TOW all the mess (working title)
{Intro: This is a fanfic for the season five opener havent seen many of those, have you J ? take under consideration that I havent seen the season finale yet and note that this has nothing to do with my other two fanfics. Thanx, and enjoy the story. Feedback, positive or negative (I prefer positive J ) send to me at: anat_shallev@hotmail.com)
Priest: Shall I continue?
EMLY: (in tears) dont bother (runs off)
ROSS: Emily, wait!
RACH: (at the audience) (to herself) oh boy (out loud) Ross, wait! (goes and chases him off).
JOEY: (To Chandler, whos standing next to him) You think well get our presents back (Chandler glares at him)
Opening credits
{Scene: The church. Emilys parents and Ross and Monica parents are there arguing)
JACK: Im terribely sorry for this!
JUDY: It was simply a mis-understanding!
Mrs. W: a mis-understandin? Saying your ex girlfriend name while exchanging vows?
JACK: Were sick of your attitude! We hate you!
Mr.W: Yeah? Well, at least we didnt throw tea to water for a stupid reason!
JUDY: You call the HUGE texes you hit us with a stupid reason?
Mrs W: oh yeah? Well you live in a city that belonged, and was named by us!
JACK (to Judy) Is that true? (Judy nods)
Monica approaches them
MNCA: Okay, would you bickering for a second, all of you?
JUDY: Monica, you stay away from this!
MNCA: No, I will not! The four of you have been making it hard on both Emily and Ross. At this time you should be there for them.
Mrs.W: for what? There isnt going to be a wedding!
MNCA: You dont know that! Ross made a mistake, but they both love each other.
JUDY: (fake smile) well, its good to know that youre not jelous.
MNCA: (screaming) URGH! Mom, Ive had it with you (by now,everybody at the church are listening) you keep bothering me and putting me down. Everything I do is wrong! Every guy I see is a freak (pause) (more quietly) well I agree with you on that one (continues) but you need to support me and love me and not to put me down. From now on, Im not talking to you. (Storms out of the church)
JACK: Honey
JUDY: Let her go Jack.
CHAN: (running after her) Mon, wait!
{Scene: The church. Rachel returns, approaching Joey whos alone)
JOEY: Hi, where have you been?
RACH: Out, looking for Ross, but I couldnt find him. Where are everybody?
JOEY: Well, Phoebes home at NYC because shes pregnant, Ross screwed up and
is out looking for Emily (Rachel gives him an "I know that" look) Monica got
upset with her mom and run off, and Chandler went after her. (Rachel smiles) what are you
smiling about?
RACH: Joey, knock knock! Ive got him! Ross is mine! He loves me, and I love him!
JOEY: Hold on Rach, what about Emily?
RACH: You see her here?
JOEY: You see Ross here?
(Cell phone rings)
JOEY: Its probably Phoebe. I told her Ill call her back. (answering the phone) Hello? Phoeebs!
(Cut to: Phoebe at NYC, at Monicas appartment.)
PHOE: Joey, there is something I need to tell you.
(Cut to: The church)
JOEY: What is it?
(Still in the church, we hear Phoebes voice through the cell phone)
PHOE: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Joey takes the cell phone away from him and Rachel hears it too.)
RACH: Oh my god! (Takes the phone) Phoebe, honey is it time?
(Cut to: NYC)
PHOE: Either that or these babies will face the Iranian team at the next world cup games.
(Cut to: Church)
RACH: Now honey, calm down.
(Cut to: NYC)
PHOE: I cant, Im leaking on Monicas couch!
(Cut to: Church)
RACH: Okay, listen up. Call Frank and Alice, get a cab and go to the hospital. Me &
Joey will get the next flight home honey, alright?
Phoe: Yeah!!!!!!!!!
{Scene: Monicas hotel room. Monicas there on the bed, crying. Chandler enters.}
CHAN: Monica (goes over and hugs her. He starts stroking her head)
MNCA: Why does she always have to make me fell miserable?
CHAN: Hi, your moms not that bad. At least she wouldnt kiss your friend, or write bad novels, or never call you unless she needs something.
MNCA: Im sorry honey. Were pathatic huh?
CHAN: Yknow what? Were not pathatic! Theyre pathatic! They have a great son slash daughter and they treat us bad! I say its their problem!
MNCA: Yeah!
CHAN: You damn right yeah!
MNCA: Chandler, whats going on with us?
CHAN: We share a battle against looney parents!
MNCA: No, I mean last night.
CHAN: I knew that well I dont know.
MNCA: After eight years BOOM! We sleep together. What do you think will happen at NYC? Should we tell the others or not?
CHAN: After a while, well wait and see what happens at home, and then well decide wether we should tell them or not. Right now, theres something I wanna show you
MNCA: what?
CHAN: This
(starts to kiss her passionatly)
MNCA: Oh, that! (They continue)
{Scene: A hallway, presumbly the Walthems residance. Ross is wandering through the halls}.
ROSS: Emily? Em? Where are you? (Suddenly stops, hears something from a room) Emily is
that you? (Opens the door and sees Emily making out with her ex boyfriend Colin)
Commercial break
{Scene: The hallway, Ross went out and Emily goes after him}
EMLY: Ross? Oh, god Ross Im so sorry. I was drunk and
ROSS: Its okay, I forgive you.
EMLY: You do? Usually you wouldve lost your head!
ROSS: I guess I would. Remember I told you what happened with Rachel? We took a break, I was upset and drunk and I ended up sleeping with someone else.
EMLY: Yes, I remember.
ROSS: Emily, I didnt mean anything when I said Rachels name. I just looked
at her, and was excited that she came!
EMLY: I understand Ross.
ROSS: You do? Thats great! (Kisses her) so, you wanna get back there and get married now or wait till tommorow so that our parents will relax
EMLY: Ross, we cant get married!
ROSS: What? But I though you just said .
EMLY: I forgive you. And I love you. But we cant get married. It was a very hasty decision and we both know that the two of us have un finished buisness to take care of. But we can still be friends.
Ross: (relancuantly) I guess (they hug).
{Scene: A hospital at NYC, about Eight hours later. Joey and Rachel arrive}
RACH: finally were here! Do you think that the indian texi driver that I hit would
press charges?
JOEY: Nah. Did you take the cell phone with you?
RACH: Yep, and I left Mon a note we left. I hope she reads it.
{Scene: Monicas hotel room. She and Chandler are at bed cuddeled)
MNCA: Hi you!
CHAN: Hi (they kiss)
MNCA: You do understand that weve been in this bed since last night, and its already morning! Weve been here for about eight hours!
CHAN: Well its fun.
(A knock on the door. Its Ross)
ROSS: Mon, are you there? Its me Ross. I need to talk to you!
MNCA: (To Chandler, whispering) Oh man! Not again!
ROSS: Mon? Are you there?
MNCA: Ah, yeah Ross, Im coming! (To Chandler) quick, um to the bathroom.
CHAN: (Also whispering) Alright, alright Im going! (Goes to the bathroom).
MNCA: (loud, to Ross) Hold on a sec.! (Opens the door) hi! Did you talk to Emily?
ROSS: Yes, she understands that I said Rachel not because of anything else but the fact that I was excited that she came.
MNCA: Thats great! So whens the wedding?
ROSS: There wont be any. Emily said that we both decided about it too soon and we both have un finished buisness to take care of.
MNCA: Well, honey, if thats how she feel I guess theres nothing you can do about it.
ROSS: I guess. (Notices something on the chair) hi whats that (points at the
chair)?
MNCA: Is that a trick question?
ROSS: (Gives her a nudge) no, I mean this (takes a pants, Chandlers to be exact)!
MNCA: (at a loss for words) this? These are .pants.
ROSS: I know that didnt Chandler wear these pants? Or was it Joey?
MNCA: (too quickly) Chandlers. (Ross eyes widened) wait its not what you think! Um Chandlers taking a shower here! Yep! The run of water in Joey and Chandlers room isnt working.
ROSS: Then how come I dont hear any water running?
MNCA: Thats because he already finished his shower, but You know Chandler always has to dry his hair with a towel 27 times before he comes out his dad taught him that. (Loud, so Chandler can clearly hear) Chandler? Are you done drying your hair 27 times after you took that shower?
CHAN: (from bathroom, realizing and co operating) Why Monica, Im just on my 23rd time. Hi Ross.
ROSS: How did he know I was here?
MNCA: Probably just heard you! (Phone rings)(Underneath her breath) saved by the bell.
ROSS: What?
MNCA: Nothing (Answers the phone) Hello?
(Cut to: Hospital in NYC. Rachels talking on her cell phone)
RACH: Hi Mon!
(Cut to: Monica hotel room)
MNCA: Rachel, where the hell are you?
(Cut to: Hospital in NYC)
RACH: Me and Joey are at NYC! Didnt you get the note I left you on your bed?
(Cut to: Monica hotel room)
MNCA: (twists face) no! I wasnt even near bed.
(Cut to: hospital in NYC)
RACH: Well, its been over then eight hours were not there! Didnt you notice?
(Cut to: Monica hotel room)
MNCA: I was kinda busy!
(Cut to: Hospital in NYC)
RACH: Doing what?
(Cut to: Monica hotel room)
MNCA: NOTHING!
(Cut to: Hospital in NYC)
RACH: Never mind. Were here because Phoebe is in labours. Im talking for the hospital.
(Cut to: Monica hotel room)
MNCA: Oh my god!
ROSS: What? What is it?
MNCA: (loud) Phoebe is having the babies!
ROSS: Thats (cuts by Chandler running in enthusiastic with nothing but a towel
around his waist and below. I guess that like me the girls and maybe some guys in the
crowed would go wild).
CHAN: Did she have them yet? (Starts jumping up and down)
ROSS: Oh my god stop doing that! (Chandler stops)
MNCA: (to Rachel) Rach, tell Phoebe me Chandler and Ross love her and that well get on the first flight home!
(Cut to: Hospital in NYC)
RACH: Wait, Mon, what about Ross and Emily? Are they getting married?
(Cut to: Monica hotel room)
MNCA: No. See ya (hungs up) Ross, go packing (to Chandler) Chandler, you too (Chandler nods) and you better get dressed too
CHAN: Right!
MNCA: Though, like this youll make a lot of new friends.
{Scene: An airport in London. Ross, Monica and Chandler are there. Ross and Monica parents arrive}
JACK: Hi guys! (Various greetings)
JUDY: Ross, explain again what you couldnt over the phone. Why are we flying home now?
ROSS: Well, Phoeebs si having her babies and Emily broke up with me ( Jack and Judy hug him.)
JUDY: oh honey
MNCA: Escuse me for a minute (walks off)
JUDY: God, whats up with her? Shes been acting like a volcano these last couple of days! Its not my fault she doesnt have a boyfriend.
CHAN: (gets mad, about to explode) Mrs. Geller, will stop it already? You have no idea how much youre hurting her! Youre always criticizing her, giving her a hard time about everything in her life, her love life espicially, treating her like she was the black sheep in the family.(Judy tries to speak, but Chandler cuts her) Shes doing all she can trying to please you but you still dont care! Youve got an amazing daughter and you dont even know that or give her a chance! And you (points to Jack) just sit there, think about how youll be barried at sea, and do nothing!
JACK: Now, thats not true!
CHAN: The heck it does! I know Monica for eight years now, and I know her probably better than you! I bet that right about now shes come back (Monica returns) and apologize to you! See? Mon, come on lets go grab a snack.
MNCA: Okay (the two of them go together)
JACK: Ross, what was that all about?
ROSS: (still stunned) I dont know. (Pause) maybe about drying your hair 27 times.
{Scene: A hospital room. Phoebes about to give birth at any second and Rachels in there with her}
RACH: Honey, relax.
PHOE: (Shouting) Dont you tell me to relax! Im not your dad having a fit after you borrowed his car when you were sixteen! Im giving birth to three little twerps whore not even mine! Oh god, URGH!!!
{Scene: The hospital waiting room. Joey, Frank Jr. and Alice are present. They hear
Phoebes scream)
JOEY: (to a nurse) what was that?
NURSE: Um, sir, theres a nine month pregnant woman with triplets in there, what do
you think she does, play racket ball? (Goes away)
ALICE: I feel so bad for Phoebe.
FRNK: Joey, can you please shout to me through the window if anything happenes? I gotta go put money in the meter near the relaxi-cab.
JOEY: you came here in the van? Why didnt you just get a texi dr?
FRNK: Hi, Im scared of texi drivers! They ran down my imaginery childhood friend pissaussie (gets emotional, and runs off)
ALICE: (to Joey) Its very hard on him (Joey nods)
{Scene: The plane. There are two rows of seats. Chandler and Monica are sitting on the right row together while Jack, Judy and Ross are sitting on the left fow. They are not making any contact}
MNCA: What did you tell them?
CHAN: I only said what you and I talked about. Im sorry if I messed things up.
MNCA: You didnt! They did. All you said was helping me. Thanx.
CHAN: well, I am the Bing of the hour.
MNCA: Is this joke catagorized under the stupid jokes file along with the blue glazer
black and how to squeeze four Clintons in a car?
CHAN: Hi that was funny!
MNCA: Fat chance Bing. (Gets green) I think Im gonna be sick!
CHAN: Again? This is like the ninth time?
(Monica runs off to the bathroom)
{Scene: The hospital room. Phoebe and Rachel with some nurses and a doctor)
DR.: Okay, one more push!
RACH: (repeating) One more push!
DR.: Youre doing great!
RACH: Youre doing great!
PHOE: Rachel, you do realise Im gonna have to hit you!
RACH: Sorry.
PHOE: (while pushing) Yknow, its not at all like Ive been picturing me giving birth.
RACH: Oh yeah? Whats the difference?
PHOE: Well, first theyre not mine, second its three babies instead of one, and
third, I thought that Bruce Willis will help me give birth.
{Scene: Waiting room. Joeys reading a magazine, Alice and Frank Jr.(who returned)
are just pacing around nervously. The Gellers plus Chandler arrive)
ROSS: Hi! (They all greet)
MNCA: Did she have them yet?
JOEY: Well, not yet. But once theyll be born, youll hear Phoeebs.
JACK: Wheres Rachel?
ALICE: Shes in there with Phoebe.
MNCA: Oh, god! (Runs off)
JUDY: (To Jack, quietly) I didnt say anything now, did I?
ROSS: (approaches Chandler) Chandler, you were right, Im sorry. You were right about everything.
JUDY: what? Ross, what are you talking about?
ROSS: This! Mom, youre always treating me like a prince and Monica like the poor maid. Like on the plane, she ran to the bathroom eight times and you didnt even make sure that she was okay! Which Im about to do right
(Rachel comes out excited)
RACH: She had them! Phoebe had the babies!
(Everybody (except for Monica whos not there) are excited)(Nurse comes in)
NURSE: You can see your friend now.
(They all enter. Phoebes holding two of em (two boys) and another nurse is holding the girl)
ALICE: Oh my god, my babies! (Nurse hands her the girl)(To the baby) Hi Lesly!
PHOE: Here Frank, take Frank Jr. Jr. (and him) and Chandler, will you hold Chandler for
a minute?
CHAN: Sure (holds him) it feels so good to hold a baby. Hi there little Chandler!
NURSE: Escuse me, but Phoebeand the babies need to rest. If their parents will come with me
ALICE: Yes, ofcourse
{Scene: Later at the waiting room. Chandler, Joey, Ross and Rachel are sitting down. Jack and Judy Geller are not seen.}
CHAN: Where the hell is Monica? Im worried about her!
JOEY: Hi, dont worry, Im sure shes fine. Hi, maybe shes just stuck in a storage room!
CHAN: Help me find her will ya? (They both take off)
RACH: So, Ross, what hapenned with um, Emily?
ROSS: Well, she said we werent ready to get married yet. But she understood that I
said your name and not hers, simply because were good friends and I was happy that
you arrived and not because Im still inlove with you. (pause) which is not true.
RACH: (sad, but hiding it) Oh. (Pause) you really loved Emily didnt you?
ROSS: Yes I did. Yknow what I miss?
RACH: What?
ROSS: Us, before the relationship. The way we used to talk. NOT that I didnt enjoy my relationship with you or anything. I did! You and Emily are the best relationships Ive ever been at, but I miss our friendship.
RACH: Me too.
ROSS: Oh, come on (hugs her). Ill be right back, nature calls.
RACH: (after hes gone)(smug) he still wants me!
{Scene: Still the waiting room. An hour passed. All present except for Monica who still hasnt returned. Phoebes sitting with all of them on a wheel chair. Rachel holds Lesly, Judy holds Frank 3rd and Joeys holding little Chandler}
JUDY: Oh, theyre so darn cute! (Everybody nods in agreement)
(Monica arrives. Chandler goes over to her).
CHAN: Where have you been? Ive been looking all over for you?
MNCA: In a sec.
ALICE: Monica, since youve always been so kind to me and Frank, and we know how much youd like a baby, weve decided to make you the god mother.
MNCA: Wow, thats really sweet of you, but that wont be necessary.
RACH: Honey, are you sure?
MNCA: Yes. During all the time I was away, Ive been thorwing up in the toilet. So I
figured hi, Im feeling lousey, this is a hospital
.Ill go and see a
doctor!
JOEY: Figures!
MNCA: Anyway he took some blood tests and .
ROSS: and ?
MNCA: Im pregnant!
Theyre all stunned
PHOE: Um, okay, question time: Dont you need a boyfriend or just a guy to get your pregnant?
MNCA: Well
CHAN: Dont answer that. Rachel, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, Alice, Mr. & Mrs. Geller, Chandler, Lesly, Frank 3rd
FRNK: Its Jr. Jr.
CHAN: whatever. Theres something I wanna declare in fromt of you. For eight years Ive been a fool. I knew something but instead of just recognize and do something about it, Ive hided from it. Ross, in London when you ran in my room in the morning and when you got to Monicas room, she was under the sheets and I wasnt taking a bath. Me and Monica slept together. And, I wasnt sure wether to tell you or keep it a secret, but after experiencing feelings that Ive never had for a woman before, Im certain I want you all to know.
(Monica huggs him)
(Everybody but Ross) oh
Ross: (clinching his fists, angrily) OH! (Gets up and chases Chandler. Chandler runs away, theyre now out of sight).
JUDY walks to Monica
JUDY: Honey? Im so sorry for everything! You and Chandler were absoluetly right and
I was a fool. I hope you could forgive me and I wish you all the best with chandler.
Hes a wonderful young man, and perfect for you.
MNCA: Thank you mom. I forgive you
(They hug)
CLOSING CREDITS (finally!)
{Scene: Central perk. All the gang is there, Joey on the table, Monica and Chandler (who are by the way hugged) with Phoebe on the couch, Ross is on the chair with Rachel on the hand of the chair. None of them is speaking, but we can see what theyre thinking, marked in Italics}
MNCA: Im going to have a baby!
CHAN: I wonder if Ross will shoot me
ROSS: Im going to kill Chandler! Im going to kill Chandler! Im going
to kill Chandler!
RACH: God, Ross is so darn cute when hes angry. God, I WANT HIM!
JOEY: Were all going on a
..
PHOE: Summer holiday
.
JOEY & PHOE: tum ti ta la la la .
The end! J