Friends
A Script by BSW
The One Where Friends Make Up
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Phoebe, Chandler and Joey)
Chandler - Are those two still at it?
Ross - Yeah. I left after Rachel told Monica that she was starting to look chubby!
Joey - Ouch!
Phoebe - I know. It is so sad that they are fighting! They’ve only got a couple of weeks before they get split up. They shouldn’t be fighting over a man!
Ross - Hello? I am in the room!
Phoebe - Sorry. I wasn’t talking about you, just guys in general.
Chandler - Thanks for that!
Joey - I know what she means, Chandler. It’s like we wouldn’t fight over a girl just ‘cause she mentioned my name whilst making out with you, would we?
Ross - That has nothing to do with this!
[Voice of Rachel] - Look, I’m moving in with your brother. Why can’t you be happy?
[Voice of Monica] - You don’t understand, do you?
Joey - It’s too quiet. I’m worried!
Ross - Oh my god!
Credits
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Rachel and Monica)
Rachel - Oops.
Monica - Why did you do that?
Rachel - I don’t know. I just…
Ross - What’s happened?
Monica - Rachel threw a vase on the floor!
Chandler - You’re bleeding!
Monica -
Joey - No, it’s blood.
Phoebe - It looks kinda deep. We’d better get you to the hospital.
Monica - OK.
Ross - Are you OK?
Rachel - Yeah, I think so.
Ross - I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.
Rachel - No honey. Most of the stuff is about high school.
Ross - Well, now they’ve gone, shall we go into your room?
Rachel - No.
Ross - Wouldn’t you feel kinda strange doing it on the sofa?
Rachel - I didn’t mean that. Can’t we just sit and talk for once?
Ross - OK. Sure. Fine.
Scene - Central Perk
(All of the gang)
(Monica and Rachel still aren’t talking)
Phoebe - So, Monica, I guess you’ll be looking for a new roommate.
Monica - I guess.
Joey - Rachel, have you started packing yet?
Rachel - No.
Chandler - OK, guys? This is worse than the divorce, worse than the breakup and way worse than the ski trip.
Ross - Yeah, come on. Talk!
Monica - Whilst we were away, Pete asked me out again.
Phoebe - What did you say?
Joey - I hope you told him no.
Chandler - Why?
Joey - ‘Cause after that fight, he’ll never be able to have kids!
Monica - I said maybe.
Rachel - Typical!
Monica - What’s that meant to mean?
Rachel - I just meant that you never take risks.
Monica - Well maybe that’s the way I like things.
Ross - Will you two please stop arguing?
Phoebe - Yeah. I bet you don’t even know what started all this. I bet you don’t know what you’re fighting about?
Rachel - I do. It’s because a certain person is jealous that I’m happy. That I’ve found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. That my life’s moving on.
Chandler - OK, so maybe you do know. Monica, what are you fighting about?
Monica - I’m angry with her because she took my first boyfriend from me in Junior High. She slept with the boy she knew I liked. She took Van Damme and now, she’s stealing my brother.
Rachel - Woah, woah, woah! What do you mean, I’m stealing your brother?
Ross - What makes you think that?
Monica - ‘Cause you’re gonna live together, leaving me on my own. I’ll never get to see either of you.
Rachel - Don’t be silly. Of course you will.
Monica - I’m sorry if I sound silly to you.
Rachel - I didn’t mean it like that….
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
{The next day}
(Rachel, Monica and Joey)
Rachel - What do you mean?
Monica - Come on. I know you knew I liked Billy.
Rachel - I so did not!
Joey - Stop fighting.
Monica - Why should we?
Joey - Phoebe, do something to stop these two fighting!
Phoebe - OK. You two should stop fighting because my Grandma died this morning!
Rachel - Oh my god!
Joey - Yeah, that’s more like it!
Monica - Oh, Pheebs! I’m so sorry!
Phoebe - Yeah, well. She was kinda old, so….
Monica - But she wasn’t your real Grandma. You’ve still got your Mom!
Rachel - Yeah!
Phoebe - So? I lived with her for years. And now, she’s gone. (Cries even louder)
Ross - I can’t believe that you’ve started again! You know how hard it is to stop! (Notices Phoebe crying) What’s happened?
Joey - Phoebe’s Grandma died this morning.
Chandler - Oh! OK, need a cigarette!
Phoebe - No! There will be no smoking from now on. You guys are the only family I have left, OK? You’ve gotta start taking care of yourselves! And that also means no arguing, OK?
All - Yes. OK. Sure.
Joey - I’m so sorry.
Chandler - Yeah, me too.
Phoebe - Well it was kinda quick. But I won’t be able to go home to an empty house tonight. Could I stay here?
Monica - Yeah, of course.
Rachel - You can have my room, Pheebs.
Ross - I guess that means we’ll be at my place tonight!
Rachel - No honey. I’ll sleep on the sofa.
Phoebe - Thanks. I guess I’d better ring Grandma’s boyfriend and tell him. Monica, Rachel, no arguing!
Monica/Rachel - We promise.
Chandler - Wow.
Joey - I know! Rachel’s actually gonna sleep on the sofa!
Commercial Break
Scene - Churchyard
{A few days later}
(All of the gang)(They’ve just been to the funeral and they’re walking back towards the cars.)
Phoebe - Thanks, guys. It meant a lot to me having you all here today.
Joey - That’s all right.
Monica - Yeah, we’ll always be here for you.
Rachel - Ross, I don’t feel so great.
Ross - What’s up?
Rachel - Well for a start, I’ve got ten best friends.
Monica - You’d better lie down when we get back to the apartment.
Rachel - I don’t think I’m gonna make it that far….
Chandler - OK! We’d better get her home. I’ll help you Ross.
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey)
Monica - How’s she feeling?
Phoebe - She’s gonna die, isn’t she? I lose my friend and my Grandma in one week!
Ross - Pheebs, it’s OK. She’s gonna be fine. She cut herself pretty badly with the vase and got an infection. She just didn’t tell anyone!
Joey - Great. We missed Baywatch for this!
Chandler - Uh Joe? Baywatch is gonna start in ten minutes yet!
Joey - Good. Let’s go!
Monica - Well, thank God she’s OK.
Ross - Does that mean that you’ll stop fighting?
Monica - I suppose so.
Ross - Good. That means I only have one fight on my hands.
Phoebe - What do you mean?
Ross - If I tell you guys, you have to promise not to tell Rach. I don’t want her to worry. I can handle it by myself.
Phoebe - OK. We promise.
Monica - What is it?
Ross - Mom and Dad.
Monica - Oh.
Ross - They’re kicking up a fuss because Rachel and I are gonna live together. They think that we should get married.
Monica - Yup. I’ve already had Mom on the phone telling me off for not telling her first. She’s been calling Rachel all sort of names.
Phoebe - But I thought that you’re parents always got on well with Rachel?
Monica - Sure. When she was my friend and was rich.
Ross - Since she moved away from her parents, our parents have not been so friendly.
Monica - Especially when she got involved with their Prince Ross!
Ross - Uh-huh.
Phoebe - So what are you gonna do?
Ross - There’s nothing I can do. Except wait for them to stop. I just don’t want Rachel to know.
Monica - Don’t worry. We won’t tell her.
Ross - Thanks.
Scene - Central Perk
{Next day}
(All of gang)(Rachel has obviously been ill. The gang are busy listening to Ross tell one of his dinosaur stories. But wait a minute! They seem interested!)
Ross - So then, Tommy put his hand on his bony skull and said ‘Hello? Anyone in there, you old Diplodicus!’
Monica - Oh my god!
Chandler - So what did the dinosaur do?
Ross - He fired him!
Phoebe - I cannot believe that you actually work for a dinosaur!
Monica - Pheebs? The dinosaur is his boss!
Phoebe - Yeah, that’s what I said!
Ross - No, we call my boss the dinosaur!
Joey/ Phoebe -
Rachel - Honey, please stop going on about work now.
Ross - Sorry.
Joey - Hey, Rachel? Aren’t you meant to be at work in like ten minutes?
Rachel -
Chandler - Bye to you too, honey bunny!
Monica - Haven’t you got anymore to tell us?
Ross - Well, there is the one about Sheryl and Tony….
Chandler - Oh! I remember this one.
Joey - Tell us!!!
Scene - Bloomingdales
(Rachel and Sophie)
Rachel - I just can’t believe that I’ve only got a week until I move out!
Sophie - Yeah, but you’re moving in with that yummy Ross guy.
Rachel -
Sophie - I’m 25 and I live with my parents. I have no boyfriend. No I don’t!
Rachel - I was there once. Of course, I always had a boyfriend. At 25, it was this guy Barry.
Sophie - What was he like?
Rachel - Picture Ross.
Sophie - Yeah.
Rachel - Now take off a foot in height, add 30 pounds in weight, add a balding patch, take away Ross’ personality and put in a liberal amount of greed. Voila! You have Barry!
Sophie - He sounds like my kid brother’s Orthodontist!
Rachel - And, to top it all off, he was having an affair with my best friend!
Sophie - You mean you had a friend as well as a boyfriend???
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Ross, Monica, Joey and Chandler)
Ross - I cannot believe it!
Monica - Well, that’s what she wants!
Chandler - It isn’t that bad. What’s it called?
Ross - Spring Blossom. This is not gonna happen!
Joey - Come on, it’s only paint. I’d like a pink bedroom.
Chandler - I’m gonna regret this, but WHY?
Joey - ‘Cause that’s what the nursery at home was like!
Monica - Honey, why?
Joey - I have seven sisters. What do you expect???
Rachel - Hey, guys!
All - Hi Rachel, Hi Pheebs!
Phoebe - You are not gonna believe what happened today!
Rachel - Come on then, tell us. I’ve been waiting since we met up!
Phoebe - OK. I went to the reading of my Grandma’s will.
Monica - I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell us?
Phoebe - I tried, but I only remembered this afternoon. Joey was in the shower, Chandler was data whatsit, Monica was at the Diner, Ross was at the museum and Rachel was at Bloomingdales!
Ross - OK. I think we get the hint!
Phoebe - Fine. OK, this is the biggest news ever! I got all of her money!
Rachel - What??? Didn’t you have to share with Ursula?
Phoebe - Nu-huh! ‘Cause Grandma wasn’t our real Grandma, she left her money to me for living with her.
Joey - That’s great!
Ross - So, how much did she leave you? A thousand, fifteen hundred?
Phoebe - That’s right! How did you guess?
Rachel - You got a thousand dollars? I can hear the ding of the cashier’s till as we speak!
Phoebe - No. I got a thousand thousand dollars!
Monica - Wow! That’s a million dollars!
Joey - That’s like a……..lot of money!!!
Phoebe - Uh-huh. According to the lawyer, about five years ago, she won the lottery. She didn’t tell anyone and put it in a bank account.
Ross - Wow!
Chandler - So, what are you gonna do with all that money?
Credits
Teaser
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Monica, Phoebe and Rachel)
Phoebe - What are we gonna do then?
Monica - It’s like your last night of freedom. We’ve got to plan it now.
Rachel - I don’t know. I suppose we just go totally wild!
Phoebe - We could drive to Mexico!
Monica - We could go clubbing and find as many men as possible.
Rachel - After Chloe, I don’t think that that would be very fair!
Monica - Then how about we get totally drunk?
Phoebe - Yeah, come on Rachel! You know how good you are at making drinks up!
Rachel - OK, then. We get drunk.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Ross, Chandler and Joey)
Ross - OK, then. We’re gonna go out for dinner and see what happens.
Joey - Yeah!
Chandler - Sounds great!