Season Six Opener
Written by: Betsy T.
Disclaimer: The characters and their stories belong to Bright, Kaufman, and Crane and
NBC and Warner
Brothers. I mean no infringement and make no profit.
This is a fanfic taking place directly where the season 5 finale left off. It is my
first attempt so any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Write to: firstname.lastname@example.org. I am a huge Chandler and Monica
fan and might favor them slightly but I tried to please Ross and Rachel or just plain
Friends fans too. This is not necessarily what I think the writers of the
show are going to do but just simply an idea.
Recap: Chandler and Monica went to Las Vegas for their one year anniversary. Chandler
forgot his anniversary present for Monica at home. Joey was already there doing a movie
and Phoebe insisted she come since she missed the last group trip. Rachel and Ross came
later on a separate plane. A series of jokes are played on one another until, ultimately
Ross and Rachel both are very drunk and their faces decorated with a pen. Remember-they
are drunk.. Phoebe and Joey both get kicked out of the casino. Joey for aggravating a
dealer about being his hand twin and Phoebe for playing someone else's quarter on a
machine. Monica won numerously on craps (I think that's what that game is called) and
Chandler is right by her side telling her what number she should roll. He tells her if she
rolls a hard eight then they would get married there. She rolls it. They go to the chapel
and as they are going up to the doors, they open and a very drunken Rachel and Ross walk
out arm-in-arm, calling each other, "Mrs. Ross" and "Mr. Rachel".
Monica and Chandler are shocked!
M: Ross!! Rachel!!
(They have already partially made it out the door but in hearing their names
they turn around)
M: What is this?!?
Ross: Well Moonnnicca, what are you doing here? (like he did in TOW
they blame Joey -or something like that) (pause) Uh ohhh....
(runs outside and we can hear horrible noises of what we determine is Ross
throwing up everywhere)
C: So Mon...hungry?
Opening Song and scenes from the last three episodes of season five.
M: Rachel, Ross, what the hell are you thinking?
Rach: He started it...
M & C: What?
Ross: (cutting in) no she started it...(reaches in his pocket) Macadamia
Rach: No thanks. (pause) No he drew on mine first...
Ross: (laughs quietly to himself) Well the pen guy thought I was funny.
M: Not your faces! You just got married!
Ross: No Mon, this isn't a real church.... (to Rach) she thought we got
Rach: Mon this is a pretended church where you act like you get
married...see...(grabs Ross' arm and starts walking around laughing and
barely able to stand up) Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. I mean
Mon, do you see a wedding dress?
M: Rach, this is a wedding chapel, a wed-ding cha-pel. You two are
Ross: Come on Rach, let's go...(quietly to Rach but loud enough for
everyone to hear) Married...yeah right!
Ross and Rachel leave scene.
C: Umm those two have no idea do they?
M: Nope, none. (pause) Well this sucks.
C: Not completely.
C: Well, you did roll a hard eight...
M: Chandler we can't get married now, I mean my brother's a mess and...
(cut off by Chandler)
C: Mon I know all this. I know we can't get married right now but I still
feel I owe you a little something. Well I had Gunther do a little favor for
me. You know that little gift I had forgotten at home? (Monica looks at
him questioning, but smiling) Well let's just say those mail systems sure
M: You didn't have to..
C: (cutting her off once again) I know Mon. I wanted to. (He grabs her hands and kisses her. Then kneels down in front of her) Mon I don't want to get married in here. I mean no offense but this is where drunken people tie the knot on the spur of the moment. I mean we aren't spur of the moment people. (Pulls a box from his pocket. He opens it and reveals a beautiful ring. I don't know much about them but this one is top of the class type thing. She's stunned.) Monica, will you marry me? Not here, not now, but back in New York where our friends can be there and your parents can see their beautiful daughter walking down the isle. I really love you more every moment I spend with you. You are so beautiful and I know that I do want to spend the rest of my life with you.
M: (She smiles through tears pouring down her face.) Of course I'll marry you Chandler! (She bends down to kiss him and he falls back playfully with Monica. They kiss very passionately.)
(after a few mins)
M: Uhhh...we really should go get Rach and Ross.
C: Yeah, I guess your right. Just hold that thought and we can pick up where we left off later.
(They head towards the door)
Outside the Casino
(Ross and Rachel are walking up to the casino, we assume coming from the wedding chapel. Phoebe and Joey are out there sitting on the corner and Pheebs is guessing Joey's fingers.)
J: Come on Phoebe, I only have one hand behind my back...I mean. (Joey's "duh" face as he shaked his head)
Rach: He has five!
J: Awwww Rach you cheated! And I had her too.
P: That was my next guess anyway! Yeah! I win!
J: No. I win! You lose, sorry Pheebs, judge rules.
P: Oh OK. (under her breath) Your judge sucks.
J: What was that?
P: Oh I said "I miss the ducks."
J: Pheebs, we only have one duck.
P: Well you know, just in case we had another, I'm sure I'd miss him too.
(Ross and Rach gives an "O-k" type look to each other.)
Ross: So why are you guys out here anyway?
P: Those stupid security guards....
J: They didn't like my hand twin idea...(pouting)
P: It's OK Joe.
Rach: Well we just got married.
P: Well that was random.
Ross: Gosh Rach, we're good! Everyone falls for that one. (laughs)
Rach: Uhhh come on Ross.....I don't feel too good.
(Rachel and Ross leave scene)
P: Ohhhhhk...anyway Joey, let's play again.
(Mon and Chan run up)
M: You guys haven't seen Rachel and Ross by any chance have you?
P: Yeah, they were right here a second ago but left cause Rachel felt sick or something like that.
C: So they were here? Where'd they go, where'd they go?
J: Calm down man, what's the big deal?
M: Joey, they just got married!
P: They did what?!?
M: Married! They are just to drunk to realize it. They think that that wedding chapel over there, (points way down the street) isn't a place where you really get married.
C: Yeah but well tell you more later, right now we better go find those to before they do something even more crazy.
J: So they got fake married there?
(Everyone just looks at Joey and waits for him)
J: Ohhhh. Hold on, oh my God so...
M: (cuts him off) Yes!
(they all run towards the casino again)
P: Wait. How are me and Joey supposed to get in? We've already been kicked out.
C: You were kicked out? Why?
J: Nevermind that, how are we supposed to get in?
(everyone stops and thinks)
J: I got an idea! Monica just flash them.
(Monica looks at him disgusted and Chandler turns around to him)
J: Well we need to get in and...(can see the way Chandler is looking at him) OK bad idea.
C: Yeah I'd say so!
M: How about you guys just crawl in behind us.
P: Ohhh, ok good idea..
J: I still like my idea better.
C: Joe! Come on!
(Chandler and Monica walk in quickly with Phoebe and Joey crawling beside them. They get in successfully)
Up in the room where Rachel and Ross were before.
Ross: So now what do you want to do? (Ross lays at the head of the bed.)
Rach: I think I just want to sit here for a second. (She sits on the bed beside where Ross is laying and passes out right beside him. He soon also falls asleep and cuddles her up to him with his arm around her. :) )
(We soon hear banging on the door but Rach and Ross remain undisturbed.)
Outside the room.
M: Damnit! The door is locked!
(Chandler presses his ear up against the door but quickly removes it.)
M: What? Are they....ya know?
C: Ewwww. No! Ross is just snoring REALLY loud!
M: Good so they aren't....
C: I sure hope not!
(Mon playfully hits him)
J: So come on. What are we supposed to do?
M: I guess we can just sit out here until they wake up.
C: Yeah guess so. And anyway I want to hear how you got kicked out of the casino.
P: Well there was this woman who kept watching every machine that I went to and waited till I left and then stole my jackpot!
M: Yeah, a lurker right?
P: How'd you know? Oh yeah, your Nanna.
M: Oh Ross must of already told you.
C: So anyway.....
P: Oh yeah, well I told her to stop being a lurker and that I was going to lurk everyone she lurked. And I did but she put the quarter in first but I pulled the lever first. I got jackpot but the little lurker old woman person (getting real angry) told on me!!!
C: Whoa calm down Pheebs!
(Down the hall comes the "Drunken Gambler" from before. We'll just call him DG)
DG: Hey you're the couple from downstairs!
C: Yeah we remember you!
DG: So, so, so...did you do it?
J: (to Chandler) What's he talking about man?
C: (you can tell he's becoming nervous) Ummm....I don't know.
M: Ummm...we decided to wait.
P: Wait to do what?
M: (also getting nervous) Nothing, we'll tell you later.
DG: Well that's a shame. I thought getting married was a great idea!
(Phoebe and Joey look shocked and look over at Monica and Chandler who just look down and then innocently back at them.)
DG: Where's that steak dinner you promised me?
C: Oh it's downstairs...go ahead go check!
DG: Oh OK. Thanks!
P/J: What was he talking about?
C: OK well we were going to get married in that chapel...
J: Married? Are you serious man?
C: Yes...more serious than ever. (leans over and kisses Mon)
J/P: Awww, so sweet (etc.)
C: Well what happened is Monica was playing craps and was on a ball. We won 9,000 dollars actually.
J: Nine thousand?
C: Isn't that awesome? Well then I told Mon if she rolled a hard eight, (Joey looks at Phoebe and says "two fours", much like Chandler did to Monica), and she rolled one four and the other one fell under the table.
M: It was on a corner half four and half five.
C: It was four.
P: Awww that is so sweet.
J: So you went to the chapel and...
M: And we saw Rachel and Ross.
P: So now you guys are going to wait?
M: Of course we wouldn't get married without you guys there!
P: Aww that's so sweet.
(Phoebe goes and hugs Mon and Joey goes to Chandler. Then Monica and Chandler break off and kiss.)
(A long time passes by. We can tell this because Joey was laying in the middle of the floor and Phoebe with her head against the wall. Chandler was sitting up and Monica has her head in his lap, he's stroking her hair.)
C: So our vacation is almost up. We only have one night left and we're sitting here in a lonely hallway.
M: Yeah you're right but what happens when they wake up? They won't know what's going on.
P: Why don't you two go on, me and Joey will stay here. It is your anniversary anyway.
C: Are you sure Pheebs?
P: Yeah go ahead! I'm comfortable here and Joey, (Joey snores loudly then stops and laughs and says "How you doin'?" then quickly turns over and goes back to sleep.) Well Joey's pretty indifferent.
M: Alright thanks!
P: Yeah no prob.
M: Hey Pheebs, if they wake up, just don't tell them anything yet just make sure they stay in the room.
M: Make them guess Joey's fingers...I don't know, we'll be back soon.
(Chandler and Monica walk off)
C: So where to?
M: Our room and celebrate?
C: Sounds good to me.
C: Want some champagne?
(Chandler pops open a champagne.)
M: So this night hasn't turned out to be that bad after all.
C: Nope. Happy Anniversary.
M: Thank you. One year ago....man we had a great time that night.
C: You can go ahead an expect an even better night tonight. (He turns on some slow music and takes Mon and they dance. He's actually a great dancer.)
M: I never knew you could dance this good.
C: Well I took some lessons from Joey. (Joey learned how to dance from Mr. Treeger, I'm not sure the name of that episode.)
(They kiss and fall back on the bed. Scene fades out.)
Inside the room Rach and Ross are in.
(It's the next morning.)
(Rach opens her eyes and grabs her head with an obvious hangover. With a surprised look on her face, she unwraps herself from Ross' arms and jumps up quickly.)
Rach: What, why, who?
Ross: (just waking up) What's all that yelling for? (Realizing they still have their clothes on from last night.) Hey why are you here?
Rach: Ohhhh, last night we got totally wasted.
Ross: Oh yeah. I can feel it now.
Outside the Door
(Phoebe and Joey are still there, Phoebe is just waking up.)
P: (shaking Joey) Joey wake up. I think Rachel and Ross are awake. (They start banging on the door.)
(Rach opens the door)
Rach: What! Stop banging on the door.
P: So, how's it going? Remember anything from last night?
Ross: I remember us in the room and drinking and then we must of passed out, why?
J: Hmmm, maybe we should call Chandler and Monica's room.
P: Yeah, good idea.
Rach: What's going on you guys?
J: Nothing much but can you guess how many fingers I have behind my back?
Rach: Joey I'm not playing that stupid game.
J: Pheebs I told you that wouldn't work.
P: Just call room 221 where Mon and Chandler are.
Ross: What are you guys talking about?
J: Nothing man, I already told you that. So what did you guys do last night?
Rach: We played cards and I remember a little bit of me drawing on Ross' face.
(Right then a knock is on the door. It's C and M.)
(Rach goes and answers the door.)
Rach: Mon, what are Phoebe and Joey acting so weird about?
M: Last night you sure did get pretty drunk!
Ross: Yeh we sure did. I can't wait till I get my room bill.
M: So, you guys don't remember anything else from last night?
Rach: Nope. Well, I kinda remember a statue of a man.
Ross: Oh yeh! I vaguely remember him.
C: So you guys don't remember any neon lights or seeing us (points at himself then Monica then back at himself) anywhere?
Rach: Not really, why? What are you guys getting at?
Ross: Hey! Hold on. I do remember seeing you guys. We were talking to you.
M: Yeah, remember what about?
C: Or even where we were?
Ross: No clue.
(Phoebe starts walking around the room softly humming the Wedding March, Monica signals to Phoebe to stop and be quiet.)
Rach: Hold on, we didn't, (pause) ya know?
Ross: What? We didn't what?
Rach: (starting to freak out) What Phoebe just did, we did, I mean us?
(talking about her and Ross)
M: Ummm, honey, I'm afraid so.
Rach: We're married!?!?!?
Ross: Huh?! (faints)
TO BE CONTINUED..........
No end teaser.....sorry guys.
Don't forget to give me feedback! Too long? Too short? Not funny? Just
tell me!!! Email me at: email@example.com