The One With The Overpowerment
Written by: Chandler
Disclaimer: The characters and their stories belong to Bright, Kaufman, and Crane and
NBC and Warner Brothers. I mean no
infringement and make no profit.
(Note: This story is a second part to what happened in the last story, The One When
Joey. Scene: The seats in the theatre. The four friends get up as Joey and Phoebe come up to them.)
Ross: Hey guys!
Monica: You were brilliant, Pheebs!
Joey: What about me?
Chandler: Weve said you were good before, so...
Phoebe: Was I good as Lauren?
Rachel: You were fantastic!
(As Rachel finishes, the play director comes up to them)
Jean: Phoebe, you were brilliant! Now, Im lining up some commercials, so if you
wanna come down,
gimme a call, heres my card. (Hands her a card)
Phoebe: Oh, thanks, Jean!
Jean: I gotta go. (Does so)
Phoebe: Isnt it that brill?
(The other four cheer her. Joey looks disappointed. A fan comes up to her.)
Fan: Lauren, or who you are really, you were brilliant! When can I see you next?
Phoebe: Well, Im gonna be in some commercials, so watch out for them!
Fan: I will! Bye!(Exits)
Joey: But, you really werent supposed to stab me!
Phoebe: I know, but look at all the publicity I got from it!
Joey: Yeah. Anyway, I gotta go get my tetanus jab. There was rust on the knife. Tara. (Leaves)
(Then theres a suprise. A guest. Janice comes down to the friends)
Janice: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Janice!
Chandler: This cant be real...
Janice: I notice you did my laugh up there!
Phoebe: Jean loved it!
Janice: Janice is loveable!
Phoebe: (pulls out the knife) Wasnt it realistic when I (Shoots the knife forward
to show she stabbed
Joey and accidentally stabs Janice. Janice screams.)
Phoebe: Oh my god!
Chandler: After all these years, my dream, has come true!
(Scene: Ross and Joeys apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. He is showing here a sheet of paper.)
Ross: Right. This is his usual workload. But see, John and Evan are doing this much
more. Not a lot
when its split. But when its together, its an hour. they do get paid more but they dont like it. So Im
giving them a break.
Ross: But thats not all!
Ross: Some of my work!
(As Ross finishes that sentence Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Hey, have you seen Joe?
Ross: Went down to some acting class.
Chandler: Only Hot Girl told me to tell him, hes that dull he cant count and, I got a date with her!
Ross: But youre seeing my sister!
Chandler: Christ! (Runs out faster than lightining)
Rachel: Ross, do you ever miss the closeness of a relationship?
Ross: No. Ive had so many messups I dont like lufe any more. Apart from my new job.
Monica: Is there any reason that Chandler raced up to me, said, I love you,I love you,I
love you, I will
never cheat on you. I love you, I love you?
Rachel: Knowing Chandler, no.
Rachel: Fancy the cinema Friday night?
Monica: I told you, Im going out with Chandler!
Rachel: Hell cancel!
Monica: He will not!
Ross: He will!
Monica: And how do you know that? And what are you two reading? (She takes the paper)
Ross: Give me that!
Monica: You are so dead!
Ross: Here we go!
Monica:(Pulls stuff out of the drawers and chucks it everywhere)
Ross: Stop her! Stop her! Stop her!
Rachel: Christ! (She walks out.)
Monica: (Tips flowers out and the water stains the carpet. Walks up to the big window
and puts her fis
through it.) You are dead!
Ross: Thats vandalism!
Monica: Thats revenge!
Ross: Then get it on Rachel too! She asked me to do it!
Monica: Why did you?!
Ross: You know I still love her!
Monica: Yes, but why did she do it?!
Ross: To rebuild your friendship or summat!
Monica: Im using your phone. She cant be home yet. (Dials a number) Hugh?
You make me sick! No,
I dont feel well! Of course, its Rachel! You are the biggest slimeball! And I hope you rot in hell!
Goddbye... no, horrorbye! (Hangs up)
Ross: Get out!
Monica: (Picks up a vase and takes it to the door with her and then throws it at Ross) Ha!
(Scene: Rachel and Phoebes apartment. Hugh, Phoebe and Rachel are there . Phoebe
Rachel: What are you on about? I didnt phone you!
Hugh: You called me the biggest slimeball!
Rachel: I did not!
Phoebe: You two, keep it down, Im rehearsing some lines.
Rachel and Hugh: Shutup!
Phoebe: I asked you to be quiet!
Rachel and Hugh: So did we!
Rachel and Hugh: Shutup!
Phoebe: Out! (Picks up a knife) Dont make me do it!
(They run out frightened)
(Its all quiet, then you hear Rachel and Monica screaming at each other.)
Phoebe: Will I ever get quiet!
Joey: Hey, Pheebs.
Joey: Do you know if there are any parts in those commercials I could audition for?
Phoebe: Oh, no.
Joey: OK, thanks.
Phoebe: Jean wouldnt cast you anyway, she thinks your rubbish.
Joey: Then why did she cast me?
Phoebe: Because you were the only one who auditioned fopr the part. Male anyway. She
didnt want to
cast the transvestite.
Joey: You thought I was good, right?
Phoebe: Well, I was better.
Phoebe: Read this! (Hands him a paper)
Joey: Oh, Oh... Oh! (Exits)
(The phone rings. Phoebe answers)
Phoebe: Hello? Yeah! Oh! Oh! Yay! Yay! Bye! See you tomorrow!
(Phoebe runs into Chandlers apartment. Cut to Chandlers apartment.
Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are
Phoebe: Guess what?
Joey: The paper printed a sequel?
Phoebe: Im in a low budget film!
Chandler: Great, Pheebs!
Joey: (casts Chandler an evil look)
Chandler: Or, it could not be good.
Chandler: Well, youre the worst actor ever.
Phoebe: Unless you put that right Ill have Gary shoot you.
Chandler: Or on the other hand... (runs out of the room)
(Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Monica are there. They are sat down.)
Monica: Ross, are you still going to do it?
Ross: Um, yeah.
Monica: Ive got a hot coffee here.
Ross: So have I!
Monica: But I have guts.
Ross: And Ive already done the timetable!
Monica: When did you do it?
Ross: About 30 minutes before I decided to get a new apartment.
Monica: Im sorry about that!
Ross: Look, you know why I did it. So, give it up. Whats done is done.
(Chandler enters in a suit. Looks as if he just came from work.)
Monica: Because he felt in a mean mood!
Ross: I did when I had to pay Ugly Naked Guy!
Chandler: You made me work 2 hours longer!
Ross: Also, for the rest of the week.
Chandler: (pulls out his mobile and dials) (to Monica) I won the lottery. (To the
phone) Yeah, could you
give Doug a note from Chandler Bing. Right. I quit.
Ross: Chandler the romantic.
Chandler: What did I just do? What did I just do? What did I just do? Sixty thousand!
Ah! This is your
fault, Ross! All your fault!
Monica: What is going on?
Chandler: Ill tell you later. Go on up, hon.
Chandler: Just go. (Monica does so.)
Ross: Its not all my fault.
Chandler: (Picks Ross up by the neck and punches him in the face, really hard. Chandler walks out)
Ross: Chandler, you are dead! No, Ill be the better man and not punch. Ill
just tell Monica why you
said, I love you,I love you,I love you, I will never cheat on you. I love you, I love you!
(Scene: A room where Jean and Phoebe are sitting.)
Jean: So, do you want the part?
Phoebe: Yeah, but I cant.
Phoebe: The only reason I did this is because of my friend. And Ive become very
big because I stabbed
him. And Im happy over another persons unhappiness.
Jean: This is a movie.
Phoebe: And this is one of my best friends.
Jean: I understand.
Joey: Phoebe, I followed you, and put my ear against the door, but, if you want it, take it.
Joey: Im sorry.
Phoebe: Im sorry. (They hug and walk out)
Jean: Ah! Your casted! (They stick their heads back in)
Jean: You were auditioning, right?
Jean: You both got parts!
(Phoebe and Joey slap each other a high five)
Phoebe: Was I good, Jean?
Jean: As good as each other.
Joey: Thanks, Jean.
Jean: Right, practices are on, Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays for three
weeks, some other
odd practices and then we start filming.
Phoebe: Im sorry, Joey.
Joey: Im sorry, Phoebe. (They hug)
Jean: Youve already got the parts.
Joey: Yeah, but that was real. (The crowd goes oohh!)
(Scene: Ross and Joeys apartment. Ross, Monica and Chandler are there. Monica is
over Rosss wound.)
Monica: Chandler, tell me about sixty thousand.
Chandler: Right. My boss died and was giving very small businesses to his best
employees in each
Monica: And he gave you one?
Chandler: Im the best processor.
Monica: So, is that any reason to punch my brother?
Chandler: But I sold it. And made double the money. And bought Club Clusab.
Ross: But I put so much pressure on him in work.
Chandler: So, I quit.
Monica: Good. You dont need a rubbish job when you own a night club.
Chandler: On the condition that I work two more years for him.
Monica: You have no job, and no club?
Monica: How do you expext us to live?
Ross: Oh my God! Shes gonna throw another fit!
Monica: We cant pay our bills.
Ross: Get out!
Monica: Ill leave if every week, for 6 months, you give us half your pay cheque.
Monica: (Bounces up and down on the sette and chucks cushions out of the window.)
Ross: They were $100 a cushion!
Monica: Since you arent giving us money, you can afford to buy new ones!
Ross: OK! $350 a week.
Chandler: Thats more than I got anyway!
Ross: (Stares at Chandler madly)
Chandler: Did you like those cushions, Mon?
Chandler: We can afford to buy some now!
Ross: I cant!
(Scene: Phoebe and Rachels apartment. Phoebe, Joey and Jean are there.)
Phoebe: I gotta use the bathroom. (Does so.)
Jean: So, you gonna be rehearsing lines Saturday night?
Joey: No, Im gonna take a break Saturday night.
Jean: Me too. Why dont we take a break together?
Joey: Me and You?
Joey: Youre sixty years old!
Jean: Well you want a part in a film!
Joey: Get out!
Jean: But this is Phoebes aprtment!
Joey: And Im her boyfriend!
Jean: What about Gary?
Joey: Shes cheating on him!
Jean: Well! (Exits)
(Cut to hallway. Jean bumps into Gary on the steps.)
Jean: Sorry, Gary.
Gary: Oh, sorry, Jean.
Jean: Do you have a solid relationship with Phoebe?
Jean: Shes cheating on you!
Gary: With who?
Gary: Oh God!
Jean: Dont tell her I told you.
Gary: I wont.
(Scene: Rachel and Phoebes apartment. Hugh, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe are there.
Rachel and Hugh are
shouting at each other in the kitchen and Phoebe and Joey are sat down.)
Joey: So, I told her to get out. That means that we dont get parts in our films.
Phoebe: Its OK. It was a stupid film anyway. Plus, Jeans camera man was hitting on me!
Joey: The one with the hair?
(Cut to Rachel and Hugh)
Rachel: I didnt call.
Hugh: You did!
Rachel: (Realises who called.)
Hugh: Whats wrong?
Hugh: Have you fallen out again?
Rachel: Yes. (Picks up the phone) Chandler Bing, please. Chandler? Hi, its
Rachel. Monica told me to
tell you that you are fat lump of dog dollop. And that she is gonna trash all your stuff. And shell be
moved out by the time you come home.
(Cut to later when Rachel and Hugh are cutting up Chandlers clothes, Rachel is
cutting and Hugh is
throwing Monicas clothes out of the window.)
Rachel: This is so fun!
(Cut to later when all the clothes are in pieces and Hugh and Rachel are walking out of the apartment.)
Hugh: So, Ive got a treat. We are going to go to the travel agents and book us a
holiday for a couple of
weeks flying tonight.
Rachel: Oh, yeah!
(Scene: The hallway outside Ross and Joeys aprtment. Joey is walking to it and bumps into Hot Girl.)
Joey: Hot Girl!
HotGirl: Cant count boy!
HotGirl: You fancy a coffee?
(They start to walk down the corridor when Gary comes up to them pointing his gun at them.)
Joey: Hey, man!
Gary: Girl, I just saw him kissing some hippy in the street so hes cheating on you.
HotGirl: Cant count boy! (She turns round and slaps him round the face. Then
kicks him in the
stomach. He falls to the floor and she hits him with her bag.)
Gary: I gotta go to my girlfriend. See ya.
(Scene: Rachel and Phoebes apartment. Rachel and Hugh are walking out of the door
suitcases as Chandler comes in.)
Chandler: She did it.
Chandler: My clothes. These are my only clothes, the ones Im wearing!
(Monica rushes in.)
Monica: Chandler! All my clothes are gone!
Chandler: Why did you do it?
Monica: Do what?
(Rachel and Hugh walk silently out.)
Chandler: Rip my clothes up!
Monica: Well if you want to blame me for something I dont know about, no.
Chandler: You dont know about it?
Monica: I have no idea what you are talking about. But where are my clothes gone?
Chandler: Rachel! Rachel!
(Cut to Monica and Chandler getting ina cab behing Rachel and Hugh.)
Chandler: Follow that cab! I always wanted to say that!
Taxi Driver: Im going! Do you want fast or medium?
Monica: I said fast!
Taxi Driver: And I say fast is gonna cost you.
Chandler: Just go.
(Cut to a highway, the cab is in hot pursuit.)
(Cut to the airport. Chandler and Monica watch as they go through the door onto the plane.)
Chandler: They got away!
Chandler: Do you know what?
Chandler: We are supposed to be driving here to go on our holiday!
Chandler: Actually, our plane is the plane that they are on.
Monica: Oh God!
Tannoy: Final call for flight 23014 to Greece.
Chandler: Our tickets!
(Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Gary are there.)
Phoebe: And then he said, wardrobe, and Im like, central heating !
Gary: You been cheating with him aswell?
Gary: Well, youre seeing Joey behind my back!
Gary: Jean told me Joey said you were cheating on me.
Phoebe: Oh, no! Its because Jean was hitting on him!
Gary: Oh. Right! Thats why she was so angry when I saw her storming out of your apartment!
Phoebe: Yeah! I was in the toilet at the time!
Joey: You wanna shoot me now?
Gary: Oh no!
Joey: then why did you threaten to shoot Hot Girl?
Gary: Because I thought you were gonna sleep with Phoebe!
Joey: Well, Im free tonight, Pheebs.
(Scene: A street. Ross is walking up it. It must be the street outside his apartment
buliding, because he
sees his cushions. A man picks them up before Ross can get them.)
Ross: Hey, man, I think those are my cushions.
Man: And I think theyre mine.
Ross: Yeah, you dont understand, my sister threw them out of my window. They really are mine.
Man: See that bruise on your face?
Ross: No, cos its below my eye.
Man: Ill help you see the bruise. (He punches Ross in the eye.)