Tow the dream (aka Tow the woodpecker part two)

By Anat

(Introduction: this is part two of my first fanfic Tow the woodpecker. If you haven’t read it or have it on your web page, please e mail me at: now, here’s what’s been happening from where we left off: It’s been a week. Rachel, came back with nightmares from spending the night with Phoebe but got over it. Ross was sorted out by the rest of the gang about Chandler and Monica. Speaking on which, Chandler and Monica barely spoke or looked at each other. They’re both shocked and confused at the same time so it’s hard to be around each other. Because they didn’t know what to do, they just left things as they are. Oh, by the way, Joey and Chandler still live at Monica and Rachel’s old apartment, so don’t be confused! Okay, lets get this show on the road!)

{Scene:(opening teaser) The guys place. Ross, Joey and Phoebe are having breakfast. Phoebe has five plates filled with food on them}

ROSS: Are you going to eat all that?

PHOE:(while munching) mmm hmmm!

JOEY: I’m pretty sure that’s a yes.

(Rachel enters)


ALL: Hey!

RACH: Whoa, hold on! Where’s Monica?

JOEY: What are you talking about?
RACH: Well, it’s Saturday morning, 11 am, she’s not polishing the kitchen table and she’s not here either! Where could she be?

PHOE: Maybe she’s still sleeping!

(They all give her a "yhea right!" look)

ROSS: Phoeebs? It’s my sister you’re talking about here!
(Monica enters, looks like a mess, her clothes are wrinkled and her hair’s a mess…)

RACH: Oh my god honey, are you alright? Let me guess, you were out of polish wax, so you went to buy some and you got robbed?

MNCA: No, I just over slept.

RACH: Okay, honey, you usually wake up at seven in the morning on Saturday morning, and when I’m up you’re usually already polishing! Now, you’ve been acting weird all week! Now what’s wrong?

(Chandler walks out of his bedroom, sleepy)
PHOE:(running to the bathroom) Oh my god!

CHAN: Good to know I still have that affect on women…’morning all.

ROSS,RACH & JOEY: Good morning

CHAN: Good morning Monica

MNCA: (not looking at him) good morning. I’m gonna go.

RACH: Where?

MNCA: To sleep. See ya (exits the flat. Phoebe returns to the living room)

JOEY: (to Phoebe) Morning sickness?

PHOE: No, I think it’s the milk…

(Joey and Ross look at each other with horror.)
JOEY & ROSS: Oh my god! (both run to the bathroom).

Opening credits

{Scene: the girls apartment (guys old apartment). Monica is lying on the couch, not sleeping but staring into space. Rachel enters}

RACH: Hi Mon, are you feeling okay?

(gets no response)

RACH: Whoa, look at the size of this stain!

(still no response)

RACH: Okay, you’re freaking me out here! What’s wrong?

MNCA: Nothing, I’m just tired and I want to get some sleep!

RACH: Okay, well I’m going to brunch with Joey and Phoebe. I guess you’re not coming!
MNCA: Good guess. See ya later.

RACH: Bye. Sweet dreams.(exits)
(we see Monica’s eyes closing slowly)
{Scene switches to: A white empty room with a white curtain covering a wall on the back. Suddenly Monica popps in.}
MNCA: What’s going on? Where am I?

{Suddenly, Cuba Gooding Jr. (SAM) appears dressed with a white suit and a white shirt. Audience cheers}.

SAM: Hello there!

MNCA: Who the hell are you?
SAM: My name’s Samuel, but you can call me Sam!

MNCA: All right, Sam, where am I?

SAM: You’re in your dream. You see, this is all a dream. Well it’s a message you’re sub-conscience, that is me, trying to provide you!

MNCA: Yhea, right!

SAM: Oh, so you don’t believe me huh? (Takes a remote control from his pocket) take a look at this! (he presses a button and the white curtain is pulled up. It’s a huge TV set.) It’s great to watch Monday night football!(admitting) okay, and MAYBE some Walker: the Texas ranger.

MNCA: What’s you’re point? What are you trying to show me?

SAM: Oh right! Here (he presses a button. The screen’s showing Monica sleeping on a sofa).

MNCA: Oh my god! I am dreaming!

SAM: Yep!

MNCA: So, what’s the message you’re trying to provide me?

SAM: (confused) huh?

MNCA: The message? Remember? In the dream? Sub-conscience?

SAM: Oh, that! I thought you knew it already! (Monica still looks puzzled)

How about this? (fakes a stupid accent) Hi there! I’m sir quips – a – lot! (She still doesn’t get it) oh boy…okay Monica, see, I can’t tell you the reason literally . You know, it’s a rule. The purpose of this is that when the dream’s over you’ll get the message.

MNCA: What kind of stupid rule’s that?

SAM: (getting defensive) Hi, don’t you mock our rules! (Rachel and Phoebe appears)
MNCA: Guys! It’s so good to see a friendly face around here!
RACH: Actually, we’re not who you think we are. See we’re sub-conscience figures too, only of different people. We’re like your Rachel and Phoebe alter egos sort of speak…

SAM: Ladies, enough with the chit-chat already! We’ve got a message to deliver and less than half hour to do so!

RACH: Oh, all right. Let’s begin, shall we? (points to air. Suddenly this big, weird, machine popps out of no where. Rachel , Phoebe and Sam enter it. Monica remains outside).

MNCA: What’s this?

PHOE: Oh, it drives us to the past in dreams. It’s like the "They live" sun glasses you know? (Monica gives her a "no?!" sign) okay, just hop in!

(Monica does so.) hold on…(they drive at the speed of light. We hear Monica screaming)….

Commercial break

MNCA: Hi Sam, mind slowing down next time? (suddenly notices they’re in a hospital) Hi, what are we doing in a hospital?

RACH: Well, you see….

PHOE: (cutting her off) oh, oh , PLEASE let me answer that! You answered the last time!

RACH: Go ahead. Knock yourself out.

PHOE: (to Monica) well, we’re helping you experience again moments in your past who will help you understand the message! You see, the office (points above) in charge of us, lets us choose our way of trying to pass you the message!

MNCA: Can you stop saying the word "message" already? Just tell me what it is!

SAM: Sorry, no can do!

{Suddenly Monica (and us) sees a younger Chandler and Monica hugged after Monica talked on the phone. (TOW the birth) Monica stares}

SAM: (behind her, to Rachel) God, what did you do? This is supposed to be the second stop!
RACH: No, it was supposed to be the first stop!

SAM: No, the first stop was the stop that I like, remember? Where she’s in a towel! (Rachel nods. Pause.) She can hear me right? (Rachel nods again).

PHOE: Mon?

MNCA: It seems like ages ago! When Ben was born! I remember how I contemplated wanting to have kids, and how upset I was…

RACH: And how your friend Rachel hair was…(Sam and Phoebe stare at her) What?!

SAM: Monica, honey? Let’s go! We’ve got more stops to visit!

Fade out

Fade in

{Scene: The boys place, old girls place. It’s empty. Sam, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe arrive.}

MNCA: So where, or more accurate, when are we?

{suddenly they see Old Monica coming out of the bathroom with a white towel covering her body. Then Chandler enters and he goes over to her. They start talking. We can’t hear what they’re saying, because Rachel and Sam are talking}
SAM: (to Monica) you see, this was SUPPOSED to be our first stop, but SOMEONE messed it up (looks at Rachel).

RACH: Oh, give me a break will you? It was an accident!

SAM: No, you just wanted to see that "Cute" doctor again, didn’t you?

RACH: Did not!

SAM: Did too!

RACH: Did not! (They continue arguing. Suddenly, we can’t hear them anymore. There’s a focus on Monica who’s staring at the young Chandler and Monica from "TOW the flashback". Phoebe approaches her.)

PHOE: Aren’t you sweet? This is when my, let’s call her, "alter ego" moved out right? (Monica nods). Oh, look at the watch I got from your friend Joey’s alter ego (they both look at this disgusting golden watch) Oh my god look at the time! Sam! We don’t have much time, we’re going to have to take the hall of memories!
SAM: You’re right! (to Rachel) See what you caused?

RACH: What I caused? (they start to argue again)

MNCA: (to Phoebe) what’s the hall of memories?

PHOE: Oh, you’ll see! (to everyone) all right people, let’s go!

Commercial break

{Scene: The guys’ apartment (girls’ old apartment). It is NOT part of Monica’s dream. Ross is at the table, reading a newspaper. Chandler enters the living room from his room.)

CHAN: Hi, Ross! Look what I found! (shows Ross a video tape).

ROSS: God, I hope that ain’t "Baywatch". Last night’s marathon really got the most of me…

CHAN: Nope, it’s even better! It’s Mon and Rachel’s old graduation tape.

ROSS: Oh, no, do we have to watch it? Why won’t we just pass?

CHAN: Yhea, right. Like I’m gonna miss my chance of making jokes on old Mr. Kotter here…

{Scene switches to: a white hall. It’s like the room the dream started, only it’sa hall. It has millions of TV screens on every side. The machine stops for a minute.}

SAM: Okay, Monica, we’re gonna drive slowly that you’ll be able to notice the images on the sets while we’re driving through this memory hall. Now, play close attention, so that you’ll understand our point. As soon as you realize it, we’ll be able to talk about it, and then you’ll wake up, understood?

MNCA: Yep. Just one question though. What do you get from all this?

SAM: The satisfaction of seeing you finally happy!

(Monica, Phoebe and Rachel stare at him)
SAM: Okay, and our paychecks….yep, they’ll be showing us the money all right….

RACH: Are you ready sweety? (Monica nods) allright, Sam, let’s go!

{They start driving slowly. We start to see various memories of Monica with Chandler on the TV sets. At the background "The pretneders" "I’ll stand by you" song starts playing. Some of the memories shown: Monica trying to get Chandler in shape, Arguing why Monica won’t be married when she’s 40 (TOW the birth), Monica telling everybody Chandler has a third nipple (TOW Phoebe’s husband), fighting on the beach (TOW At the beach, TOW the Jellyfish), confessing to the gang that he peed on her (TOW the Jellyfish), Monica comforting Chandler, after Joey and Kathy make too much noise (TOW Joey’s new girlfriend), together cuddled (TOW the screamer, TOW the free porn) them almost kissing on TOW the woodpecker (mine) etc.}

{Cut to: The room on which the dream started. They slowly arrive with the machine. They get out and the machine disappears. Monica is finishing processing the memories she witnessed.}


(Monica stares into space)

SAM: Oh, don’t give me that! I mean even Ray Charles or, Stevey Wonder could see it!

MNCA: (slowly smiling) Oh my god! I know now! I’m…..

PHOE, RACH & SAM: (slowly) yes…?

MNCA: Inlove with Chandler!

(The audience cheers. So do Sam, Rachel and Phoebe).

RACH: You finally got it! After all these years of being close friends, how haven’t figured it out yet?

MNCA: Well, I guess inside I always knew it, but I didn’t want to end up like Ross and your (points to Rachel) alter ego Rachel!

SAM: You want to see miserable? I’ll show you miserable!

(He pushes a button on his remote control. It shows how all during the past week Chandler and Monica have been avoiding each other, being depressed and it finally shows current pictures of what they’re doing at the moment: on the left we seeMonica is sleeping and Chandler on the right, is sitting alone on his brown recliner, with a short white t – shirt and boxers)
SAM: Would you look at that? It’s Saturday and this is what you’re doing!

PHOE: Honey, we’ve seen you two together in the future and you look incredible together! Now, you need to wake up and tell him how you feel! Believe me he feels the same way…

RACH & SAM: Oh yes…..

MNCA: Okay, I’m ready. Thanks all, hope to see you again sometime…wish me luck!

ALL: Good luck!

{Scene switches to: The girls’ flat (guys’ old flat). Monica is waking up. It’s evening. She gets up and walks, excited, to the guys’ apartment. She enters without Chandler (who is by himself there) noticing. She looks over his shoulder, that Chandler is watching her on "pause" on the Tape.}

MNCA: Who’s that Sally Strathers? (She smiles). (Chandler QUICKLY gets up and faces her).

CHAN: Mon, what are you doing here?

MNCA: Oh, just providing some people’s paychecks. (He looks puzzled).

(Monica looks at him lovingly for a bit, and then goes and kisses him passionately just like Rachel kissed Ross at the end of "TOW the prom video". They continue to kiss. The camera slowly goes over to the TV screen and we see Monica on the prom video. They’re still kissing. Suddenly, on the screen we see Rachel, Phoebe and Sam)
PHOE, RACH & SAM: Awwwwwww!

Closing credits

(The white room. Sam, Phoebe and Rachel are there).

SAM: Whew, I’m beat!

RACH & PHOE: yhea, me too…

SAM: Guys, I REALLY need your help! Now I’ve got to go to your (points at Rachel) alter ego ex – boyfriend dream, are you two gonna help me?

RACH & PHOE: (together, make excuses) Oh, I can’t, dentist, appointment, wash my hair, sorry (Both run off).

SAM: (shouting) OH, come on! Where are you going? I need all the help I can get with this guy! I need to tell him about him and Rachel and it might take all night! I can’t do all that work by myself! (realizes, to himself) okay, that’s not helping……….


Jump to Part I