a good looking woman walks by] Joey?
JOEY: [to woman] How YOU doin'? [Phoebe hits him]
PHEEBS: JOEY! How are we gonna get back up to our rooms? We're, like, stuck down here.
JOEY: Relax, Pheebs; we'll get back upstairs. I'm not sure how yet, but we'll do it.
[they turn around and see Ross and Rachel making out as they walk to the doors, Monica and Chandler following behind]
JOEY: And RACHEL?! Together?
RACHEL [stuttering]: Yessss...we awe mawwied. I wuv Ross. I am now...I am now...now I am...Mrs. Mrs. Mrs. Ross.
ROSS: And I love...I love...I love...what's your name again? [they both laugh as the other four look at each other. Ross and Rachel cause a scene going in, so Joey and Phoebe sneak in with them]
ScEnE: Chandler's room. M, C, J, and P are all talking about what happened.
CHANDLER: It won't last...they were smashed. After they left the chapel, the workers had to rinse the puke from the sidewalk.
PHOEBE: How would you know? Not like you and Monica got mar...ried. Oh GOD!
MONICA: No, Pheebs. We...uh...decided to wait a while to do it, but we know we're ready.
JOEY: Dude! That's soo cool.
CHANDLER: My little HarMonica...
MONICA: Don't ever call me that again.
ScEnE: M&R's apartment in New York. Ross and Rachel slept through the flight and don't remember anything about the marriage.
RACH: I had the weirdest dream...I dreamt that Ross and I got married in Vegas.
ROSS: That is soooo weird. I had the same dream.
CHANDLER: And did you throw rice at each other saying "Hello Mr. Rachel" and "Hello Mrs. Ross?" [look from Monica]
RACH AND ROSS: Yes. [they look at each other] What?
ROSS: We must have told him about the dream. [Monica goes to her bedroom and comes back with a paper]
MONICA: You must have some imagination...you dreamed up a marriage license and everything. [Ross and Rachel look at each other]
RACH: I gotta get outta here.
ROSS: Wait, Rach!!!
[the FRIENDS look at each other]
RACHEL: I forgot I HAD half this stuff, Mon. I had no idea that my wedding gown was still here. Too bad I didn't have to use it this time. [she and Monica pack some boxes]
MONICA: And I had no idea that you'd be moving out. You've been here like 5 years...I'm sad to see you go.
RACHEL: It's for the best...I think things will be better if I just go.
[apartment door opens]
ROSS: You about done packing, sweetie? [Rachel goes over to him]
RACHEL: Yeah...Mr. Geller.
ROSS: Whenever you're ready, Mrs. Geller. [Ross and Rachel kiss; Monica smiles, knowing that now NOTHING WILL EVER BE OUTTA PLACE!]
ScEnE: Central Perk; all of them but Phoebe are sitting around the usual table. Suddenly Phoebe comes in crying...hard.
ALL: What's wrong?
PHOEBE: You...You know how I...wanted to keep one of the...babies....God..?
PHEEBS: I get them all now.
ROSS: What are you talking about?
CHANDLER: Yeah, Pheebs. Nothing's that bad.
PHEEBS: Frank and Alice were killed.
P: They were in a car accident and they, in their will, said that I would be given custody. Oh my God...my brother is dead.
ScEnE: Doctor's office..Rachel is sitting on the bed.
DOCTOR: Well, Mrs. Geller, you seem to be in great health. Here's the name of a doctor I want you to go see for your condition, though.
DR: Rachel...you are pregnant. [she falls off the bed in shock]
ScEnE: A townhouse; redecorated by Pheebs.
PHEEBS: This is my new place. With Frank, Leslie, and Chandler. Oh cool! [she plays with her nieces and nephew]
[her FRIENDS look at her...featuring a getting pregnant-looking Rachel]
ScEnE: Monica's apartment. All 5 but Joey.
JOEY: I'm in a movie with Jennifer Lopez! I'm in a movie with Jennifer Lopez! I'm in a movie with Jennifer Lopez!
CHAND: It's amazing what you can do on the internet. [all stand, hug Joey]
JOEY: Filming starts in early June! I'm gonna be Jennifer Lopez's leading man!!!
ROSS: Let's go to Las Vegas to celebrate, guys!!
ScEnE: Bar in Vegas. Joey is VERY drunk. Back of a woman shown.
JOEY: How YOU doin'?
ScEnE: Joey's room.
CHAND: Wake up, Joe. Long day ahead--oh my God!
JANICE [only wearing sheet in the bed]: OH MY GAWD!
CHAND: What are YOU doing here?
JANICE: I am Mrs. Joey Trivviani.
ScEnE: Monica's apartment.
CHANDLER: Monica, will you marry me?
MONICA [pondering for 10-15 seconds]: Hell yeah!!
JANICE: Are you all packed for our little move, Joey?
JOEY: Just about. Can you believe that in two weeks we'll be in Hollywood and I'll be makin' a movie with JENNIFER LOPEZ?! [Chandler enters]
CHAND: And I'll be married. Ick...that word STILL gives me chills. Listen, I appreciate you and Ross not giving me a bachelor party; I'm not in the mood with you moving and having to leave the apartment.
JOEY: No problem. But you don't mind if I hire the stripper for myself, do you? [Janice hits him]
OPENING CREDITS (this time, they play the full song with a "morphing" action; the FRIENDS get older and different looking for every season)
ScEnE: Joey, Chandler, and Janice's apartment.
JOEY: So...this is our last night together in the old apartment, huh?
CHAND: Actually, it was our last night when you said Janice could live with us until you moved. Appreciate it. [they both smile] So, where is Ross?
JOEY: I think he went to the hospital with Rachel...she's like 2 weeks overdue. I hope I'm around for her to have the baby. [they both yawn] I'm gonna turn in...we got a long day tomorrow.
CHAND: Yeah, but it's been well-worth the wait. [they get up; a few seconds go by. as they head for their rooms, they look at each other. Each one has a tear in their eye as they rush together to hug]
ScEnE: Wedding Chapel.
[Joey and Phoebe walk down the aisle together; Phoebe's dress is a beautiful fuschia color. Ross and a VERY pregnant Rachel head down the aisle after them. Chandler is waiting at the altar. Wedding March is played. The guests stand as Monica comes down the aisle with her dad]
PRIEST: Dearly beloved, (there's more, but I don't wanna get into it). Does anyone see reason for these two people to not be united in holy matrimony? [Monica gives a glare with such anger, that NO ONE would DARE speak]
PRIEST: Do you, Monica, take Chandler to be your lawfully wedding husband?
MONICA: I do.
PRIEST: Do you, Chandler, take Monica to be your lawfully wedded wife?
JOEY: He didn't have to say any names Ross--too bad you did. [guests look at him] Whoops.
CHAND [looking at Joey]: I do.
PRIEST: By the power vested in me by the state of New York--
RACHEL: OH MY GOD.
PHOEBE: Wait...they aren't married yet.
RACHEL [grabbing her abdomen]: Oh no...not now...
PRIEST: I now pronounce you man and wife...you may kiss the bride. [As Chandler and Monica lean in, Rachel--]
RACH: OH MY GOD...ROSS, THE BABY'S COMING!!!
[The six friends look at each other. Monica and Chandler kiss quickly, and start running down the aisle]
MON and CHAND: Thank you for coming...nice to see you...there will still be refreshments at the hall, etc.
[Outside, they rush the pretty much OBESE Rachel into the limo, and tell the driver to step on it]
ScEnE: Hospital. Mon, Chand, Phoebe, Joey, and Janice are all in the waiting room with their wedding garb on.
CHAND: Hey...You had the triplets here almost two years ago, eh, Pheebs?
PHEEBS: Yeah...but I'm happy Rachel has to go through it now and not me because I'll die if I have to do it again. [all laugh] You think I'm joking.
JOEY: I guess we'll get to see the baby after all, huh? I'm glad. I didn't wanna have to wait until it was older to finally meet him or her.
JANICE: Yup. And now we can start our new life in HOLLYWOOD!! [There is dead silence among them]
CHAND: Mon...I know you wanted our wedding to be perfect...and it was until Rachel started to have that baby. Are you mad because it wasn't perfect?
MONICA: Chandler, I-- [She's cut off by an entering Ross]
ROSS: My daughter has ten fingers and ten toes! DAUGHTER!! [they all get up and start hugging him]
MONICA: Chandler, it WAS perfect. [they six people are in a group hug]
ScEnE: The airport. Joey and Janice are ready to get going. None of the kids are there. As the camera focuses in more, you can see that they are already deep into conversation.
JOEY: So...uh...I-I-I guess THIS is IT.
MONICA: I...oh God. This is so weird. I'm married and I might never see you again Joey. I should be happy right now, but how can I be with you leaving? At least MOM is happy. Congratulations, you two. Joey...good luck. I love you. (they hug and kiss)
PHOEBE: Wow. I-I love you so much Joey. I can't believe you're not gonna be here anymore. Just watch out for yourself and don't get down when things get floopy. And I always knew Janice was your lobster. (they hug and kiss)
ROSS: I never thought this day would come...I never thought one of Estelle's gigs would actually pay off. But seriously...you're my brother. Take care of yourself, man, and remember those guys that stood by you the entire time.
I love you, man. (hug...teary)
RACHEL: I didn't want anything to do with you guys--then you became my family. I love you...now I can't believe one of us is LEAVING. Uh...I'm gonna cry. I love you Joey. Don't forget to call us when you can. (she
cries uncontrollably...they hug and kiss)
CHANDLER: I don't wanna talk. It's too hard. I...we've been through so much together..and now? Now we're not gonna do that anymore. I...I'm gonna miss you, dude. I love ya, man. (they hug and both cry)
JOEY: Hey...we're like 31 years old. You and Monica are married, Ross and Rachel are married, Phoebe has those kids...those kids...and I'm married and I'm makin' a movie!!! We've all come a long way. Live in a box, date an
ex's son, married a lesbian, left a guy at the altar, married a gay ice dancer, and threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire!
(All laugh..they soon stop when Janice joins in)
CHANDLER: How you gonna live with that?
(A cute stewardess goes by)
JOEY: How YOU doin'?
JANICE: C'mon, Joey!!! I don't wanna be late. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
(All the FRIENDS look at each other)
PHOEBE: I'm gonna miss this!
(They all run together, crying. They hug for what seems like a second, but is actually
more like five minutes. The plane is said to be boarding for the last time.)
JOEY: I gotta go...Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, Rachel, Monica. YOU are my family. Thanks. Yeah, thanks. And I love you. ALL of you. Don't forget me.
(Janice boards the plane ramp...Joey follows, looking back at his sobbing FRIENDS. A lot of years have gone by since they first met. It's time to move on. He nods, turns. Pans back to R, R, C, M and P. They all look at each other, expecting a hug.)
ROSS: We gotta go pick up Ben and "SOMETHING" from Mom and Dad. We'll talk to you guys later.
RACH: Yeah. I'll call you.
PHEEBS: Yeah...Frank Jr., Jr., has a doctor's appointment today. I better go, too.
CHANDLER: And our place is a mess from all my boxes...and you know Mon...
MONICA: Yep. Gotta clean the house. But we'll talk later. How's tomorrow night at our place for you guys?
ROSS: Sorry, Mon, but Sandra hasn't seen "SOMETHING" yet, and she just got in from Greece, so we're going to her house tomorrow.
PHEEBS: And my dad is coming over to play with my kids.
CHANDLER: Oh...well, we'll get together sometime. When we aren't busy.
(They all look at each other...good byes are said as they walk in three different directions--Chandler and Monica holding hands, Ross and Rachel wrapping their arms around each other, and Phoebe walking alone. Soon, the
screen goes to four separate blocks, as a crying Joey is shown on his plane. )
CREDITS ROLL with the music that is always played at the end.