(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. The whole gang, minus Ross, are sitting around talking happily)

(Ross enters)

ROSS: Why are you all so happy? There shouldn't be happiness!

MON: Why? What's wrong?

ROSS: Emily's in New York, so it can't be a happy place!

PHOE: Well, Emily didn't screw us over! We can be happy.

(Ross looks like he's about to cry)

PHOE: Oh, I'm sorry! (She hugs him)

RACH: Wait a second…Emily's in New York? Since when?

CHAN: Since yesterday, apparently.

RACH: How do you know about it? Am I the last to know?

MON: No…Only me and Chandler knew, apart from Ross.

RACH: Oh. (cheers up) So, anyway, I saw this dress in Macy's, and it was only-

ROSS: What are you saying?

RACH: Oh…Sorry, Ross.

ROSS: Yeah.

JOEY: Man, cheer up! I haven't seen you this depressed, ever!

CHAN: Are you kidding?

MON: Ross is always depressed!

ROSS: If I'd known you two were gonna start ganging up on me, I would never have accepted your relationship!

MON: Sorry, Ross. But it's true. I mean, when Carol left you…

PHOE: When she got married to Susan…

RACH: Um, when I found out about him liking me, and the whole Julie thing…

CHAN: Can't forget Bonnie!

ROSS: What? What are you talking about? Can't you see I'm depressed?

JOEY: Well, I've been thinking, and it's all true!

ROSS: So!

(Knock on door)

ROSS: You answer it, Mon. You live here.

(Monica opens it, to see Emily)

EMI: Is Ross there?

CHAN: Didn't see that one coming! (the gang glare at him) What? I didn't!

OPENING CREDITS

(SCENE: Central Perk. The gang, minus Ross, are there)

MON: I wonder what Emily wants. (pause) I hope Ross is okay.

CHAN: Don't worry about it! Ross will be fine. He's a big boy.

JOEY: Yeah, Mon, you're not his mum.

MON: I'm just worried, that's all.

RACH: There's no need. I'm sure she's not gonna do anything. Oh, do you think they'll be at our place, Mon?

MON: I doubt it, why?

RACH: I have to go get something before I go to work.

PHOE: So? Why are you so bothered about whether Emily will be there? Actually, I'll read your mind. Gimme your head.

(Rachel sits down on the floor under Phoebe, and Phoebe starts to wave her hands over her head)

PHOE: Okay, I've got it. You think it'll be awkward between you and Emily because of everything that's happened.

RACH: Wow! How did you know?

JOEY: Because it's obvious!

RACH(embarrassed): Oh. Well, I have to go. Bye guys.

CHAN: Yeah, good luck!

RACH: Why?

CHAN: Cos of(Monica hits him) Ow! Good (pause) bye.

RACH: Bye.

(She leaves)

MON: You really have a way with words, don't you Chandler?

CHAN(proud): How do you mean?

MON: A bad way with words!

(Chandler stops smiling)

CHAN: Oh. I knew that.

(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. Rachel enters, and sees Ross sitting on the sofa by himself)

RACH(softly): Hi.

(Ross turns around to see Rachel)

ROSS: Oh, hi.

RACH: How did it go with Emily? What did she want?

ROSS: She came to see her uncle-

RACH(confused): Well, he's not here…

ROSS: Let me finish.

RACH: Sorry.

ROSS: She came to see her uncle, and dropped off the divorce papers on her way.

RACH: Honey! Are you alright?

ROSS: Yeah, yeah, I am.

RACH: Well, I came to get my bag, and I have to go. Are you sure you're alright?

ROSS: Yes! Go…

RACH: Okay. Bye.

(She leaves)

(Ross turns on the TV, and sees a couple kissing)

ROSS: Man! That's so unfair!

(Monica enters)

MON: Hi. I just saw Rachel. She said you looked bummed.

ROSS: Well, I'm not! I'm fine.

MON: Okay. Calm down…

ROSS: Sorry, Mon. I'm just not myself right now.

MON: I can see that!

(Phone rings)

MON: Just a sec, Ross.

(She answers the phone)

MON: Hello? (pause) No, this is his sister. Why? (pause) Oh my god! Well, is she okay? (pause) Oh. I see. Well, thanks for calling. (pause) I will. Bye.

(She hangs up, looking shocked)

ROSS: What?

MON: That was Emily's uncle. Emily's in hospital.

ROSS: Oh my god! Why?

MON: She got hit by a car. It's not looking good, Ross.

(Ross's mouth drops open)

ROSS: Wow.

(Phoebe enters)

PHOE: Guess what? I just got a full subscription to Psychic Monthly!! Cool, huh?! (sees Ross & Monica's faces) Wow, what happened?

ROSS: Emily got hit by a car.

PHOE: Wow! You're kidding?

MON: No. She's in hospital.

PHOE: Is she gonna be okay?

(Monica shrugs)

(Chandler enters)

CHAN: Hey! (notices) What's up?

PHOE: Emily's in hospital!

CHAN: Really?

ROSS: She got…hit.

CHAN: Huh?

MON: Hit by a car.

(Chandler raises his eyebrows)

CHAN: Woah. (to Ross) You okay, bud?

ROSS: I think so.

CHAN: Well, we can leave a message for Joey and Rachel, and go to the hospital.

ROSS: Yeah, okay.

MON: One of us should stay here. I think it should be Phoebs.

PHOE: Why me?

MON: Well, Ross can't stay. I have to go with him, and I want Chandler to be there. I might get upset.

(She looks up at Chandler, and he puts his arm around her, and kisses her forehead)

PHOE: Aw. Well, I'll stay then.

ROSS: Okay.

CHAN: Bye Phoebs.

MON: See ya later.

PHOE: Bye.

(They leave)

(Phoebe turns on the TV and goes to get a drink, humming)

(The phone rings)

(Phoebe picks it up)

PHOE: Hello?

(Change scene to hospital)

DOCTOR: Hello, is that Ms Geller?

(Back at apartment)

PHOE: No, it's Phoebe Buffay. Ms Geller is out.

(Hospital)

DOCTOR: Well, I'm afraid I'm calling with bad news. Are you related or friends with Ross Geller?

(Apartment)

PHOE: I'm good friends with him. Why, what's going on?

(Hospital)

DOCTOR: Miss Waltham has gone into a coma, and we're not sure she's going to pull out of it?

(Apartment)

(Phoebe's mouth drops open, and she sits down)

PHOE: Eh?

(Hospital)

DOCTOR: Hello? Are you still there?

(Apartment)

PHOE: Yeah. Um, Ross and his sister and her boyfriend are on their way to the hospital now. Are you sure about Emily?

(Hospital)

DOCTOR: Quite sure. I should be going. I have a patient to see to. I just thought I should phone and tell you.

(Apartment)

PHOE: Yeah. Thanks. Bye bye.

(Phoebe hangs up, still shocked)

(Rachel enters)

RACH: You are never gonna believe this, Mon…Oh, hey Phoebs. Where's Monica?

PHOE: She went to the hospital with Ross.

RACH(concerned): Why? What's wrong?

PHOE: Emily got knocked down this morning by a car. The hospital just rang to say she'd gone into coma.

RACH: Oh my god! You're kidding!

PHOE: Nuh-uh. Serious as a newsreader.

RACH: Wow. I can't believe this. I was only thinking this morning about her. And it wasn't nice thinking, either. (sits down next to Phoebe) Wow.

(Joey comes bursting in with coupons)

JOEY: Check it out! 50% off cheesy fries at Burger World!! (Rachel and Phoebe glare at him and he's genuinely confused) What?

(SCENE: Monica and Rachel's apartment. The whole gang, minus Monica and Ross, are there)

CHAN: I hope Mon's okay. Hospital's scare me.

RACH: So? Why would Monica care?

CHAN: I'm just worried about her.

JOEY: Ah, that's sweet.

CHAN: Shutup, man.

JOEY: Sorry.

PHOE: I hope Emily came through okay.

(Ross and Monica enter)

(Chandler gets up and kisses Monica)

CHAN: Hey.

ALL: Hi, guys.

PHOE: How's Emily?

ROSS: She's gone.

(The 4 gasp)

CHAN: You're kidding?

MON: No. She went this afternoon.

JOEY: Where?

RACH: Joey!

ROSS: She went to London General Hospital.

RACH: Obviously! See, Joey, what did I said? London General.

MON: Did you all think she'd died?

CHAN: No…Not at all.

MON: Liar.

CHAN: Yeah…

(Monica grins)

PHOE: So, she's okay now?

ROSS: She's well enough to travel, but she has to go privately. So she can relax, etc.

RACH: Well, I think that's great. That she's okay, I mean.

ROSS: No you don't.

RACH: I do! Seriously, I don't like her, but I wouldn't wish anything mean on her.

MON: Not what you told me.

RACH: Shutup Monica.

MON: You guys are like a firing squad today!

CHAN: Sorry, sweetie.

(He hugs her)

PHOE: That's getting very boring now, by the way. You're acting like an old married couple.

(Chandler looks thoughtful)

MON: Don't think about it, Chandler! (to Phoebe) You know he's gonna be planning a surprise wedding or something ridiculous like that now, don't you?

RACH: Well, it's not that bad an idea. You two are great together.

MON: Eh…

(Chandler hits her very lightly on the knee)

MON: Sorry.

CHAN: Yeah, you think you're sorry now…

ROSS: Will you two cut that out?

CHAN/MON: Sorry, Ross.

JOEY: Does anyone want a coupon for Cheesy Fries?

OTHERS: Joey!

END