THE ONE WITH CHANDLER & MONICA'S WEDDING- PART TWO


Written by: Ethan

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.


WEDDING RECEPTION (Ross and Rachel are slow dancing on the dance floor, Joey and Jenna are sitting down at the head table, Phoebe and Michael are at the bar and Chandler and Monica are walking around thanking everyone for coming)

Ross: Huh, it's funny, I always thought I'd get married before my little sister.

Rachel: Ross, you've been married three times already.

Ross: No. I mean, I thought I'd be married for good.

Rachel: If I hadn't left Barry at the altar, I'd be married for seven years by now.

Ross: I wonder if we'd stayed together if we'd be married now.

Rachel: Huh? Do you still think about us?

Ross (lying): Ah, no not really.

Rachel (deflated): Oh.

Ross (quickly changing the subject): Do you want to get a drink or something?

Rachel: Yeah, I could use a bottle, I mean a glass of wine.

(Cut to Joey and Jenna at the head table)

Jenna: Don't you wanna dance Joey?

Joey (stuffing his mouth with food): No, I wanna eat. I am starving.

Jenna: You've been eating for over an hour, aren't you full yet?

Joey: No. I am thirsty though, could you get me another beer?

Jenna: Only if you dance with me first.

Joey: Alright, it's a deal.

(Jenna leads Joey to the dance floor and they begin to dance. We find out why Joey didn't want to dance. He's not any good. Jenna is embarrassed and tries to get Joey off the floor).

Jenna: Joe, let's go get you that beer.

Joey: Aw come on Jenna, I am having fun. You wanted to dance, so let's dance.

(Cut to Phoebe and Michael at the bar)

Phoebe: I am so drunk.

Michael: You've only had one Long Island Ice Tea.

Phoebe: You don't know me at all. (Phoebe walks away leaving Michael in a state of disbelief)

(Cut to Chandler and Monica who are thanking Richard for coming)

Monica: Thanks for coming Richard, I really appreciate it. (Monica hugs Richard as Chandler cringes)

Richard: I wouldn't have missed it. You're a lucky man Chandler. Take good care of her.

Chandler: Thanks Richard (Chandler quickly pulls Monica away). Come on honey, we've got to say thank you to the other guests.

Monica (as they are walking away): Chandler, you won. We're married now. I told you I don't have feelings for Richard anymore.

Chandler: I know, I'm just so excited for you to meet my dad.

(Cut to Rachel and Ross at the bar. Rachel is drunk, Ross is on his way as well)

Ross: I can't believe I'm 31 years old, thrice divorced with a kid whose mother is a lesbian.

Rachel: Speaking of lesbians, where are Carol and Susan?

Ross: They're on the dance floor. You can't miss them, they're the only two women dancing close together.

Rachel: You know what Ross, I bet you $100 that in one year we'll both be married.

Ross: Yeah right. I am not getting married again.

Rachel: Not even to me?

Ross: Aw Rach, I'd always be willing to marry you.

Rachel: Then lets get married one year from today.

Ross: What?

Rachel: You and me. We should get married. We're best friends after all. We've already slept together 298 times and I'm your sister's best friend. What more could you want?

Ross: We've already been married. Actually, we got married the last time you and I got drunk together. And as I recall, you were the one who wanted the divorce so bad.

Rachel: I don't care. That's in the past. I say we do it. Marry me. (Rachel puts her arms around Ross and kisses him)

Ross (pushing Rachel away): Are you sure you want to do that?

Rachel: Don't you find me sexy?

Ross: I have always found you sexy.

Rachel (pulling Ross close to her): Well why don't we go back to Chandler & Monica's and start practicing for our honeymoon.

Ross (pushing Rachel away again): We shouldn't, we're both drunk.

Rachel (pulling Ross in close again): Ross, I love you. I want you now.

Ross: I can't resist that. (Rachel and Ross leave the reception).

(it's now the end of the reception. Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Michael, and Jenna are the only ones left)

Monica: Where are Ross and Rachel?

Joey: The last time I saw them they were at the bar.

Chandler: Oh no.

Phoebe: What's wrong?

Chandler: Every time those two get drunk together something always happens.

Jenna: Like what?

Chandler: Well, in Las Vegas a year ago they wound up getting married.

Michael: They got married in Vegas? I thought they were both single.

Monica: They are. They got a divorce.

Joey: Maybe they're doing it.

Jenna: Joey!

Joey: Sorry, maybe they are making love.

Phoebe: I knew this was going to happen.

Chandler: You knew what was going to happen?

Phoebe: Those two are still in love with each other.

Monica: That's why Phoebe and I told Rachel to ask Ross to be her date at the wedding.

Joey: Chandler and I told Ross to ask Rachel, but love had nothing to do with it. We just didn't want him hanging around us all day.

CHANDLER & MONICA'S (Ross and Rachel are passed out on Chandler & Monica's bed. They are under the covers completely naked. Chandler and Monica enter the apartment)

Monica: Are you sure you got the tickets?

Chandler: Yes Mon, I have them right here. (points to coat pocket)

Monica: Alright, I just have to get our luggage out of our room, and we'll be ready to go. (Monica enters the bedroom and turns on the light. She screams) Oh My God!

Chandler (rushing over to the bedroom): What is it?

(Ross and Rachel were awakened by Monica's scream)

Rachel: Mon, what are you doing here? I thought you were going on your honeymoon.

Ross: Hi Monica, Chandler. This isn't what you think it is.

Monica: What are you guys doing naked in our bed?

Chandler: Are you two playing post office?

Monica: Shut up Chandler! What are you guys doing?

Rachel (who is still not sober, neither is Ross): We were practicing for our honeymoon.

Chandler: Honeymoon?

Ross: Yeah, we're getting married one year from today. We'll share the same anniversary date as you guys, isn't that great?

Monica: Chandler, can I talk to you outside for a minute?

(Monica and Chandler exit their bedroom to the kitchen)

Monica: They're both drunk and they've been having sex in our bed.

Chandler: So?

Monica: So?! That's all you can say? They're naked in our bed.

(Joey enters)

Joey: Hey, what's up?

Chandler: Rachel and Ross are naked in the bedroom.

Joey: Cool, can I sneak a peak?

Monica: No!

Joey: Sorry, just asking.

Chandler: So what are we going to do Mon? We have to get to the airport soon or we're going to miss our flight.

Monica: Joey, can you make sure they don't do anything else stupid?

Joey: Sure. (pause) How am I going to do that?

Monica: Just make sure they don't leave here tonight.

Joey: Alright.

Chandler: Come on Monica, we have to go.

Monica: Bye Joey, see you in a week.

Joey: Bye Mon, bye Chandler. Oh Chandler, don't forget to get lei'd. (Joey laughs)

Monica: He'll get plenty of that Joey.

Chandler: He was making a joke about the flowers you get when you get off the plane.

Monica (now embarrassed): Oh. I knew that.

(Monica and Chandler leave. Joey walks over to the bedroom door and peaks in at Ross and Rachel, they're both passed out).

THE NEXT MORNING (Chandler & Monica's bedroom. Ross and Rachel are waking up. Ross awakes to find an arm on his chest)

Ross (to himself): Whose arm is this? (looks over to see that is Rachel) Oh my God, what have I done?

(Rachel awakes and finds Ross staring at her)

Rachel (surprised): What are you doing here? (she looks under the covers) Oh my God, I'm naked. Did we have sex last night?

Ross: I think so.

Rachel: God my head hurts. How much did we drink?

Ross: Enough to wind up in bed together. Do you remember what happened?

Rachel: I remember the wedding and I remember being at the reception drinking with you. What do you remember?

Ross: I remember the same thing. How did we wind up here?

Rachel: I don't know.

Ross: Neither do I.

(Ross and Rachel just stare at one another for a moment)

Rachel: I need some aspirin. I am gonna get up. Could you look the other way?

Ross: Sure. (Ross turns his head and looks away. As Rachel gets out of bed, he turns his head slightly to catch a glimpse of Rachel). Could you bring me some too?

Rachel (now wrapped in Monica's robe): Sure, I'll be right back. (Rachel leaves the bedroom to find Joey sitting at the kitchen table).

Joey: Well if it isn't one of the two lovebirds. How was your night? Congratulations on your engagement by the way. (Joey laughs)

Rachel: What did you say?

Joey: I said congratulations on your and Ross' engagement.

Rachel: We're not engaged. Don't be ridiculous.

Joey: That's not what you told Chandler and Monica last night.

Rachel: What? (now she realizes what happened yesterday). Oh my God. I'll be right back. (Rachel rushes off to Chandler & Monica's bedroom)

Joey: Take your time. I'll still be here.

Ross: Did you bring the aspirin?

Rachel: Ross, not now. I remember how we got here.

Ross: How?

Rachel: Do you remember me asking you to marry me?

Ross: No. (pause) Oh my God.

Rachel: I know. I then suggested we go practice for our honeymoon.

Ross: Practice for our honeymoon?

Rachel: Have sex Ross!

Ross: We'll then we definitely practiced.

Rachel: Oh my God, I am so embarrassed.

Ross: Why are you embarrassed? It's not like this hasn't happened before. Remember how we got married?

Rachel: That's different, we thought it would be funny to get married that time.

Ross: You don't want to marry me now?

Rachel: No!

Ross (hurt, but why? You'll find out soon enough) You didn't even give it any thought.

Rachel: What's there to think about. We're not even dating. This is just another strange chapter in our friendship. You know I say stupid things when I've been drinking.

Ross: So you don't love me?

Rachel: Of course I love you, (pause) but not in that kind of way. I thought we both had moved on.

Ross (lying): I have totally moved on. Why don’t you go out and get the aspirin? I'll get dressed.

Rachel: So are we cool?

Ross (lying again): Totally. I'm sorry this happened Rach.

Rachel (lying): Me too.

CENTRAL PERK (Joey and Phoebe are talking on the couch)

Joey: I'm telling ya, they spent the night together.

Phoebe: Did they get back together?

Joey: I don't know.

Phoebe: How come you never know anything?

Joey: I have to be told things directly and nobody ever does that.

(Ross and Rachel enter)

Ross: Hey guys, what's up?

Phoebe: I could ask you two the same thing.

Rachel: There's nothing going on. It was a mistake.

Ross: Right, a mistake.

Joey: So you guys aren't getting married anymore?

Rachel: No, we're not even dating. We've both moved on.

Phoebe (under her breath): Neither of you has.

Ross: What did you say Pheebs?

Phoebe: I said that's great that you both have moved on.

ONE WEEK LATER (Chandler & Monica have returned from their honeymoon)

CHANDLER & MONICA'S (Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are talking at the table)

Monica: So nothing is going on between you and Ross.

Rachel: No, it was just a drunken mistake. You know me and alcohol, I say and do stupid things.

Monica: So you're really serious, nothing is going on.

Rachel: No, I love your brother, but I don't want to marry him.

Monica: I didn't say anything about marriage.

Rachel (panicked): I know, I was just saying that I love your brother as a friend.

Phoebe: Rachel, do you still have feelings for Ross?

Rachel: No. (puts her head in her arms)

Monica: You do, don't you?

Rachel: Yes. I have spent the whole week avoiding Ross because I can't stop thinking about him.

Phoebe: Why don't you just tell him how you feel?

Rachel: Because I don't want to find out if I'm the only one with feelings.

Monica: I think he still loves you.

Rachel: How do you know?

Monica: I can't tell you.

Rachel: Mon, you don't tell someone that and then not tell them why you know.

Monica: I can't tell you, I promised Ross I wouldn't. Oops, I've said too much.

Rachel: Ross told you?

Monica: Yes. He still has feelings for you.

Rachel: When did he tell you?

Monica: A month ago. He said he wanted to ask you out again but was afraid that you'd say no. He still thinks your mad at him about that "we were on a break" thing.

Rachel: Oh my God.

Phoebe: So what are you going to do?

Rachel: I don't know. Maybe I should talk to Ross.

Monica: That's a good idea.

CENTRAL PERK (Ross, Joey and Chandler are talking on the couch)

Ross: Have you guys seen Rachel lately? She's been avoiding me ever since the day after the wedding.

Chandler: I haven't seen her, but I just got back.

Joey: I had lunch with her yesterday. She seemed fine to me. Maybe you shouldn't have slept with her.

Ross: I realize that now.

Chandler: Ross, is there something you need to tell us?

Ross: No.

Joey: Then why are you so obsessed with Rachel? I haven't seen you like this since before you and Rachel started dating.

Ross: I am fine. I just don't want to lose my friendship with her over this incident.

Chandler: Anything else?

Ross: That and I am still in love with her.

Joey: So you really do want to marry her in a year.

Ross: Not in a year, but someday.

Chandler: Have you talked to her about this?

Ross: No, she's been avoiding me.

Joey: Maybe you should've said something to her before you slept with her.

Ross (sarcastically): Thanks Joey, I hadn't thought of that.

ROSS' APARTMENT (Ross is reading on his couch, there's a knock at the door)

Ross: Coming. (Ross opens the door). Rachel, what are you doing here?

Rachel: What, a friend can't stop by to say hello.

Ross: Well I haven't seen you all week.

Rachel: I know, I'm sorry about that. Can I come in?

Ross: Sure, I am sorry. What's up?

Rachel: I need to talk to you.

Ross: About what?

Rachel: About what happened last week.

Ross: I thought we agreed that it was a mistake.

Rachel: Oh.

Ross (noticing Rachel's disappointment): Was there something else?

Rachel: Um, no. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I'll see you later.

Ross: Rach, wait. I didn't get to tell you what I need to tell you.

Rachel: Ok, I'm sorry I forgot. What is it?

Ross (takes a deep breath): Ok. There's only one way to do this. (Ross grabs Rachel's hand). Rach, will you go out on a date with me?

Rachel (trying to act surprised): What?

Ross: Will you go out on a date with me?

Rachel: Are you asking me out?

Ross: For the third time, will you go out with me on a date?

Rachel: Yes.

Ross: I didn't think so. (pause) Did you say yes?

Rachel: Yes, I will. I still love you and I don't care about our past anymore.

Ross: Oh my God, I was so afraid you'd say no.

Rachel: Monica told me that you wanted to ask me out a month ago. Why did you wait?

Ross: Monica told you. I'm gonna kill her.

Rachel: Well you should know better than to confide in Monica. Unless that was your plan all along, to have Monica slip up.

Ross: You know me too well.

Rachel: How about we start our date right now?

Ross: What did you have in mind? (Rachel whispers something in Ross' ear) I don't do that on the first date Rach. (Rachel whispers something else in Ross' ear) But I can make an exception. (Ross and Rachel go to Ross' bedroom).

CLOSING CREDITS

CENTRAL PERK (The next day, Joey, Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are sitting down.)

Chandler: Has anyone seen Ross or Rachel?

Phoebe: Rachel didn't come home last night.

Joey: I bet Ross and Rachel are doing it.

Monica: Joey!

Joey: Sorry, I bet they are making love.

Monica: Joey!

Joey: What?

Monica: Don't talk about your friends that way.

Joey: Why not? Chandler does it all the time. (Monica glares at Chandler)

(Ross and Rachel enter holding hands)

Monica: Are you two back together?

Rachel: Yes. Isn't it great.

Chandler: So what did you two do last night?

Ross: We had our first date.

Joey: What did you do?

Rachel: We did it all night long.

Joey: I told you Monica.

END