THE ONE WHERE THINGS ALMOST GOT BACK TO "NORMAL"
Written by: Beth
Disclamer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
This is my first fanfic and it continues where "The One That Could Have Been" (episode 615+616) left off. And since I live in Norway I haven´t seen this episode, - here we´ve only gotten to the end of season five. I´ve only read Eric Aasen´s tanscrption of this episode. So if you haven´t seen or read "The One That Could Have Been" this may not make much sense. I hope you enjoy it.
(Scene: Sentral Perk, Rachel is there sitting by the bar drinking coffee, Monica enters.)
Monica: (Happy) Hi Rachel.
Rachel: (depresed) Hi. (They move over to the couch)
Monica: What´s up? (Sees that she is sad). What happened?
Rachel: Barry´s cheating on me.
Monica: What!! How´d you find out?
Rachel: Well, after my disasterous night with Joey I dicided to cut the weekend short, and I went home, only to find Barry in bed with another woman. Can you belive it, and in our bed, too.
Monica: No way!!
Rachel: And then on top of it all, he yelled at me for comming home early. So I kind of left him.
Monica: I´m so sorry. But if you need a place to stay for a while, you can stay with me and Phoebe, I´m sure she wont mind.
Rachel: Thanks that would be great, I dont think I can stay in that house with Barry any more. Anyway what are you all exited about?
Monica: I don´t know if you want to hear about this right now. But I did IT!!!
Rachel: You did what? (Not really paying attention to what Monica´s saying)
Monica: (Shyly) You know. IT lost my flower (whispers the last). And it was great.
Rachel: OH my god! You had sex with the doctor!!
Monica: Robert? Nooo, we sort of broke up.
(Scene: same as before)
Rachel: What?? You broke up? Then who??
Monica: OK, I´ll tell you. But you must promise me not to tell anyone, ok? And with that I mean anyone.
Rachel: OK, OK!!! Who? Who?
Monica: Well, after, you know, our talk the other day, I decided that that was going to be the night with Robert. Because you where right I had been waiting to long. And even though Robert wasn´t exactly the man of my dreams I thought, what the heck.
Rachel: Please, get to the point!!
Monica: Okay! Okay! Just calm down. Well, he came over and I was trying really hard to seduce him. I had cocked him this really fancy dinner, and everything. And then, of course, his beeper went off, and he had to rush to the hospital.
Rachel: Then what happened?
Rachel: (To Ross) Hey! (To Monica) So tell me. What happened then?
Monica: (Whispers to Rachel) I´ll tell you the rest later. (To Ross) Hi, what´s up? (Ross sits down next to her)
Ross: (Depressed) I belive my wife is a lesbian.
Monica: What!!! How´d you figure that?
Ross: Well, I was talking to Phoebe about ways to spice up my sex life. And I sort of mentioned some of them to Carol. At first she wasn´t to in to it, but when I brought up the possibility of us having a threesome she got all excited!!
Monica: Realy?? Why??
Ross: Dhu, I don´t konw. Maybe because she´s a LESBIAN!! Anyway she got really excited, and she came up with this long list of womens names. You know, who would be willing to do it. So we did, and I kinda, didn´t get to participate as much as I hoped to.
Monica: No details, please. Go on.
Ross: Well, then Joey told me that it seemed like she´s gay. So I went home and confronted her with it.
Rachel: You did? What´d she say??
Ross: She said that I was right, that she is a lesbian. She´d realised it about six months ago, when she met this new friend of her´s, Susan at the gym. I can´t belive I didn´t notice. I can´t belive SHE didn´t know. How could she not have known??
Monica: OH, Ross, I´m so sorry. So what are you gonna do now?
Ross: Well, I can´t stay with Carol anymore. I´ll guess I´ll be moving out. Maybe I´ll ask Chandler if I can move in with him for a while. You know, I could stay in Joey´s old room.
Monica: (Panicking) N-n-no, no, no. You can´t move in with Chandler!
Ross: Why not??
Monica: B-b-because, he, he (thinks about it) eh, eh Rachel is moving in.
Monica: Well, gotta go. See you. (Gets up and walks out)
Ross: What was that all about? Didn´t you think Monica was acting kinda wierd? The way she just ran out like that and the fact she wasn´t eating anything.
Rachel: She had sex!
Ross: OH?! (in his head) that explains everything!!
Rachel: Anyway I´m not moving in with Chandler. I´m gonna stay at Monica´s for a while.
Ross: I guess I´m gonna be seeing you quite alot then eh if Chandler let me stay in Joey´s old room. I have to find him. See ya´. (Gets up and runs out, Rachel just shakes her head.)
(Scene: Joey´s appartment, Joey and Chandler are there)
Chandler: So things didn´t go as planned with Rachel?
Joey: No. She kinda got sick, threw up and fell asleep.
Chandler: She is married you know. So maybe it was all for the best?
Joey: Yeah, she told me. And you´re right. Even though I can get any girl I want now that I´m Dr. Drake Remoray - n-n-n-not that I couldnt get them before, just so were clear on that I dont want to be the guy who breaks up a marriage.
Chandler: Duh, we used to be room-mates, remember?
(There´s a knock at the door. Joey opens the door to reveal Ross)
Joey/Chandler: Hi, Ross. What´s up?
Ross: (To Chandler) I don´t know if Joey told you, but I had a threesome with my wife and her friend Susan, and now my wife is a lesbian.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, what happened?
Ross: Well, I was talking to Phoebe about ways to (tells the whole story again, timelaps) and now I need a place to chrash for a while. So Chandler, what do you say to us beeing roommates again? Just like college, huh?
Chandler: (Hesitates) Well O-O-Okay.
Ross: (Hugs Chandler) Thanks alot man.
Joey: So you guys wanna go get som coffee or something? And maybe we can get ourslves some dates for tonight?
Ross: I think I´m gonna pass. I´m not really in the dating mood. Wonder why? Well, I gotta og and thanks again Chandler. Bye. (leavs)
Joey: What about you Chandler? How about me and you ask out this hot girl I met the other day? She has a really hot sister, too. And she saied she would go out with me if I could find a date for her sister.
Chandler: No, I`ll think I`ll pass, too .Eh, I have to clear out some boxes and stuff from your old room before Ross moves in.
Joey: Ahh, come on. You can do that tomorrow, can´t you?
Chandler: No can do! I´m, I´m .. gonna be busy all day tomorrow.
Joey: DOING WHAT??!!
Chandler: (Ignors Joey´s question) Why don´t you give Rachel a call? Monica told me she´s gonna be staying with her and Phoebe for a while, untill she can find an appartment and her divorce comes thru.
Joey: Her divorce?
Chandler: Jeah, she came home to find her husband in bed with another woman. Just like Ross, .oh no he found his wife in bed with another woman (giggles).
Joey: Really?! Maybe I´ll give her a call.
(Scene: Monica and Phoebe´s, Monica is sitting at the kitchen table reading a magasine, Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Is Phoebe or Rachel around?
Monica: No, Rachel went to pick up some of her stuff and wont be back untill tomorrow and Phoebe is .well I don´t know where Phoebe is.
Chandler: Hi there gourgeouss (goes over to kiss her). Are you busy tomorrow?
Monica: Not really, why?
Monica: But that room is empty!
Chandler: I know. I said it to get out of a double date with him, this girl he met and her sister.
Monica: What´s that gotta do with tomorrow?
Chandler: He asked me why I couldn´t move the boxes then, and I told him I would be busy all day. So is there anything you wanna do?
Monica: Well, I dont know we could go to a motel and just stay in bed all day!!
Chandler: Jeah! Why didn´t I think of that? (They walk over and sit on the couch)
Monica: So Ross is really moving in, huh?
Chandler: Afraid so. I just couldn´t say no to him, he looked so sad and he is my best friend.
Monica: I thought I was your best friend!
Chandler: You are. You´re my best girlfriend, (moves closer and gives her a kiss) and I can´t do this with Ross (kisses her again).
Monica: Oh, Chandler! You´re so cute!
(Phoebe enters, Chandler and Monica automaticly move away from each other)
Phoebe: Hi guys, what are you up to??
Monica/Chandler: NOTHING!! We´re not doing anything.
Chandler: I, I just came over to tell Monica about Ross moving into Joey´s old room.
Phoebe: Yeah. I just saw Joey, and he told me what happened. And I kinda feel guilty, because it´s all my fault.
Monica: How´s it your fault, Phoeebs?
Phoebe: Duhu, I was the one who told him to do it, okay! (Meaning she told him to have a threesome.)
Monica: (Not quite getting it) Right?! ..(getting it) Oh!
Chandler: So, what´s it like not having a job to go to?
Phoebe: It´s actually great. I didn´t think it would be, with me being used to being so busy all the time - I thaught I would go nuts within a day. But I´ve enjoyed sleeping in, going for long walks in the park, meeting new people, getting in tuch with my aura again - I couldn´t belive I had lost it and making up some new songs, suff like that. And I stopped by my old work, you know the massage place, and they might have some work for me.
Chandler: That´s great. So you´re not still mad at Ross for not telling you about you being fired?
Phoebe: No, I don´t hate him any more. Besides he is much worse off than I am, with his wife being gay and everything.
Monica: That reminds me. Rachel´s husband is cheating on her, so I kinda told her she could stay here with us for a while. She´ll be back tomorrow with some of her stuff.
Phoebe: (Under her breath) OH great!
Monica: What was that?!
Phoebe: I, I just said (happy) you know what´s great? I talked to Gunther today, about letting me play my songs at Central Perk. And he´s gonna let me do it .Well, this unemployment thing is really making me tired, so I´m just gonna hit the sack. Goodnight.
Monica: Phoeebs, just one more thing before you go. Now that you have time to eat here again, could you please remember to use coasters underneath your cups and glasses, and put the dishes away. You know I can´t stand the mess.
Phoebe: OK! (Goes into her room)
Chandler: (Moves closer to Monica, whispers.) So maybe we could continue this over at my place?
Monica: (Whispers) Ok. (Loud) So do you want me to help you get rid of that stain you got on your carpet?
Chandler: Yes, can you take a look at it now?
Monica: Okay, lets do it now. (They get up and walk over to Chandler´s)
(Scene: Joey´s appartment, Joey´s there, there´s a knock at the door, Joey opens it to reveal Rachel).
Rachel: Good you´re home. Can I come in?
Joey: Sure, come in. (Rachel throws her arms around Joey´s neck) (In his head) She couldn´t resist me after all. (Loud) How y´donin´? (Gives her "the look".)
Rachel: (She kisses him on the lips.) I´ve always wanted to do that. You know, I came home and found out that my husband, Barry has been cheating on me. So now Im gonna cheat on him (kisses him more passionatly and starts unbuttoning his shirt).
Joey: (Pushes her away) Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute. You just came over here to use me to get back at your husband?!
Joey: Okay. (Pulls her closer and kisses her.)
(Scene: Chandler´s appartment, continued from before.)
Monica: Do you think Phoebe noticed anything?
Chandler: About us you mean? (Not waiting for an answer) No, she was to caught up with herself. Besides who, who would belive her? You and me - together. (Kisses her on the lips.)
Monica: Yeah, I can hardly belive it myself. You and me! I mean, who would have thought?
Chandler: You´d better belive it (kisses her passionatly). But maybe we should keep it our selves for now. And there´s your brother. He´s moving in tomorrow, and, and you know, he is really upset about Carol being gay, and everything. So I dont think he is ready to hear that his best friend is dating his little sister.
Monica: You´re right. And this seaking around kinda makes the whole thing more fun. (Remembers something) Oh no!!
Monica: I sorte of, almost, told Rachel about us.
Chandler: But, you didn´t?!
Monica: Well, I told her I had sex, and that it wasn´t with Robert.
Chandler: You told her it was ME?
Monica: I was about to. But then Ross interupted us. She´s probably gonna want to bring it up again.
Chandler: You´ll just have to make something up then, if she asks you about it again.
Monica: Jeah, I´ll think of something. Now, lets make the best out of our last night alone. (She kisses him passionatly, and they walk into Chandler´s bedroom, the door closes behind them.)
(Scene: Ross and Carol´s house. Ross, Carol and Ben are sitting at the kitchen table having dinner.)
Ben: May I be excused?
Carol: Yes, you may. Why don´t you go upstairs and play in your room. (Ben leaves) You know, Ross, you moving out it´s all for the best.
Ross: Are you sure? Isn´t there any way we can work this out?
Carol: I don´t think so. I can´t help being the way I am. It´s not like I can have surgery or take a pill or something.
Ross: I know. But what I don´t get is, why couldn´t you have known about this BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED?
Carol: I wish I had, it has all been very confusing to me too. But look at the bright side, if I had realised this before we were married, we wouldn´t have had Ben. You´re still gonna be his father, you know?
Ross: Jeah, I know. Maybe it´s time we tell him, huh?
Carol: BEN!! Can you come down here, please? We have to talk to you about something.
Ben: (Enters the kitchen) What is it?
Ross: Eh..eh you know your mommy and daddy loves you alot, right? But it´s just that mommy doesn´t love daddy anymore, so dad´s gonna be moving out, okay?
Carol: Ross?! (To Ben) I still love your father, but not the way I used to. And that makes it difficult for us to live in the same house. That is why your dad will be moving out. But you will be able to visit him whenever you want, you understand?
Ross: BEN!! (To Carol) You see, what you´ve done. He is not gonna understand why his father has to move out and that a woman is gonna move in instead. HE IS ONLY FOUR! .(Realises something) OH NO!!!
Ross: (Panicking) It´s already happening! He is in denial! He´s gonna turn out like Chandler.
Carol: Hay, Chandler. Ross seems to think that just because we´re breaking up, Ben´s gonna grow up to be just like you.
Chandler: (To Ross) And what´s that supposed to mean?
Ross: Remember, when your father moved out to live with that other man? You started smoking and using humor as a defense mekanism. And it´s made you afraid of commitment. You can only go out with a girl for like a week before you start freaking out.
Chandler: That is so not true!! For your information I´m seeing a girl right now. And this time I´m really sure it´s gonna last a whole lot longer than a week.
Ross: Oh yeah!! How do you figure that?? And who is this girl??
Chandler: She´s eh . Never mind.
(Scene: Monica and Phoebe´s. Monica is there watching TV.)
Phoebe: (Enters) Hi. (Hangs her jacket on a kitchen chair.)
Monica: Hey, Phoeebs. (Sees the jacket) We have hangers you know.
Phoebe: I know. (Goes to sit down.)
Monica: THEN USE IT!!!
Phoebe: (Goes to hang up her jacket) (In her head) Neat freak!! (Loud) Do we have any soda?
Monica: I don´t know. Check the refrigirator (does not take her eyes off the TV.)
Phoebe: (Poures her self a glass and goes to sit down again.) (Monica´s giving her a dirty look) Oh, I´m sorry, did you want some too?
Monica: No!! COASTER!! COASTER!! Didn´t I tell you, you always have to use a coaster?
Phoebe: Relax, Mon!! (In her head) I CAN´T TAKE THIS NO MORE!!!!!