The One With The Competitiveness

Written by: Andy1251

[[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is actually at the stove. Monica looks in, and gasps.]]

RACHEL: What, what is it, Mon?

MONICA: You! You're at my stove! Cooking!

RACHEL: Why are you so surprised?

MONICA: I just thought that you didn't like to cook...

RACHEL: Actually, Central Perk needed some more recipes, so I decided to try to cook.

MONICA: And you didn't ask me?!

RACHEL: I thought you wouldn't care.

MONICA: Rachel!! I'm a chef! Cooking is my life!

RACHEL (realises what she did): Huh. I guess it was stupid of me not to ask you. Oh well.

MONICA (angrily, stressing): "Oh well?"

RACHEL: Gunther gave me the job already. There's not much that you could do.

MONICA: I'll tell you what I'm going to do!

RACHEL: That's good, because I have no idea what you're going to do.

MONICA: I'm going to cook my own meals and give them to Gunther! It'll be a cook-off!

RACHEL: Are you sure that's a good idea? You know how you can get when you ---

[[Rachel is cut off by Monica]]

MONICA: You're going down, Green!


[[Scene: Central Perk. The gang's all there.]]

PHOEBE: So, I ran through and kicked his ass!

CHANDLER: That's so cool, Phoebs! You're a hero now!

PHOEBE: I am? Oh, you're right! I am!

ROSS: Yeah, I mean, not everyone can take down a criminal in New York.

JOEY: Hey, you know, that'd be a cool scene in a movie.

MONICA: I think Joey has an idea!

JOEY (sarcastic): Yeah, right.

RACHEL: So, Phoebs, what did the police say?

PHOEBE (mimicking the cop): "We appreciate your help, miss." Then they left.

CHANDLER: There was no reward?

PHOEBE: The cop said the satisfaction of taking the criminal down would be my reward. What a gyp!

ALL: I'm sorry. Aww.

MONICA: Oh, hey, Rach, how's your cooking going?

RACHEL: Just fine, thank you. I've got four recipes done already.

MONICA (disgusted): You only have 4 done? I've got 7!

RACHEL: Mon, we made the bet an hour ago. I'm not going to work myself over this. Gunther gave me a deadline.

MONICA (curious): He, he did? When is this deadline?

RACHEL: No, no, no. I am not telling you.

MONICA: C'mon, Rach! I'll be your best friend!

RACHEL: You already are my best friend!

[[Ross watch beeps.]]

ROSS: Oh, I've gotta go. Later!

[[Ross gets up and leaves.]]

JOEY: Where's he going?

MONICA: He has some type of presentation, or something.

PHOEBE: Speaking of leaving, I have to do that, too.

RACHEL: You're giving a presentation?

PHOEBE: No, I'm leaving.

[[Phoebe gets up and leaves.]]

CHANDLER: So, are you ready for tonight, Monica?

MONICA: I'm sorry, honey, but I've got to cook.

CHANDLER: You're going to be cooking the whole night?

[[Rachel snickers. Monica looks at her, then back at Chandler.]]

MONICA: Yeah, I'll make it up to you later.

CHANDLER: When is later?

MONICA: Chandler, if I get this cooking deal with Central Perk, we'll have much more money than we do now. And money leads to other things.

CHANDLER: Like what? (Realises): Ohhhh...


[[Scene: Ross' office. There are a few businessmen there, sitting.]]

ROSS: Okay, if you're ready, I'll begin.

[[The Businessmen nod.]]

ROSS: Okay, then.

[[Ross gets out some notecards. He flips through them, and they all fall and get out of order. He scrambles to the floor.]]

ROSS: One moment, please. We're having..nontechnical difficulties!

[[The businessmen murmur amongst themselves. Cut to Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Monica are cooking side by side. Rachel starts to leave.]]

MONICA: Where are you going?

RACHEL: Bathroom.

[[Rachel enters the bathroom. Monica looks around frantically and grabs a jar. She pours it into Rachel's pot. She hears Rachel open the door, and she places everything back where they used to be.]]

MONICA: So, how was the bathroom?

RACHEL: It was just like your ordinary bathroom.

[[Monica continues to cook happily. Cut to Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the counter cooking, and Joey walks out.]]

JOEY: Hey, Chandler.

[[He continues to walk, but stops as he sees Chandler cooking.]]

JOEY: What are you doing?

CHANDLER: I'm helping Monica. I'm thinknig that if I help her cook, she'll be done earlier, and we'll be able to do other things.

JOEY: Like what?

[[Chandler glares at Joey.]]

JOEY: Ohhhh, that other thing.

CHANDLER: Okay, I'm done.

[[He takes a spoon out of the pan, and walks across the hall to Monica and Rachel's and enters.]]

MONICA: Hey, Chandler!


CHANDLER: I've got a surprise for you!

MONICA: Can it wait until later? I'm a little busy now.

CHANDLER: That wasn't the response I was expecting.

RACHEL: I'm sorry, Chandler. But you know Monica.

CHANDLER: Yes, I do know her. That's why I cooked for her so she could get done earlier.

MONICA: Aw, honey, that's sweet!

[[Monica tastes what he cooked, and spits it into a napkin.]]

MONICA: And that's not!


[[Scene: Ross' office. All of the businessmen leave, except one.]]

ROSS: It's over! You can go.

BUSINESSMAN (laughing): Thank, you, Mr. Gellar. That was the most entertaining presentation I had in awhile.

ROSS (a little annoyed): Thank you..

[[Cut to Rachel and Monica's. Ross enters.]]

MONICA (not looking up from the stove): Hey, how'd the presentation go?

CHANDLER (puzzled): How does she do that? (Chandler makes a face.)

MONICA: I saw that!

ROSS: It's this weird thing she does.

MONICA: How was the presentation?

ROSS: I don't want to talk about it.

RACHEL: Why not?

ROSS: I made a total fool of myself! It was so embarrassing!

CHANDLER: That's funny. I thought you would've gotten used to being embarrassed by now.

[[Ross glares at Chandler.]]

RACHEL: Oh! Oh! I've gotta go!

CHANDLER (matching her "rhyme"): Are you late...for a very important date?

RACHEL: I've gotta get these into Gunther!

MONICA: Oh, no you don't!

[[Monica gets all her recipes together. Cut to Central Perk. Rachel and Monica run up to the door, enter, pushing each other out of the way.]]

GUNTHER: There you are. I was wondering where you've been.

RACHEL: Sorry, lost track of time.

GUNTHER: And I see you got Monica to help!

RACHEL: Not exactly.

MONICA: I made my own recipes! That job should be mine!

GUNTHER: I'm sorry, Monica, but Rachel came to me first. Hey, do you mind if I try some?

RACHEL: Go ahead.

[[Rachel hands Gunther a pot. It's the one that Monica poured something into. Gunther eats it. Monica grins.]]

GUNTHER: I like it!

[[Monica's grin changes.]]


[[Scene: Central Perk. The gang sits.]]

MONICA: I can't believe he liked it!

RACHEL: I can't believe you spiked it! What are you, in the third grade?

ROSS: You should have seen her in the third grade.


MONICA: I could beat him up.

ROSS: No, no you couldn't! And don't change the subject!

MONICA: What subject?

JOEY: We're talking about your competitive deal.

MONICA: You're right, I'm sorry. Am I really that bad?

ALL: Yes!

MONICA: I'll try to stop. Really.

ALL: Yeah, right.

[[Monica looks at them as we fade out.]]