(SCENE: Chandler & Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone, and Joey is sitting there watching him)

CHAN(into phone): So, can you do that for me? (pause) Yeah? That's great. (pause) Thanks. (pause) Chandler Bing. (pause) Yes. (pause) Yes, thank you again.

(He hangs up, smiling)

CHAN: Monica's gonna love this!

JOEY: What's going on?

CHAN: Well, it's her birthday, and I'm taking her to a restaurant. Then, I'm taking her back here. So that means you have to make yourself scarce.

(Joey is watching TV, not listening)

CHAN: Joey!

JOEY: Hm?

CHAN: You have to make yourself scarce on Friday night.

JOEY: What day is it today?

CHAN: Tuesday.

JOEY: Okay, I will. (Chandler smiles) It's on Thursday, right?

CHAN: Friday.

(Rachel enters)

RACH: What's Friday?

CHAN: Monica's birthday.

RACH: You're kidding? (Chandler shakes his head) I completely forgot. Oh, I have 3 days to get her something.

CHAN: Well, 2 really.

RACH: Whatever. (she claps her hands together) You know what would be so romantic?

CHAN: What?

RACH: You should propose to her!

CHAN: Propose?

RACH: Yeah! She's been talking about that!

CHAN: What? Me proposing?

RACH: No, just marriage in general. And kids.

(Chandler looks worried)

CHAN: K-kids? Marriage?

RACH: No. Not really. But I was thinking about it, and I wanna know when you're gonna!

CHAN: When I propose, it will be in my own time. Not when you guys tell me to.

JOEY(thoughtful): Hey, if you got married, you'd wanna live together, right?

CHAN: Of course.

JOEY: Well, would you live here? Or at Monica's? Or would you move?

CHAN: Well-

JOEY: Would you throw Rachel out?

RACH: W-what? Why me?

JOEY: Cos Monica's place is bigger.

CHAN: I never said-

RACH: Would you throw me out?

JOEY: Or me?

(Chandler looks at them both. Rachel has her hands on her hips, and Joey looks anxious to know)

CHAN: I…uh…

RACH: I have to go to work! I'm late! (to Chandler) I'm not finished with you. And Joey, don't even think about staying in this apartment. I'm not getting thrown out.

(She leaves)

CHAN: Well, this has gotten out of hand. I don't even know what I'm gonna do yet.

JOEY: Well, you better decide!

(Chandler stares at him)

JOEY(matter-of-fact): I'm not kidding!

OPENING CREDITS

(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. Monica is out, and Rachel is alone)

(Phoebe enters, with a folder in her hand)

RACH: Hey, Phoebs! (Re: Folder) What's that?

PHOE: Oh. Nothing. Nothing.

(Phoebe looks anxious)

RACH: What is it?

PHOE: It’s my boyfriends' portfolio.

RACH: You have a boyfriend? And he's a model? I didn't know.

PHOE: Yeah, well.

RACH: What's wrong? Hey, can I see the folder?

PHOE: Sure…(she hands it to Rachel)

(Rachel looks through)

RACH(while looking): Oh my god! Wow. He's gorgeous! (turns the page) Oh god…Phoebe! You've got a gorge(sees Phoebe glaring at her)…What?

PHOE: That's the problem! He's too gorgeous! He's had all these great girlfriends, and also…well, do you recognise him?

(Rachel looks through again)

RACH: Vaguely…Is this Monica's chef?

PHOE: Yeah. Well, he used to be. He quit.

RACH: Already?

PHOE: Yup. Also, he keeps going on and on about Monica! He totally likes her!

RACH: Well, dump him then. Maybe if you do, you could tell me, and I could get his phone number from you?

(Phoebe's mouth drops open)

RACH: I'm kidding.

PHOE: Hah!

RACH: Really. I am.

PHOE: Okay…If you're sure…

RACH: I am.

(She opens the portfolio again, sneakily)

PHOE: Stop it!

(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. It's Monica's birthday, and Rachel is hurriedly- and sloppily- wrapping up Monica's present)

(Monica comes out of her room, just as Rachel finishes)

RACH: Happy birthday! I've got your present right here!

MON: Thanks! (she takes the present, and opens it. It's a top and jeans) Ah, thanks, Rach. They're really nice.

RACH: No problem.

(Chandler enters)

CHAN: Happy birthday. (He kisses Monica, and hands her a card) That's half your present.

(Monica opens it, and is very pleased to see 2 tickets)

MON: Chandler! How did you get these? It must've been really difficult for you. (She smiles, and kisses him)

CHAN: Plus, there's dinner at Golden House tonight, and I have a surprise for you, too.

RACH(excited): You do?!

MON: Are you okay, Rach?

RACH: Fine.

CHAN: I have to go do something, but I'll come by about 7, so be ready.

MON: Okay. (They kiss, and he leaves)

RACH: Oh my god!

MON: What?

RACH: Nothing. I just…um…saw something really cool on TV.

MON: The TV's switched off.

RACH: Yeah, but it wasn't…before.

MON: Okay…I'm too happy to care.

RACH: That's sweet. So, Monica?

MON: Yeah?

RACH: Have you thought about…marriage?

MON: Marriage? Why? Has Chandler said something?

RACH: No…I was just, you know, thinking…Well, who'd move out? Me or Joey?

MON: What? I don't know.

RACH: That's what Chandler said. (claps her hand over her mouth)

MON: Chandler said what?

RACH: Nothing. It's just, well, I kinda asked him what he thought…

MON: Rachel! How could you? Now he's gonna think I wanna marry him!

RACH: Don't you?

MON: I haven't thought about it much, and I don't think I should be talking to you about this anyway.

RACH: Okay. (There is silence for a second, and then…) Would you say yes?

(Monica rolls her eyes)

(SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. Monica is out with Chandler. Rachel is alone)

(Phoebe enters)

PHOE: I broke up with him.

RACH: What?!

PHOE: Yep. I dumped Michael. I got sick of all these girls looking at him all the time.

RACH: Aw, Phoebs.

PHOE: Plus, you know I said he kept going on about Mon?

RACH: Yeah?

PHOE: Well, we saw her and Chandler when we were out, and there was all this (emphasised) 'tension' between him and Chandler. Well, for him, anyway. So, I took him home, and said I couldn't see him anymore.

RACH: What did you tell him?

PHOE: I told him the truth…

RACH: What did you tell him?

PHOE: That I was moving to Yemen. (Rachel looks at her as if to say 'you should be ashamed') What? Chandler did it!

RACH: Well, yeah, but what if you see him? What are you gonna say?

PHOE: I'll just say I came back…But that I was married. Simple.

RACH: I can't believe you! He's gorgeous!

PHOE: And single.

RACH: Hey, you're right. Can I-

PHOE: 555-9409.

RACH: Thanks Phoebs! (she hugs her and then picks up the phone)

(SCENE: Hallway. Chandler & Monica are just back from their date)

MON: Thanks for taking me out, Chandler. I had a great time.

CHAN: Me too.

(He smiles)

(They kiss)

CHAN: Has Rachel said anything to you lately?

MON: Well, what about?

CHAN: The future?

MON: Oh. Well, yeah. She did.

CHAN: And?

MON: And what?

CHAN: What did you think?

MON: I dunno. It's a nice thought.

CHAN: So? How about it?

MON: What?

CHAN: Should we get married? Or engaged at least?

MON: I…Are you proposing?

CHAN: I guess so.

(Monica smiles)

MON: Well…(Chandler looks at her, concerned) Sure. I'll do it.

CHAN: Really?

MON: Yeah. But I think we should leave it as engagement, and not tell the others just yet.

CHAN: Whatever you want. As long as you're happy.

(Joey opens the apartment door, and sees Chandler slipping the ring on Monica's finger)

JOEY: Oh my god!

(Chandler and Monica gasp, and turn around)

CHAN: Why is he always the first to know?

JOEY: Know what? Is this what I think it is?

MON: Yeah.

JOEY(tearful): Man…That's so sweet. C'mere.

(He grabs them into a hug.

(END SCENE: Monica & Rachel's. Rachel & Phoebe are sitting there.)

(Monica enters)

MON: Phoebe?

PHOE: Yeah?

MON: I ran into Michael today.

PHOE: Oh?

MON: Why does he think you're in Yemen?

PHOE: I dunno.

RACH: Wonder where he got that from.

END