F.R.I.E.N.D.S 2
The One With The Mad Dog

Written By Chandler

Disclaimer: The characters and their stories belong to Bright, Kaufman, and Crane and NBC and Warner Brothers. I mean no infringement and make no profit.

Welcome to Friends 2 this is just an alternate Friends Series for all the people who can’t wait for the new series. Just imagine everything up to the end of series 2. Ross and Rachel are together, Dr Ramory is dead. Monica just broke up with Richard and Joey and Phoebe are well just Joey and Phoebe the only difference in this series is Chandler and Janice are not together. So I’m going to start my series with this episode entitled: The One With The Mad Dog.


[Central Perk]

Everyone except Monica is sitting down

Chandler: So where’s Monica hiding?

Rachel: Oh she’s upstairs crying about Richard

Phoebe: So why is nobody upstairs? .. you know comforting her?

Rachel: Well I tried but she said she just wants to be alone at the moment.

Joey: Well I’m going to go up there and see how she is.

Phoebe: I’ll join you

Joey and Phoebe exit Central Perk

Chandler: So Ross how about hockey tonight?

Ross: No thanks, I’m watching a special on early-cretaceous plant life

Chandler looks at Rachel with an amazed look on his face

Chandler: Okay no need to rub it in.

Rachel laughs

Gunther arrives with 2coffees, he hands one to Rachel and smiles and he hands one to Chandler

Chandler: Thanks Gunther

Rachel: Yeah thanks

Gunther looks really happy and he starts to walk away

Ross: Hey Gunther where’s my coffee?

Gunther: Were all out

He walks away

Ross looks amazed then a group of people arrive into the coffee house

First man in group: Hey do you guy’s sell coffee here

Gunther: Yes all kinds we never run out

Ross still sits there looking confused.

[Opening Credits Play]

The One With The Mad Dog

[Chandlers Bedroom In The Middle Of The Night]

Chandler lies on the bed asleep

A barking sound starts from the alley below

It gets louder and louder until Chandler wakes up jumping up in the air

Chandler: What! What! Joey I didn’t touch your girlfriend I swear

Chandler looks around the room kind of embarassed

He looks out the window down at the dog


Dog continues to bark

Chandler walks out of the bedroom and opens the door to find Rachel and Monica there.

Chandler: Hey!

Rachel and Monica: Hello

Chandler: Hey you guys didn’t happen to hear a noise did you?

Monica and Rachel look at him as if ready to kill him

The barking continues

Monica: Can we please come and stay with you guys tonight

Chandler: You know it’s worse in here, actually…….

He stops when he sees Joey walking out of his bedroom and into the bathroom without noticing anyone

There’s a toilet flush and Joey walks out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom and shuts the door

[Rachel and Monica’s Apartment The Next Morning]

Chandler, Monica and Rachel sit at the kitchen table with a big blanket wrapped around them and their faces pale and their eyes wide open.

Chandler: Please make it stop I’ll do anything really

Chandler: God I promise that if you stop the dog I’ll build several churches in your honor

Monica and Rachel look at him

Rachel: Who owns the dog anyway?

Monica: It’s some guy across the street I’ve seen him with the dog before

The barking stops

Chandler: What it’s over yes yes! thank you God

Rachel: Your not actually gonna build any churches right?

Chandler: Nooahh

The barking starts again and he bangs his head of the table

Joey walks in

Joey: Hey whats goin on here?

Chandler: What? Joe could you not here the dog barking ALL NIGHT LONG!

Joey: No, but we don’t have a dog?

Chandler: You know what…

Joey: You were making the dog noise? That was good man

Chandler: Emmm No not what I was gonna say, how about I go over to this guy and ask him to keep his dog “down”

Monica: Oh please do, thanks Chandler

Chandler exits the apartment

Joey sits down at the table with Monica and Rachel

Joey: So Mon how are you doin after Richard and all

Monica: I’m great, fine never felt better the best!

Rachel: C’mon Mon it’s okay, you’ll get over him he’s just a guy

Monica: He wasn’t just a guy he was he was Richard

Joey: Sorry Mon

Monica goes into her room crying

Joey: Well that’s a touchy subject

Rachel: Really Joe what gave it away

[Hall outside the dog’s owners door]

Chandler knocks on door

A man in a sweaty vest opens the door, he’s smoking a cigarette

Man: Yeah what the hell do you want are you sellin something

Chandler: No sir actually I was wondering if you owned a dog?

Man: Yeah so?

Chandler: Well I was wondering actually just inquiring as to whether you might be able to restrain his barking voice I mean mouth at night-time

Man: Get the hell of my property!

Chandler: Okay sounds like a good idea, bye now

Chandler runs off very quickly

[Central Perk]

Everyone except Monica and Rachel are there

Chandler: So anyway I go over there and this guy comes out wearing this big sweaty vest and smoking one hell of a big cigarette, I mean I thought he was gonna try and kill me, I asked about the dog and he looked at me with daggers in his eyes but I’ll tell you one thing I am so not going back over there again!

Phoebe: Wow you know my friend had that very same problem

Ross: How do you mean Phoebs

Phoebe: Well my friend Jennifer had a neighbor who had this really loud rooster who woke her up every morning and she didn’t know what to do with it as the neighbour wouldn’t do anything

Joey: So what did she do

Phoebe: Well she kidnapped it and then she cooked it for Christmas

Ross, Joey and Chandler look shocked

Chandler: You know Phoebs that’s a little different than my problem, for one thing it’s not near Christmas and I don’t know how to cook “DOG”

Phoebe: Ohh Okay

Joey: You know Ross, Monica is really taking this Richard thing bad, she’s been in her bedroom all day crying, maybe you should go over and see how she is

Ross: Sorry Joe I can’t go at the moment I’m taking Rach out to dinner tonight, why don’t you go over tonight and see how she is

Joey: Sorry I can’t I’ve got a hot date tonight with this model named Cyrstal

Chandler: Hey Ross if you want I’ll go over tonight and see how she is

Ross: Thanks Chandler

Phoebe: I can’t go over because I have to take my Grandmother to the doctors

Ross: Is she sick?

Phoebe: No

Chandler: Okay

[Monica and Rachels Apartment]

Chandler walks in with a bottle of wine the apartment is empty

Chandler: “Mon”

Theres no answer, he walks into Monica’s bedroom to find her lying on the bed just looking at the wall

Chandler: Hey Mon I just wanted to come over and see how you were

Monica: I’m fine Chandler, what’s the wine for?

Chandler: Nothin I just thought you’d like to sit down and talk for a while

Monica: Thanks Chandler that’s so sweet

Chandler sits down on the bed beside her

Monica: So wheres everyone else

Chandler: Well Ross and Rachel are gone out to dinner, Joey’s gone out on a date with some model named “Crystal” and last but not least Phoebe’s taking her Grandmother to the doctor’s for some reason or another

 Monica: And you and me are left at home

Chandler: No, No we can just say that were gone out on a special date together in your apartment

Monica: Yeah well we have wine

Chandler: Yes and I have the glasses, so will I pour you some?

Monica with a smile on her face

Monica: Oh yes please

Chandler smiles and pours the wine into Monica’s glass and then into his

[The Pauper Restaurant]

Joey and his date Crystal are sitting down at a table eating dinner

Joey: So Crystal where about’s do you model

Crystal: Well I’ve been to Milan, London, Paris and I’m in New York    at the moment for a show for the next 2 weeks

Joey: Well that’s great you’ve been all over the world

Crystal: Yeah, you know Joey you’re a great guy

Joey: Well I know

Crystal: Say Joey do you wanna leave dinner a bit early and maybe go back to your place for some what do you call it?

Joey: Well I call it Joey Love

Crystal: Okay lets go

They leave the restaurant

[ Monicas Bedroom A 3 hours Later]

Chandler and Monica are lying on the bed laughing

Chandler: My god you are so drunk

Monica: I am not!

Chandler: Oh you so are

Monica: Oh come on your worse than me

Chandler looks on the floor at 4 empty wine bottles

Chandler: Oh okay I see your point

Monica: Chandler thanks a lot for a great night you’ve really cheered me up

Chandler: Well that’s what I’m here for that and for wine selection

Monica: Yeah you definitely know how to get someone drunk

Chandler: So are you feeling better about Richard

Monica: Yeah actually I haven’t thought about him all night

Chandler: Why?

Monica: Because of you Mr.Bing

Chandler: Well you made me feel better about spending Saturday night at home

They get closer together

Monica: You know your kinda cute when your drunk

They get closer

Now their whispering

Chandler: Yeah

Monica: Yeah

Their just about to kiss when the dog starts barking again and they quickly pull back from each other

Chandler: You know it’s getting kinda late I’d better go

Monica: Yeah phew look at that time, well I’ll see ya

Chandler: Bye

He exits the bedroom and the apartment

Monica just sits there for a minute

Monica: Oh My God!

[Chandler and Joey’s Apartment]

Chandler walks in

Chandler: Oh My God!

A shout comes from Joeys bedroom


Chandler: Yeah why?

Joey: Can I talk to you in your room for a minute

Chandler: Okay

Chandler walks into his room and Joey comes in after him

Joey: Hey man I was wondering, could you please! Stop that dog from barking

Chandler: How exactly do you think I can do that?

Joey: I don’t know think of something please or Crystal is going to leave

Chandler: Joey I can’t do anything I tried already remember I told you about the crazy guy with the cigarette

Joey: Okay thanks man

Chandler sits down on his bed and rubs his hands through his hair an lies back down asleep

It’s 3 o’clock in the morning the barking wakes Chandler up he gets out of bed and opens the window

Chandler: Shut up you dam mutt

The barking continues

Chandler: Oh come on gimme a break

The barking gets louder

Chandler: All right that’s it

He picks up shoe and throws at the dog in the alley it hits the dog

Dog: Yeeeelp

Chandler: Oh no!

The dog doesn’t move, Chandler looks around to see if anyone saw him and then closes the window

Chandler: Chandler Bing 1 Mad Dog Zero

He claps his hands together and goes back to bed

[Closing Credits]

[Chandlers Bedroom]

Chandler wakes up in the middle of the night to answer a knock at the door, he goes out of the bedroom and opens the door, Monica is standing there

Chandler: Monica what are you doing her…….

Monica: No time for talking

She grabs him and they have a long passionate kiss

Monica: I love you Chandler Bing

Chandler: I love you too

Chandler wakes up to find himself hugging a pillow, he looks around the room shocked

[Monica’s Bedroom]

Monica has the same dream and finds herself waking up hugging a pillow

Monica: Ewwwww

The End of Episode1
Copyright ??David McKeown Scripts 1999

Jennifer Aniston Courtney Cox Lisa Kudrow
Matthew Perry Matt Le Blanc David Schwimmer

Man: John Goodman
Crystal: Cameron Diaz
James Michael Tyler: Gunther