Written by: The Teenage Friends Freak
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
Note: This fanfic takes place after my last one, "The One
Without
The Birthday Party".
Scene: Rachel's bedroom, continued from "The One Without The Birthday Party". Ross and Rachel are getting dressed really quickly, like in "The One With The Jellyfish".
Rachel: Oh god, I can't believe we did that!
Ross: I know!
Rachel: I mean, we haven't been together for almost two years now!
Ross: I know!
Rachel: And how could we let ourselves get so drunk?!
Ross: I know!
Rachel: (puzzled) You mean you know how we let ourselves get so drunk?
Ross: What?
CREDITS
Scene: Rachel's bedroom, continued from earlier. Ross and Rachel have calmed down a bit now.
Ross: So, how do I get out of here? The others are outside and you know what they'll think if they see me coming out of your bedroom.
Rachel: (after thinking for a bit) OK, here's what we do. I'll go out, and when the cost is clear, you can run out, and then come back in as if you'd just arrived.
Ross: OK.
Rachel: Now, you hide, and I'll go out.
Ross: Right. (tries to hide under the bed, however, he almost doesn't fit and keeps getting stuck)
Rachel: Just stand behind the door.
Ross: OK. (he tries to get out from under the bed) Rach?
Rachel: Yes?
Ross: I'm stuck.
Rachel: Ross! Now what are we going to do?
Scene: The girl's apartment. Monica and Chandler are eating lunch.
Chandler: So when are we going to tell the others about the baby?
Monica: I don't know. I think we should wait a while.
Chandler: Fine with me. (Phoebe comes in) Hi Pheebs!
Monica: How's your mom?
Phoebe: She's OK, considering she's broken two arms and a leg.
Monica: So, are you going to go and see her again?
Phoebe: Probably. I'm going to write a "get better soon" song for her.
Chandler: What's it gonna sound like? Sad or happy?
Phoebe: I think happy, y'know? I don't think I'd like to hear a sad song if I couldn't move. By the way, where's Rach?
Monica: I think she's still in her room. She hasn't gotten up yet. She's probably got one hell of a hangover.
Phoebe: Why?
Monica: Look on the balcony and tell me what you see.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh my god! How many bottles are there out there?
Monica: 35.
Phoebe: Why would she drink so much?
Chandler: Could it possibly have anything to do with the fact that only Ross went to her birthday party?
Monica: I'd say that was probably be the most likely reason.
Phoebe: Hey, maybe we could have a surprise party for her!
Monica: That's a really good idea Pheebs. When shall we have it?
Chandler: Let's see, how about when we can all come?
Monica: OK, when's the soonest time that could happen?
Phoebe: Well, I'm going to see my mom on Wednesday, but otherwise I'm free all week.
Monica: Yeah, me too.
Chandler: I have a meeting on Thursday.
Joey: (coming in) Hey!
Chandler: Hi Joe!
Phoebe: We were just talking about having a surprise party for Rachel. Are you free next week?
Joey: Yup! Nothin' at all goin' on next week.
Monica: How about Tuesday? I know for a fact that Ross is free because he was going to come for dinner.
All: OK! Fine with me! etc.
Phoebe: So how did the audition go?
Joey: It was awful! They wanted me to be a nice, kind psychopath! I mean, how does that work?
Chandler: You just have to be nice and kind and act a bit weird. I wouldn't of thought it was that hard.
Joey: And of course you know all about acting!
Chandler: No, I was just saying it didn't look that hard.
Joey: Well looks can be deceiving, as you of all people should know.
Chandler: Why me of all people?
Joey: People always think you're gay!
Chandler: That is not true! That hardly ever happens to me!
Joey: Well it's only ever once happened to me, and I was with you at the time! (exits)
Monica: People really think you're gay? No wait, don't answer that. Someone thought Joey was gay?!
Scene: Rachel's bedroom, continued from earlier.
Rachel: (after trying unsuccessfully to lift the bed) It's no use, I can't do it.
Ross: Try to find something to lever it up with.
Rachel: Like what?
Ross: A plank or a pole or something.
Rachel: (looking around) I don't see anything like that.
Ross: What about the pole in your closet?
Rachel: You want me to break my closet just to help you?
Ross: Fine, I'll just stay here then. It's not like you mind if I see you undressing and you have to bring me food.
Rachel: OK, I'll do it! But you have to put it back in for me.
Ross: OK, just get me out. (Rachel breaks the pole out of her closet, shakes the clothes off, sticks the pole under the bed, and pushes. The pole beaks in half. Ross and Rachel look at each other)
Rachel: Oops.
Ross: Great!
Scene: The girl's apartment, continued from earlier. Chandler, Joey and Phoebe have left, Monica is washing the dishes. Rachel comes out of her room, making sure to open the door as little as possible so that nobody sees Ross' butt sticking out from under her bed.
Rachel: Morning!
Monica: Rach, it's four in the afternoon.
Rachel: Is it? Afternoon then! Listen, have you got a pole or a plank or something?
Monica: What do you want something like that for?
Rachel: I need to lift my bed up.
Monica: Why?
Rachel: There's something stuck under it and I can't get it out.
Monica: You can use the broom. You need some help?
Rachel: (hurrying back into her room with the broom) No! I don't need any help at all so please don't come in!
Monica: You sure?
Rachel: Yup! 100% sure! (slams the door behind her)
Monica: (puzzled) OK.
Scene: Rachel's bedroom. Rachel comes in.
Rachel: OK, this had better work or Monica is going to go crazy. So, on three I'll lift the bed, and you roll out. One, two, three! (Ross rolls out) Phew! (stands up) OW!
Ross: What's the matter?
Rachel: I think I've strained my back.
Ross: Is it me or is this turning out to be a really bad day for us?
Scene: The girl's apartment. Monica is there as Rachel staggers in holding her back.
Monica: What's the matter?
Rachel: I think I strained my back lifting that bed.
Monica: Well, I did tell you I'd help if you wanted me to. You'd better lie down on the floor.
Rachel: Why?
Monica: Because that's what you're supposed to do if you've hurt your back. It's something to do with the floor being straight, I think. Come on, I'll help you. (she proceeds to lower Rachel to the floor)
Rachel: OwowowowowowowowOW! (once she's lying down) OK, there is no way I can get up unless I have about ten people helping me.
Monica: You're not supposed to get up! You're just supposed to lie there.
Rachel: What if I have to go to the bathroom?
Monica: You have to wait until I get back so I can help you up again. I need to do some shopping, I'll be back soon. (leaves)
[Cut to Ross listening at Rachel's door, then cut back to Rachel]
Ross: (coming in) Are you OK?
Rachel: Well, apart from being stuck to the floor or else probably passing out from the pain, I feel great!
Ross: Rach, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault.
Rachel: It's not your fault we got drunk! If I hadn't bought all that wine in the first place, none of this would've happened.
Ross: You didn't know no-one would come!
Rachel: I could've guessed! This is just the kind of thing that happens to me! It's like I'm cursed or something!
Ross: Don't be so hard on yourself! It could have happened to anyone!
Rachel: It wouldn't happen to Monica! She always has everything organized! She'd never have a birthday party where only one of the people she'd invited actually came! Not unless she'd only invited one person in the first place! (Ross starts sniggering) What?
Ross: Nothing. It's just that you look so funny lying on the floor shouting.
Rachel: (tries to get up) OW!
CREDITS
Scene: The girl's apartment, later on. Everyone is there.
Monica: Rach, what are you doing on Tuesday?
Rachel: (still on the floor) Nothing. I'll probably have died of boredom by then.
Phoebe: Only we were thinking we could all go to the movies together.
Rachel: To see what?
Ross: (who has been told about the surprise party) We thought we could choose when we got there.
Rachel: Sounds good to me.
Phoebe: Hey, do you wanna hear my "get better soon" song?
Rachel: Anything to take my mind off my back.
Phoebe: OK! (picks up her guitar and starts singing)
You've broken two arms, and a leg too,
I don't know 'bout the others, but I miss
you.
I miss you, so please get better soon,
I love you, so please get better soon
I don't like you being hurt, so please
get better soon
Get better SOOOOOOOOOOOON!
(everyone claps) Thank
you!
THE END