Friends

A script by BSW

The One Where Ross is Told

Scene - Girls’ Apartment

(Phoebe, Monica and Ross)

Phoebe - I hate this movie!

Ross - Hmm. Why????

Phoebe - ‘Cause you know, it’s so expected. You know that there are gonna be deaths, wars and football matches whenever you watch it!

Monica - Honey? It’s the news!

Phoebe - Oh. I knew that!

Rachel - God! I love my job!

Monica - OK, what have you done with our real Rachel?

Rachel - Ha ha. Very funny. Actually, I just got another pay rise.

Phoebe - Congratulations!

Rachel - Yeah, you know? It’s like I’m finally getting there. I’ll be able to look my Daddy in the eye and tell him that I’m independent. Plus, I’ll have enough to move out before long.

Monica - You what?

Rachel - Well, you know. I can’t live here forever what with….

Ross - With what?

Rachel - Nothing!

Phoebe - You know what? With your new pay rise, you could take us all out to dinner!

Rachel - Good idea. I’ll go and change out of these first, then I’ll check with the guys. Back soon!

Phoebe - Oh my God! That has like, never worked for me!

Monica - Well, we’d better hurry her, before she changes her mind!

Credits

Scene - Guys’ Apartment

(Chandler and Joey)

Chandler - And?

Joey - And she said no too.

Chandler - What? Two girls in one day?

Joey - I know! I’ve never been turned down before!

Chandler - Do you think it has anything to do with the no eyebrows?

Joey - You think?

Chandler - There’s definitely a distinct possibility!

Joey - What?

Chandler - Maybe.

Joey - Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?

Ross - Hey guys. Are you doing anything for dinner tonight?

Chandler - No. When do we ever?

Ross - Great. Rachel’s offered to take us all to dinner tonight. She’s made reservations for 8pm, so be at their apartment by 7.30, OK?

Joey - Does that mean I can’t wear my jammies?

Chandler - Oh no, Joe. You see, she’s taking us to a burger bar!

Joey - Can I keep them on, then?

Ross - No. It’s a tie and jacket restaurant. I’ve got to go. I need to phone Emily before I leave.

Chandler - How’s it going with you two?

Ross - Nice. She’s great.

Joey - So? Have you?

Ross - No. Not yet. I’ve got to go. Bye. See you later!

Joey - See? Even Ross has someone!

Chandler - Come one, we’ll go out for dinner and have a good time. Who knows? You might find someone there!

Scene - Girls’ Apartment

{An hour later}

(Monica and Rachel)

Monica - Have you told him yet?

Rachel - No.

Monica - So when are you planning to?

Rachel - I don’t know. I’ve been busy at work, and he’s been busy with Emily……

Monica - Are you jealous?

Rachel - Don’t be silly. Why would I be?

Monica - You said yourself, you still love him.

Rachel - Well, I’m not jealous!

Monica - The how come you’re wearing that dress?

Rachel - It’s my favourite!

Monica - And also the one you wore to his big dinosaur meeting last year!

Rachel - So?

Monica - And is that the perfume he gave you for your birthday?

Rachel - Maybe.

Monica - Come on. It’s me you’re talking to.

Rachel - I’m not saying anything!

Joey - About what?

Monica - The reason why she’s all dolled up!

Chandler - Talking of which, Monica, you look great!

Monica - Thanks.

Rachel - Anyway, I’m just gonna go get my purse.

Ross - Is everyone ready? I’ve got two cabs waiting for us downstairs.

Monica - We’ll go. Rachel’s just getting her purse.

Ross - I’ll wait for her. You guys go down.

Rachel - Wow. How long did I take?

Ross - They’re just saving the cabs downstairs. Wow. You look great!

Rachel - Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.

Ross - Well, thank you too! May I?

Rachel - You may, Mr. Geller!

Scene - Posh Restaurant

(All of the gang)

Chandler - So, Joey? Anything here you want?

Joey - Well……there’s the brunette in the corner and the redhead over there.

Ross - Um, Jo? I think he meant off the menu!

Joey - You mean they have a menu of women here? Rachel, this place is so cool!

Monica - Actually, it is pretty great. How did you find it?

Rachel - I can’t quite remember.

Ross - Wasn’t this where I promised you dinner the night of the museum expedition?

Rachel - I can’t remember.

Monica - Ugh. Forget I asked.

Waitress - Are you ready to order?

Monica - Ummm, I’ll have the salmon en croute.

Chandler - I’ll have the sole. Is it the shoe kind or the spiritual kind?

Waitress - Do you want to order an alcoholic beverage sir?

Chandler - Never mind.

Phoebe - I’ll have the stuffed eggplant.

Chandler - What do they do to it? Force feed it Baby Bio?

Waitress - Will you be dining with an infant, sir?

Chandler - No. Unless you count Joey.

Joey - I’ll have the lobster.

Phoebe - That’s expensive, Joey.

Rachel - It doesn’t matter. Have whatever you want.

Ross - Well, in that case, I’d love to say lobster, but I can’t so I’ll have Duck a l’orange, please.

Waitress - Of course. A fine choice.

Rachel - I’ll have the same please.

Waitress - OK. That’ll be ready in about 20 minutes.

Rachel - Thank you.

Chandler - Thank you for bringing us here.

Ross - Yeah. Raise your glasses please. To Rachel. May she receive many pay rises.

All - Here, here! Congratulations etc.

Rachel - well, thank you all for being there when I need you.

Commercial Break

{Cut to later}

Ross - Well, that was delicious!

Chandler - Did anyone see where Joe went?

Rachel - Mmmmm….I think he went to see those ladies over there.

Monica - Typical. Anyway, thanks again Rachel.

Rachel - I had to find somewhere to compete with all the posh places that Pete takes you to.

Monica - No, you don’t. Being with you guys is much better than going to Italy for a pizza.

Chandler - Monica, you’ve had two scotches. You don’t mean a word of that.

Monica - You’re right, I don’t.

Rachel - Well, at least you have a love life!

Ross - Hey! I’m not doing too badly.

Rachel - Look at us. Joey’s stalking women in a restaurant. Chandler spends every Saturday night either at home or at our place, with me, eating popcorn and watching soppy movies….

Chandler - Hey! You said you wouldn’t tell!

Rachel - ..Whilst Phoebe watches her Guinea-Pigs and I haven’t had a date in almost two months!

Ross - But you could have, you’re beautiful, smart and sexy. You just need to go out more without one of us.

Rachel - Thanks. But still…….

Phoebe - Come on! This is meant to be a happy night!

Rachel - I know, it’s just I’m almost 29. After that, it’s thirty. And I haven’t got anywhere!

Ross - That’s not true.

Monica - You have your job.

Rachel - I suppose. But I want something new and exciting to happen.

Ross - That’s exactly how I felt, so I went out and I found Emily!

Chandler - How is she?

Ross - She’s great. She’s so much fun, you know? I rang her earlier, and you know what she called me?

Monica - This isn’t going to be gross, is it?

Ross - No. She called me Jelly belly.

Phoebe - Why? Is her favourite food jelly?

Rachel - I think it’s more likely to be to do with the hair.

Ross - Why do you say that?

Rachel - Well, you know! Gel boy, gelly boy, gelly belly!

Ross - I don’t care! This is one of the best relationships I’ve had in a long time! She’s just so great!

Monica - It’s a shame she’s only staying for two weeks.

Ross - I know. It’s stupid, I know, but….I thought maybe this one would work out.

Rachel - Excuse me!

Chandler - At least she left her purse! She’ll have money in there! Who’s for some more champagne?

Ross - I’m gonna go after her.

Scene - Girls’ Apartment

(Rachel)

Ross - Ok. What is wrong?

Rachel - nothing.

Ross - Come on, Rach. You’re my best friend. Why won’t you tell me? Just ‘cause all this crap happened between us doesn’t mean you can shut me out. I want to know what’s upsetting you!

Rachel - No, you don’t.

Ross - Yes. Yes, I do. I don’t like seeing you upset. What’s wrong?

Rachel - Are you sure?

Ross - Yes.

Rachel - God! This isn’t what I had planned.

Ross - Come on.

Rachel - OK, Ross. I’m pregnant.

Ross - You’re….we’re?

Rachel - Yes.

Ross - Oh my God! How….when?

Rachel - I’m three months pregnant, Ross. As for how….can’t you remember?

Ross - It’s not funny.

Rachel - I know.

Ross - And you’ve been keeping this quiet from me?

Rachel - I didn’t know what to do. I was frightened.

Ross - Do your parents know?

Rachel - Not yet. But Monica and Chandler do.

Ross - Oh, Rachel.

Rachel - I’m sorry you had to find out like this. It isn’t what I wanted.

Ross - You realise how this is gonna change our lives?

Rachel - I’ve been thinking of nothing else. I can’t get rid of it. It’s my baby. It’s ours. It’s just that it’s gonna be like you and Carol. I know how much you regret not having Ben live with you.

Ross - Don’t worry. I’ll think about that later. Oh my God, Rach.

Rachel - I know.

Ross - Wow. I’m gonna be a Dad again!

Rachel - Well, I’m gonna be a Mom. Rachel Green…mom.

Scene - Guys’ Apartment

(Monica and Chandler)

Monica - Do you think she told him?

Chandler - I hope so.

Monica - I’d hate to be in her position.

Chandler - then don’t sleep with Ross!

Monica - No. I mean pregnant by your best friend. Can you believe it? Ross and Rachel with their baby!

Chandler - Do I take it as you’re turning me down?

Monica - I don’t know. It would be great, but I don’t want to ruin what we have.

Chandler - And Pete?

Monica - I haven’t told him anything. We’re still together.

Chandler - Does that mean you love him, not me?

Monica - I don’t know. I love both of you. I just need to find out who I’m in love with.

Chandler - Just remember…Chandler has leather chairs!

Monica - So does Pete. And a Porsche…..and a home in every European country….and he takes me places…..and he’s sweet to me!

Chandler - I bet he never had barnyard animals living with him!

Monica - No, you’ve got him there.

CREDITS

Teaser

Scene - Restaurant

(Monica, who’s serving a customer)

Monica - There you go.

Lloyd - Thanks. Here’s the check for $49.

Monica - here’s the receipt.

Lloyd - And now’s when I ask you to marry me.

Monica - Ha ha.

Lloyd - I’m serious. I’ve come to this restaurant every day, and ordered a steak. I’m a vegetarian. Marry me.

Monica - No. I….can’t go out with customers……Ummm…….company policy?

Lloyd - I’ll ask your parents. What’s their phone number?

Pete - Hi, honey!

Lloyd - What do you think you’re doing?

Pete - I’m kissing my girlfriend.

Lloyd - your girlfriend? She’s my fiancee!

Pete - Monica? What does he mean?

Lloyd - We’re getting married next month.

Pete - Monica?

Monica - Pete….Lloyd…

Chandler - Pete, there’s something I need to tell you. Monica and I kissed. I love her and she loves me. We want to be togehter.

Pete - Monica?

Lloyd - What about us?

Chandler - Tell them both the truth, Mon, darling!

Scene - Monica’s Bedroom

(Monica)

Monica - Oh my God!

The End

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