The OneWith The Babysitting Job


Written by Kat.


(Scene: Monica & Rachel's. Debbie is doing the washing up, and Monica is watching over her. Phoebe is watching them)

MON: You see, if you scrub the cutlery three times, they're guaranteed to come out clean.

DEB: I think it works just as well if you just clean them twice.

MON(slightly mad): Well, I don't.

DEB: Fine. (quiet) Waste your time. See if I care.

MON(irritated): Huh?!

PHOE: Truce! Truce!

(Ross enters)

ROSS: Hi! You guys okay?

MON/DEB(forced, at the same time): Fine.

PHOE: I'm great.

ROSS: Great! So, Debbie, are you doing anything tonight?

DEB: No.

ROSS: You wanna go to a movie or something?

DEB: I'd have to get someone to watch the girls. Dave's out on a business trip.

ROSS: Monica could do it.

MON: What?

ROSS: Rach or Phoebs could help you.

PHOE: I can't. I have an appointment with my therapist.

MON: How do you know I don't have plans?

ROSS: Do you?

MON: Me and Chandler were gonna go out.

ROSS: He can help you.

MON: I guess…(Under her breath) This is gonna be so much fun.

OPENING CREDITS

(SCENE: Carried on from before)

(Joey enters)

JOEY: Hey! Oh, hi Debbie!

DEB: Hi.

MON: Is Chandler over at yours?

JOEY: No, he's out. But he said he was coming round here after he got back.

MON: What time did he say he'd be back?

JOEY: Around 4.

MON: It's 4:30 now.

JOEY: I dunno (he shrugs)

DEB: Um, I have to go, Ross.

ROSS: Okay. See ya later.

DEB: Bye

ALL(except Monica): Bye.

(Rachel enters)

RACH: Hey Debbie. Bye Debbie.

(Debbie leaves)

RACH: Guess what?

ALL: What?

RACH: I have an interview tomorrow!

JOEY: Really? Who you gonna interview? Is it Sarah Michelle Gellar? I love Sarah Michelle Gellar! She's hot!

(Rachel looks slightly confused, but carries on talking)

RACH(laughing): Joey…I have an interview. (Joey's face remains the same)

JOEY: Yeah. Who with?

RACH: People asking me questions.

JOEY: Oh! So is Sarah gonna ask you the questions?

RACH: A job interview.

JOEY: Oh! I get it now.

MON: Who's it with, Rach?

RACH: Okay, you won't believe this, but…(she pauses)

JOEY: How are we gonna believe it if you don't tell us?

RACH: I'm getting there! I have an interview for a job at the Gap!

MON: I can believe that.

RACH: Shutup Mon.

ROSS: Is it designing?

RACH: Uh huh.

MON: Speaking of interviews - Phoebs, did you go to that interview for Tutti Fruiti?

PHOE: Uh-huh.

RACH: What happened?

PHOE: They said I should stop talking or they'd do something not nice that would definitely stop me!

MON: Wow.

JOEY: So, Rach, Gap make guys clothes, right?

RACH(suspicious): Right…

JOEY(sexy): Do they have fitters there?

RACH: Joey!

JOEY(muttering): Just wondering, is all.

(SCENE: Next day, at an office that appears to be the Gap headquarters. The walls have various fashion shows, updates and info on them. Rachel is walking around, in awe of the situation)

(She bumps into a man whilst looking- very painful looking)

RACH: Oh my! I'm so sorry!

GUY: Watch where you're going! (he sighs) (to himself) Interns.

RACH: No, no, I- (he walks off) Great move, Rach.

(She gets to a sitting area, with a receptionist - RCPT. Rachel goes over to her)

RACH: Hi. I'm here for the design job.

RCPT(not caring at all - very dull): Name.

RACH(taken aback): Um, Grachel Reen. (realises)

RCPT: Excuse me?

RACH(embarrassed): Rachel Green. Sorry.

RCPT: Right. Mr Botham will be right with you. One second. (she presses and holds down a button for the intercom) Girl for the interview, Mr Botham.

FROM INTERCOM: Send her in.

(Rachel stands there)

RCPT: Well, you heard him. Go on.

RACH(flustered): Of course!

(She goes over to his office, and knocks on the door. She goes inside)

(SCENE: Mr Botham's Office)

(Rachel is obviously surprised, and we see Mr Botham- BOTM - is the man she bumped into before)

BOTM(not looking up): Ms Green. I'm very impressed with your CV. (he looks up, and extends his hand) How do…It's you! You're the clumsy girl!

RACH: No! I don't know what you mean…

BOTM(embarrassed): Oh, I do apologise. It's just this stupid intern pushed me over, and she looked like you. She had a similar outfit, too.

RACH: What a clumsy tart!

BOTM(unimpressed): Hm. Moving on, Ms Green-

RACH: Please, call me Rachel.

BOTM: Rachel, you're CV is very impressive, as I said. You've got experience, and I think you may be ready for this job.

RACH: Really? That's fantastic! (she reaches over to shake his hand, but she spills his coffee all over him) Oops.

(SCENE: Monica and Chandler are outside Debbie's house, waiting to come in and watch the girls, Hayley and Nicola)

MON: This better not be a disaster.

CHAN: Don't worry. We'll put them to sleep, say, 7 o'clock and kiss for the rest of the time.

MON: 7? You know nothing about kids. Chandler, they're 15 and 12 years old. Not months.

CHAN: Okay, okay.

(Debbie comes to the door. She is putting on a earring)

DEB: Thanks for coming. Is Ross in the car?

MON: Yep.

DEB: Okay. My mobile number and Dave's work and the neighbours numbers are on the fridge. Hayley and Nicola normally go to sleep between half 10 and midnight. Hayley's gone out at the mo, and Nicola's in her room watching TV.

CHAN: Okay. You have fun.

DEB: I will. Bye Monica. Bye Chandler.

CHAN/MON: Bye.

DEB(shouts up stairs): Bye Nicola!!

(Debbie trots over in her heels to the car)

(Chandler and Monica go inside)

MON: What now?

(They move into the kitchen, and Chandler starts looking in the cupboards)

CHAN: Why don't you go see Nicola? I'll see what food they have. Do you think the girls have eaten?

MON: Chandler, it's 8 o'clock. Of course they've eaten.

CHAN: Oh. I knew that.

MON: I'm gonna go upstairs and find Nicola's room.

CHAN: Okay. (he looks in a cupboard) Ooh poptarts!

(Monica shakes her head and goes upstairs)

(SCENE: Nicola's room. Nicola is watching MTV, lying on her bed. Nicola has past-the-shoulder dark brown hair, and is wearing blue denim pedal pushers and a pink strappy top)

(Knock on door)

NIC(British, slightly common): Come in.

(Monica enters)

MON: Hi. I'm Monica. I'm looking after you tonight.

NIC: Oh. Okay.

MON: Okay. (she smiles) Me and Chandler will be downstairs if you need anything.

NIC: Who?

MON: Oh. My boyfriend. He's really nice.

(Knock on door. Chandler comes in.)

CHAN: Hey. Um, are you Nicola?

(Nicola looks at him, obviously thinking he's gorgeous, but she hides it quite well during the following conversation)

NIC: Yeah.

CHAN: Do you have any of those chocolate bar things with the nuts and caramel in?

NIC: Um, I have no idea. We have normal chocolate, and I think we have fruit and nut.

CHAN: Oh! Thanks! I'm glad you're not shy,

NIC(flattered): Really?

CHAN: Yeah! I hate shy people. Well, I don't hate them, I just find it hard to talk to them.

NIC: I know what you mean. I know some shy people and they hardly say a word.

(Monica starts to look bored)

CHAN: How come you're British?

NIC: Well, I lived there till I was 10.

CHAN: Huh?

NIC: Well, Mum was born in Britain, right? Once when she went down there to see some friends, she met my dad. They lived in Britain and we moved here when Dad got a business deal.

MON: Well, that's really great and all, but we'll be going downstairs now.

CHAN: Do we have- (Monica elbows him discreetly) Ow! Okay, okay. Bye Nicola.

NIC: Bye… (they leave) Oh my god, he is so gorgeous!

(Chandler peeks his head back round)

CHAN: Did you say something?

NIC(shocked): NO!

(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. Rachel is filing her nails, and describing her interview to the others)

RACH: So anyway, he's all impressed, I go to shake his hand, and I spill coffee all over him!

MON: Well, that makes my evening sound a little better.

PHOE: Didn't it go well?

MON: It sucked. Chandler and Nicola were talking all night, and-

RACH: Isn't that a good thing?

MON: No! When him and Nicola were talking, me and him should have been kissing!

PHOE: Ew. (Monica doesn't look very pleased with this) What? It's just that if you'd said it different it would've sounded like you wanted to kiss Nicola!
MON: But I didn't.

PHOE: I never said you did.

RACH: Did you like Nicola?

MON: She was really sweet and everything, but I get the feeling Chandler liked her too much.

RACH: Are you crazy? She's 12!

PHOE: Yeah, it's not like she's princess Arachacha of the Amazon Rainforest and she's gonna steal him from you. It's not like she had a machete or anything!

(The others give her funny looks. Phoebe looks sheepish)

PHOE: Just something that happened to me once, that's all.

RACH: And you're still around to tell us all these things. How is that?

PHOE: Just lucky, I guess.

(END SCENE: Nicola's Room. Nicola is writing in her diary. She is writing a mixture of "Chandler is gorgeous", "I love Chandler", and "Chandler 4 Nicola" in it)

(Chandler enters the room)

CHAN: Did I leave my coat in here?

(Nicola drops her diary on the floor in shock, and Chandler goes to pick it up)

NIC: Don't touch that!

(Chandler pulls back)

CHAN: Why not?

NIC: It has…(rambling) a toxic coating on it, and your hands will drop off if you touch it.

CHAN: Huh?

NIC: Nothing.

CHAN: Well, my coat's not here, so I'll see ya later.

NIC: Really?

CHAN: What?

NIC: Oh, nothing. (she sighs, and Chandler looks confused)

END