The One where it get mixed up(a.k.a. TOW it falls apart part 2)
Written by: EFN
This script is based on characters, events, and places originally created by Marta Kauffman, David Crane, and Kevin S. Bright. This script is not intended as a derivative work of the NBC series Friends, and may not be reprinted for commercial usage without the express written consent of EFN
*Oh! Yea! If you don't remember anything from the last part (my first "Friends" fan-fic) Phoebe in the Pre-intro scene will remind you all I'll remind is : "it's a week after "TOW Chandler in a box""
** AND it's a little longer than the 1st one but... I guess you really don't care about that...
Pre-intro scene: Phoebe on a flight talking to us while doing some kind of meditation while the rest of the passengers are trying to figure who is he talking about
PHOE: Hi!! What's up? How are you? What? You wanna know what was in the previous episode of "Friends"? Well that's easy!! (cut to : (only pictures no sound because the sound is Phoebe talking) Central Perk, all the "Friends" are in there. Chandler on the one-man-couch, Monica Phoebe and Joey are in regular couch, Rachel on the chair and Ross is just standing like he just arrived; Monica is yelling on Chandler) Monica was really pissed off on Chandler. She was screaming on him etc. Later (cut to: Chandler's room, Rachel and Chandler are on the bed talking ) Chandler told Rachel that Monica basically had a crush on him, what made him to break up with Kathy for the excuse [We hear on the BG Chandler says (along with the Picture)" Kathy is soul mate but not girlfriend "] He told that to Monica and she ran away not telling him anything... after that... story he and Rachel carried away to sex and decided to go away and think in another country... and they hadn't had the chance to tell anyone! (Cut to: Ross's apt. he & Monica talk) Ross decided to move with Carol, Susan and Ben to London for three years! So Monica decided to go with him and so they decided not to tell anyone about that. Joey (Cut to: the airport, Joey & Caroline enter talking) got drunk and told someone very rich that he will move with her to another country and went on a plane to... there. And I (cut to: Phoebe in a phone cell the man tries to talk to her from outside) had problems with the Mafia because I was in a new job who turned to be a... whores one. So I ran away with client's money because I worked very hard!... ok... it's not what it sounds like I did a massage! So then a Mafia boy got me telling me an excuse... it was a hidden camera stuff... so I used the money to go on this plane... and then... well... that's it! (Waking up) what was that?
Scene: a house, a big one Joey comes in with plenty suitcases over there we see Caroline (CRLN) and her father (FTR)]
JOE: here are the suitcases
FTR: fine... (Silence) (To Joey) what are you waiting for?
FTR: oh, yea! Tip the guy!
CRLN & JOE: what?
FTR: then what are you waiting for?
CRLN: well dad... Joey is actually... my American boyfriend
FTR: oh, yea?
FTR: well... good for him... (To Joey) good-bye!
CRLN: well... dad... actually I wished that Joey would stay here for a few weeks
FTR: few weeks?
CRLN: until he'll get a job here and a little money for an apartment.
FTR: what's your job?
JOE: I'm an actor...
FTR: well... you can keep wishing
CRLN: what? No... No... He came with me! He stays or I leave...
CRLN: until he finds a job or money
CRLN: he can stay?
FTR: no... you can go! But... you won't have your allowance
[going to her room taking a small pink suitcase]
CRLN: come on Richard we're going...
[they start to leave]
JOEY: my name is Joey... OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: an ally Phoebe is running away from agent Fox Mulder (AFM) (guess played by who) and agent Dana Scully (ADS) (take another guess...) in the Background X-files theme... she gets to a dead end)
AFM: Mrs. Buffay!!! Stop!!!!
ADS: we don't want to use a weapon!!!
PHOE: NO!!! it's my money I've worked for him!!!!
ADS: we know that!!!
AFM: we will take good care in you!!
PHOE: how could I know?
(ADS and AFM are staring each other)
AFM: here! An alien chip! Original!!
(throws it towards Phoebe she takes it)
PHOE: would I get my money back?
ADS: um... sure!!!
PHOE: ok!! (throws the money towards them)
AFM: thank you!!
PHOE: wow!! I thought you are so unnice but you are like the t.v. show... cool
ADS: yea!! Would you turn around for a sec?
(ADS & AFM are pulling their guns slow-motional and shooting Phoebe we here her shout "NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!")
[Cut to: airplane Phoebe (with the suitcase) is waking up seeing Jillian Anderson (JA) near her the X-files continues]
JA: hey lady!!! Wake up!!!
JA: we reached Cuba... you can go down now...
(Phoebe is noticing the imagination to Scully screaming and running away)
JA: ok!! from now on I'm not helping anyone!!
[Cut to: outside the plane Phoebe is over there thinking]
PHEO (her mind): well... they went until here but... I will go on another plane... again... what do I care? I have money!! (looking on the suitcase) plenty of it!!
[Scene: Hotel Ross and Monica near the counter talking to a clerk (CLRK)]
CLRK: room 356 it's on floor 3
MON: is it tidy?
CLRK: I guess...
MON: you better guess good because it's the 10th hotel I'm leaving because of the dirty room and I don't want to be pissed off!!!!!!!
CLRK: (to Ross) are you two married?
CLRK: I can see why...
[Ross and Monica are getting the tickets and start walking to the elevator when they reach there they call it]
MON: he WILL get his...
ROSS: relax Mon! We're going to have fun! ...Then you're gonna get a job!!! But!! It'll be FUN!!
MON: what? No! it's temporal!
ROSS: the fun?
MON: no! me staying here!!
ROSS: what? Are you gonna get back to... there?
MON: in a year... or until my account will be out of money...
ROSS: whatever comes first?
ROSS: ok... so what are you gonna tell Rachel about this trip?
MON: Rachel? oh god!! We never called her!!
ROSS: don't worry we will
MON: I can't wait to see what she thinks about what I did... Mrs. organize just... going without something organized!!
[They go to the elevator then Chandler and Rachel come in]
RACH: from all the places from all the world why the city where Ross's child in...
CHAN: because I was planning to go to France... Paris!! Euro-Disney!! But then I met my mom who will pay ALL THE EXPENSES OF THE TRIP!!! I have here her London account number... [going to the clerk] Can I get the royal suite please
CLRK: where is your money?
CHAN: am I familiar to you?
CLRK: No... and who do you think you are?
CHAN: Nora Bing!
CLRK: well... you have an identify problem
RACH: he meant... Nora Bing's son
CLRK: yea? What's her full name?
CHAN: Nora Tyler Bing!
CLRK: well... that's easy!! Um...
[Chandler is whispering something to him...]
CLRK: you think that I hadn't already... "talked" with her? She WAS in this hotel!! Give me some facts!!
CHAN: you want facts?
[Chandler is whispering to him another thing]
CLRK: o... ok...
[he gives them the suit keys they walk away...]
RACH: what have you told him?
CHAN: her real hair color... and... her age... COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: the hotel: Joey and Caroline are in near the Clerk]
CLRK: (telling it slowly) ok... after all the initials! I'll ask you again, which room?
JOEY: um... Caroline? Which room do you want? Suite, super suite, ultra suite?
CRLN: Neither!!! It's impossible 'cause we don't have the money
JOEY: (to CLRK) in a sec... (to CRLN) WHAT?!
CRLN: we don't have the money
JOEY: yes we have... (CRLN misunderstand) do you have your credit card here?
JOEY: see? After all those... unimportant details... Can I have the royal suit?!
CLRK: Can I have your money?
[she hands the clerk the credit card]
CLRK: um... it's taken!!
JOEY: do you have a regular suit?
CLRK: yea... (printing in the computer and using the credit card) for how long do you wish to stay?
JOEY: um.... we'll let know!!
CLRK: o... (hands him the credit card) Room 426 in the 3rd floor
JOEY: thanks (to Caroline) you see? It's simple!!
[they go... as they go Phoebe enters in dark leather cloths and sun glasses the Hotel and in whisper voice stalks to the clerk]
PHOE: give me your cheapest room...
CLRK: (whispers too) ok... your name
PHOE: never mind...
CLRK: I'll keep it secretly... I promise!
PHOE: ok.... it's Phoebe Buffay
[they keep talking but we can't hear them because the scene cuts to the elevator Monica comes she looks at the person near the clerk then goes away we cut back to Phoebe]
CLRK: o.k. now we're fine how do you pay?
CLRK: then pay for now... (checks the money while he tells her the exact money and she pays (we don't hear anything because) scene cuts again to the elevators side now Monica and Ross enters]
MON: do you think it's the FBI or the MI6 or something?!?
ROSS: maybe... but why do you care about that?
MON: if you think it's the FBI... or the MI6 then I heard that they are pretty handsome...
ROSS: then it's not the FBI... or MI6!!!
MON: well... FBI... Or MI6 or not I'm following this baby!!
ROSS: you dragged me here to see you hitting on someone?
MON: yea... and meanwhile you can complain about the dirt
[Suddenly Phoebe goes away]
MON: I'm gonna follow him... do your job!!
[Monica follows Phoebe while Ross is going to the Clerk]
CLRK: hi... how can I serve you?
ROSS: actually it's the room
CLRK: what's wrong with it?
ROSS: it was dirty when we got there
CLRK: oh... I will send the chambermaid over there
ROSS: no... it's clean now
CLRK: then what do you want?
ROSS: to... to... to notice you
CLRK: well... I am noticed... thank you
ROSS: you're welcome...
[cut to: Monica follows Phoebe then Phoebe stops]
MON: hey good look... (Phoebe turns around) PHOEBE?!?!?!?!??
MON: what the hell are you doing here?
PHOE: meet me tonight at ten here!!!
[Phoebe Runs away leaving Monica with a shock look on her face!!]
[Scene: the royal suite Chandler and Rachel are over there...]
RACH: strange! Monica doesn't answer...
CHAN: try Joey
CHAN: strange... kind of scary
RACH: Monica would let us know if they were going anywhere...
CHAN: yea... maybe something happened...
CHAN: that's the only explanation
RACH: you think?
CHAN: yea but... they probably at Central Perk
RACH: no!! I told her on the machine on the first phone call outside the plane be home this time!!
CHAN: and she's not?
CHAN: don't worry I'm sure that they're fine...
RACH: why are you sitting here like an idiot?
RACH: go out there and look for them
RACH: I miss them and... I'm scared
CHAN: I understand
RACH: what if we lost our friends?
CHAN: nothing happened! Believe me! And... (Enthusiast) beside of that!!! We are in the hotel!!
CHAN: it's... it's... it's... time to think about the... stuff
CHAN: um... the big important trivia question (announcer voice) was it a fling or not?
RACH: oh... yea... let's think
CHAN: wow!! I'm good in making games
[there's a silence]
CHAN: are you thinking on anything?
RACH: Ross... (well... that's the part where all the crowd is doing the "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" thing I'd rather it won't happen... I mean: "it's not your problem!!" J )
[Scene: Joey's suite he's sleeping in the bed after a... sport with Caroline we guess... she gets dressed leaving a note and the pink suitcase]
CRLN: bye Aaron
JOEY: (in his sleep) it's Joey
CRLN: I'll never forget you
JOEY: (in his sleep) was I SO amazing?
CRLN: yea... you made me feel like I'm one of a kind...
JOEY: (sleep) you are... the kind of women who slept with Joey... you are one of a Million... one of a billion of a...
[she slaps him he wakes up she goes away]
JOEY: (shouting) did I fall asleep in the middle?
[Scene: Royal suite Rachel is calling again to Monica and hangs up the phone]
RACH: she's not there... it's been an hour now!!
CHAN: don't worry he'll be fine
CHAN: Ross... it's pretty clear that you're thinking about hum
RACH: yea? Well... you're right...
CHAN: and while you were trying I have figured out something
CHAN: it was a fling... an obvious one
RACH: what are you talking about?
CHAN: you still think about Ross and I'm still about Monica
RACH: what? I'm... I'm... I'm... you're right
CHAN: yea? I thought so... anyway I'll sleep in the other room of the suite and tomorrow we'll be back...
RACH: you know what? we shouldn't break the trip now...
RACH: we came here for fun right?
CHAN: yea... so... we'll continue the trip without the... fun?!!!
RACH: no!! we'll continue the trip but not as lovers but as friends (silence)
CHAN: wait!! Wait!! I have an idea!!
CHAN: we will be affair persons to the outside world...
RACH: what? What for?
CHAN: so I'll make Monica jealous
RACH: and I'll make Ross jealous!! That's cool!!
CHAN: the first moment we see them it's start!!
RACH: all right!!
CHAN: so do you want to sleep together?
CHAN: hey!! We have an affair!!
[Scene: the suite Joey is reading a paper]
JOEY:" dear... your name. I had to leave I'm sorry to drag you over here but after you paid there's nothing else to do by the way nice paying..." I know!!! "my dad called he picked me up don't worry about me on the suitcase you'll find a little cash so you'd be able to go back to your country and a... souvenir... good luck... CAROLINE"
[he opens the suitcase and gets a bra from there]
[he looks at the suitcase seeing lots and lots of money]
JOEY: eh.... [concentrating on the bra]
[Scene: the hotel. the camera focuses on a sign "DINNER TONIGHT AT 20:30-22:30" we zoom out to the dining room entrance Ross & Monica enters]
MON: what the hell does that mean?
ROSS: I don't know...
MON: why is she here?
ROSS: I don't know and I don't care!! There are important stuff now!!
ROSS: well... I tried to contact Chandler, Joey and Rachel
MON: did you message them a hi from me?
ROSS: because they're missing!!
ROSS: they're not home!! I... don't know where they are
ROSS: and the most annoying part is that I... I... I worry about them
MON: them or her?
ROSS: both... I mean where is she? Is something happened?
MON: I don't know
ROSS: I mean I... we... I don't know !!
[They get in and sit after that Chandler and Rachel are coming and noticing them they go back out side where the scene cuts to]
RACH: oh my god!! What are they doing here?
CHAN: I believe that they are... eating
RACH: from all the hotels all over the world your mom AND Ross had to pick up the same hotel!!!!
CHAN: I guess.... That's what we see!!!
RACH: what are we gonna do?
CHAN: go over there and eat?
CHAN: stay hungry?
RACH: ok we'll stay hungry!!
CHAN: or use our plan
RACH: affair plan 1?
RACH: all right...
[Cut to: Chandler and Rachel are coming in the dining room they acting like not noticing Ross and Monica which look at them in surprise they sit and kiss]
ROSS: (calling in shock) Chandler?!?!?!!?!?!
CHAN: (acting surprise) Ross?!?!!?!?!?
MON: (in shock) Rachel?!?!!?!?!?
RACH: (acting surprise) Monica?!?!?!!?
[Chandler and Rachel come to the table of Ross and Monica & join them]
ROSS: what are you doing here?
CHAN: um... we... likewise!! What are you doing here?
ROSS: I decided to move here for the 3 years with Ben, Carol and Susan as in emissary from the museum
MON: and I decided to stay as long as the bank allows it... what are you doing here?
CHAN: you know... (kissing Rachel) we are just decided to go on a trip... to think
RACH: yea... you don't know how fun is to be with a friend... a close one!
ROSS: I do...
RACH: what? Oh, yea with me! But you're wrong!! 'cause with Chandler it's different
ROSS: Chandler... don't you, don't you have Kathy as your girlfriend?
CHAN: I ended things with her
ROSS: wh... wh... why?
CHAN: you can guess...
RACH: you've heard anything from Joey or Phoebe?
ROSS: um... Monica tell them (silence) Monica? Mon?
MON: what? Huh? Oh yea I met her today I hadn't had the chance talk her we're gonna meet her at 22:00
CHAN: can me and my honey join?
[Ross and Monica glares at him]
RACH: and you've heard something from Joey?
CHAN: that's odd... I'll try to reach him later...
ROSS: what about now?
CHAN: no... later
ROSS: I asked WHAT ABOUT NOW?!!?!?!
CHAN: well... ok!
[the guys are walking out from the scene]
MON: now really what are you doing here?
RACH: holiday!! We both had a rough time and we discovered each other
RACH: he told me that he broke up with Kathy I felt compassion on him and.... we realized that we are destiny for each other and then... it's just happened
MON: (jealous) oh...
RACH: he was really depressed like she dumped him not him her...
MON: and now there's a new question... what the hell are you doing?
[cut to: the guys walking]
CHAN: my room or your room?
ROSS: your room
CHAN: no... My suit... actually me & Rachel's suite! She's so nice and pretty...
ROSS: the suite?
CHAN: too... I talked about Rachel
[going to the elevator Chandler is pressing the button]
ROSS: then how did you... Hook up?
CHAN: you know...
ROSS: no I don't!
CHAN: we were talking on my bed...
ROSS: on your bed?
ROSS: wh... why? what happened to your living room
CHAN: to much memories...
ROSS: of Kathy?
ROSS: but you dumped her
CHAN: I was forced to...
ROSS: by Kathy?
CHAN: by who else?
[the elevator door opens and Chandler and Ross are going to the suite]
CHAN: so are you really gonna be here for three years?
ROSS: I... I don't know
CHAN: well I hope you don't we really miss you
CHAN: Rach and me
(Chandler opens the door)
CHAN: welcome to my castle!! Mine and Rachy of course
(Ross looks around and sees a bra...)
ROSS: Rahcy? Is this Rachel's one? (points to the bra)
CHAN: I guess we can't remember a lot from last time if you know what I mean...
(Picks up the hook and dials)
ROSS: (mad) yes I do...
(Silence Chandler listens to the hook then hangs up)
CHAN: nobody home... I hope the chick and the duck are alright...
ROSS: (envy) so what are your plans for tonight?
CHAN: I thought that you know me better from asking me that question...
ROSS: ok Chandler that's it!! What are you doing?!?!
[Cut back to Rachel and Monica after the question]
MON: is this to make my brother envy?
RACH: no!!! Absolutely not!!
MON: then what's this all ?
RACH: I'm telling you!! We were talking in Chandler's room I lied down on his bed he did so too and then was the... most passionate kiss ever!!
[Joey is coming to the dining room he notices Rachel and Monica talking and comes behind Monica on Rachel's notice to scare her around...]
MON: but... you... supposed to be with Ross... so I thought until now
RACH: I thought that you suppose to be with Chandler but... things change
[Joey is now right behind Monica...]
MON: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (Noticing that it's Joey) what the hell are you doing here?
JOEY: I don't know... trying to eat?
MON: in this hotel, country
JOEY: I don't know I just know that I came with a girl with... (Thinking) cool breasts...
MON & RACH: Ewwww!!!
MON: ok anyway you made our job easier we need to go to the bathroom would you mind to wait for Ross & Chandler?
JOEY: they're here too? Cool!
MON: would you mind?
MON: cool! (giving him a French kiss) see you
JOEY: fine!! (They leave) what a cool hotel!! I wander where am I?
[Scene: the suite...]
CHAN: what am I doing? Taking a trip! ... No?
ROSS: I mean with the Rachel stuff!!
CHAN: how did you know about her breasts part?
ROSS: I'm serious!!! And you knew I'm serious about Rachel too!!
CHAN: not after the second time you broke up!!! Are you saying that you want her for yourself?
CHAN: then you'll have to fight with me!!
CHAN: I don't know!!! She's my girlfriend now!!
ROSS: she was mine... ever!!!
CHAN: I don't think so... she's with me now!!! I think that it's serious
ROSS: it can't be...
CHAN: why? Because you love her?
CHAN: you know what? Let's ask the lady itself!!
ROSS: ok!! How?
CHAN: each one will talk to her about 5 minutes then... she'll decide
ROSS: you seem to have much confidence in her...
CHAN: I do!!! Not like you... so it's a deal?
[Scene: the lady's bathroom, Rachel and Monica are over there]
MON: you had no right to do that to me!!
RACH: to you?
MON: I meant to my brother
RACH: why? He dumped me!!
MON: but with Chandler?
RACH: what about Chandler
MON: he... he... he is... his best friend!!
MON: I don't know!!
RACH: you sound like... you have a crush on Chandly
MON: I... me?... I don't have anything 'bout him
RACH: then what's your problem?
MON: my... brother
RACH: what the hell is wrong with you? Are you your brother?
RACH: the answer suppose to be... no
MON: no! I am not but...
RACH: if he'd like to talk to me he will, believe me.
RACH: and another tip, if you want Chandler then... don't!
MON: wh... wh... why should I want this?
RACH: ok... now I can tell that you were with Ross...
MON: (beat) why should I want THIS? Really why should I want to be with "Chandly"?
RACH: why don't you ask your self..
[Scene: the table Joey is seated alone then Ross & Chandler comes]
JOE: hey guys!
ROSS: what are YOU doing here?
JOE: I don't know... I came with a large breasts girl
CHAN: how big?
JOE: anyway and after we had sex she left me...
CHAN: with nothing?
JOE: of course not... with a suitcase full of money!! And her Bra...
JOE: and... and!! Monica just gave me a French one... I love this place!! Where are we?
ROSS: wow wow!! Woww!!!!! What was the Monica part?
CHAN: she gave him a French ki... WHAT?!!?!?!?!?
JOE: French kiss!! She gave me it!!
JOE: I think that it's bedtime for us...
CHAN: JOEY!!! What the hell are YOU doing?
JOE: did I miss something?
CHAN: the fact that Ross is her brother and that he is very furious now!
JOE: but why? Why should he? Or... are you sleeping with her?!
ROSS: EWW!!! NO!!!
CHAN: let me explain... Ross doesn't want Monica you just shouldn't talk about her with him
CHAN: well... Ross is very weird
(Chandler smiles at Ross with I've done it expression)
JOE: so Chandler!! Monica gave me a French one...
[Montage: (in the background Counting Crows- Rain King (personal preference you can change it...) Chandler is kissing Rachel Ross and Monica looks envy... Monica "frenches" Joey Chandler and Ross looks Joey gives then the "ok" sign... Ross looks like he don't know what to do. then Joey goes and we see Chandler goes after Joey and Ross goes after them then we see the girls fight near the table !when the guys not there)... then back to everyone on the table acting normal we see Monica drinks and gives the cup to Joey who drinks and looks at Chandler and Ross envy he gives them again the ok sign Rachel kisses Chandler as Ross looks envy and hides behind the table while Monica quickly kisses Joey who falls in the middle from his chair then he sees Ross under the table and does the ok sign. Close-up on Rachel- fine Ross - envy Chandler -envy Monica envy and kisses Joey and Joey does the ok sign... the music comes to the end of the chorus and fades)
(Every one waiting where Monica hit on Phoebe to Phoebe...)
MON: so... Joey! How about go to my room after we talk to Phoebe and...
JOE: um... (enthusiast) YEA!!!!
ROSS: um... Rachel? We need to talk!
RACH: well... (looks at Chandler makes her NO! sign) now I'm waiting to Phoebe!
CHAN: (interrupting) um... Hon?
CHAN: I meant Rachy!!
RACH: yes Hon!
RACH: I meant Chandly!
CHAN: anyway me and ... Xerox man need to talk to you after we talk to Phoebe!
RACH: all right...
CHAN: so Mon! want to come too?
MON: no... I an... um... unfinished business with Joey
CHAN: but Joey will come too! Right?
JOE: oh no!!!
(Chandler and Ross look at him in "YOU ARE DEAD" look. Suddenly Phoebe comes with the leather cloth from earlier)
PHOE: shhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! They'll get me!
PHOE: the men... (Looks somewhere) come on!! Let's go to someone's room I'll tell you then!
CHAN: (terrified) ok... let's go to my room... I mean suite... I mean our.... I mean me and Rachy's
[Scene: the suite everyone is there Phoebe finishes to tell the story]
PHOE: ... and then the supposable hidden camera man told me no to use the money so I ran away from the Mafia to... here!
PHOE: I used the money duh!!
MON: the Mafia money?
PHOE: yea!! Why...
MON: honey... it was really hidden camera
PHOE: what? How do you know?
MON: the news paper
PHOE: you mean that... I've used the television money!!?
PHOE: oh my god!!!
RACH: don't worry Pheebs
CHAN: yea! It's their fault!!!
JOE: yea!! Totally!!
PHOE: oh my god!!
PHOE: if NOW I've used the money then... NOW they're after me!!
(Phoebe is Running away hysterically)
RACH: what the hell was...
ROSS: I don't know... weird!!
JOE: so what happens now??
CHAN: I... I don't know!!
RACH: I guess that we should wait for her
MON: yea! right!
(Time lapse- all the gang (Phoebe- not included!) Are in the royal suit exhausted)
JOE: (Tired) and what's now?
MON: I think that we should go to sleep
CHAN: oh... o.k.!
ROSS: well... I have to talk to Rachel and Chandler so...
JOE: that fine!! I can wait!!
MON: me too!
MON: well... fine! Joey! Can I sleep in your room tonight? (everyone look at her with surprise)
JOE (Tired): I'm pretty exhausted but... (wakes up) fine!!
MON: all right!!
RACH: so.. what do you guys want?
ROSS: well Rachel we...
CHAN: WAW!! WAW! WAIT A MINUTE!!
CHAN: we will talk to her but each one in his turn!
ROSS: fine! But shouldn't we give her the subject or something?
RACH: What is it? Jeopardy?
CHAN: no... I'll explain it to you... alone!
CHAN: I will talk to her now!!
ROSS: why do you first?!
CHAN: I am the boyfriend!!
RACH: it's a privilege that you have already lost!!
ROSS: b but
CHAN: (next to a door of a room) are you coming Rach?
RACH: all right!
[Cut to: inside the room CHAN & RACH enter]
RACH: then what that's about?
CHAN: (calm-down) well the deal is that (Hysterically) Ross wants to come back with you but Monica still don't care about me so Please please!! Please!!!! Explain him the situation or something or just stay with me so Monica will stay with me 'cause I really really REALLY!!! Want her
CHAN: um (Hysterically) Ross wants to come back with you but Monica still don't care about me so Please please!! Please!!!! Explain him the situation or something or just stay with me so Monica will stay with me 'cause I really really REALLY!!! Want her so PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!!
[CUT TO: later outside the room Chandler comes outside Ross seems to be pretty upset about him]
CHAN: good luck
ROSS: you too
[CUT TO: later, Ross is out]
CHAN: so? (silence) So? (silence) SO?!?! You can answer me!! (silence)
ROSS: (slowly, not looking on Chandler) she wants to take a little time to think
CHAN: that's fine! (silence)
ROSS: (slowly not quite interested) so how are you?
CHAN: fine! And how are you?
ROSS: (after a silence) fine! Fine (Interested) how did you & Rach end up here?
CHAN: well just did! How did you and Monica?
ROSS: just did (Silence) um (more "lively") actually it's Ben
CHAN: Ben? (Interested) how?
ROSS: well as you know Susan and Carol moved to here and
[Cut to: later]
ROSS: really? Joey was THAT drunk?
CHAN: I'm telling you I could smell his breath from my room
ROSS: and he took
CHAN: only underpants
ROSS: to London? (Laughing)
(Rachel is coming out from the room)
ROSS & CHAN: hi
RACH: I made my decision
[Fade to black... to be continue title on the screen] Closing Credits
[Scene: Phoebe running in the hotel holding a camera in her hand chased by a man and a woman]
MAN: Miss.!! Miss.!! Stop!!!!
WOMAN: we don't have a weapon!!!
PHOE: I'm not falling for that again!!!
PHOE: I know you!! Mulder!! Scully!!
MAN: we're not them!!
PHOE: how could I know?
(the MAN and the WOMAN staring each other)
MAN: look!! We just want one thing!!
PHOE: I know!!! the money back!!
WOMAN: no!!! we only want our camera back!! We didn't think that that would scare you so much!!
MAN: yea!!! Al we wanted is a picture
PHOE: ok!! (stops, throws the Camera towards them they stop too)
MAN: what the hell had you done?
WOMAN: oh my god!! You broke our camera!!
MAN: you little
(the man and the woman keep chasing after Phoebe) To Be Continued Next on E's fake "Friends" episodes: Chandler and Monica or maybe Chandler and Rachel or maybe Rachel and Ross or maybe Chandler and Ross (kidding, kidding) or maybe Monica and Joey? Will Phoebe stay ok or the TV people will catch her? What with the Chick and The duck?! And finally Will they go back to the apartments?