(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. Monica is getting ready to go out, cleaning up as she walks through the room.)

MON: Why does Rachel never clean up? Is it because she has a disability? No. Is it because she's lazy? Probably. Does she even know how to clean up? I doubt it!

(Rachel comes out of her room)

RACH: Hi.

MON: Rachel, can you put some gas in the car for me?

RACH: Why can't you?

MON: I'm going out.

RACH: Can't you fill up the tank then?

MON: Nope. I'm going out with Chandler, so we're taking his car.

RACH: Well, I'm busy.

MON: All afternoon?

RACH: Yup.

MON: Are you just being lazy again?

RACH: No…I have a reason, but I can't tell you.

MON: Yes, you can.

RACH: Okay…I've never told you this, but…

MON: What?

RACH: I can't drive.

MON: What?! You're kidding?

RACH: No.

MON: How do you get to places? Do you get a bus?

RACH: Yeah right! I get a taxi.

MON: Oh…Well, you have to learn.

RACH: I guess…

MON: You do! Then you can fill up the tank.

RACH: Okay, I'll get a teacher. I'll find one today.

MON: Good. Now, I'm going out. I'll be back around 4 o'clock.

RACH: Okay. Bye.

MON: Bye.

(Monica leaves)

(Rachel picks up the phone, and dials)

RACH: Hello operator? Can you give me the numbers of, like, driving people? (pause) What do you mean, you don't understand? I need someone to teach me to drive! (pause) I don't care if you're not at liberty to give them out? I need those numbers! (pause) No, this is not a prank call! (pause) Hello? Hello?

(She hangs up)

RACH: I need to find the phone book. (she looks round the room) No, I need to go shopping!

(She grabs her coat and walks out)

OPENING CREDITS

(SCENE: Central Perk, the next day. Chandler, Joey & Rachel are sitting down talking.)

(Monica enters)

ALL: Hey Mon!

MON: Hi.

RACH: Guess what?

MON: What?

RACH: I got me a teacher?

MON: You did? That's great! Who!

CHAN: Me.

MON: You?

RACH: Yup. Chandler offered to teach me.

JOEY: Actually, I offered, but she didn't seem too happy about that! I wonder why…

(Rachel smiles awkwardly)

RACH: No reason in particular. You know how it is.

JOEY: Not really. Oh, and 'particular'? What's that all about?

CHAN: You really don't know what particular means?

JOEY: I can barely say it.

MON: I'll get a dictionary. (she goes and gets it) (reading) Particular- belonging to a single or specific person, thing or category. Something that is special to a single person, thing or category. (she stops reading) Did that help?

JOEY(sarcastic): Oh yeah. Totally understand. Cleared it up real good.

(Monica smiles sarcastically)

RACH: Chandler, don't we have to get going?

MON: What?

RACH: First lesson.

MON: Now?

CHAN: Yeah! Is that okay?

MON(lying): Sure! Why wouldn't it be okay? No, I don't mind. Not at all. Nope, nope, nope.

CHAN: Okay…See ya later, honey.

(He kisses her goodbye)

RACH: Chandler! C'mon!

(They leave)

JOEY: You okay?

MON: I'm fine!

JOEY: Just asking. No need to bite my head off.

(Ross & Phoebe enter)

JOEY: Hey, you two! Where ya been?

PHOE: Ross showed me round the museum! It is sooo incredible! I had a totally fun time!

ROSS: And tomorrow, I'm gonna show her the moth cupboard! Exciting!

PHOE: Can't wait…

ROSS: Um, I have to pick up Ben, but Phoebs?

PHOE: Yeah?

ROSS: Keep reading those books I gave you!

MON: What books?

ROSS: Ladybird dinosaur books.

MON(sarcastic): Fun!

ROSS(totally serious): Uh-huh! Gotta go! (makes a roaring noise, and gives Phoebe the thumbs up)

(She gives Ross the thumbs up back)

(Ross leaves)

PHOE: Monica, help me!

MON: What's wrong?

PHOE: I went to the museum to give Ross his lunch because he forgot it, and he got all excited and started showing me the exhibits! And now he thinks I love dinosaur-museum stuff!

MON: Can't you just tell him?

PHOE: No! That'd rude!

JOEY: Are you gonna be a dinosaur freak too?

PHOE: No! I hate dinosaurs! I don't wanna see the moth cabinet. (pauses) Ooh, hang on. I think I have to do something tomorrow! What is it? Oh great, I've forgotten.

MON: Don't you have to see your memory enhancement therapist?

PHOE: Yes! Thankyou Monica, you've saved me!

MON: I wouldn't say that!

PHOE: Ooh, yes! You have! In fact, I've forgotten what I have to do tomorrow with Ross already! (the others smile, but Phoebe's face becomes worried) No really, I have!

(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. Monica, Ross & Joey are sitting down, talking)

(Chandler & Rachel enter, laughing)

RACH: You are so funny!

CHAN(in a daring voice): I know…

(Rachel cracks up)

MON: Hi.

CHAN: Hey sweetie! (he kisses her) Oh! Funny story.

RACH: You're not gonna tell it! You can't!

MON: What? Why?

CHAN: Rachel had a little accident.

MON: Is the car okay?

(Rachel bursts out laughing, and Chandler pushes her)

RACH: Ow!

CHAN: Anyway, Rachel was trying to get out of the car for a break, and she just…fell out!

(They both crack up. Monica is smiling, not very amused, and Joey and Ross are smiling politely)

JOEY: So, did the lesson go okay otherwise?

(Chandler & Rachel continue to laugh)

RACH: I…can't…breathe!

(Chandler slaps her on the back, causing them to laugh harder)

RACH(between giggles): Chandler!

(The two see the others sitting there, and calm down a bit)

CHAN: Sorry, got a little carried away there!

ROSS: Uh, yeah!

MON: I'm glad the lesson went so well. You clearly had fun.

RACH: Monica, I love this guy (points to Chandler)!

MON: Oh. Well, that's funny, you know, cos so do I.

CHAN: I have to go anyway! Bye Rach! Bye guys!

(Monica's jaw drops as he walks out)

(He walks back in, and gives Monica a big kiss)

CHAN: See ya, Mon.

MON(breathless):Bye…

(Chandler leaves)

RACH: Actually, I have to get to work. Bye guys!

(She leaves)

ROSS: Did anyone notice anything a little strange about those two?

PHOE: Well, I dunno about Chandler, but Rachel's top totally didn't match her shoes!

ROSS: That's not quite what I meant. Don't you think those two are acting kinda friendly?

MON: No!

ROSS: Oh please! They were acting like a couple…(realises what he said, and sees Monica looking upset) A couple of idiots! Not a couple, a couple of weirdo's!

MON: It's okay, Ross. That's actually what I was thinking.

PHOE: Well, if Rachel were gonna get together with one of us, I'd say it'd be Joey.

JOEY: What?! Why?

PHOE: Cos you two are like, I dunno, the next-door neighbours! It's bound to happen sometime!

JOEY(interested): Really? You think?

PHOE: Oh definitely!

ROSS: Well, I think you're wrong, Phoebe!

JOEY: You're just jealous cos Rach likes me!

ROSS: But she doesn't!

JOEY: That's what you think…

(Ross sits down on the sofa, tired out)

JOEY: Ha!

MON: Joey, shutup!

JOEY: Sorry, Mon.

(A phone rings)

JOEY: That's my new cell phone!

ALL: Wow! Cool!

JOEY(answering the phone): Hello? (pause) Oh, hey man! What d'ya want? (pause) I can do that! (pause) Sure…(he hangs up) (to others) We have to go now!

(They get up to leave)

JOEY: Not you, Monica! You stay here…

MON: Okay…(she sits back down)

(Monica looks very confused. The others leave)

(Knock on the door)

(Monica opens the door, to find Chandler standing there with flowers)

MON: For me?

CHAN(sarcastic): No actually, they're for Rachel.(he smiles, serious) Of course they're for you.

MON: Thanks. C'mon in.

(She closes the door behind him as he enters, and she starts to run water from the taps)

CHAN: What ya doin?

MON: Put these flowers in some water.

CHAN: Oh.

MON: So, how'd the driving lesson go? Still finding it hilarious?

CHAN: I had a great time. Rachel is a lot of fun.

MON: Oh.

CHAN: Are you upset with me?

MON(lying): Of course not…

CHAN: What's wrong? Is it because me and Rachel had fun today, and you feel left out?

MON: Kinda…Yeah, it is.

CHAN: Do you want me to stop teaching her to drive?

MON: No! Of course not. Don't be silly.

CHAN: I'm glad you said that. Hey, now we've got the whole place to ourselves, why don't we sit down and relax together?

MON: Relax? How are we gonna relax then?

CHAN: Well, some music for a start.

MON: Music? Well, I hope you've come prepared, because we don't have any romantic music. Unless Rachel's South Park album counts.

(Chandler smiles)

CHAN: Well, as a matter of a fact, I think I feel a tape in my jacket pocket! (looks surprised) Let's see what it is! (he takes it out) What a coincidence! 50 Greatest Love Songs…How'd that get there?!

(Monica laughs)

CHAN: Of course, we'll have to dim the lights.

MON: Of course!

CHAN: And then, I need a gorgeous girl to spend the evening with, which I guess I already have, so we're all set!

MON: Great.

(Chandler puts on the music, and they sit down together)

(The phone rings)

CHAN: Oh, for crying out loud! This took me ages to plan!

(Monica picks up the phone)

MON: Hello? (pause) Joey! What d'you want? (pause) No, I don't have any Ready Brek! Why? (pause) Oh. Okay, Jo. (pause) No, no, don't worry about it.

(She hangs up)

CHAN: What did Joey want?

MON: He wants some Ready Brek for the duck or something…I dunno. Anyway, he said he hoped he hadn't ruined the evening.

CHAN: Oh well that's good of him!

MON: Chandler! Leave him alone…

CHAN: Yeah, yeah. Now where were we? Oh, I remember. We were here…

(He kisses her)

CLOSING CREDITS

(END SCENE: Next day, at Monica & Rachel's. The living room is empty)

(Ross rushes in)

ROSS: Monica! Are you here?

(Monica comes out of her room, in her dressing room)

MON: What? Ross, what's wrong?

ROSS: I think Emily's here.

MON: In the apartment?

ROSS: No! In New York!

MON: What makes you say that?

ROSS: Well when I woke up, I found a note from Emily with no post mark!

MON: What did it say?

ROSS: It said: Ross, I'm in New York. I'm gonna drop by later. From Emily.

MON: So she is in New York?

ROSS: Yes! (sees Monica's dressing gown) Are you not alone?

MON: Um, Chandler's here, actually.

ROSS: Oh. Well, I better go then.

MON: Are you gonna be okay?

ROSS: Yeah, fine.

MON: Bye.

(She hugs him)

(Ross leaves)

(Chandler comes out of Monica's room)

CHAN: Oh, well that explains it then.

MON: Explains what?

CHAN: Well, it explains why when me and Rachel were driving through the city that we saw a girl that looked a lot like Emily.

MON: And you didn't tell me?

CHAN: Well, I didn't think it'd be Emily! I'm not Mr Psychic Guy!

MON: More like Mr Psycho Guy…

CHAN: Ha ha ha.

MON: Anyway, what're we gonna do?

CHAN: Nothing. Go back to bed, maybe. Make some breakfast.

MON: About Emily!

CHAN: Oh…I dunno.

(Monica rolls her eyes)

END