The One With the Internet

Written by: Sarah Sharlit and Sandra Prusina

Scene 1: Chandler and Joey's Apartment (Ross, and Chandler are there both looking at Chandler's laptop)

Chandler: <pointing> Ok Ross. <excitedly> Welcome to the World Wide Web! The Super Information Highway!

Ross: Wow, this is cool. I've never been on it before. What can you do?

Chandler: Pick up chicks.

Ross: <groaning> Seriously Chandler. As if I want to meet women on here.

Chandler: Hey! I AM serious. How do you think I met up with Janice.

Ross: And that went where? Are you still together today?

Chandler: But, that's not the point, the point is, you can meet people on here, and you don't have to talk to them in person.

Ross: Well I guess that you've got a point. But actually, <goes to his briefcase and takes out some papers> I've got these web addresses a co-worker came me.

Chandler: Really? What are they on?

Ross:<happily> Dinosaurs!!!

Chandler: <sarcastically> Golly gee! Let's hurry up and check them out!

Ross: I KNOW! <smiling>

Scene 2: Bloomingdales (Rachel/Sophies' desk, both of them are there, eating lunch)

Sophie: Hey Rach? Have you been on the Internet before?

Rachel: Not really. I've heard so much about it, but I never really paid attention to it. My friend Chandler is really into it though.

Sophie: Well, I just heard that we got this America Online or something on our computers. Want to give it a try?

Rachel: Sure! <walks over to Sophie's side and grabs a seat in front of the computer> What do we have to do?

Sophie: Ok, I already filled out all the information. The company pays for it, so all that we have to do is make up a screen name. Any suggestions?

Rachel: A screen name? Ok...<pause> Well considering that we both work at Bloomingdales how about, BloomGals or something?

Sophie: Sounds good! Ok <types something into the computer>. There we go. We are official BloomGals.

Scene 3: Chandler and Joey's apartment (Chandler and Ross are still in front of the computer)

Chandler: Alright, I already have my own screen name, but consider this is your first time, and so many people know me on here, I think it would be a good idea if we gave you your own screen name. Ok?

Ross: That sounds good. I think I should have something that suits me, but doesn't really tell people who I am. <pauses> Does Paleoguy sound Ok?

Chandler: Why that?

Ross: I am a Paleontologist, and I'm a guy. So, there ya go.

Chandler: Ok, fine. Paleoguy it is. <types something> Well, there's your name. All you have to do is log on.

Ross: Ok, great.

Chandler: <checks his watch> Oh! Damn!

Ross: What?

Chandler: I gotta go! I'm going to be late for a meeting. Can I leave you here own your own?

Ross: <playfully> I'll be a good boy mommy!

Chandler: Don't play with the matches! <leaves>

Ross: <sits in front of the computer> This is going to be fun! <types something and waits> Ok, I'm logged on. Wait! What do I do now? <looks around the room> I have no idea what to do...<sighs> How do I get into a chat room? <types something> Whoops...I DO NOT want to go into that chat room! <types something else> do I get out now? <you hear a little noise> Cool! Someone sent me a message! <reads>

Bob199: Hey there PALEOGUY, care to have a little online fun? 30 year old male here.

Ross: <gives a disgusted look to the screen> What have I done!??! <types something else> Ok, it says to type the name of the chat room that I am looking for. Well I think I better go into something in the beginner stage. <types something> Ok. I'm in! <smile> You are a smart one Geller.

Scene 4: Bloomingdales (Rachel/Sophie' Desk, They are both still sitting in front of the computer)

Rachel: Ok, this beginner chat room isn't helping. There are only two people here!

Sophie: <taking something out of the filing cabinet> Who?

Rachel: A Paleoguy.

Sophie: Well talk to him, because I really have to get going.

Rachel: <panicking> What?! You're leaving me!? What if they try something weird?! What if he finds out who I am?

Sophie: Rachel! Calm down, it's a computer, it won't bite.

Rachel: <sighs> Oh alright. But if I'm not here went you come back...

Sophie: <out the door> Bye Rach! <leaves>

Rachel: Ok....well here goes nothing.

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Hi there.

Paleoguy: Hi. Seems like we are the only beginners in here.

BloomGals: Looks that way. This is my first time on the Internet.

Paleoguy: Me too. Are you into computers much?

BloomGals: I just use them at work, but other than that, not really.

Paleoguy: Yeah same here. I just wanted to try it out. I still don't get it.

BloomGals: Join the club.

Paleoguy: So....

BloomGals: So....

Paleoguy: One of my friends is so lame! He said that he thinks the Internet is a great place to meet woman.

BloomGals: That's funny. I'm sorry to say, but I don't think that I would ever get involved in one of these "online" relationships. I would rather meet someone in person. Which I can't really do right now?

Paleoguy: I agree.

[cut to Rachel]

Rachel: <frowns> Ok...thanks a lot.

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Well, thank you very much! I don't even know you and you think that I can't meet men!

Paleoguy: What? Oh sorry! I didn't mean that, I meant, that I don't believe in these online relationships either.

BloomGals: Oh Ok. Sorry about that.

Paleoguy: No problem.

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <thinks then smiles and types something>

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: How come you think that you can't meet men? You same like a really nice person.

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <smiling> Way to start it off Ross, just suck up.

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: I honestly don't know. I was going out with this guy for a really long time. I loved him lots, and I think we had a pretty harsh ending. Since then, I just haven't put too much effort into relationships. But you know, I really wouldn't mind meeting someone nice, and honest.

Paleoguy: Oh really. Wow.

BloomGals: So, what's your story Paleoguy?

Paleoguy: Story?

BloomGals: Yeah, are you currently attached?

Paleoguy: I wish. I'm in the same boat with you. I had a really great relationship with this great woman, but it ended very badly. I surely did not want it to end.

BloomGals: Really?

Paleoguy: Yes.

BloomGals: Wow sorry to hear that. So...

Paleoguy: So...

BloomGals: What do you feel like talking about?

Paleoguy: I don't really know.

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <looks at his watch then types>

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Actually, I'm sorry to say, but I have to get going.

BloomGals: Oh Ok. Well it was nice talking to you.

Paleoguy: Wait a sec! Do you want to meet on here again? You're the only online friend that I have at the moment.

[cut to Rachel]

Rachel: <thinks> This is really weird, but pretty fun. <types>

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Sure, when?

Paleoguy: What about tonight sometime, I'll just ask my friend if I can use his computer.

BloomGals: Sounds good. Where do you live? Just so we have the same time?

Paleoguy: New York City. You?

BloomGals: Wow. Hard to believe, but same here.

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <smiles> Wow. This is too cool.

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Say about 8 tonight?

BloomGals: Sounds good. See you then.

Paleoguy: Bye!

[cut to Ross]

Ross: Hey! Did I just make myself a cyber date? <thinks> Nah!

<Rachel's work>

Rachel: Did I just accept a cyber date? <shakes her head> Well...<confused> I sure hope not.

Scene 5: Monica and Rachel's Apartment (Monica and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is watching TV, as Monica prepares something in the kitchen)

Phoebe: Hey Mon. Do you ever wonder about parade floats?

Monica:<in disbelief> Parade floats? Well sorry to say Pheebs, but they don't cause me to lose any sleep.

Phoebe: No I mean. Last night, I had this weird dream. It felt so real. I was at the Macy's
Thanksgiving Parade, and then all of them started going out of control <using hand motions> They were flying all over the city, and as we began to eat dinner here, we saw Underdog, flying over the building like last time. And then it attacked us!

Monica: Wow...well Pheebs I don't really know what to say.
<Rachel enters>

Rachel: Hey!

Monica/Phoebe: Hi!

Monica: How was work?

Rachel: Great! <hanging up her coat> I met a guy!

Phoebe: Wohoo! What does he look like?

Rachel: Well I haven't actually seen his face.

Monica: And you met him how?

Rachel: <quickly> On the Internet?

Monica: <shocked, but barely keeping herself from laughing> On the Internet? Whoa, I didn't think that you, of all people would stoop that low.

Phoebe: Yeah''re. You know what? You're pulling a Chandler.

Rachel: Well I have a cyber date in 15 minutes. I took my laptop from work. I better go get ready! <starts to go in her room, and turns back and looks at Monica and Phoebe!> Oh shut up!

Scene 6: Chandler and Joey's (Chandler is there, watching TV. Ross runs in)

Ross: <out of breath> Chandler! Chandler! I need your computer!

Chandler: <turns around to face Ross> Why? <sadly> To look at more Dinosaur web pages?

Ross: No! <looks for the computer> Ok! Just forget it! I'm going to be using it for awhile.
<throws his jacket on the floor. Chandler looks at it. Then Ross starts to take off his tie>

Chandler: EWWW!!! <yells> What are you doing on the Internet?!?!?

Ross: <rolls his eyes> Chandler, would you please leave!

Chandler: <disgustedly> Oh! I know what you are doing? <starts to leave> First he strips...then he wants to be alone <leaves>.

Ross: <looking at the computer> Ok, now I have to log in. <types something> Done. Now, <smiles> where are you BloomGal?

Scene 7: Rachel Bedroom (Rachel lays on her bed, with the computer, connecting it to the phone line)

Rachel: Ok. I better know how to use this thing. <types something> Alright, I did it on my own! <smiles> Back to the beginner room. <types then excitedly says> There he is!

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Hi!

Paleoguy: Hi!

BloomGals: Have you been waiting long? I have a tendency to be a little late. Sorry.

Paleoguy: No problem. I just got here not to long ago myself. But I was talking to someone, and they say you can go into your own private rooms. Do you want to do that?

BloomGals: Sure. What do we do?

Paleoguy: First, we need to make a name. Got any ideas?

BloomGals: Ok, how about BloomandPaleo.

Paleoguy: Ok great! Just get to join, the type that in.

Rachel: Ok, <pause> join....<pauses and then types> Did it.

Paleoguy: Welcome!

BloomGals: Thank you. I can't believe I even did that.

Paleoguy: : )

BloomGals: Wow, how did you do that?

Paleoguy: Just use your keyboard.

Rachel: <staring at the keyboard blankly> OH!

BloomGals: Smart and cute, I like that. : )

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <smiling at the computer> I know...<laughs>

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Great! Well since we are friends, we don't we find out a little more about each other. You go first?

BloomGals: Me?

Paleoguy: Yeah, you're the lady!

BloomGals: Ok. What do you want to know?

Paleoguy: Anything you want to tell me : )

BloomGals: Wow, and not pushy. I like that! Anyways, well I don't really know what to tell you. I'm 29, an avid shopper, I like going to the movies, listening to music, being with my friends, and did I mention shopping.

Paleoguy: Wow. So you're a shopper. I actually got into that because of the last girlfriend I told you about. I went shopping with her all the time!

BloomGals: Really? That's great to hear. What about you?

Paleoguy: I'm 29 too. I really like my job, listening to music, playing racquetball, and hanging out with my friends too.

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <thinking> I don't really think that I should tell her about Ben or Carol yet. Might be a little too much for her. But what if...<types>

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Do you like kids?

BloomGals: Oh yeah! I love them. One of my friends has one and I adore him.

Paleoguy: Great! So...

[cut to Rachel]

Rachel: This guy is nice! Wait, I still have to ask him stuff....<types>

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Look, I really want to be honest. Because that's the best way of starting up a relationship.

Paleoguy: Do we have a relationship?

BloomGals: I hope we do.

Paleoguy: : )

BloomGals: This is what I'm looking for in a relationship. So open up those ears!

Paleoguy: Yes!!! Done!

BloomGals: Well, I'm really looking for a serious relationship with a honest guy. I guess you shouldn't tell guys that you are looking for a serious one, but if we are going to be honest. I won't lie to you.

Paleoguy: I hear you and I understand.

BloomGals: : ) Great. Ok then, I guess just as long as you are sweet and respect me for who I am, and what I do, I'll like you. I have to tell you, my job and friends are really important to me, not matter what. I hope that's Ok.

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <smiles> Wow! <rest his head on his hand sighs, then caresses the computer screen> I think I'm in love!

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Are you still there?

Paleoguy: Yes! Sorry!


Scene 8: Chandler and Joey's apartment <Chandler and Joey enter finding Ross
still deeply engrossed with the computer>

Chandler: What are you doing man?! It's midnight, GO HOME!

Ross: <still looking at the computer screen> Bug off! I'm busy.

Joey: <pointing to Ross> Ok, that defines having NO LIFE! I'm going to bed, good night. <goes into his bedroom>

Chandler: <looks at Ross> So, are you going to spend the night here or something?

Ross: Most likely! Good bye Chandler.

Chandler: Fine, I can take a hint. <goes into his room>

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Sorry, my two friends were just bothering me.

BloomGals: Do you share an apartment?

Paleoguy: Nope, I'm just using my friend's computer. As if I would live with these two pigs!

BloomGals: I share with my best friend.

Paleoguy: That's cool, at least it will be clean.

BloomGals: You got that right, by friend is a neat freak :)

Paleoguy: How long have we been on here?

BloomGals: Hold on, let me check the online clock.

BloomGals: Wow, 4 hours!

Paleoguy: Whoa, I didn't even notice! Do you think it may be time to get off?

BloomGals: I think so, I have to go to work tomorrow.

Paleoguy: Me too. So, do you want to meet in person or something?

[cut to Rachel]

Rachel: <stars at the screen blankly> Wow. Ok what do I do? It might be really lame if I go out on a date with this guy, but on the other hand, I really like him. Oh what the hell. <types something>

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Well...

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <praying> Please say Yes, say YES!

[on computer screen]

BloomGals: Sure. Where and when and all that?

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <throws up his hands in victory> YES!

Chandler: <though his bedroom> What's going on there?

Ross: <ignoring him> This is going to be great.

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Do you know Central Perk the coffeehouse?

BloomGals: Sure do. Say tomorrow at about 8?

Paleoguy: Sounds good. See you then.

BloomGals: Bye

[cut to Rachel]

Rachel: <turning the laptop off> This is to cool. <smiles, puts the laptop on the floor and goes to bed> I HAVE A DATE!!!!

Scene 8: Central Perk ( No one we actually know is there, then Ross enters and takes a seat on a stool. Then Rachel comes in, hangs up her coat and notices Ross)

Rachel: Hi.

Ross: Hi. How are you?

Rachel: Good. <awkward silence> I'm going to get some coffee. <gets some coffee and takes a seat on the couch, looking at her watch and straightening her hair>

Ross: Are you waiting for someone?

Rachel: Yes, you?

Ross: Yep. <looks at his watch>

<15 minutes pass, Rachel starts reading a magazine, and Ross is playing with stir rods at his table>

< Another 15 minutes pass, Ross is sitting on a different stool, and Rachel is filing her nails, not looking pleased>

<Yet, ANOTHER 15 minutes pass, Ross looks at his watch>

Ross: <sighs> Ok, well this just sucks. See ya Rachel. <leaves>

Rachel: Bye. <to herself> I can not believe I got stood up by this guy. <leaves also>

Scene 9: Chandlers Apartment <Ross enters>

Ross: Chandler, I need to write an email.

Chandler: Be my guest, but could you please get your OWN account! You're draining my time. Did you know you spent almost 5 hours on there yesterday?

Ross: <switching on the computer, then typing something> I was busy.

Subject: Where were you?

Where were you tonight? I waited for over 45 minutes! Get back to me please.


Scene 10: Rachel's Bedroom <Rachel comes in, dumps her stuff on the floor, then takes the computer and hooks everything up. She looks out the window in disbelief that she was stood up.>

Rachel: I cannot believe this guy! <Types something> Oh look an email. <Reads><shocked> What?!?!? <Types something>

Subject: Re: Where were you?

Where was I? Where were you? I was there the WHOLE time! Meet you online to discuss!


Rachel: <types something> Ok, he's online, I'm going into the chat room and giving him a piece of my mind! <types>

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Where were you? I can't believe that you stood me up?

BloomGals: Hold on a second, it's more like you stood me up!

Paleoguy: I did not! Look, maybe we didn't see each other or something.

BloomGals: Or maybe you just stood me up!

Paleoguy: I didn't stand you up! Look, we should set up another meeting place. Somewhere that there will not be too many people. It might be easier to see one another then. Fair enough?

BloomGals: Fine, but if you stand me up this time...

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <groans> What is she talking about!? Forget it. I'm not going to fight about it.

[on computer screen]

Paleoguy: Ok, tomorrow, how about Central Perk? After it closes, which is 10, be outside the doors? Then we'll for sure see each other. Is that all right?

BloomGals: Ok, sounds fine. I better get going. I will SEE YOU THEN! Bye!

Paleoguy: Bye.

[cut to Ross]

Ross: <shutting down the computer and sighs> Wow, that was a close one. But, weirdly enough I handled it. <smiles> You are good Ross. I deserve at pat on the back.

Chandler: <shouting> Ok, if I pat you on the back will you stop talking to yourself?
<Ross gives him the LOOK>

Scene 11: Outside Central Perk (It's drawing to be 10 o'clock, there's a medium rain, Rachel, holding an umbrella, slowly looks around the corner to find no one again and takes out her mirror and looks at herself, fixing her hair once again. Ross is humming as he turns the corner and startles Rachel)

Rachel: Ross? What are you doing here?

Ross: I'm meeting someone. What are you doing here?

Rachel: <looks around> Well me too. <looks at her watch> What time were you
supposed to meet this person?

Ross: Ten. You?

Rachel: <slowly> Same here. Can I ask you something?

Ross: Yeah?

Rachel: Have you been using the Internet lately?

Ross: <understanding what she is saying> Yes. <even slower> Have you?

Rachel: <quietly> Yes.

<They both look at each other>

Ross: Did you get stood up yesterday?

Rachel: Yes, and I'm guessing that you did too. <silence> Paleoguy?

Ross: BloomGals?

<they just stand there looking at each other in shock>

Rachel: This is so weird....<sighs> How couldn't I know it was you? I mean I think I could've been able to tell <starts getting upset> usually you are possessive and jealous!

<Ross kisses Rachel on the lips to shut her up, turns into a passionate kiss>

Rachel: <still in the arms of Ross> Maybe...

Scene 12: Joey and Chandler's apartment<Chandler is at the computer online>

Chandler: Time to meet chicks!

<enters a chat room, one person is there>

[on computer screen]

KistheCook: Hey, how are you?

WENISboy: Great! You?

<flash to Monica's apartment>

Monica: WENISboy? What kind of name is that?!


(c) Sandra/Sarah Productions

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