Friends

A script by BSW

The One Where The Secret Slips

Scene - Girls’ Apartment

(Monica)

Monica - Sure, I understand……Of course your meeting should come first!……Phone me tonight, yeah? We’ll arrange something for tomorrow night…….Bye….Love you……Bye!

Rachel - Who was on the phone?

Monica - Pete. He’s cancelled our date tonight.

Rachel - I’m sorry.

Monica - It doesn’t matter. How do you fancy a girls night in?

Rachel - Sure. We could celebrate my promotion!

Monica - Shall I buy the drinks?

Rachel - I don’t really feel like getting drunk.

Monica - OK. I’ll call Phoebe and check with her.

Rachel - Sure. It’ll be fun!

Credits

Scene - Central Perk

(Ross and Chandler)

Ross - I can’t believe Joey wimped out!

Chandler - Yeah, well, you wimped out a million times with Rachel.

Ross - That’s different. I loved Rachel. Joey doesn’t love Heather.

Chandler - Loved? That’s a joke!

Ross - I don’t want to talk about her. We’re finished. We’re friends. That’s all.

Chandler - Maybe, maybe not.

Rachel - Hi, guys!

Ross - Hi, Rach.

Chandler - How was work yesterday?

Rachel - Great. Ross, you remember Sophie, right?

Ross - Yeah.

Rachel - She’s been hired as my personal coffee maker!

Chandler - OK, is Sophie a percolator, or a human?

Ross - That’s really great! I’m glad that you’re finally happy with your job.

Rachel - Well, it’s getting better. Joanna called me last night!

Ross - Who’s Joanna?

Chandler - You must have met Joanna! She’s the one that I had a thing with!

Ross - You mean there was someone other than Janice?

Chandler - Thanks, bud!

Rachel - Anyway, Joanna asked me to go and see her tomorrow. Apparently, one of the bosses wants to meet the PRs and discuss our work. Joanna’s gonna help me out!

Ross - Congratulations!

Rachel - I know! It’s great, I’ve shopped there forever and now, I get to meet the bosses!

Scene - Girls’ Apartment

{That evening}

(Monica, Phoebe and Rachel)

Monica - Are you sure you don’t want a drink, Rach? Other than Orange Juice.

Rachel - I’m sure. I shouldn’t really. I’ve got a big day tomorrow!

Phoebe - I’ll have one. It’s two months today since my Grandma died.

Monica - I’m sorry. Here, have this!

Phoebe - Thanks. It’s kinda been a bit sad.

Rachel - Oh, by the way, Phoebe, I got a phone call this morning about those tickets you gave me to go away with Ross. I’ve cancelled them. The money should be back in your bank account soon.

Phoebe - The money’s for you. Keep it.

Rachel - Thanks.

Monica - Phoebe, could you please take the rubbish down to the shoot for me? I can’t leave it here, it makes the place look dirty, and Rachel’s got no idea where the shoot is.

Phoebe - Sure. I’ll be the garbage fairy! (Takes the bag and tip-toes out of the door)

Rachel - The last year’s been quite an interesting one. Apart from the rubbish, I feel almost grown-up!

Monica - It’s not all been bad for you. There’s the job, the promotion, you’ve made up with your parents and you got proposed to!

Rachel - But then there’s breaking up with Ross ,twice, ‘the fear’ and now the baby!

Monica - The what?

Rachel - Nothing?

Monica - You said baby. Are you….are you?

Rachel - Yeah. I am.

Monica - Have you told….

Rachel - No. Please don’t.

Monica - How long have you….

Rachel - I’m eight weeks. I’ve known for three.

Monica - Have you told anyone?

Rachel - Yeah.

Monica - Who?

Rachel - Sophie from work, you and….

Monica - And…..?

Rachel - Chandler.

Monica - What??? You’re carrying my brother’s child, and you tell Chandler? Why not me?

Rachel - I couldn’t. Just like I can’t tell Ross or my parents!

Monica - So you thought you could tell Chandler? God, Rachel!

Rachel - I guess I really know how to stuff my life up, don’t I?

Monica - You sure do. Are you and Ross….do you want you two to get….?

Rachel - No. We’re finished. It’s not fair to expect him to come back to me.

Monica - Phoebe, could you go to see the guys for a minute?

Phoebe - Sure. My name’s Cinderella.

Rachel - Please, Pheebs.

Phoebe - OK.

Monica - When are you gonna tell Ross?

Rachel - I don’t know. How can I?

Monica - You can’t not tell him. He needs to know.

Rachel - I know. I will tell him, just not right now. Please don’t tell him.

Monica - He’s my brother!

Rachel - I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I’ll tell him. I just need to find the right time. I have tried.

Monica - God, Rachel. What a mess!

Rachel - I know.

Monica - I’ll help you through it.

Chandler - Rach? Have you?

Monica - I know. I’m mad at you for not telling me.

Rachel - I’ll go then, we don’t need a fight.

Monica - You are so much in trouble!

Commercial Break

Scene - Guys’ Apartment

(Joey and Phoebe)

Phoebe - So what do you say next time?

Joey - It’s over.

Phoebe - And if she asks for sex?

Joey - Mmmmm…..

Phoebe - No!

Joey - Right! I say no! No’s easy!

Phoebe - But yes is so much…..

Joey/ Phoebe - …. better!

Phoebe - But no is so good! No means you’re rid of her!

Joey - But yes means I’m still with her.

Phoebe - So what are you gonna tell her?

Joey - It’s over. Then no!

Phoebe - See? I’m multi-functional! I can help Joey and Chandler!

Joey - Thanks, Pheebs.

Scene - Girls’ Apartment

{Continued from earlier}

(Monica and Chandler)

Monica - Why didn’t you tell anyone?

Chandler - She asked me not to!

Monica - God! You are so infuriating!

Chandler - Why are you so angry with me, Monica?

Monica - Ross and Rachel had a fight because he thought….we all did…..that you two were together!

Chandler - That’s not my fault!

Monica - Yes, it is. You could have told me why you two were together.

Chandler - Why does it bother you so much? unless you’re jealous!

Monica - Jealous? Why would I be jealous?

Chandler - The same reason that I felt like that when you’re with Richard, or Pete.

Monica - Are you saying….?

Chandler - We have feelings for each other, don’t we?

Monica - You are unbelievable!

Chandler - Thank you.

Monica - Do you really think I love you?

Chandler - Yes.

Scene - Corridor Between Apartments

(Rachel is sat on the step)

Ross - Hey!

Rachel - Yeah.

Ross - What’s up?

Rachel - Nothing.

Ross - OK, we all know that when you say nothing, it’s serious. What’s happened? Has your discount at work been reduced?

Rachel - Is that what you, of all people, really think of me? You know me more than anyone else and you think I’m that shallow?

Ross - No, of course not. I was joking.

Rachel - Well, maybe you should leave that to Chandler!

Ross - Maybe I should. Are you gonna tell me what’s up?

Rachel - The ceiling. That’s all.

Ross - Ha ha. I think you should leave it, too.

Rachel - I’m not gonna tell you.

Ross - Then I can’t help you!

Rachel - For God’s sake Ross! We’re not together anymore. I don’t have to tell you everything!

Ross - I’m sorry. Why are you so angry?

Rachel - I don’t know. Hug me.

Ross - What?

Rachel - Please. I need you.

Chandler - Excuse me!

Scene - Guys’ Apartment

(Joey and Phoebe)

Joey - Hey, man!

Phoebe - Hi, bing-a-ling!

Scene - Girls’ Apartment (Kitchen)

{Next morning}

(Ross, Joey and Phoebe are eating breakfast. Monica is out on the balcony)

Ross - Phoebe, do you know what’s wrong with Monica?

Phoebe - No, she won’t tell me.

Joey - There’s something up with Chandler, too.

Ross - Rachel was upset last night as well. What the hell went on?

Phoebe - I’ll find out later and tell you all.

Ross - How are you this morning?

Rachel - Better, thanks to you. Thank you so much for doing that.

Ross - That’s all right. Anytime.

Joey - Isn’t today your big meeting?

Rachel - Yeah, and I’m totally ready for it… or something that doesn’t sound like I’m about to sit my SATS!

Ross - Well, good luck!

Rachel - Thank you again, Ross. Where’s Mon?

Phoebe - Out on the balcony. She’s been there since six thirty.

Ross - She hasn’t been like this since she broke up with Richard.

Rachel - I’ll talk to her about it later.

Joey - You know what’s up with her?

Rachel - Mmmmm, yes. But I can’t tell you guys yet.

Ross - Come on.

Rachel - No. I mean it. I’m going to work now.

Phoebe - Can I sing you all my new song?

Joey - Sure.

Phoebe - Monica? Could you come and listen to my new song?

Monica - Sure. Just a sec.

Phoebe - OK. Here it goes….. A chicken on a spit,

A transvestite,

A gang and

A couple making out.

These are the things that I saw

When I came walking here.

So, what do you think?

Monica - Great, Phoebe.

Ross - Interesting is the word that springs to mind.

Joey - Well I liked it!

Scene - Monica’s Room

(Monica is sat on the bed)

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