Friends
A Script By BSW
The One Where Dream Hope Tigerlilly is Saved
Scene - Central Perk
(Monica, Chandler and Joey)
Joey - ….And so I said ‘That’s only how the writer saw it!’
Chandler - And so I said ‘That has to be the most boring story ever!’
Monica - Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe - Hey, guys! Guess what I just got?
Joey - Oh. I like this game! Chicken Pox?
Phoebe - No.
Chandler - A brain transplant for Joey? ‘Cause those things are expensive.
Phoebe - No. I just rescued this cute little guinea-pig from a science lab.
Monica - Oh, that is so sweet! What’s it’s name?
Phoebe -
Joey - How can you remember that?
Phoebe - Because it’s right here on it’s butt.
Chandler - So what will you call it?
Phoebe - I don’t know.
Joey - How about Rapunzel?
Monica - Joey? I had a doll named that when I was like seven!
Phoebe - I was thinking about Dream Hope Tigerlilly.
Chandler - You see? I had a doll named that when I was 28!
Credits
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Monica, Rachel and Phoebe. Oh, and DHT is still in the cage)
Phoebe - Are you OK, Rachel?
Monica - If it makes you feel any better, Ross is in an even worse state than you?
Rachel - Thanks, but that makes it worse.
Phoebe - Why?
Rachel - Because now, I know I’ve hurt him, too. I’m going back to my bedroom now.
Monica - But you’ve only had a black coffee. Try and eat some toast.
Rachel - Monica, you sounded exactly like your mother then!
Monica - OK, don’t eat any breakfast. Have some chocolate later.
Rachel - Bye.
Phoebe - Has she been like this all the time?
Monica - No. That was the first time she’d been out of her room since we moved her bed back in.
Phoebe - I guess she’s taking it hard.
Monica - What do you expect? Those two were living together!
Phoebe - Yeah. Is Ross as bad as you say he is?
Monica - Worse. He actually invited me, Mom and Dad around for dinner tonight.
Phoebe - Are you going?
Monica - Yeah. Why?
Phoebe - Won’t that be a problem for Rachel?
Monica - I guess I didn’t think of that. Is this what my life will be like from now on? Being told I sound like my mother, having no boyfriend, having my best friend and my brother argue and getting breakfast for the entire neighborhood?
Phoebe - Yup. I’d better go now, anyway. I want to give Dream Hope Tigerlilly a bath. It’s so cool, living with someone. Since my Grandma died, I’ve been kinda lonely. (She hugs Monica)
Scene - Ross’ Apartment
(Ross)
Chandler - Hey, Buddy! We were worried about you!
Ross - There was no need. I’m fine.
Joey - But Monica said that you cried earlier at the mention of Rachel’s name.
Chandler - Nice one, Joe.
Ross - I’m fine, guys. I was a little sad earlier, but I’m OK now. I’m even getting ready for dinner with my parents.
Chandler - Do they know yet?
Ross - No. Tonight’s the night they find out.
Joey - Do you wanna come around to our place tomorrow? We could play a little foosball?
Ross - Thanks, guys but I’ll be fine!
Scene - Girls’ apartment
(Monica)(She’s just putting on the final touches to have dinner with Ross and her parents)
Monica - Hello?
Voice - Hi, Monica.
Monica - Oh! Pete! How are you?
Pete - Fine. You?
Monica - Good. No one else round here is, but I am.
Pete - What’s happened?
Monica - Too much to go into.
Pete - OK. I was just wondering if you could come round tomorrow evening? There’s something I want to ask you.
Monica - No, I will not go to see you get your face smashed in.
Pete -
Monica - Then I’d be delighted.
Pete - OK. I’ll send a limo round about 7. OK?
Monica - Sure. Fine.
Pete - Bye then. See you tomorrow.
Monica - Bye.
Rachel - Where are you going?
Monica - Nowhere special. Just out.
Rachel - OK. Have fun.
Monica - Bye, honey.
Scene - Guys’ apartment
(Chandler and Joey)
Chandler - Can you believe how upset he is?
Joey - I know, I mean it’s only a girl. Girls should never get between friends.
Chandler - Whilst you’re on this subject, I need to talk to you about something….
Joey - What? If it’s about your new pants, I didn’t go anywhere near them with bleach.
Chandler - No, but now I want to talk about that.
Joey - What did you want?
Chandler - It’s about Yasmine and Chuck. I think they’re kinda depressed.
Joey - Don’t be silly. They’re animals, they can’t get depressed.
(They come waddling in to the living area, look around, and then go back to the bathroom)
Joey - OK, maybe we should take them to the Vet.
Scene - Phoebe’s House
(Phoebe and DHT)
Phoebe - Hello, girl. How are you? I’m your Mummy Phoebe. Do you have enough lettuce? It’s just as well that you don’t eat meat, because I hate it. Are you listening? Do you believe in Karma? Of course you don’t, you’re a guinea-pig. No one’s ever told you about Karma. OK, it’s like….
Commercial Break
Scene - Ross’ Apartment
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller, Monica and Ross)
Mrs. - So, Monica, have you had any more middle aged boyfriends since we last saw you?
Monica - No. But I did get a call from Pete just before I left.
Ross - Really? What did he want?
Monica - I’ll tell you later.
Mr. - Ross, where’s Rachel? She could at least have come home from work on time to eat with us.
Ross - Uh, Mom, Dad?
Mrs. - Yes, where is she?
Monica - For Pete’s sake! Will you please let Ross answer your question?
Mrs. - Of course, honey. Ross?
Ross - This isn’t easy, but Rachel’s kinda… Um….she’s kinda left me.
Mr. - She’s what? I thought you two were finally getting your act together?
Ross - So did I, Dad. She doesn’t think she can trust me any more.
Mrs. - Why ever not?
Ross - Well, before, when we broke up, it was because I’d…..cheated on her.
Mrs. - So? That’s not a good enough reason to break up with someone as wonderful as you.
Mr. - How long ago did this happen?
Ross - A few days.
Mrs. -
Monica - Yes, Mom. She’s my best friend.
Mrs. - Your best friend wouldn’t break your poor brother’s heart.
Scene - Girls’ apartment
(Rachel, Chandler and Joey)
Rachel - I’m fine, really, guys.
Joey - Well, we’re bored, so we figured we’d come and keep you company.
Rachel - Thanks. I think. How is he?
Chandler - Who?
Rachel - We both know.
Chandler - He’s OK. Well, really he’s not so good. He’s actually telling his parents just about now that you’ve left him.
Joey - Yeah. Monica’s helping him. Oops!
Rachel - Monica’s with Ross this evening?
Chandler - Maybe she’s not. We could be mistaken. We’re stupid.
Rachel - Relax. I’m fine with it. I just wish she hadn’t thought that she’d have to lie about it.
Joey - OK. What shall we do?
Chandler - I don’t know. Pizza takeaway?
Rachel - Sounds good.
Scene - Ross’ Apartment
(Mr. +Mrs. Geller, Ross and Monica)
Mrs. - Goodbye, Darlings.
Monica - Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
Mr. - Bye, honey. Cheer up, Ross. Back tot he single life for you.
Mrs. - It can’t be too bad, I mean your sister’s managing.
Monica - Thanks!
Ross - I’m sorry about what she was saying.
Monica - Don’t be. It’s not your fault.
Ross - Thanks for coming over tonight.
Monica - That’s all right. You did the same for me after Richard. I owe you several.
Ross - Still, thanks. This week hasn’t been the easiest one.
Monica - For us, it never is.
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
{Next Day}
(Monica and Rachel)
Rachel - So, how did dinner with your parents go last night?
Monica - Fine.
Rachel - Did Ross tell them about us?
Monica - Yup.
Rachel - Joey told me.
Monica - I’m sorry, it’s just….
Rachel - It’s fine. I’m just upset that you didn’t feel you could tell me the truth.
Monica - With you and Ross fighting, it’s not easy for any of us lot. By the way, he’s gonna try and brave it over here this morning. Be careful about what you say, won’t you.
Rachel -To tell you the truth, I don’t think I can face him right now. I might pop out before he comes over.
Monica - If that’s what you think…
Rachel - Yeah, but first, I think I’m, gonna be sick! It must have been the pizzas we had last night!
Monica - Are you OK?
Rachel - Mmmmm.
Monica - I could call the doctor if you think you’re ill.
Rachel - No. I’ll just be a minute.
(Monica goes over to it and presses the button)
Monica - Hello?
Voice of Ross - Hi, it’s me. Can I come up?
Monica - Sure. Of course. (Presses the other button)
Rachel - Was that him?
Monica - Yeah. He’s just coming up.
Rachel - (Putting on her jacket) I’m gonna go for some coffee.
Monica - I don’t want you to feel I’m pushing you out.
Rachel - I don’t. Bye.
Scene - Corridor outside apartments
(Rachel and Ross)(She’s come out of the door just as he turns the corner just after the steps)
Rachel - Oh. Hi.
Ross - Hi.
Rachel - So, how are you?
Ross - Lousy. You?
Rachel - Ill. I think I ate some bad pizza last night.
Ross - Oh. I’m just coming to see Monica.
Rachel - I know.
Ross - Bye then. See you round.
Rachel - Yeah.
(They swap positions and just before he reaches the door, Ross turns round)
Ross - Rachel?
Rachel - Yeah?
Ross - Nothing.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Chandler and Joey)
Joey - can you believe that Quack?
Chandler - I know. How could he suggest that we sent them to a farm?
Joey - They’re much happier here.
Chandler - Yeah. Besides, what would our lives be like without them?
[Flashbacks to the sofa monsters. i.e. Them on the sofas, not moving]
Joey - OK. Maybe we should consider getting rid of them.
Chandler - Maybe.
Joey - Hello?…..Oh, hi Pheebs!…..Yeah, that happened to us, too……..OK, you can’t get them out of the machine yourself. You’ve just gotta wait for them to leave of their own free will……OK. Bye!
Chandler - Dream stuck in the video machine?
Joey - Yeah.
Credits
Teaser
Scene - Posh Restaurant
(Monica and Pete)
Monica - I really don’t know why I was surprised. You are the guy that took me to Italy.
Pete - Nice to know that I’m the only one.
Monica - Thanks. I really appreciate this.
Pete - There’s no need.
Monica - Yes, there is. It’s not every day that you get taken to China for an all American meal.
Pete - Well, they do killer Cheeseburgers.
The End
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