The One Where They All Get Married

Written by: Guadalupe de la Iglesia

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

- Scene: Monica and Chandler’s Bedroom. Monica is in bed.-

Monica: Chandler! Chandler!

(Chandler enters)

Chandler: :Yes sweetie? What’s wrong? Why do you look so bad? Are you ok? Do you have a headache? What, What’s going on?

Monica: Calm down. It’s just a cold, I’ll be ok.

Chandler: But, you look so terrible, like you can’t even get up.

Monica: What? Of course I can get up....... oooohhhhh....oooohhh...

Chandler: Need a hand?

Monica: Noooo, I CAN’T believe this. On my wedding day, I cannot even get out of my bed. How am I going to walk down the aisle?

Chandler: Ok, ok, don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.

Monica: Something like what?

Chandler: Ok, ok, let’s see... we’ll get married here!

Monica: What? That’s insane!

Chandler: No, no, it’s perfect, here we’ve spent so many beautiful moments together, it means so much to us...

Monica: Honey, you are so sweet I love you so much.

Chandler: And I love you. Ok then, I’ll call the minister and ask the guys to help me bring all the stuff here, I’ll ask the girls to let everyone know, and we’re done!

(they kiss)

- Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are there. -

Rachel: Oh, I’m so happy for Monica and Chandler, they are really meant for each other.

Phoebe: Yeah, I know... I want to get married!!!!!!!!!

Rachel: What, Phoebs, what are you talking about?

Phoebe: I want to get married.

Rachel: But honey, who are you gonna marry?

Phoebe: I don’t care as long as I do so.

Rachel: Well, what can I say? Good luck?

(Ross enters)

Ross: Good luck with what?

Rachel: Phoebe wants to get married.

Ross: Oh, no, Phoebe, marriage is a very important step to take, you really have to think about it, I mean, really, you don’t want to get into something that important, don’t rush things...

Phoebe: Oh come on!! Look who’s talking!

Ross: Ok, don’t come asking for a good divorce counselor afterwards.

Phoebe: I won’t.


- Scene: Monica and Chandler’s. Joey and Chandler are there. -

Chandler: Ok, I have to go now, you are in charge, flowers are gonna be delivered, the minister is coming and Mon’s mom will bring the food.

Joey: Ok, no problem.

Chandler: Thanks man. By Mon!

Monica: (from the bedroom) By honey!

(Joey goes to Monica’s bedroom)

Joey: Well, I’m in charge now. Do you need anything?

Monica: Yeah, the spaceship.

Joey: What? Mon, are you ok?

Monica: Yes, the duck is in the balcony.

Joey: Huh? Mon, you are alucinating!

Monica: No, I took a shower last night...

Joey: Oh my God!

(someone knocks the door)

Joey: Ok, hold on here, I’ll answer the door, I’ll be right back.

Monica: Cuack, cuack, cuack, cuack...

(Joey answers the door, it’s an old guy in a suit)

Suit Guy: Hi I...

Joey: Yeah, yeah, I know, where do I have to sign?

Suit Guy: Oh, I didn’t know you were in such a hurry. But well, ok, here are the papers, I’m going to need the bride to sign too.

Joey: Ok, if you say so...

(goes to the bedroom and comes back)

Joey: Here you go, now leave the flowers in the apartment across the hall.

(the suit guy has a weird face, Joey slams the door)

- Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are there. -

Phoebe: You know what Ross, I think you are the best of the guys.

Ross: Oh, thanks.

Phoebe: Yeah, you are the smartest, and the one with the cool job... the most interesting and plus you are the cutest!

Ross: Well, I have some charm...

Phoebe: You have more than that, you are a God.

Ross: Hehe... thanks, I think you are great too.

Phoebe: You know what? We should get a drink to celebrate the fact that we are the coolest ever.

Ross: Yeah, let’s go.

- Scene: Central Perk. Later, Rachel is there, Chandler enters. -

Chandler: Hey Rach! I need some help, Mon is really sick, so we are having the wedding at the apartment.

Rachel: Oh my God. Why don’t you postpone it?

Chandler: I just, I just... I just can’t wait one more day to be her husband you know...

Rachel: Aaaawwww..... I wish someone loved me that much...

Chandler: Hey, you are gonna find that kind of love, you know?

Rachel: You think?

Chandler: Yeah, totally! I mean, you are an amazing girl, who wouldn’t want you?

Rachel: Well, you don’t..

Chandler: I know, but that’s because I love MO-NI-CA!

Rachel: Yeah, I was kidding.

Chandler: Hehe, ok, come and help me out whenever you can, ok?

Rachel: Yeah, I’ll be right there...

(Chandler leaves)

Rachel: You could be mine if wanted you Chandler Bing... but I don’t...

- Scene: A Bar. Phoebe and Ross are there. -

(Ross is completely drunk)

Ross: Well, I have a great experience in marriages.

Phoebe: Yes, I know and that’s why I think we should get married!

Ross: Hhhhhmmm, ok let’s go!

- Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Tag are there. -

Tag: Hi baby.

Rachel: Hi honey.

(they kiss)

Tag: You are so pretty today.

Rachel: Awww, thanks. You are really cute too.

Tag: Yeah...

Rachel: Tag, do you love me?

Tag: Yes, I do, I love you so much.

Rachel: Then, how come you never said it to me before?

Tag: Well...

Rachel: Oh, you don’t really love me.

Tag: I do, I do, Rach, you have to believe me.

Rachel: Ok, prove it to me.

Tag: Sure, what do I need me to do?

Rachel: Hhmmm... marry me.

Tag: What?!?!?!?!

Rachel: See.. you don’t really love me.

Tag: No, no, I do love you, it’s just that getting married is such a big deal... such a big step to take...

Rachel: But if you loved me you’ll take it.

Tag: Ok, if that’s what you need to know that I really love you, then let’s do it.

Rachel: Oh my God! Let’s go.

Tag: Now?!?!?!

Rachel: Yeah, c’mon.

- Scene: Monica and Chandler’s. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there. -

Rachel and Tag enter)

Rachel: You guys, I have something very important to tell you.

All: What? What is it?.

Rachel: Tag and I are married.

(shows her ring)

All: What?!?!?!

(Phoebe and Ross enter)

Phoebe: Guess who just got married?

Chandler: Yeah, we know, Rach just told us.

Monica: (to Rachel) You said you’ll never still my thunder again!!! Is getting married on my wedding day never?!?!?!

Ross: Noooo, Phoebe and I got married.

All: What?!?!?

(Someone knocks the door. Joey opens, it’s a guy with a LOT of flowers)

Flower Guy: Hi, here are the flowers you ordered, I just need you to sign here.

Joey: What? You are the flower guy? The who was the guy before?

Flower Guy: I don’t know.

Chandler: The minister was coming...

Joey: Ohoh....

Chandler: What? Joey?

Joey: Well, he asked me to sign something and wanted Monica to sign too, so... I thought he was the flower guy!

Chandler: Oh my God!!!! You are married to my fiancée?????

Monica: I am married to Joey???

Joey: Well...

Chandler: I can’t believe this! Everyone is married except me... God I’ll end up being “Crazy Snake Man” after all...

The End