Friends
A Script By BSW
The One Without Heartbreak
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Joey and Heather)
Heather - So I’ll see you tomorrow, right?
Joey - Yeah, sure.
Heather - Are you trying to blow me off?
Joey - No! What made you think that?
Heather - It’s just that you’ve been acting very cool towards me.
Joey - Nothing’s wrong.
Heather - You haven’t been talking to Ross, have you?
Joey - No.
Heather - Good. I’m going now. I’m so sorry that your twin brother died, Joey.
Joey - It’s just a shame that I have to miss our date tonight.
Heather - Of course! I mean, you have to go to his funeral. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Joey - Bye ,bye!
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Ross, Monica and Chandler)
Joey - OK, I’m running out of relatives fast! Who can die tomorrow?
Chandler - She’s still not believing all that, is she?
Joey - Yeah.
Ross - If you hate her so much, why not just dump her?
Joey - I don’t hate her, I just don’t love her. It’s simple.
Monica - Why don’t you want to be with her, then?
Joey - I think she’s expecting us to get married!
Ross - No, that’s not it.
Joey - She’s been making me say I love her, and she’s been looking at holiday brochures. What else would she want?
Monica - A holiday?
Credits
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
{Continued}
Chandler - Ross, did last night help?
Ross - Oh, yeah.
Rachel - Hi, Monica! Hi, Joey and Chandler!
Ross - Hello!
Rachel - Hmm.
Ross - Can we talk please, privately?
Rachel - I guess.
Ross - First of all, I’m sorry about yesterday. I was a complete and utter jerk.
Rachel - No arguments.
Ross - The reason that I was like that is because I wanted to believe that you were trying to hurt me, to get back at me. Chandler would have been a good way to do that to me.
Rachel - But Chandler’s one of my best friends!
Ross - I know. I also thought that you and I had a chance. I still thought that you and I would get back together. I was hanging on to what little I had. I’m sorry for that. But, I think I’m over that. Over us. I feel I can carry on without you as my lover. Yesterday made me see sense.
Rachel - Why are you telling me this?
Ross - Like you said that night when you were drunk, I am over you. But I mean it. I want us to go back to being best friends. OK?
Rachel - I guess.
Ross - I’ve gotta go!
Joey - Bye, Ross!
Monica - Are you OK?
Rachel - Ouch. That hurt.
Chandler - But that’s good, right? He’s over you. He can carry on. So can you.
Rachel - But I don’t think I can. I’m not over him yet. He was a major part
of my life, but he doesn’t want me anymore. I’m going to work now.
Joey - Bye, Rachel.
Monica - Call me when you’re there. We’ll have a chat.
Rachel - Bye.
Scene - Bloomingdales
(Rachel and Sophie)
Rachel - So it’s good, but it’s bad.
Sophie - I thought you guys had broken up and moved on.
Rachel - So did I, but I guess I liked him being hung up on me. It’s like the first time since we’ve known each other that he’s not in love with me.
Sophie - Well, at least it’s a break. There’s no feeling from him for you. That’ll make it easier.
Rachel - But it’s not a break. There will never be a break.
Sophie - What do you mean?
Rachel - Well…OK. Promise you’ll keep it a secret.
Sophie - Of course.
Rachel - I’m pregnant.
Sophie - Wow. Is it… is it…?
Rachel - Yes, it’s Ross’. Why does everyone ask me that?
Sophie - I’m sorry. I guess that kinda messes everything up, doesn’t it?
Rachel - Yup. I’ll never be separate from Ross and I’m spending every minute at work researching into pregnancy.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Chandler and Joey)
Chandler - OK. But only once and you never tell anyone!
Joey - OK. Thanks, bud!
Chandler - So? Are you gonna start?
Joey - OK. Ummm. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what I want out of our relationship. I think it’s pretty clear what you want, but I’m not ready. I’m 29 and I’m not ready for that kind of partnership. I know you’ll be upset, but I can’t be with you if that’s what you want. I…I think we should break up. Do you agree?
Chandler - Well…..
Joey - I mean it. Our relationship is not going to extend to that. I’m sorry.
Ross - It’s a shame. I think you two are made for each other!
Chandler - No! It’s not like that!
Ross - Uh-huh.
Joey - Chandler was helping me rehearse.
Ross - Did you get that part you auditioned for the other day? That’s great!
Joey - No. I was practising how I would break up with Heather.
Ross - Oh. Anyway, I was just wondering if you two wanna do what we did last night?
Chandler - I’m sorry. I have to work on this big project.
Joey - I can’t believe that you’d prefer to stay in and work that go to the hottest stripping club in the city!
Ross - Come on, guys! It helped me last night. Don’t you want to help me tonight?
Joey - Man, I’m there!
Ross - Good. Chandler?
Chandler - No, thanks. But if you do see Candii, could you tell her I’m sorry that I spilt my drink on her? It’s just that I could see her boobies….they frightened me!
Ross - OK. Joey, I’m just gonna pop across the hall for a second. I’ll come back in about five minutes. Get ready!
Commercial Break
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Monica and Rachel)
Monica - So you’re gonna stay at home tonight, working on that stupid project?
Rachel - Yeah! I’ve got to hand this to Joanna next week!
Monica - OK! If you’re sure. It won’t be the same without you.
Rachel - Go on! Phoebe and you will have a great time at the cinema. Don’t worry about me.
Ross - Hi, Rachel. Monica, you know that offer you made me last week? Do you think I could take you up on it?
Monica - Yeah, sure. I’ll ask around at work.
Rachel - What offer?
Monica - Oh, nothing. It doesn’t matter.
Ross - Monica’s gonna set me up on a date. Anyway, I’ve got to go now! Jo and I are going to see some strippers!
Monica - Are you OK with that, honey?
Rachel - Why shouldn’t I be?
Monica - Well, I know you’re not over him, and I’m gonna be responsible for him going on dates!
Rachel - It’s fine, OK? Go! Phoebe will be waiting.
Monica - Fine. Thanks. Bye.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
{Time Lapse}
(Chandler)
Chandler - Hey. Oh, what’s up?
Rachel - Need you ask?
Chandler - I know it’s hard to see Ross with other women, but don’t you think it’d be easier on you if you told him about your baby?
Rachel - Probably. I don’t know.
Chandler - Have you told your parents yet?
Rachel - Ummm, no.
Chandler - Well, when are you going to tell them? And the guys.
Rachel - Oh, god. I have to tell Monica. How can I tell her?
Chandler - Well, you’ve gotta some time.
Rachel - She won’t want me living there with a baby. I’m six weeks pregnant. That leaves me with another 34 weeks to find somewhere to live.
Chandler - You need to tell Ross.
Rachel - I know. I was afraid you were gonna say that.
Scene - Central Perk
(all the gang)
Phoebe - The movie last night was great!
Monica - Yeah, you lot really missed out.
Ross - We didn’t. Oh, Chandler, I told Candii what you said.
Chandler - And?
Joey - And she said you were a loser.
Chandler - Thanks, buddy!
Rachel - I don’t see why you guys are all so obsessed with seeing women strip!
Ross - It’s naked ladies. We’re single. If you’re single, there’s no law saying you can’t see more than one naked woman at a time!
Rachel - It’s disgusting and degrading!
Joey - So?
Rachel - Huh.
Ross - What’s up with you, anyway?
Rachel - Well, I spent a great night finishing off the project.
Chandler - Yeah, me too.
Monica - Does this mean that you’ve done it well?
Rachel - yes, Mom. As much as I hate the thought of working in maternity for the rest of my life, at least I’ll have a pay rise. That’ll come in handy!
Ross - Why?
Rachel - Ummm…
Chandler - Because the tax will go up next year!
Joey - Damn! Oh, wait a minute, I don’t pay tax!
Monica - Anyway, who’s for another coffee?
Rachel - I’d love to, but I need to go hand in the work.
Ross - On a Sunday?
Phoebe - Yeah, are you giving it to God for a pagan sacrifice, like my friend Amelia?
Rachel - No. Joanna needs to take it to the meeting on Monday.
Chandler - I’ll go with you!
Monica - Coffee?
Ross - No, not for me. I need to go now.
Joey - Why?
Ross - I’ve gotta get out of here.
Phoebe - You should tell her.
Ross - Tell who what?
Phoebe - You know.
Ross - Yeah, I guess I do. Bye.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Joey and Heather)
Joey - I know what you’re thinking.
Heather - Oh?
Joey - You want me to ask you a certain question, don’t you?
Heather - Well….
Joey - I’m not gonna ask it. I’m not ready.
Heather - What do you mean?
Joey - I’m not ready for such a big step. Marriage is such a big thing!
Heather - Woah. Marriage?
Joey - Yeah, you’ve been hinting for ages.
Heather - No. I don’t want to marry you.
Joey - I know you’ll take this hard and you’ll feel embarrassed, but it’s not that bad. I’m kinda flattered.
Heather - I never wanted to marry you, Joey.
Joey - You didn’t?
Heather - No. I know this must be embarrassing for you, but…
Joey - I’m sorry, it’s just that…
Heather - I’m gonna go now.
Joey - Don’t. Please. Let’s talk!
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Monica, Chandler and Phoebe)
Joey - That was the best break-up I’ve ever caused!
Monica - She took it all right?
Joey - Well, we never quite got to the ‘it’s over’ part.
Phoebe - Oh yeah, I love that kind of break-up! Breaking up is the best turn on!
Chandler - You slept with her?
Joey - Thrice.
Monica - Where did you learn a word like that?
Joey - The TV Guide. The newest star of Baywatch, thrice married actress Delilah Mongol..
Chandler - She is so hot!
Joey - I know!
Ross - …really?
Rachel - Uh-huh!
Ross - Wow. That’s great!
Rachel - You’re never gonna believe this!
Monica - What?
Rachel - I did so well on that project, Joanna’s suggested I apply for the role of Public Relations Assistant! That means more pay and more power! I’ll have a person whose job is to make me coffee!
Phoebe - Wow. That’s great!
Credits
Teaser
Scene - An office at Bloomingdales
(Rachel)
Rachel - Hi, Sophie. How may I help you?
Sophie - I was just….
Rachel - …Please, sit down.
Sophie - No thanks. I was just wondering what sort of coffee you want?
Rachel - What?
Sophie - Joanna decided that we were such a good team that I should spend my life making coffee for you.
Rachel - I’m sorry. For me, it’s great, but for you, I’m sorry!
Opinions? Questions? Comments?
E-mail me at Rachel4Ross@btinternet.com