(SCENE: Central Perk. Monica & Rachel are there, arguing)

RACH: I'm telling you! You are so wrong!

MON: No…Everyone knows that wearing two different patterns is unfashionable!

RACH: And I'm telling you that it's the new fashion!

MON: Well, it's a stupid new fashion!

RACH: Don't blame fashion!

(The others enter)

PHOE: What's going on?

MON: Well, Rachel and I were talking and she says that wearing two patterns together is fashionable, and I say it looks stupid!

RACH: What do you think, Phoebe?

(They both look at Phoebe, and she looks at them, one at a time, each time becoming more anxious)

PHOE: I dunno! Why are you asking me? Do I look like someone fashionable?

(Rachel and Monica look confused)

CHAN: Anyway, hi.

MON: Oh, hi!

(They kiss)

ROSS: Ew…

(Monica looks at him, slightly angry)

ROSS: Sorry Monica.

(Monica smiles)

JOEY: What's the big deal about fashion anyway? I don't care what I wear!

RACH: That's not true! You won't wear anything that isn't a brand name!

JOEY: But that's not really fashion.

RACH: So, Joey, what is your definition of fashion?

JOEY: Defi…what?

MON: Definition.

JOEY(to Chandler): Defi what?

CHAN(bored): What you think it means.

JOEY: Oh…Well, I think fashion is, you know, all the latest trendy things. Like tops with holes in, and tights that are loose and stuff.

RACH: Joey? Neither of them are in fashion.

JOEY: Well, you know.

RACH: Yeah…

ROSS: I think fashion is pointless. Look at me. Do you think fashion got me where I am today? No.

(Rachel starts laughing)

RACH: Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking about you…in a fashionable shirt and trousers.

ROSS: I'll have you know I am very fashionable! Monica, back me up! In high school, I always had the coolest stationary! And I was the first one to get those multi coloured plimsolls in 5^th grade!

MON: Yes, but those plimsolls were girls plimsolls.

RACH: Which ones?

ROSS: You know the ones that looked like they had paint spilled on them! All the people had them!

MON: No…All the girls had them!

ROSS: Look, I can be fashionable! I bet you (to Rachel) $50 that I can be the coolest guy ever! For a week!

RACH: Betting money? That's not very interesting.

CHAN: Why don't you bet to be slaves for eachother for a day!

PHOE: A week!

(Rachel smiles)

RACH: Okay. If you can stay fashionable, I'll be your slave for a week, and if you can't-if you wear one geeky item of clothing- you have to be my slave. Deal?

ROSS: Deal…

RACH: Great! (whispers to Monica) Got myself a slave for a week then.

OPENING CREDITS

(Scene: Monica & Rachel's. Chandler is watching TV, and Joey is on the phone)

(Monica enters)

MON: Hey! (looks around) Oh, that's okay Joey. Use our phone. We have no money but, hey, don't worry about it!

JOEY: Mon, can you keep it down? I'm on the phone.

(Monica snatches the phone off him)

MON(into phone): Hi? Who is this? (pause) And you live where? (pause) Oh. Okay. Joey will call you back later. (pause) Okay, I'll tell him. (pause) Bye.

(She hangs up)

JOEY: I was talking to her!

MON: In Connecticut? Joey, that's expensive! Don't you have a phone?

JOEY: Yeah, but it costs us money.

MON: Don't you think it costs us money? We don't pay in, like, sex! And Chandler? Is that Pay Per View?

(Chandler looks round)

CHAN: No…?

(Monica goes over to the TV, and turns it off at the mains)

CHAN: Monica! (she stares at him) Sweetheart.

(Monica grimaces)

(Rachel enters)

RACH: Hi! Ross is coming over soon. His first day of being fashionable. I can't wait!

MON: Oh yeah. Can't wait to see this one.

(Chandler goes over to the fridge, and takes out a orange juice, and picks up the phone, and dials)

CHAN: Yeah? Can I order a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese? (pause) Large. Charge to M.Geller-

MON: What?!

CHAN: Sorry…Charge to R.Green-

RACH: What?!

CHAN: Charge to C.Bing. (pause) Yeah. Okay, thanks.

(He hangs up)

(Phoebe enters)

PHOE: Hey guys! I just saw this hot guy downstairs, and he waved at me! All friendly! His hair was a bit like Ross's, but this guy looked totally great!

(Ross enters)

PHOE: There he is!

RACH: Ross?

(Ross takes off his sunglasses, and smiles at her, pointedly)

ROSS: Hi.

MON: Oh my god! Did you have surgery?

ROSS: No.

JOEY: What did you do? You must've spent hundreds of dollars.

ROSS: Yeah…

PHOE: Wow. I didn't think I'd ever see the day when you looked cool.

ROSS: Thanks, Phoebs. I'll remember that when I'm famous.

PHOE: Well, you're a bit late.

RACH: Where'd you get all the stuff?

ROSS: Bloomindales.

RACH: Well, you look pretty nice. I guess.

ROSS: Thankyou.

RACH: Was it expensive?

(He shrugs)

ROSS: I only came up to say hey, and now I have to go take my son to the park. Bye.

ALL: Bye.

(Ross leaves)

RACH: Oh my god!

MON: I know! He looks totally different!

RACH: I think I like him again.

ALL: What?

CHAN: I thought you were past all that.

RACH: Yeah, I was. But now he's single, and gorgeous and fashionable.

PHOE: But he's still Ross. He's still got all those annoying habits-

RACH: What annoying habits?

JOEY: Oh you know, all 200 of them.

RACH: What am I gonna do?

CHAN: Get over him.

RACH: How do I do that?

JOEY: Do you want us to get him to sleep with someone else?

RACH: What?

JOEY: It worked last time.

(Rachel sighs)

RACH: This is serious! A real problem!

PHOE: You think this is a problem?

RACH: Well, yeah.

PHOE: I guess you haven't lived then. I mean when I was on the streets, I had problems like 'Where's my next meal coming from?' and 'Is that guy really gonna stab me?'

RACH: Sorry, Phoebs. I guess it's not as bad as that. But it's still a problem.

MON: Okay. We are gonna get dressed up, go to a club, and you are gonna meet some guys.

CHAN: Huh.

MON: What?

CHAN: You're gonna get dressed up, and go to a club? With guys there?

MON: Honey, I'm going for Rachel. Not me.

CHAN: But you'll go have sex with some other guy! It probably runs in the family! Ross did it, so you will…?

MON: Chandler…Don't worry. I'm only going out so Rach can find a date. Why don't you come?

CHAN: I dunno…Yeah, okay!

RACH: What if the guys think he's my boyfriend.

MON: Will you be holding his hand and kissing him?

RACH: No…

CHAN: Aww…

MON: Chandler! (to Rachel) The point is, we can go out and find you a boyfriend.

RACH: Okay. I can do that. I'll go get ready.

MON: It's 5 o'clock.

RACH: It takes a long time for me to get ready.

MON: 3 hours?

RACH: Trust me.

(SCENE: Central Perk, next day. The whole gang are there, minus Joey)

PHOE: So, how did last night go, Rach?

RACH: Okay, I guess.

MON: For you.

PHOE: Why, what happened?

MON: Chandler happened. It wasn't bad enough that he had to cling to me all night, whenever a guy came upto us, he started shouting at them like crazy!

CHAN: Excuse me, I did not start shouting like crazy! I had words. And it wasn't every guy, just one or two who looked like they might cause trouble!

MON: The DJ?

CHAN: He kept looking at you!

MON: He was looking at Rachel because I told him she was looking for a date!

RACH: You did what?

MON: I was only trying to help you.

RACH: Oh. Well, that's alright.

CHAN: And might I add, you were clinging to me too. You kept putting your hand on my arm.

MON: No! I was trying to prise your arm off mine because you were cutting off my blood supply!

PHOE (shouting): Okay! Quiet! Calm down!

MON/CHAN: Sorry Phoebe.

PHOE (quieter): Don't make me raise my voice again. I don’t believe in shouting.

ROSS: So, why did you go out anyway?

RACH: I'm sick of being single.

ROSS: Oh. Well, I have a girlfriend now, and she's been talking about this single guy in her office! We could double date!

RACH: I dunno…

ROSS: Oh, c'mon!

(Rachel looks at Monica, who nudges her lightly)

RACH: I guess, maybe.

ROSS: Great! His name is Stephen, and he's director of marketing at Karen's company.

RACH: Who's Karen?

ROSS: My girlfriend. She's so great!

RACH(not caring): Yeah. Uh-huh. So, how about we go someone next week? Say 7 o'clock?

ROSS: Sure! I'll organise it! I'll go right now! Bye.

(He leaves)

PHOE: Are you okay?

RACH: I guess I have to be. If Ross has a girlfriend, and he still looks great- after 5 days, might I add- then I don't stand a chance!

MON: I think it's for the best, honey. I mean, you can't be serious about wanting to date him anyway.

RACH: Why not? I dated him for, like, ages, and I never really stopped loving him. And I think he feels the same way about me.

CHAN: Look, Mon's right. Ross is happy with this Karen girl, and you shouldn't stand in the way of his happiness.

RACH: I know all this! I know I can't actually date him. But it doesn't mean I don't want him.

PHOE: We know. Do you want a hug?

(Rachel nods, and gets up. Phoebe hugs her)

(Joey enters, and sees Rachel and Phoebe)

JOEY: Oh my.

(The two stop hugging)

RACH: Joey!

PHOE: You are a sick little boy!

JOEY: Okay…Sorry.

CHAN: How did your rehearsals go, Joey?

JOEY: Great. I got you girls something.

GIRLS: What?

(Joey produces 3 signed pictures of Morgan Freeman, and the girls squeal with delight)

MON: This is so great!

PHOE: Thank you Joey! Ooh, and I called you a sick little boy! I'm sorry.

JOEY: That's okay. I'll forgive you if you sleep with me.

PHOE: Joey!

JOEY: I thought as much.

(END SCENE: Chandler & Joey's apartment. Ross is sitting on one of the recliner chairs, and Rachel is sweeping the room)

ROSS: You missed a spot.

RACH: Look, can't we forget this slave thing? I mean, I've agreed to go on a date with you and your girlfriend!

ROSS: A bet is a bet. Sweep.

RACH: I'll show you sweep!

(She goes up to his face, and sweeps the duster in it)

ROSS: Ew!

(He chases her around the apartment, and he kisses her)

RACH: Oh my…I've gotta go.

ROSS: Yeah, okay. I do too.

RACH: Bye!

(She leaves)

ROSS: Okay, what just happened? (pause) I need a drink.

END