The One With The Old, New Arrival

Written by: Kate and Jacqueline

Disclaimer: We do not own any of these characters they belong to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and also Warner Bros. This fan fic is intended for enjoyment not profit.

We will be doing a series of 24 scripts the next one will be called The One With The Video Part I. Look out for it soon.

We would love feedback!

Series 7 Episode 1.

Rachel: Previously on Friends. (Strange voice)

Chandler: You sound like…oh I can’t remember his name!!

Joey: Oh, oh, I know who you mean, what’s his name.

Rachel: Ssssh you two.

Chandler and Joey: Fine, okay.

Rachel: As I was saying, (normal voice) previously on Friends. (Strange voice)

(Chandler and Joey both laugh.)

Chandler and Joey: Sorry, yeah sorry.

Rachel: Here’s some clips. (Strange voice)

(Chandler and Joey both laugh again.)

All: Sush!


Phoebe: Where’s Ross?

Chandler: He’s at…

(Rachel gives him a look.)

Chandler: Okay I’ll shut up now.

Rachel: Previously on Friends. (Strange voice) Roll them, quick!! (Normal voice)

(We see some clips of the things from last season. Ross and Rachel getting married, them fighting and having a divorce. Phoebe looking after Frank and Alice’s triplets. Joey buying the boat. Richard telling Monica he wants to marry her. Chandler telling Monica how marriage is a bad idea. Chandler going to see Richard. Joey telling Chandler how Monica went to her parents place. Chandler proposing, Monica saying yes and then the rest of them, except Ross, coming in.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk. The whole gang are there except Ross, who hasn't heard the news yet]

Rachel: I can't believe you guys are getting married.

Chandler: Nor can I (smiles).

(Monica smiles back at him and they kiss. Ross walks in.)

Monica: Hey.

Ross: Hey. What are you two so happy about?

(They all look at him strangely.)

Phoebe: Oh my god you don't know, do you?

Ross: Know what?

Rachel: You two tell him.

Joey: Oh, can I? Please!!! (Makes his bottom lip quiver).

Chandler: Fine you tell him Joe.

Joey: Well… what was it again.

Monica: Okay Ross, I’ll tell you. Chandler and I…

Ross: Oh my god, you’re going to have a baby aren’t you!

(Ross sees Chandlers stricken expression and back tracks.)

Ross: Okay so your not, are you?

Monica: No, (to Chandler) don’t worry honey.

(Chandler smiles.)

Ross: So what is it then?

Monica: As I was telling you, Chandler and I are getting married.

Ross: Oh my god that’s great you guys.

Monica: I know.

(They kiss again.)

Chandler: I’m just gonna get some coffee.

(He kisses Monica on the cheek on his way to the counter.)

Gunther: What do you want? (Very angry)

Chandler: Hey, I’m not marrying Rachel!

Gunther: Your not?

Chandler: No I’m marrying Monica.

Gunther: Thank god. (Relieved)

Chandler: I’ll have a cappuccino.

Gunther: Okay. So is Rachel single?

Chandler: Yeah I think so.

Gunther: Good. Here’s your cappuccino.

Chandler: Thanks.

(He walks back over to the others. They all look at him as he sits down.)

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: Look behind you.

(Chandler looks over his shoulder and sees someone. His face turns from a smile to shock.)

Chandler: Oh my god!!!

[Scene: Monica, Chandler and Rachel’s apartment. They’re all there.]

Chandler: What the hell are you doing here?

(The camera pulls back and we see…Janice!)

Janice: I should ask the same question to you Chandler Bing. Last time I saw you, you were on a plane to Yemen!

Chandler: Yeah well, I asked you first. (Very uncomfortable)

Monica: Cookies anyone?

Phoebe: I’ll have one.

Ross: Me too.

Rachel: And me.

Joey: Can I have a beer?

(Monica glares at him.)

Joey: A cookie will be fine.

(Joey shoves the whole thing in his mouth. Janice sits down. Chandler then sits down and Monica sits on his lap. Janice looks at them strangely.)

Chandler: Well? (Impatient)

Janice: After we split up and then you ran off to Yemen.

Chandler: I actually flew.

Janice: (Sighs) Well, I had got divorced from my husband and then I went out with Ross.

Chandler: Oh yeah.

Janice: You knew about that?

Chandler: Ross tells me everything.

Ross: You don’t tell me everything. (Sulking)

Janice: Anyway, I kept going out with guys trying to get over you, my bing-a-ling, but I couldn’t. So here I am, I’ve come back to tell you…

Chandler: Don’t say it.

Janice: Why can’t I say that I love you?

Rachel: Very clever the way you just said that anyway.

Janice: I try.

Chandler: Because… Lets start from when I went to Yemen. I stayed there for a day and got the next flight back that I could get. I came back and shortly afterwards was Ross’s wedding to Emily.

Janice: Oh, I know all about that.

Chandler: Not quite. When we were all in London. Well, all except Phoebes who was having her brother’s babies.

(Janice gives Phoebe a strange look.)

Chandler: Long story, I’ll let Phoebes tell you later. So Monica got really drunk and we ended up spending the night together.

Joey: Yeah, Monica was very, very drunk!

Chandler: Thank you Joey. Well Monica and I have been going out ever since.

Rachel: I’ll take it from here.

(We look at the clock, which reads 6:00 P.M, and then fade out. We fade into the clock, which reads 7:00 P.M.)

Monica: So now Chandler and I are in engaged. Phew.

Janice: Oh my gaud. You lot have been busy!

All: Yeah.

Phoebe: I didn’t realize so much had happened in the last two years! Except I had my brother’s babies, Monica and Chandler got together, Ross’s marriage failed, Rachel and. Whoa so much has happened. The aura around here is a murky green colour!

(Everyone looks at her strangely. There is a long pause.)

Janice: It’s getting late, I’d better go.

Chandler: Where are you staying?

Janice: I don’t know I sold my house so I could move to one near you but now we’re not going out I have nowhere to stay.

(They all, except for Janice, look at Ross.)

Ross: Well, I know I have a spare room but it will be really uncomfortable because we used to go out. (Sighs with relief.)

Janice: Yeah, that’s true.

Phoebe: Oh, oh I’ve got it!

Monica: Go on then Phoebes.

Phoebe: Rachel could live over here because she can’t stay with Ross because off the history, and Janice can’t stay here because of the history. Then I can move in with Ross and Janice can move in with Joey. Phew!

Chandler and Monica: Okay.

Rachel: Okay.

Ross: Okay.

Joey: What were we talking about?

Monica: We were talking about Janice moving in with you.

Joey: Okay. (Does a double take, and looks shocked at what he just agreed to.)

Janice: Thank you Joey my little lifesaver you! Thank you too Phoebe for coming up with the plan!

Joey: Well, we better get packing!

Janice: Okay I’ll just go get my stuff! (Exits)

Joey: You owe me big time you guys!

Commercial Break

[Scene: Joey and now Janice’s apartment, they are both there. Joey comes out from his bedroom and sees Janice making breakfast.]

Joey: Ahhhhhh!

Janice: What, is anything burning?

Joey: No sorry I just I forgot you were staying here.

Janice: Okay. Here you go, eggs a la Janice.

(Joey puts a spoonful in his mouth.)

Joey: Yum.

Janice: Well. (Smug.)

(Janice turns around and Joey gets a piece of tissue and spits it into it.)

[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, accept Janice and Rachel]

Joey: I’m so sorry Chandler, I just can’t put up with her anymore. Her eggs are yuck!

Chandler: It’s been one night! See how you last for a week and then decide. Why are you saying sorry to me anyway, we’re not going out anymore?

Joey: Yeah, sorry man I forgot.

Janice: (entering) Hey you guys. (Does the infamous laugh)

All: Hey.

Janice: Hey rooomie!

Joey: Hey…Janice.

Phoebe: Has anyone seen Rachel.

Monica: Oh my god, I just remembered we were gonna meet at our place. Ross did you forget to tell her we were gonna meet down here.

Ross: Going to.

Monica: What? Oh I get it. So, did you tell her?

Ross: No.

Monica: I better go get her then.

Chandler: It’s okay I’ll get her. I forgot something anyway.

Monica: What?

Chandler: My wallet.

Phoebe: You know the exact same thing happened to me the other day…

Chandler: See you in a minute.

[Scene Chandler and Monica’s apartment. Only Rachel is there.]

Chandler: You do realise the spare key was only for emergencies?

Rachel: Well sorry, Mr. I’m so happy all the time.

Chandler: What’s wrong?

Rachel: My date stood me up last night.

Chandler: Oh I’m so sorry.

Rachel: Well, what would you know you’ve probably never been stood up in your life.

Chandler: Think about who you’re talking to for a second.

Rachel: You know if Ross were here he would correct you and say whom.

Chandler: He is so annoying when he does that.

Rachel: Yeah. He’s the only stable boyfriend I’ve had since Barry!

Chandler: Do you still love him?

Rachel: I think so.

Chandler: Tell him.

Rachel: I can’t tell him! The reasons are threefold…

(Chandler laughs.)

Rachel: What’s so funny?

Chandler: Sorry, remember what happened when Joey put me in the box? The reasons were threefold then. I can’t believe Ross covered the air hole up.

Rachel: Okay, back to my problem. The first reason is that it could ruin our friend ship. The second is that we have so much history and the third is that he wouldn’t believe me if I told him anyway.

Chandler: You have to tell him, if you don’t I will.

Rachel: Don’t say anything or I will get Monica to kill you.

(Chandler looks scared.)

Chandler: Okay, okay I won’t say anything. God, I hate secrets.

Rachel: Thanks. Let’s go.

(They start to walk out.)

Chandler: Wait, I forgot my wallet.

(He runs into his and Monica’s bedroom, and returns with a wallet.)

Chandler: Let’s go.

[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there as Chandler and Rachel enter.]

Joey: That’s so great Janice!

Rachel: What’s so great?

Joey: Me and Janice are going to (looks pointedly at Ross) have a day of fun two!

Ross: Janice and I.

(Joey sighs.)

Chandler: Lucky you Joe!

Janice: You can come too, if you want?

Chandler: What day is it?

Janice: Saturday.

Chandler: That’s a shame I have plans with Monica that day.

Monica: Yes that’s right.

Ross: Correct.

Phoebe: Ross, I think I speak on behalf of all of us when I say,shut up!!

Ross: Okay.

Chandler: No Ross you say, that’s fine.

Rachel: What time is it?

Joey: 1 o’clock.

Chandler: 10 o’clock.

Monica: 10 o’clock.

Phoebe: 10 o’clock.

Ross: My watch has stopped.

Joey: So has mine.

(Long pause.)

Rachel: Well, I better get to work.

Chandler: Me too.

Monica: And me.

Ross: Yeah, me as well.

Phoebe: I better start singing.

Joey: I’ll watch you sing Phoebes.

Phoebe: Thanks.

(No one moves.)

Joey: Go you guys, go!

All: Oh okay, yeah, your right etc.

(They all get up and walk off and Phoebe walks up to her usual spot. Phoebe starts to sing a song.)

Phoebe: (singing) This is a new song I’ve just written. I think about this person a lot at this time of year. (Applause.)

Little boy from my past,
You cut off your hand, why?
I need to know, I need to know!
I asked. But the very next day,
You jumped of a bridge and died.
La, la-la-la-la-la-la, la, la, la, la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la.

Phoebe: Thank you, thanks very much!

[Scene: Monica, Chandler and now Rachel’s apartment. Everyone is there as Joey and Janice enter.]

Janice: Hey you guys. (Does her laugh-cringe.)

All: Hey. (All cringing.)

Janice: I’m just gonna go freshen up.

Joey: Okay, bye Janice.

Chandler: So how was your “day of fun II”?

Joey: It sucked!

Monica: Now you know why we didn’t come.

Ross: Hey, Mon and Chandler you’re not supposed to here.

Chandler: Oh yeah, but she knows we’re here!

(All this time Rachel has been looking wistfully at Ross.)

Phoebe: Hello, Rach are you there?

Rachel: Oh sorry Phoebes.

(The all look at her for an explanation.)

Rachel: I was trying to contact the spirit world.

(They all look at her strangely except for Phoebe who nods wisely.)

Janice: (entering) Does anyone want to go down to Central Perk?

All: Umm/huh etc.

Janice: The coffee is on me.

All: Yeah, sure, okay etc.

(They all go down to Central Perk, except Ross and Rachel.)

Ross: You weren’t trying to contact the spiritual world were you? You were looking at me.

Rachel: Ross, no I wasn’t why do think the world revolves around you? So maybe I wasn’t trying to contact the spirit world, but I certainly wasn’t looking at you Ross. We are over! Now I’m gonna go down to Central Perk and have a coffee with my friends. (Storms out.)

(Ross sighs.)

[Scene: Central Perk. The whole gang is there except Ross as Rachel enters. They all have their coffee in front of them. We can’t be bothered to tell you what they’re drinking, make it up yourself.]

Phoebe: What is wrong you’re aura is brown?

Rachel: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Monica: Okay.

(Rachel walks up to the counter.)

Rachel: Gunther, do you sell beer here?

Gunther: Anything for you Rachel.

(Rachel has a “he is so weird” look on her face.)

Closing Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier. Ross walks in and sees Rachel sitting down with a beer.]

Ross: Hey Gunther can I have a beer, like Rachel?

Gunther: No, sorry we don’t sell beers here.

(Gunther then walks into the back room and leaves Ross with a bewildered look on his face.)