Joey's Witch

An Orginal Fanfic by: LiSa

Itchy Fingers

    Joey had itchy fingers. He didn't know why but they were red and sore and they really weren't that pretty to look at. He stratched them but it only made them worse.

"CHANDLER!" He yelled, and there was a few moments silence and then the door to Chandler's room opened. Chandler stood there and looked at Joey, his hair standing up on end and clothes all messy.

"Joey it's three o'clock in the morning. WHAT IS IT!"

"My fingers are itchy!" Joey moaned "I can't sleep."

"I told you to wash your hands after you used the oven cleaner, but did you listen? NO! NO! you didn't listen, and now I GET WAKEN UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT...."

"You weren't sleeping" Joey interrupted him "I do try and sleep next door."

"Well I was doing something that was alot more enjoyable than talking to you at three o'clock in the morning Joey." Chandler snapped. Joey made a sad face and Chandler raised his eyes to the ceiling.
"Go around to the drugstore and get some witch-hazel it should ease the itching." Chandler said, and then he turned around and marched into his room, slamming the door behind him. Joey nodded and grabbed a pair of shoes and his coat and headed out the door.

    The store was deserted except for the all night clerk. Joey patrolled through the aisles looking for a tube a of witch-hazel but he couldn't seem to find it. His fingers were getting worse.

"There's no such thing as witch-hazel" Joey muttered to himself "What does Chandler think I am, A witch! I'm not! so I don't need no hazel."

"I think they keep the witch-hazel over there."

Joey looked up and there was beautiful woman standing beside him. She was tall with beautiful long curly red hair and the most amazing green eyes.

She was pointing at the bandages and other medicines but Joey didn't notice.

"Uh huh" he just said, dumbstruck as though some spell had been cast over him. The woman smiled, and reached over and grabbed a tube.

"There you are." She said putting it into his hand. Joey nodded, still transfixed by her eyes. She giggled and threw back of wave of hair. Joey thought it was the most beautiful laugh he'd ever hear, like the tinkle of bells and glasses. The woman extended her hand to Joey and he took it, shaking it lightly.

"My name's Miranda." she said, and Joey smiled goofly. There was a pause   "And what's your name?" Miranda asked.

"Jo..Joey! That's it, my name is Joey!" He said and went back to smiling at Miranda. She smiled and then glanced at his fingers.

"Oh my, how sore they look! You poor thing." Miranda said and rubbed Joey's hands. All of a sudden the itch seemed to disappear.

"Wow!" Joey cried "You have the healing touch! Now I don't need that witchy stuff."

"Witch-Hazel" Miranda said "It's good stuff."

"Not as good as those hands!" Joey cried "and they come with a nicer package too!"


Joey looked away from Miranda's eyes and right at the masked man with a gun.

"Oh Crap." He said and looked at Miranda. Her eyes were boiling and she was looking straight at the man. She did not looking happy. She started towards the front of the shop where the man was standing.

"Miranda!" Joey said grabbing her arm, "That's not a good idea."

"It's wrong!" Miranda said and shook Joey off. She walked up to the counter and the man.

"Hey you I told you to get down on the floor." The man said looking at Miranda and Joey.

"She was just getting down. Come on Miranda, let's do what the nice man says."

"No! He's not a nice man!" Miranda said, "Put down the gun."

"Listen lady, just do as he says!" The clerk said, slowly backing away from the counter.

The masked man raised the shotgun and pointed it at Miranda.

"Get down on the floor or I'll blow you away." The man said. Miranda shook her head, and suddenly a box seemed to fly out of nowhere and hit the man in the head. Stunned he dropped the gun and Joey dived for it before it hit the floor.

"Oh man that was close." He said, cradling the gun in his hand. The man looked down at Joey and lunged at him. They struggled on the ground, and then the gun went off. The man got up and backed away from Joey who slowly got to his feet. There was blood pouring from his left shoulder.

"HE SHOT ME!" Joey exclaimed still not sure what had happen, then he looked at the man "You shot me!" Joey leant back with and then brought his right fist up. It connected with the man's jaw and he fell to floor, banging his head off the ground and going unconsious.

"Wow, he's out cold." Joey said and looked at Miranda.

"You're so brave Joey." She said, and the last thing Joey saw before he blacked out was her glowing green eyes.


    When he came too Joey was in a hospital bed, surronded by all his friends. His shoulder hurt like hell. Monica was sitting beside him, hold his right hand, and Pete stood beside her. He looked to his left and there was Chandler and Liana both with concerned looks on their faces. At the end of
the bed stood Ross and Rachel, and Phoebe was in the corner, resting her back. Both Monica and Phoebe had to sit because they were both past the six months mark in their preganacy.

"Hey, what happen?" Joey asked.

"You got shot Joey." Chandler said. Joey threw a glance at the ceiling.

"Yeh I know that but what happened after that?" Joey asked.

"The clerk called an ambulance and the police, and they came and took you to the hospital. You've been out cold for almost a day, sweetie" Monica said.

"I can't believe you got shot. Now I'm not the only one!" Phoebe said. That stopped everyone and they turned and looked at her.

"When did you get shot?" Liana asked.

"When I was living on the streets after my mom died." Phoebe explained.

"Wait, you got shot but you couldn't get a tattoo." Rachel said.

"Well I didn't get shot volunterily did I?" Phoebe said.

"Hey what about me!" Joey said and everyone turned back to him. "That's better. Now first times first, what happened to Miranda?"

"Who's Miranda?" Ross asked.

"The girl who was in the drugstore when I got shot." Joey said "What happened to her? Where is she?"

There was silence in the room for a few moments and then Pete spoke. "Joey, when the police arrived there was only you, the clerk and the robber." Pete said.

"No Miranda was there too."

"There was no one else there."

"But she stopped the man, look she made my fingers better." Joey said and held up his hand for everyone to see. Chandler peered over and looked at his fingers.

"Well they certainly look better but the doctors could have done something Joe." Chandler said. Joey shook his head.

"No. Miranda was there." Joey insisted. "She was there."

    Phoebe sighed as Monica tugged her into the babystore. All over the shop were tiny little garments, shoes and strollers.

"Monica, I don't want to be here." Phoebe moaned. Monica shook her head and contiuned pulling Phoebe in.

"I'm telling you Phoebe, just buy one stroller, you need a stroller. And while you are, I'll get some things."

"You mean some more things" Phoebe said "You already have a room full."

"I know, I know" Monica said "But I just want little Andrea to have lots of nice stuff. Oh it's so brilliant, and when little Danny comes they can be friends and play together, and grow up and be best friends just like us, and then fall in love and get married, and then we'd be related! Oh it's
going to be so great!"

"Monica, they aren't even born yet. Anyway I don't know if Danny would want to marry Andrea. He may not even like her." Phoebe said and stopped to look at a stroller that didn't seem to expensive. She felt Monica drop her hand and Phoebe glanced up at her. Monica had a thunderous look on her face.

"What?" Phoebe asked.

"Why wouldn't he like my Andrea? What is she not pretty enough? Is she not thin enough?" Monica said.

"No, he may not like her as a person." Phoebe said and regretted it as soon as it came out of her mouth.

"Why? WHY? Why wouldn't she be nice person. Am'nt I a nice person." Monica said. "Well I don't know if Andrea would like Danny, I mean he'll probably!"

"OHH!" Phoebe said "That is mean! My Danny is not ugly! You're Andrea is!"

"NO SHE'S NOT!" Monica cried "Danny is, and he's stupid too."

"Well Andrea can't read."

"Danny can play sports!"

"Andrea can't sing!"

"Well Danny smells!"

"Well Andrea won't mind cause she won't know him!"

"Well I won't want her knowing anyone who had a mother like you!" Monica said.

"Well I wouldn't want to know anyone with a mother like you!"

"Well I wouldn't want to know you!" Monica yelled.

"Fine with me!" Phoebe said.



There was silence as they both stood glaring at each other. Then Monica turned and stormed out of the store. Phoebe looked around and then stormed down the back of the store to look at more strollers.

To Be Contiuned.