Written by: Sally Zahnle
This is my second fanfic. An author cannot live without feed back. My address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Again, I favor Monica and Chandler a little. :)
Scene one-Airport. Monica and Chandler are standing by the terminal. Monica is wearing a long sleeved maroon dress that ends right above her knees. Chandler is wairing one of his work outfits minus a tie. People are walking out and Monica is searching for her parents, while Chandler is looking for his mom.
MONICA: (Still looking around and wringing her hands together) Oh, where are they?
CHANDLER: (Still looking around) You think your nervous? I haven't seen my mom in over a year.
MONICA: Oh! There they are! (Starts waving) Mom! Dad! (To Chandler) Now don't forget. They don't know yet.
Monica's parents come up to them. Everyone but Chandler starts hugging.
MRS. GELLER: Where's Ross. (Points at Chandler) What's he doing here.
MONICA: Ross couldn't come, so Chandler came with me.
MRS. GELLER: Whatever. Let's go get our luggage and get to your apartment.
CHANDLER: You guys go ahead. I have to wait for my mom.
MONICA: Okay, we'll be back in a minute
All but Chandler walk away. Chandler sits in one of the chairs. Chandler's mom walks out of the terminal. Chandler doesn't notice her. She walks past him, turns around and puts her hands over his eyes.
MRS. BING: (In a deep voice) Guess who.
CHANDLER: Uh, Superman?
Chandler's mom takes her hands off his eyes. He gets up and turns around to face her.
CHANDLER: (Hugs her) Hey, Mom.
MRS. BING: Hey there. (Holds him at arms length) Where's Monica?
CHANDLER: She went with Mr. and Mrs. Geller to get their luggage. They don't know yet, so don't tell them.
MRS. BING: No problem. Let's go get my stuff.
Chandler and his mom walk away.
Sceen two-Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch reading a magazine. She is wearing a white blouse, a short black skirt, and black and white designed knee socks. A pair of black high heels are on the floor by the couch. Monica, Chandler, and all the parents enter. Monica's dad is carrying a large brown suitcase, Monica and Chandler are carrying two identical large brown duffle bag, Chandler's mom is carrying a suitcase. Monica's mom is carrying a purse and a small hand bag.
MONICA: Hey, Rach.
Everyone puts their stuff down.
RACHEL: (Gets up, goes over to Monica's parents, and hugs Mrs. Geller first and then Mr. Geller) Oh, hi, how are you? (Hugs Chandler's mom) Hey Mrs. Bing.
MRS. BING: Hey. Phoebe, right? How are those babies?
RACHEL: I'm Rachel. (sounds agravated)
MRS. BING: Oh of course. I'm so sorry Rachel.
RACHEL: (Through clenched teeth) Oh, no problem.
MONICA: Rachel, help me with these bags will ya?
RACHEL: (Still through clenched teeth) Sure Mon.
Rachel and Monica both grab one of Mrs. Geller's many bags and go into Monica's room. Cut to Monica's room.
RACHEL: (Puts her stuff down by the bed) I can't believe she thought I was Pheobe! Now there is no way she is sleeping in my bed.
MONICA: Rachel! She has to. If she doesn't, she'll leave. If she leaves, Chandler will get angry. If Chandler gets angry, we might have a fight. If we have a fight, the wedding will be ruined and I will be humiliated by my parents in front of everyone.
RACHEL: Okay fine, she can sleep in my room. But don't ever lecture me like that again.
Scene three-Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Chandler are
on the couch kissing. The clock on the wall reads 11:46. Monica and Chandler are still
wairing their clothes from earlier. Monica's bedroom door opens and her mom quietly
tiptoes out. She gives a small shriek when she
sees Monica and Chandler.
MRS. GELLER: (Grabbs her purse off the chair and starts hitting Chandler with it) Get away from my daughter you pervert!
MONICA: Mom! Stop it! (Grabs the purse from her mom and stands between her and Chandler)
MRS. GELLER: Young lady, what is going on.
MONICA: I will explain in the morning. Now go back to bed.
MRS. GELLER: (Huffs a little) Fine. But in the morning you better be ready to tell me. (Turns around, goes back into Monica's bedroom, and closes the door behind her)
MONICA: (Puts the purse on the couch and turns to Chandler, who has his hands over his left eye) Are you okay?
CHANDLER: Just peachy.
MONICA: Is your eye okay? Let me see.
CHANDLER: (Sort of turns away) No. It's fine. Really.
MONICA: Okay. Why don't you go to bed now?
CHANDLER: Yeah, okay. Goodnight. (Kisses Monica)
Chandler leaves to his apartment. Monica pulls a blanket out from
under the couch, lays down, and covers up. Cut to Monica and Rachel's apartment. It
is now morning and Monica is asleep on the couch, covered up with the blanket.
Chandler walks through the apartment door. He has his a
piece of gauze taped over his left eye. He walks over to the couch.
CHANDLER: (Gently shakes Monica) Monica? Wake up sweety.
Monica groans and stretches.
MONICA: Hey. I thought you said your eye was okay. Lemme see.
CHANDLER: No. It's fine.
MONICA: No it's not. Lemme see. (She reaches up and rips the gauze and tape off. Chandler puts his hand over his eye and yelps)
MONICA: Oh, I'm sorry. Come here.
CHANDLER: Fine. (Sits down on the couch next to Monica) Don't laugh okay?
Chandler takes his hand and reveils a black eye. Monica puts both of her hands over her mouth.
MONICA: Oh my god! Did she really hit you that hard.
CHANDLER Yeah. And it hurt.
MONICA: Oh you poor thing. Let me get you some ice. (She gets up and heads over to the kitchen)
Monica gets a ziplock bag out of a drawer, walks to the freezer, and
puts some ice in the bag. She walks over and gives the bag to Chandler, who promply puts
it over his eye. Rachel walks through the front door in a plaid, fleece night gown.
Her hair is really messy and she looks like she
didn't get any sleep.
CHANDLER: (Takes the ice pack off of his eye) You look like hell.
RACHEL: Look in a mirror.
CHANDLER: It's not my fault Mrs. Geller came out of the bedroom, caught us kissing, and beat me with her purse.
MONICA: Rach, did you get any sleep at all last night?
RACHEL: (Points at Chandler, who has put the ice pack back on his eye) He snores really loud.
CHANDLER: I had to sleep on my back because of my eye!
RACHEL: It wasn't all your fault. Joey came in my room in the middle of the night and climbed into bed with me. I tried to wake him up by pushing him out of bed, but he didn't wake up. He just laid there on his back and snored louder than ever.
MONICA: Go get dressed and I'll make both of you soup.
RACHEL: Isn't Mrs. Bing still in there?
MONICA: No. She left around 6 o'clock. She kinda fell over the foot stool and made a loud thump that woke me up.
RACHEL: Whatever. (Walks into her room and shuts the door)
CHANDLER: So what are you going to tell your mom?
MONICA: I'm going to start by making her apologize for giving you a black eye. Then I am going to tell her we are engaged.
CHANDLER: Do you think she'll flip out?
MONICA: Probably. She thinks your gay, remember?
CHANDLER: How could I forget. She set me up with a man she worked with.
MONICA: Yeah. That was pretty awful.
CHANDLER: Tell me about it.
MONICA: Well you are really sweet while most men are slobbering pigs.
They start to kiss, but Mrs. Geller comes out of Monica's bedroom and they pull away quickly.
MONICA: Hey mom. Sleep well?
MRS. GELLER: Start talking.
MONICA: Oh yeah. Well, Chandler and I have some good news.
MRS. GELLER: How could any news involving him be good.
MRS. GELLER: Sorry. (Not sounding sorry at all)
MONICA: (Getting angry) Okay. If you don't want to be happy for me then you don't deserve to be involved with our wedding.
MRS. GELLER: Your marrying him! (To Chandler) I thought you were gay!
CHANDLER: A common mistake. Listen, (Gets up with the ice pack still over his eye) Monica and I are in love. We are getting married. I'm sorry if I don't meet your idea of a perfect man, but I don't care. Live with it. Oh, and by the way, don't hit people with your purse. (Takes the ice pack off) It hurts worse than it looks.
MRS. GELLER: (Surprised) Did I do that?! I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have hit you if Monica had told me you were getting married.
MONICA: Don't blame me for what you did. The only way it wouldn't have happened was if your purse wasn't sitting on the chair next to the bedroom door and you know it.
MRS. GELLER: (Clearly taken aback) Well I never! (Studders a little and walks back into Monica's bedroom)
CHANDLER: Wow. You really told her off.
MONICA: No one gives my fiance a black eye and gets away with it.
CHANDLER: Thats why I love you. Not only are you sweet, kind, and beautiful, but you always win.
MONICA: I love you too. (She kisses him)
CHANDLER: I better leave (They kiss again) Joey probably doesn't know where he is so I have to be there to console him.
MONICA: (Laughs) I wonder if he knows he climbed into bed with Rachel.
CHANDLER: Hey. Where is Rachel? I thought she would have come out when she heard us arguing with your mom.
Monica walks over to Rachel's bedroom door and opens it. Rachel is on the bed asleep.
MONICA: I guess that answers that question.
Scene four-Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch with Monica on his lap and the ice pack still on his eye. Phoebe is sitting next to them. Rachel is sitting next to Phoebe with Joey on the arm of the couch next to her. He has an ice pack over his eye also. Ross is sitting in the chair on the left.
CHANDLER: We have finally decided where the honeymoon is going to be.
RACHEL: Really? Where?
PHOEBE: Can you really afford that? It costs, like, a million dollars to stay there for 3 days.
MONICA: We aren't paying.
ROSS: Your just going to sneak onto a plane, steal a hotel room, and not get caught?
CHANDLER: Even better. I have to go there for some work thing. They heard I was getting married and said they would get me the honeymoon suite so I could bring Monica with.
RACHEl: Wow, thats great. Is your eye going to be better by the wedding?
PHOEBE: (To Joey) What about yours?
JOEY: I don't really know? (Takes the ice pack off his revealing a black eye) Does anyone know how I got this thing?
Everyone gets guilty looks.