Friends

A Script by BSW

The One With A Family Room

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Line 251 - Special Appearance by a much loved and missed freak!!!!!

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Scene - Central Perk

(Rachel, who is sat at the bar, with a drink, talking to Gunther)

Gunther - So, are you….Um….are you seeing anyone, Rachel? You know…Ross? Paulo? Barry? Mark? Pete Carney? Karl from the museum?

Rachel - No. Hold on a sec, how do you know about all those people?

Gunther - You and your friends talk pretty loudly.

Rachel - I guess. Hang on, only Phoebe and Monica know about Karl.

Gunther - Well, one of them must have said it.

Rachel - OK.

Gunther - So you’re single, eh?

Rachel - Yeah.

Gunther - Free, single, smart and beautiful.

Rachel - Well, I’m not exactly free. And I wasn’t very smart either.

Gunther - You always are.

Rachel - Gunther, I’m pregnant with Ross’ child.

Gunther - Oh my God!

Rachel - I told you.

Gunther - So, are you two back together?

Rachel - No. No way.

Gunther - then how comes Ross was in here earlier, saying you two were moving back in together?

Rachel - He said what? I’m gonna kill him with my bare hands!

Ross - OK, I’d better go now. You won’t tell Rachel about the place, will you?

Gunther - Oh no. I wouldn’t do that.

Ross - Thanks, man.

Gunther - he he he he he he

Credits

Scene - Guys’ Apartment

(Chandler, Ross and Joey)

Ross - So, how did your woman trouble go?

Chandler - She chose the other guy.

Ross - I’m sorry.

Joey - But hey, look on the bright side! Now tonight, you can go on one of the four dates I booked!

Chandler - You have four dates in one night?

Joey - Yeah. It is a Saturday.

Ross - Isn’t that kinda….

Chandler - Scumbagish?

Joey - Hey, don’t you go using all those posh words on me. Ross, the other day, he called me a vociferous idiot! I’m not sure about the vociferous part, but I’m no idiot.

Ross - Oh no, the pig!

Joey - So, do you want the date or not?

Chandler - No thanks. I know I’m a sad pathetic loser, but there’s no need to give me your castoffs.

Ross - Hey, calm down!

Chandler - I’m sorry, guys. I guess I’m just not in the mood for talking about women. See you later.

Ross - Anyway, I have some news. I’ve found this really great place for me, Rach and the baby!

Joey - So you asked her to move in with you? And she said yes? That’s great!

Ross - Well, not exactly…..

Joey - She turned you down?

Ross - I haven’t exactly asked her or told her I’ve got a house yet. I’m gonna ask her tonight. I’ve asked Monica to leave us alone tonight in the apartment!

Joey - Before or after she cooks the meal?

Ross - After. What do you think I am, stupid?

Scene - Pete’s Apartment

(Monica and Pete)

Monica - So…

Pete - So….

Monica - Thank you for lunch. It was wonderful.

Pete - That’s OK. Thankyou for being such good company today.

Monica - What do you mean?

Pete - Well, you’ve kinda been distant the past few weeks. I actually thought that there might be someone else.

Monica - I’m sorry. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately. There’s a lot going on with Ross and Rachel…..and the rest of the guys have needed me a lot too.

Pete - Well, as long as there was no-one else, that’s fine.

Monica - Who else could there possibly be?

Pete - Good. I like being with you, Monica.

Monica - I like being with you too.

Pete - 4pm. I really hate to say this, but I’ve got a meeting I need to go to.

Monica - What time does it start?

Pete - About half an hour ago.

Monica - I’d better go anyway. I promised Ross I’d cook him and Rachel a meal.

Pete - Are they back together then?

Monica - No, but it’s complicated.

Pete - Bye then.

Monica - Bye bye.

Scene - Girls Apartment

{That evening}

(Ross is sat at the table, lighting a candle. On the table, there’s a beautiful looking meal, and there’s a song playing gently in the background.)

Rachel - Monica? You’ve gotta see all these cute clothes I found today! Oh. Hi. Is Monica in?

Ross - No, she had to go somewhere.

Rachel - Who’s all this for?

Ross - I thought that we needed to talk about things. And I’ve got some questions

Rachel - OK. Just let me get changed. I’ve been out all day and I am so tired.

Ross - You shouldn’t strain yourself. It’s bad for the pair of you.

Rachel - OK. Just a second then.

Scene - Guys’ Apartment

(Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and Monica)

Phoebe - So, they totally liked it! And they’re thinking about advertising my parlor on national TV as the place that created Dream’s inner peace!

Joey - That’s really cool, Pheebs. Could you please carry on with the game now?

Phoebe - Oh. OK. Stick.

Joey - Monica?

Monica - Stick.

Joey - Chandler? Stick, Twist or buy?

Chandler - Twist.

Joey - What now?

Chandler - Buy. I’ll pay three bucks. Bust. As usual.

Phoebe - Don’t look like that! It makes the whole room turn brown!

Chandler - I’m fed up of playing this game. It’s like the worst cliché.

Monica - What do you mean?

Chandler - I take a chance and blow out. You’re too scared to do anything than stick with 17. Phoebe sticks because she doesn’t want to beat any of us incase she hurts our feelings and Joey benefits from our agony.

Monica - So why don’t you stick once in a while? You might be happy with what you’ve got.

Chandler - Because I know that I want better.

Phoebe - Woah! The room’s gone lime green now!

Joey - Pheebs? Do you think you’ve had enough beer now?

Phoebe - I believe that that is a distinct possibility!

Monica - Night you guys. I’m gonna go now.

Joey - But what about our game of poker? I’m about to win 23 bucks, 79 cents!

Monica - Keep it. I’m sticking on 17.

Commercial Break

Scene - Girls’ Apartment

(Ross and Rachel, who is wearing a dress that gently shows her bump)

Ross - Would you like some more wine?

Rachel - No thanks.

Ross - Come on, it’s non alcoholic.

Rachel - Thanks for the wonderful meal, but I’m not thirsty anymore. Come sit down with me. You wanted to ask me something.

Ross - OK. Rachel… we may not be an item right now, but we’re gonna have a baby. A baby that will need a Mom and a Dad. Ben needs me and Carol. Our baby needs you and me. Together. That’s why I have to ask this question. I think it would be the best for the baby if we lived together. In a house. The three of us.

Rachel - Ross………

Ross - I’ve been looking and I think I’ve found the perfect one. I’ve put down a deposit and tomorrow I want you to come and see it.

Rachel - No, Ross.

Ross - What? Are you busy tomorrow?

Rachel - I don’t want to move in with you. You’re being really sweet, and I’m gonna be kind with this, but I don’t want us all to live together. I can’t live with you. I’ve told you before.

Ross - But what about the baby?

Rachel - It needs you and me, but we don’t need each other. I’m sorry.

Ross - Why don’t you think about it? You could tell me in a few days.

Rachel - No, Ross. Goodnight. And tell Monica it was delicious!

Scene - Corridor between apartments

(Monica)

Monica - Hey, big bro!

Ross - Hey, Monny.

Monica - How did dinner go?

Ross - It was delicious. The vegetables were cooked to perfection! Of course, she knew it was cooked by you!

Monica - I didn’t mean that!

Ross - I know.

Monica - That bad, heh?

Ross - Yup. What’s happened to you? This place is usually filled by me, Rach or Chandler. Won’t Pete buy you that new diamond necklace?

Monica - Something like that.

Ross - he’s a great guy, Mom. And I don’t just mean ‘cause he’s rich. He cares about you. You deserve someone like that.

Monica - I know he’s right for me. Just like I know that you and Rachel need each other.

Ross - I’m not gonna let her go. I love her.

Monica - Just don’t go too far, Ross.

Ross - I’ll try.

Monica - You know, this is like one of the rare times I give you advise.

Ross - You may be my kid sister, but you’re good to talk to.

Monica - Keeps my problems off my mind.

Ross - I’d better go home. Ben’s coming over tomorrow morning. Carol and Susan want to have the morning to themselves. What they’re gonna do, I don’t want to know.

Monica - I suppose I’d better go and clean up after the pair of you.

Ross - Thanks, Mon.

Monica - Five weeks. And I’m still not sure.

Scene - Guys’ apartment

{The next morning}

(Chandler and Joey)

Joey - What time did you get in this morning?

Chandler - About three.

Joey - And you got up at 7?

Chandler - Yeah, so?

Joey - Don’t you know that each hour asleep before midnight is worth two after?

Chandler - Sorry.

Joey - Don’t say you’re sorry unless you mean it, young man! I waited for you until one o’clock!

Chandler - I’m a big boy, Jo. I can take care of myself.

Joey - Well, you’ll always be my little boy.

Chandler - What are we doing?

Joey - I don’t quite know. But if you have to ask, I’m not going to tell you!

Chandler - Stop it! Stop it now!
Joey - OK. done.

Chandler - Good. Now finish up your coco krispies like a good boy.

Scene - Girls’ apartment

(Rachel, who is sitting at the table with a glass of orange juice)

Monica - wow. It’s early for you! Up before midday on a Sunday!

Rachel - Well, I’ve got a meeting tomorrow at work.

Monica - How did last night go?

Rachel - Eeh. Not good. He wants us to live together. For the baby.

Monica - Are you saying you would have agreed if it had been because he loves you?

Rachel - No. Yes. I don’t know. I’m stuck. There’s Ross, who’s completely sweet, kind and loving. Or there’s my independence. With my baby. I don’t know. It’s too hard.

Monica - I know. There’s the safe option, or the hard one.

Rachel - Exactly. I escaped the safety once, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it again.

Monica - Maybe I ought to stick with the easy for once.

Rachel - Chandler again?

Monica - Yeah. He hates me for what I did.

Rachel - Do you want me to talk to him?

Monica - Would you? Thanks!

Rachel - sure. I’ll do it tomorrow though. Let him cool down.

Monica - Do you want me to talk to my brother?

Rachel - No. I’m gonna wait for that decision. I don’t need to make it now.

Monica - If you’re sure.

Rachel - Yeah. Eugh!!!!! Ugly naked guy’s vacuuming!

Monica - Ugh!!!!!

Rachel - Oh!!! So that’s what that attachment’s for!!!!!

Scene - Central Perk

(Phoebe and Rachel)

Phoebe - OK. you’re gonna love this! I couldn’t help buying it!

Rachel - You didn’t!!!!

Phoebe - I brought a present for the baby. It’s the first time one of us is having a baby, so I’m gonna spoil it rotten!

Rachel - What about Ben? His Dad’s Ross!

Phoebe - I know!!!!! But that’s different! Here!

Rachel - Phoebe! Aaaaaah! How sweet!

Phoebe - You see, when the baby’s born, you pour garlic butter all over it, and Voila!!!! Smelly cat!

Rachel - Thank you!!!!

Gunther - You know, I could buy the baby a present if you want.

Rachel - You don’t have to.

Gunther - Good, ‘cause it’s gonna be hard enough to make rent this month!

Phoebe - I really like that guy!!!!!

Credits

Teaser

Scene - Central Perk

(The whole gang)

Phoebe - OK. It’s called moms and dads.

Phoebe - thank you. Here it is….. Ben has two moms and one dad

The End

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Questions? Comments? Opinions? E-mail me them at: Rachel4Ross@btinternet.com

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