(SCENE: Monica and Chandler’s. Day)

(Phoebe is sat on her own watching TV. Joey walks in. He stops at the door as Phoebe turns around.)

Joey: (Depressed) Hi

(Phoebe says nothing. Joey sits down and is followed into the room by Chandler who then stops at the front door.)

Chandler: (Depressed) Hi

Phoebe: (To Chandler) Ooh, I liked yours.

(Joey stands up in shock.)

Joey: How can you like Chandler’s Ross impression more then mine? I had the whole depressed palaeontologist thing going on.

Phoebe: I’m sorry. It’s just-

Monica: (OS) Ross has been gone two hours. You better not be doing impressions of him.

All: NO!

(Joey and Chandler sit down.)

Joey: You only like Chandler more coz he’s got a baby.

(Opening Credits.)

(SCENE: Monica & Chandler’s. Night)

(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are all sat in the kitchen. Phoebe is holding Caitlin. Joey walks in carrying a clip board.)

Joey: Hey

(The gang all give their hellos.)

Chandler: What’s with the clipboard Joe?

Joey: Oh, I’m preparing questions for my search for a new room mate.

Chandler: New room mate.

Monica: New room mate, why?

Joey: Well, with Ross gone I’m kinda lonely and besides, the rent is due soon.

Phoebe: What about the money from the film you’re gonna do?

Joey: Ah, well, you see I kinda spent half of it on a wedding present for Monica and Chandler

Chandler: Joe, you shouldn’t have.

Monica: That’s so sweet!

Joey: And the rest I spent on an endeavour involving Angela Delvecchio and the midnight train to Georgia.

Monica: That is not so sweet.

Chandler: Now is that the song or the actual train?

(Monica hits Chandler).

Phoebe: So, Joey, what questions are you going to ask?

Joey: Well, I was kinda thinking just general things like what their hobbies are, what their careers are....

Chandler: Y’know Joey, you can’t ask them whether they strip.

Joey: (Sneering) I know.

(Joey turns to walk out of the door. Just before he reaches the door, he looks down at his clipboard and crosses something off with his pen.)

(SCENE: Rachel & Phoebe’s, daytime)

(Rachel is curled up in a chair reading a book. The phone rings and she answers it.)

Rachel: Hello?

(SCENE: A room, daytime)

(It’s Ross who is sat in a wooden chair with the telephone on his lap.)

Ross: Hey.

(We alternate between the scenes as they talk.)

Rachel: (Sitting up) Oh, hey Ross. How are you?

Ross: I’m fine. Look, I need to pick Emily up from hospital soon, so I can’t talk long.

Rachel: (Dejected) Oh, okay.

Ross: Listen, I need you to do me a big favour, Rach.

Rachel: Sure. What’s up?

Ross: I need you to talk to Carol. I kinda left her in a bad way and I really need you to comfort her.

Rachel: (Laughs) Surely Susan would be better at that.

Ross: Please Rachel, be serious. I really want you to do this. I can’t talk to her. I’ve already tried. She always hangs up or Susan says words to me that she shouldn’t be saying in front of Ben.

Rachel: I don’t....

Ross: Rachel, I need you to do this. I can’t stand losing Carol and Ben. It’d break my heart to lose someone I love.

(Rachel seems to frown on this bit. There’s a pause.)

Ross: Rachel?

Rachel: Yeah, I’m still here.

Ross: So, will you do it?

Rachel: (Unenthusiastic)Um, yeah, okay.

Ross: Thanks Rach. Look, I gotta go, but thanks again.

(Ross puts down the phone and we go back to Rachel. She puts down the receiver and places her hand under her chin. She stares off into space as we fade out.)

(SCENE: Joey’s -and what was Ross’- apartment. Day.)

(A Goth is stood in the middle of the room while Joey stands next to him. Joey appears to be a little bit freaked)

(Rachel sits down.)

Rachel: It’s just that.... He said on the phone that he didn’t want to lose anyone he loved, but he left me for Emily and England.

Monica: Oh, sweetie. Ross doesn’t mean to do what he does. Ross may have left, but he still loves you. Deep down you know he does. Just remember that he was married to Emily. There’s a bond there that you are gonna find hard to break.

Rachel: I suppose, but....

(Monica puts Caitlin, who is now asleep, into her cot)

Monica: Look, you know he loves you. If he didn’t, why would he phone you? He could have phoned me. I was Carol’s once sister-in-law. He could have asked Chandler who would have brought her round through jokes. He could have asked Phoebe and she would have sang. He could have asked Joey and he.... (pause) He would have tried to convert Carol into a heterosexual.

Rachel: (Laughs) I guess.

Monica: As long as he lives, Ross will always love you, but you are gonna have to get use to fact that maybe his love for you is different from how it use to be.

(Monica puts her arm around Rachel and they have a cuddle.)

(SCENE: Joey’s apartment. Day.)

(Joey is on the couch with a very attractive woman.)

Joey: So, you like the apartment?

Woman: Yeah, I love it. I especially love the added features.

(The woman strokes Joey’s arm.)

Joey: Well, I gotta ask you a few more questions.

Woman: Sure, shoot.

Joey: Um, what is your occupation? That means job, right? ‘Cause Chandler told me it did, and he likes to kid around…

(The woman smiles)

Woman: I know what you mean... Well, anyway, I’m a model (Joey smiles) and at night, I’m a stripper. (Joey’s smile widens) Oh, and at weekends I’m the high priestess in a service we hold at Central Park where we bathe ourselves in the glory that is Satan.

(Joey’s smile stays, but his eyes frown. He is afraid. Very afraid.)

(SCENE: Carol and Susan’s. Day)

(Susan is sat on the couch reading a book with Ben. Carol walks to the front door and opens it. There stands Rachel.)

Carol (surprised): Hello Rachel.

Susan: Rachel?

(Ben climbs off the couch and runs to hug Rachel.)

Ben: Hi, Rachel!

(Rachel picks Ben up)

Rachel: Hey Ben. Wow, you got big!

Ben: Have you seen Daddy?

(Rachel takes Ben onto the couch. Susan stands up and leans against the counter.)

Rachel: Ooh, not for a while.

Carol(bluntly, straight to the point): What do you want, Rachel?

Rachel: Listen, I got a message from Ross.

Ben: You spoke to daddy?

Rachel: Uh-huh, I sure did. He says he’s missing you and your mommy. (Looks at Carol pointedly) Very, very much.

Susan: Well, daddy would say anything to get into mommy’s good books.

(Rachel ignores Susan.)

Rachel: Carol, Ross feels bad about what he’s done. He’s been trying to apologise for ages. You know he would never leave you if he didn’t have to. (To Ben) Daddy wouldn’t leave you, would he?

Ben: No.

Susan: But that’s what daddy did, isn’t it?

Rachel: Hey, y’think mommy’s friend could allow daddy’s friend to get a word in edgeways sometime…?

(Susan looks surprised and insulted, but shuts up anyway)

Carol: Susan, could you leave please?

Susan: Fine.

(Susan walks into the bedroom.)

Carol: I never meant to hurt Ross. I was just angry that I wouldn’t see him again. Rachel, when you get married, if you divorce, there is always a bond there...

(Rachel interrupts)

Rachel: …that can never be broken. I know, I’ve heard. This is all the more reason why you have to talk to Ross. You need to get that bond back to how it use to be. Y’know, to how it used to be when you got divorced.

(Carol frowns.)

Rachel: Is it me or did that sound really weird?

(They both laugh.)

Carol: I think I know what you mean. Could you excuse me?

Rachel: Sure! (To Ben) Hey, do you want to go and see your cousin Caitlin and Auntie Monica?

Ben: Yeah.

Rachel: Okay then. (She hands Carol a piece of paper) That’s Emily and Ross’s number. I’d phone now if I were you. He’ll have just got out of bed. English time, you know?

(Rachel grabs Ben’s coat and they leave.)

Ben: Bye, mommy!

Carol: Bye, Ben. Have a great time with Monica and Rachel. (to Rachel) Say hi to Monica for me.

(Rachel nods)

Rachel: Will do.

(Carol turns to the phone and dials. She waits a while and then....)

Carol: Hello Ross. It’s Carol....

(Fade out.)

(Ending credits)

(Int. Joey’s. Night)

(Everyone is there except Chandler.)

Joey: Well, he’ll be here soon.

Monica: Who will?

Joey: My new roomie!

Phoebe: Oh wow! Is it the Italian guy?

Joey: Pheebs, I’m the Italian guy.

Pheebs: Oh. Then you’re someone else.

Monica: Okay… Listen Joey, when did you meet this guy?

Joey: I didn’t. He phoned me. Apparently, he had lived in apartments like this before. He sounds like a really nice guy and he even paid the first couple of months rent already.

Monica(disbelieving): And yet you haven’t met him?

Joey: Nope.

Rachel: Joey, this guy could be a maniac.

Joey: Don’t be silly. This is New York.

(The girls frown. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door.)

Joey: Ah, that’ll be him.

Monica: Oh joy! Kill-a-gram.

Rachel: What’s he called?

Joey(uncaring): Eddie Minowick.

Rachel: You don’t think....

Monica: Nooooo…

(Joey opens the door and there stands Eddie, Chandler’s ex-roomie. The girls all gasp.)

Eddie: Hiya pals.

Monica: Or maybe so.

END