The One With The All The Breakups

By: Sarah-Jean and Neesha

Okay, here's fanfic number three. Read and enjoy. It's still copyrighted to our club Coge. Once again, we didn't invent the characters yada yada yada. We still love to get email's. So again email us at rati_and_mnm_coge@hotmail.c= om

[Montage of scenes from last episode. These include Chandler agreeing to marry Monica and Rachel agreeing to marry Ross]

Opening Credits

[setting, Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, Phoebe & Joey are sitting, drinking coffee etc. Ross and Rachel walk in. The gang looks surprised to see them together]

JOEY: So how was last night?

RACH: Umm… well that's what we wanted to talk to you guys about [She and Ross pretend to be all sad]

CHAN: Oh, are you guys alright?

ROSS: oh, we'll be fine. [Ross and Rachel can't keep quite anymore]

RACH: [holds out her hand so you can see a big engagement ring] Look!

[Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Monica gasp and comment]

MNCA: Oh my god guys! That's so great. We can totally have a double wedding.

JOEY: So do I get to be best man for both of you? Oh oh, we can have tow bachelor parties!

ROSS: It's weird - I'm going from single to married. That doesn't happen often.

MNCA: It happens more to you than me.

CHAN: Come on Mon. You can't mean that bitterly! Who else would you *want* to be married to besides me?

JOEY: Who else would she *want* to divorce?

RACH: *Probably* you Joey!

[Monica gets up]

MNCA: Uh, excuse me guys. I think I left my oven on. [she leaves]

JOEY: And where her oven is on, food is bound to be!

[Everyone stands up and begins to leave, talking about how hungry they are]

[Setting in a bridal shop. Rachel, Monica and Phoebe are looking at wedding dresses. Monica looks a bit scared]

[Setting Joey and Chandler's apartment. A bachelor's party is going on]

[Setting Ross's apartment. A bachelor's party is going on]

[Setting Rachel and Monica's apartment. Judy and Monica are fighting over a guest list. Finally it rips in half and they both fall backwards]

[ Setting, in a bakery. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Ross are picking out a wedding cake. They're all fairly enthusiastic except for Monica]

[Setting, Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Ross are watching horror movie but not really paying attention. Ross is looking extremely happy. Rachel is looking mildly content. Chandler has the same look as Rachel and Monica is looking a little upset]

[Setting, Monica's bedroom. Phoebe is doing Monica's hair.]

PHOE: Wow! I can't believe it's finally the big day!

MNCA: [Unenthusiastically] Yeah. I can't believe it.

PHOE:  Come on! Perk up! You only marry once! (Unless your Ross!) [Monica's face falls and she begins to cry] Are you okay?

MNCA: I don't know… No wait, I do know. I'm going away. I'll leave a note for Chandler, Ross and Rachel. You can't say a thing okay?

PHOE: Umm… [Wants to disagree] Fine! [Monica looks happy] But, [Monica's face falls] You have to tell me where your going to be!

MNCA: I think I'm going to go to this spot I went to with Chandler. He'll know where it is, we had a picnic there once.

[Turns and runs out of the room]

PHOE: Okay I guess!

[Setting, Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is looking for something to eat. She sees and envelope and opens it]

RACH: What's this?

MNCA: (Voice Over) Dear Ross, my best friend Rachel and the love of my life Chandler. I don't think I can go through with this. I'm sorry. Guess your fear of commitment rubbed off on me, Chandler. Ross and Rachel, I feel so bad about deserting you guys on your wedding day. Go and get married, be happy. I'll see you in a while. I need to collect my thoughts. I'm sorry Chandler. Please don't come after me though. I need to be alone. We can talk later.  Bye Ross, Rachel and Chandler. Monica. P.S. I love you all. P.P.S. Ross and Rachel, don't not get married because of this. You guys deserve to be happy and together.

[Through the whole scene Rachel was standing still with disbelief. She now runs out of the door, hysterical and in tears]

[Setting, Joey and Chandler's apartment. Ross, Joey and Chandler are just sitting around when Rachel burst in still crying and hysterical. The three guys jump up and Ross goes and hugs Rachel as she sinks great fully in to his arms.]

ROSS: What's wrong Rach? [He strokes her hair trying to calm her down]

RACH: Monica… she left a [bursts into fresh tears and mumbles a word]

ROSS: A NOTE! What note?

[Rachel holds out her hand. Ross grabs the piece of paper from it and reads it. Disbelief spreads over his face. Chandler grabs is from him and reads it. Chandler now starts crying. Joey doesn't get the problem. Finally he takes the paper and reads it. (It takes him a while) He then goes and hugs Chandler. Door opens and Phoebe walks in]

PHOE: How come you guys are crying without me? Did you miss me?

ROSS: Monica… has disappeared. She doesn't want to get married. [Chandler cries harder]

CHAN: What did I do to drive her away from me! I'm sorry Monica! I'm sorry!

PHOE: Oh… that. Um… poor Monica. Um… she must feel really bad.

RACH: You knew about this, didn't you Pheebs? I can tell!

PHOE: Well, she did tell me where she went - in case of an emergency.

RACH: Chandler, you've got to go to her. She's probably tearing her hair out.

CHAN: She said she didn't want me to come looking for her.

RACH: All women do that. That actually means come find me.

CHAN: Okay, I'll go. Where is she Pheebs?

PHOE: She said only to tell if it was an emergency!

CHAN: This *is* an emergency. I need her!

PHOE: Well, okay. She said you'd be able to find her. She's at the place where…

[Setting, a park full of trees. It's raining. Monica is sitting under a tree. Chandler runs up]

MNCA: You had an emergence already?

CHAN: Yeah, I guess you could call it that. *I* called it that.

MNCA: Listen, I'm really sorry. I just couldn't go through with it.

CHAN: I know how you feel. I felt really scared of commitment at first. You don't have to explain.

[Chandler goes and sits by Monica. He puts arm around her. Monica turns towards him and starts crying into his shirt. It doesn't really matter though, because he is already soaked from the rain]

MNCA: I'm sorry I put you through this by proposing.

CHAN: Don't worry about it. I was starting to think about the idea myself. I think getting more scared of Ross than commitment.

MNCA: [Sort of laughing] Scared of mean dinosaur guy!

CHAN: Look, we can put off the wedding for a while. It doesn't half to happen today, or even this year.

MNCA: Oh my god! What's going on between Rachel and Ross.

CHAN: I don't really know. I ran out of there in a hurry.

MNCA: That's so sweet.

[Setting: a phone booth; it's raining outside. CHAN and MNCA are squished inside. MNCA is on the phone, dialing. The screen splits, and you can see RACH talking on her cell phone (she's at the church.)]

RACH: Oh, Monica, how are you? And most importantly, where are you?

MNCA: I'm fine, we got it all worked out. I'm in a phone booth. Rach, I'm sorry to say this, but we're not getting married. At least not now. I'm sorry. I've ruined everything.

RACH: It's okay, Mon. I totally understand. I wish I could be there for you, but I'm walking down the aisle in twenty minutes! By the way, Mon, thank you so much for being so nice . . . you know, saying Ross and I should still get married. Is it - is it okay with you?

MNCA: Don't worry about a thing, honey. It's fine with me. I've wanted the two of you to get married for so long. Please, just do it! Don't give me a second thought! But, Rachel, I need you to do me a big favour. You'll have to tell everyone that we're not getting married.

RACH: I can do that. Are you going to be able to make it?

MNCA: We'll try, Rachel! We'll really try! And in case we don't make it, I send my love. Tell Ross I love him, too!

CHAN: [yelling] I love you, man!

MNCA: Chandler loves you guys too.

RACH: I love you guys too. Thanks again, Monica. I really appreciate what you've done for us.

MNCA: You're welcome to my help any time! See you later.

RACH: Bye, Mon.

MNCA: Bye, honey. [The split screen disappears, going back to just CHAN and MNCA. MNCA turns around and starts kissing CHAN. And what a place - a phone booth!]

[Setting: at the church. RACH whispers something to ROSS at the back of the room, then jogs up the aisle to the altar.]

RACH: Can I get your attention, everyone? [The crowd quiets down.] With all regrets, the other bride and groom have declined to marry on this date.[The crowd gasps, and starts a quiet ruffle of whispers.] I know, I know. Unfortunately, Monica was not ready for this. You'll all have to forgive her. I don't know if she and Chandler will ever get married (they've tried twice now), but that's not any of my business. Fortunately, Chandler and Monica will try to make it here today. Let's all hope that they do. After all, we wouldn't want them to miss their own wedding! [The crowd is silent.] Ahem. Ah, little joke there! [The crowd laughs politely.] Thank you.

[Setting: the phone booth. CHAN and MNCA are still kissing. MNCA pulls away after a second.]

MNCA: Okay, don't you think we should get going?

CHAN: I guess so. [CHAN turns and starts to jiggle the door.]

MNCA: Well? Open the door.

CHAN: Um . . . I can't.

MNCA: *What*? What's wrong with it?

CHAN: It's [he grunts as he tries one last time to open it] stuck.

MNCA: Let me try! [It takes them a while to slide past each other so MNCA is beside the door. MNCA then jiggles the door handle. It doesn't open.]Well what the heck is wrong with it? How did we come to be stuck?

CHAN: I have no idea.[An old lady walks up and raps on the door.]

LADY: Excuse me! Are you finished in there?

MNCA: Uh . . . yes, we're quite finished in here.

LADY: Well would you please open up? It's raining out here and I need to make a call!

CHAN: [nervously] Uh, that's why I'm in here! You know . . . uh, while she made her call? Then I didn't have to stand out there?[LADY bangs on the door.]

LADY: Let me in!

MNCA: [nervously] We, uh, would, but you know that saying! Three's a crowd! Okay, enough of the jokes. We're stuck in here! Would you please get help?

LADY: You're the ones with a phone! Why don't you call the fire department?

CHAN: Good idea![Setting: later on in the phone booth. The lady is still waiting, soaked. The firemen have arrived in their fire truck. They pick the lock on the door and let CHAN and MNCA out.]

MNCA: Come on Chandler! Let's get going! [They break into a run.]

[Setting, the church. Everyone is preparing to watch Rachel walk down the aisle. Chandler and Monica come running in and go and take seats near the front. They're wearing the same clothes as before and are still soaked. Everyone is looking at them funny. Rachel starts to come down the aisle. You can here people whispering stuff like "finally". Rachel reaches the front and kisses her dad on the cheek. She takes Ross's arm and they turn to face the priest guy. We don't know the vows, but anyway they say most of them. Just as they get to the part where Ross says I Ross, take thee Rachel, Emily walks in]

ROSS: I Ross, take thee [takes a deep breath and sees Emily. Ross is shocked] … Emily.

[Everyone gasps in shock. Rachel starts to cry, and Ross finally realizes he did it again. Deja vu! Everyone starts to talk at once. Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe hurry over to Ross and Rachel. Monica and Phoebe talk Rachel's arms and lead her out of the room. Ross can't take his eyes off of Emily. Joey and Chandler turn to see what's happening. They too then mutter "Emily". During this time the audience or whatever they're called are emptying out. Soon it's only Ross, Chandler, Joey and Emily]

CHAN: What are you trying to do Ross? Ruin the best thing that ever happened to you.

ROSS: I didn't mean to. It's just I happened to see her at that crucial moment and I said her name. I feel terrible. How's Rachel doing?

JOEY: Well, while you were staring over at Emily, Rachel started crying and Monica and Phoebe took her somewhere.

ROSS: I've got to go see her. I have to. I need to explain.

CHAN: Well, I'm sure she's waiting for an explanation. Go talk to her. We'll go talk to Emily.

ROSS: Okay, [Heads blindly off towards a wall.]

CHAN: [Watching] I better go help him. You're on your own Joey.

[The camera follows Joey as he walks towards Emily. In the back ground you can see Chandler leading Ross out of the room.]

EMLY: Hey, Joey! How are you?

JOEY: How can you talk like that when you just interrupted and ruined Ross's wedding?

EMLY: Well you see, Rachel did the same at my wedding. I had to get my revenge somehow. If it wasn't for her, I would still be married to Ross.

JOEY: Even *Susan* wouldn't do this to Ross! And she hates his guts! I thought you loved Ross.

EMLY: I do, of course. I didn't marry Colin. I still love Ross!

JOEY: Boy! Even I know that people that love other people don't do this kind of thing to people even if a people they hate is marrying that people they love . . . I'm not making any sense, am I? Anyway, I can't believe even *you* would do such a thing to Ross. [JOEY walks away, shaking his head. EMILY stands forlornly, then rolls her eyes and walks away too to find ROSS.]

[Setting: the church bathroom - it's a big church, okay? RACH is crying her eyes out, PHOE is crying a bit, MNCA is doing her best to comfort them.]

MNCA: You guys, you guys, please calm down. I'm sorry this is happening.

RACH: It's not your fault, it's Ross's. That low-down, double-crossing... ooh!

MNCA: It wasn't really his fault, Rach. It was that stupid Emily's fault by busting in on the wedding. Besides, he didn't mean to say Emily's name. Not like he was thinking about her like he was thinking about you at his other wedding. He was just surprised to see her. That's why he said her name.

RACH: I know. I shouldn't blame him. [bursts into fresh tears] But how could he lead me on like that? Convincing me to marry him, then saying Emily's name. It's just to horrible to think about.

MNCA: I know honey. But don't worry, he didn't mean to. I'm sure he'll be by soon. I am so sorry about this.

PHOE: Me too. [she starts bawling. RACH stops crying for a minute and looks at her funny.]

RACH: Wait-a-minute. Are you upset for *me* or for *you*?

PHOE: I'm not quite sure.[ROSS suddenly bursts in with Chandler following close behind. Before anyone can say anything he runs to RACH and hugs her tight]

MNCA: You're *finally* here.

RACH: [whispering] How could you do this to me? How could you do this to me?

MNCA: It was a mistake!!!!!!

[ROSS shoots MNCA a withering look.]

ROSS: She's right. It was a mistake. I'm sorry.

RACH: This time you can't back out of it by saying we were on a break. In fact, maybe we should take another break.

ROSS: Now it's my turn to say: "We're not even dating!"

RACH: Exactly. I'm sorry Ross. Maybe marriage just isn't the right thing for us.

ROSS: But it is *so* right Rach. You know that. I know that. All our friends know that.

MNCA: [warily] Just marry him, Rachel! If you marry him, he's tied to you. He won't make passes at other women.

[At that, Ross gives MNCA a weird look and RACH looks at MNCA with horror.]

RACH: How can you *say* that Monica?

ROSS: Yeah, how can you?

[RACH turns to ROSS]

RACH: I don't want you to be unhappy; to be *tied* to me. I can't marry you. I *won't* marry you.

ROSS: What are you saying? Do you want to break up?

RACH: I don't know what I want right now, Ross. I'm sorry. Just hold me.

[ROSS hugs RACH tighter.]

[Camera goes to other side of bathroom where MNCA, CHAN and PHOE are talking quietly.]

PHOE: I always said marriage would break up the group.

MNCA: Yeah. Ross and Rachel are furious with me, Rachel is killing Ross for a little pronunciation mistake, and you Pheebs, you Chandler, and Joey might have to take sides. Lord knows with who! I mean, what would you do Chandler? Ross or me? Your best friend or um . . . what am I to you, anyway? I used to be your girlfriend, then fiancée, then girlfriend again, then fiancée, today I was supposed to be your bride. So what am I as I stand here making an idiot of myself by gabbing my face off?

PHOE: Calm down. Blame it on Emily, not yourself, or anyone else.

MNCA: That back-stabbing . . .

PHOE: Don't name call. It's not nice.

MNCA: Sorry.

[Monica now starts to cry, Chandler puts an arm around her comfortingly. Just then Joey bursts in]

JOEY: What are you guys doing in a bathroom? So how are things…

[Stops talking when takes a look around the bathroom. Pheebs is crying, Ross is hugging Rachel and both are crying, Rachel hysterically! Monica's crying as well and is now hugging Chandler. Chandler is rubbing Monica's back as he tries to figure out what to do. They all glance up for a second, then go back to what they were doing.]

JOEY: It's important that I tell you something. I was speaking with Emily and just before I found you guys she was headed in this…

[Gets interrupted as Emily rushes in to the room. They all stare in shock. Rachel steps back from Ross]

EMLY: Ross, I need to talk to you.

[Ross looks over at Monica and Chandler for an answer. They just shrug their shoulders. Ross then looks at Rachel. She's now sitting on the side of the bathtub, Joey on one side, Phoebe on the other, each with an arm around as she cries and mumbles, now starting to look like she's calming down. Making up his mind, he leads Emily out into the hall. Little does he know that this is making everyone in the bathroom more upset]

[Setting, hall out side bathroom. Ross is standing there with Emily]

ROSS: What are you doing here Emily?

EMLY: I came to tell you, I couldn't marry Colin. I'm still in…

ROSS: Don't say it Emily. It's not true. You know that.

EMLY: Your wrong Ross. I do love you. I know you love me too, I can see it in your eyes.

[cuts back to the bathroom for a moment. You can see them all listening at the door. (Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are getting kind of good at this, don't ya think. Only normally it's Rachel and Ross doing the talking) Rachel hears what Emily says and sinks to the floor, so she's now leaning against the door. Then it goes back to Ross and Emily]

ROSS: No, Emily. Your wrong. I don't love you in the way you think. I love you like a friend. Rachel's the one I love truly. She's the one I want to spend my life with.

EMLY: You don't mean that. Look, you couldn't even look me in the eyes when you said that.

ROSS: You realize my friends are listening through the door… don't you? That's why your saying lies like that last one. You want Rachel to hate me, like you do. Your making this all up!

EMLY: That's not true.

[Then before Ross can stop her Emily kisses him passionately, Ross doesn't pull away and even seems to be enjoying it. The gang thinking that Emily's gone after a few seconds of quietness open the door. The camera is focused on Ross and Emily, with the door opening in the background. All of sudden there's a gasp. Ross and Emily pull away from each other and turn to see Rachel, unconscious on the floor with all the friends trying to wake her up. Monica looks up at her big brother with a look of disgust and then turns back to Rachel.]


[Setting, a hospital room, Rachel is lying asleep on the bed with Ross asleep in a chair next to the bed with his hand on Rachel's and his head resting on the edge of the bed as the rest of the gang tiptoes in, whispering. (whoops. Run on sentence!)J]

JOEY: I didn't know it was possible to go into a coma from shock.

CHAN: Actually, normally the shock has to be like witnessing a murder… But then again, I think what Rachel saw almost counts for murder.

[Ross starts to stir. Quickly the gang turn and stumbling head out of the room trying to be quite, but quite unsuccessful]