The One With All The First Times

Written by: Elena

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

Note: This is my first fanfic and I would really appreciate some feedback. Just please remember I'm Italian and I'm 16 so my English is not perfect...

About a week later Ross's wedding. He didn't marry Emily but he isn't too much depressed, though. Basically I just wanted the old Ross back. Monica and Chandler did sleep together, but agreed that it was a drunken mistake.

[scene: Monica and Rachel's. Everybody's there, Joey is on the armchair; Ross and Rachel on the floor, round the table; Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on the couch, in this order]

Ross: (bored) What do we do now?

Chandler: Dunno, maybe try to get even more bored?

(everybody gives him strange looks)

Joey: (smiling) Strip poker!

Monica: (disgusted) Oh, no! Not again!

Rachel: Y'know, I was thinking...

Chandler: (sarcastic) So unlikely!! I was thinking too! (sees everybody staring at him) Hey, I'm Chandler! You know me! (sinks deeper in the couch)

Rachel: I was thinking (looks at Chandler) what if we talk about us? You know, things we don't know about each other.

Chandler: As if we never do that! (everybody looks at him, again) It must be something I ate.

Joey: Hey! Why don't we talk about our first times with sex? You know... when, with whom, how it was like and stuff...

Phoebe: That would be fun!

Ross: Yeah!

Rachel: You're brilliant Joe!

(He gives her a strange look)

Monica: (worried) I don't know... I mean we already know that your (points to Ross) first time was with Carol, yours (points to Rachel) with Chip Matthews, and you (points to Joey) probably don't even remember her name!

Joey: Hey!! She was (thinks for a while, y'know, that Dr. Ramoray thing) You're right!

Rachel: But we still don't know about you, Phoebe and Chandler!

Phoebe: Well, I don't think you really wanna know... I mean, I was having a hard time, living in a box...

(Everybody stares at her, then get back talking)

Joey: There's still two of us left! Come one! What's the big deal?

Chandler: (also worried) Look, I don't feel like talking about it, ok?

Rachel: Chandler? Our Chandler? The one who's always high whenever he gets some?

Monica: He's right, I'd rather not to talk about it either.

Phoebe: Oh, Come on!

Ross: Yeah, no secrets between us!

(Monica and Chandler look at each other, with worried looks on their faces. Then she puts her hand on his right arm, and nods. He looks at her, as if to know she's sure, and she is)

Monica: Ok, you won

Joey: Yay!

Ross: I can't wait to know who was your first, sis! (points to Monica)

Chandler: (under his breath) Not so sure about this

(Monica pats him on the shoulder)

Phoebe: So, who speaks first?

Chandler: (takes a deep breath, looks at Monica, then back to the gang) Well, it doesn't really matter who speaks first, 'cause, y'know, our first times were actually, uh... our (points to Mon and himself) first time.

(everybody else is shocked. Who wouldn't be?)

Opening Credits

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: You two... slept together?

Monica: Yup.

Joey: (nodding) Great shot, pal!

Rachel: Oh my God. This is... this is huge!

Ross: (angry) What? You had sex with my little sister? You're a dead man Chandler! (starts to get up)

Rachel: (stops him) Wait a minute Ross! First I want to know the whole story, every detail.

Phoebe: Yeah, how did you end up together?

(Ross is still angry, and goes on looking at Chandler trought the whole tale)

Chandler: Well, it was about a week before I left for my second year at college and...

Joey: What? You had sex for the first time at college?

Chandler: (looks angrily at him) ... And my mother had this house on the beach, so I asked Ross if he wanted to spend the weekend there. And with everybody thinking I was gay and me not having a girlfriend, I told Ross to bring someone. So he brought Carol and Monica.

Monica: (putting her hand on Chandler's) And that's where I join the story. Ross and Carol had to leave the very same day, because her grandma was ill or something like that. And I stayed. And we were alone.

Joey: And you had sex! Niiice!

Chandler: We're not finished yet, man!

Rachel: But did you have sex or not?

Monica: Yes we did.

Chandler: You know, we really had fun for a couple of days, it was almost time to come home, we were on the beach and well (smiles at Monica) it kinda... happened.

(Monica smiles back)

Joey: (with his dirty look) So you did it on the beach, huh?

Chandler: (annoyed) It was a private beach, Joe. Just Monica and I. (Joey seems disappointed)

Rachel: Aww, how romantic! I've always wanted to do it on the beach!

Phoebe: And how was it like?

Monica: Well, I don't want to talk about it! I mean, he's right here! (points at Chandler)

Chandler: Yeah! That would be... weird!

Joey: Weirder than doing it with your best friend's sister?

Chandler: (to Monica) He's got a point in there.

Ross: (even angrier) Now, if we're finished talking, I'm gonna kill Chandler!

(Chandler jumps off the couch, with Ross chasing him. They're now round the table in the kitchen, one opposite the other, with everybody looking at them. While they talk, Ross tries to grab him, so they run round the table.)

Ross: I can't believe it! You had sex with my sister! I thought you were my best friend!

Chandler: You should be happy it was me and not some dork! At least I'm still her friend!

Ross: I'm gonna kill you! You ruined everything!

Chandler: Come on Ross! It happened ten years ago! It's not like it happened last week! (realizes what he said and does his oh-my-what-have-I-said face)

(Monica frightens a little, but nobody notices)

Chandler: And you shouldn't judge me... Hell, I'm not the one who had sex with that Xerox girl while dating another woman on the day of our anniversary! (to Rachel) Sorry Rach.

Ross: (hit by his words) But it was nothing! It was meaningless sex!

Chandler: That's the point! Monica and I did not just have sex! (really serious) We shared something much more important.

(the rest of the gang is paying attention to the fight, especially Monica, who is a little surprised by Chandler's last comment)

Chandler: (now deadly serious, almost emotional) Yeah, we... we... we made love. That's it! We made love because back to those days, I loved your sister, so it wasn't just a fling.

(everybody is stunned, let alone Monica. Rachel, Phoebe and Joey look at each other, then at Monica and then back at Chandler)

Commercial Break

Ross: (at loss of words) What?

Chandler: (still serious) Yeah, I loved her. I was in love with her. (smiling) And now you don't know what to say! (points at him) Gotcha! I'm not afraid of you anymore

(Ross heads to the door, and while he's passing by Chandler, Chandler takes a step back)

Chandler: Well, maybe a little

(Ross exits)

Rachel: What did you just say?

Monica: (she can't believe what he said) You... loved me?

(Chandler approaches the gang and kneels in front of her)

Chandler: (serious again) Yeah, that's what I said

Monica: You mean it?

Chandler: Of course! You were... great, you cooked mac and cheese for me at Thanksgiving... and I had a big crush on you

Monica: Oh my God

Chandler: (looks down) I know, I'm a jerk. Will you just forget it all?

Monica: (smiling) Well, no, because actually I had a crush on you too.

(Rachel, Phoebe and Joey are even more surprised)

Chandler: (stunned) What?

Monica: Why didn't you tell me you loved me?

Chandler: Well, because I was, am, a loser, plus you're Ross' little sister... Y'know, I wanted to live!

Monica: (laughs) Well, you had ten years more

Chandler: (laughs too) And why didn't you tell me?

Monica: I thought you still hated me for cutting off your toe!

Chandler: (smiling) Well, if I hated you we would have never done... stuff

Monica: (smiling) Oh my God

Chandler: I know

(they hug. The others smile at them)

Rachel: I was wondering, what would have happened if you told you loved each other...

Chandler: (not so sure) Well, I think it's better this way, I mean, after all this time we're still friends.

Monica: (not sure either) Right. Better this way.

(They look at each other)

(Ross enters, Chandler is still kneeling in front of Monica, the others are sitting as before)

Ross: Ok, Chandler, I can't forgive you (punches him in the jaw)

Chandler: Whoa!! (falls on his back, he's now laying on the floor)

(the others can't believe what Ross just did)

Monica: (kneels beside Chandler) Are you ok? (to Ross, angry) What the hell is wrong with you? Will you ever let it go? Why can't you just accept it?

Ross: (angry) Because!

Monica: (angry) You know what? It wasn't just ten years ago. We had sex last week too, the night before your almost-wedding in London!!

All: What??

Chandler: (still laying, has that I'm-really-going-to-die-today look on) Come on Ross, we were sooo drunk... we didn't even mean it to happen!

(Ross leaves)

Monica: (serious) Well, I did

Chandler: (shocked) What?

Monica: Mean it

Chandler: (serious) You did?

Monica: Yeah

Chandler: (smiling) So did I...

(He sits and leans over to kiss her softly, his right hand on her face. They break apart and look at each other for a while. They smile and kiss more passionately, he takes her face in his hands and she puts her arms around his neck)

Phoebe: (smiling) See? Lobsters! (and does her lobster-thing with her hands)

(everybody smiles and leaves quietly)

Chandler: (softly) I love you Monica (still has his hand on her face)

Monica: (choked up) I love you too Chandler (They hug)

Closing Credits

[scene: the hallway. Ross is pacing, the others exit the apartment]

Ross: Well, maybe I overreacted a little

Joey: A little? You wanted to kill Chandler!

Ross: How's he?

Phoebe: Well, you punched him

Ross: Ok, I'm going in to say I'm sorry

Rachel: Hem, Ross? They were kissing...

Ross: What?

[scene: Monica and Rachel's. Monica and Chandler are still hugging]

Ross: (outside, loud) Chandler!!

(they break apart, Chandler has a worried look on his face)

Chandler: (scared) Well, Mon, thanks for these ten minutes, please say something nice at my funeral, I love you. (kisses her) Goodbye. (gets up and rushes out of the apartment as Ross enters)