Friends

A Script by Becci Wooster

[Girls Apartment]

(Ross and Rachel are fooling around on the sofa)

(Enter Chandler and Phoebe)

Chandler - <cough>

(Ross and Rachel look up)

Phoebe - Sorry,have you guys seen Joey anywhere today?

Chandler - It’s amazing you guys can still breath.How do you manage to hold your breath for that long?

(Chandler gets odd stares from everyone)

Ross - No Pheebes,we haven’t seen him.What do you want him for?

Chandler - He broke up with Cindy last night and was pretty upset.I woke up at 6 am and he’d gone.

(Enter Monica)

Monica - What was that?

Rachel - Chandler’s worried about Joey.You haven’t seen him around,have you?

Monica - Yeah,he was at the Coffee House a minute ago with a brunette on one arm and a redhead on the other.

Chandler - See?In 12 hours,he’s had more women that I’ve had in 29 years!

Credits

[Central Perk]

(Joey is at the bar)

(Enter Ross and Chandler)

Ross - There you are!We’ve looked everywhere for you,bud!

Chandler - What’s up?

Joey - I dunno.After Cindy broke up with me last night,I’ve wondered what went wrong.I mean it can’t be me,can it?I’ve never had any complaints before.Or is it?What if it is me?What’ll I do?

Ross - That’s what I felt after Carol left me.Then I realized that sometimes it might be that you just aren’t meant to be together.

Chandler - Yeah,that or Cindy’s a lesbian.

[Girl’s Apartment]

[In the Kitchen]

(Rachel,Phoebe and Monica)

Rachel - I’m planning something special for Thursday.

Monica - What’s Thursday?

Rachel - It’s Valentines Day,Mon.What do you think I should get for Ross?Cosmo suggests novelty sex toys.Vogue suggests a dinner out followed by dessert round your place<has a dreamy expression on her face>with candles and soft music and everything,then a tour round the bedroom before finally …

Monica - I don’t think I need to know the rest.Ross is my brother,you know!

Phoebe - Yeah,and it’s way too depressing not being with anybody on Valentine’s day.

Rachel - What happened to Harry?

Phoebe - I dumped him.I mean,sure,the odd splint or two,but four foot ones!

Monica - He was a druggie?!

Rachel - Yeah,of course he was.He actually laughed at Chandler’s jokes!

Monica - Point taken.

Phoebe - Fine,but that doesn’t solve my problem.I only have 3 days left.

[Ross’ Apartment]

(Ross and Rachel on the sofa hugging)

Rachel - Ross,you haven’t got any friends who would like a date for Thursday,have you?

Ross - Yeah,actually there is one.He’s really bummed at the moment.

Rachel - How about we set him up with a gorgeous blond who also wants one?

Ross - Yeah,OK!

[Central Perk]

(Phoebe and Joey)

Phoebe - I’m sorry to hear about you and Cindy,Joey.

Joey - Thanks.It’s just she’s only the second girl who’s ever dumped me before.

Phoebe - Who was the first?

Joey - Ursula.

<They both go silent>

Phoebe - <Trying to sound cheerful>Well,I guess we’ll both be on our own on Thursday.There’s Monica and Richard,Rachel and Ross,Chandler and his WENUS and then there’s me and you.

Joey- What?There’s no guy wanting to go out with you at the moment?

Phoebe - Yeah,well no,it’s kinda depressing.

[Monica’s bedroom]

(Richard and Monica)

Monica - What are we gonna do for Valentine’s day?

Richard - Well,actually,there’s something I need to tell you.I’ll be in Chicago on Thursday.There’s this big Opthamologist’s convention.

Monica - What????

Richard - I’m real sorry,Honey,but I really have to go.

Monica - I was planning on roses and meals at restaurants,not being here on my own.

Richard - I’m really sorry,but there’s nothing I can do!

[Central Perk]

(Ross,Rachel,Monica,Chandler,Phoebe and Joey)

Monica - ……so he’ll be out of town all week.

Ross - I’m sorry,Mon,that’s tough.

Rachel - Yeah,I’d hate it if Ross was out of town on Valentine’s day.

Chandler - Well,Mon,I’ll be on my own.Maybe we could do something.

Monica - Well,I’ll let you know if I get that desperate.

Chandler - Well,that’s the thanks I get….

Monica - I’m sorry.Why don’t you come over to the apartment on Thursday.We’ll watch a movie or something.

<Ross and Rachel exchange funny glances>

Ross - <Changing subject>Rach,I’ll pick you up at about seven tomorrow evening.I’ve got something planned.

Rachel - What should I wear?

Ross - <to Rachel>Anything you like.You look great in everything.<to group>I can’t thank you guys enough for watching that dumb prom video.

Commercial break

{Valentines Day}

[The Girl’s Apartment]

(Monica and Chandler)

Monica - Oh no!We’re out of popcorn.The video hasn’t even started yet!

Chandler - Let me guess,there’s more popcorn in your panties and I’ll have to get naked and lie on it and….

Monica - What are you on about?Can you go to the store and pick up some more for me?

Chandler - O.K.

[Corridor outside Ross’ Apartment]

Rachel - Thankyou for a perfect evening.

Ross - Now for the perfect night…

Rachel - I wonder how Phoebe’s getting on with that guy?

Ross - <Entering his apartment>What guy?

Rachel - <Following him>You know,your friend.

Ross - You mean Joey.<Rachel kisses him and leads him to the bedroom>

Rachel - What was that?

Ross - Oh,nothing.<They rush into his bedroom>

[Central Perk]

(Joey and Phoebe)

Joey - What are you doing here?

Phoebe - I got a note from Rachel telling me to be here at nine.

Joey - Well I got the same message from Ross.He told me he’d got me a date with a hot blonde friend of Rachel’s.

Phoebe - You don’t think that they set us up, do you?

Joey - I dunno.Ross didn’t know the girl’s name.

Phoebe - And Rachel didn’t know the guy’s name.

Joey - Oh.

Phoebe - What’s up?

Joey - To tell you the truth,Phoebe,I’m worried about my kisses.They must be the reason that Cindy broke up with me.

Phoebe - Oh,no!You’ve always been great when I’ve kissed you.Unless you’ve changed.

Joey - Could you see if that’s it for me?

Phoebe - Sure.<They kiss quite passionately>

Phoebe - No,you’re still brilliant.

Joey - So are you.Could we try it again?<They kiss again>

{Next Day}

[Girl’s Apartment]

(Enter Ross and Rachel)

<The sofa’s in a mess.A man’s clothes are all over the floor,leading to Monica’s bedroom.As they shut the front door,Moonica opens her bedroom door and walks out.>

Monica - Hi,you guys,you look tired.

Rachel - You too.What’s with the clothes?<pause>They’re not Chandler’s are they?<Exchanges worried glances with Ross>

Monica - No!He left at eight and didn’t come back.The clothes belong to Richard.He surprised me by coming back from the meeting.

Rachel+Ross - Oh!!!

(Enter Chandler)

<We haven’t seen him this happy since he had sex in the one with five steaks and an egg plant.>

Chandler - Hey,guys.Guess who met the most wonderful girl last night and ended up spending the night at her place?

Ross - Well done,buddy!

Rachel - Go,Bing boy!

Monica - Where’s my popcorn?<Everybody looks at her>

Ending Music

Teaser

[Guy’s apartment]

(All there except Joey and Phoebe)

Chandler - Woo hoo!Joey!Anybody there?

(Enter Joey)

Joey - What do you want?

Rachel - We were wondering if you’d seen Phoebe.We wanted to ask her about her date last night.

<Voice - Joey?>

Monica - Who’s that?

Joey - No-one.

Ross - Come on,let us see!<Chandler pushes door open>

Everybody - Gasp!

<Everybody sees Phoebe.Then they realize that Joey and Phoebe slept together last night.>

The End

Comments?Opinions?Please e-mail me. Becci.Wooster@btinternet.com