Friends
By BSW
The One With Success
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey and Ross are eating breakfast or drinking coffee)
Phoebe - Wow. That’s really big!
Joey - Yeah.
Chandler - I don’t know whether she wanted us to tell you or not, so don’t say anything to her.
Monica - Yeah. Just pretend you don’t know.
Ross - How long did you both know?
Chandler - She told me as soon as she found out.
Monica - I’ve only known a couple of weeks.
Ross - And yet, neither of you told me!
Monica - We couldn’t. She made us promise not to.
Joey - Anyway, I’m gonna go to the Park today. There’s a really hot chick I think I might be able to pull that goes there everyday.
Ross - Do you want a drink?
Rachel - No. I’ve got to go to work now. By the way, Joey, good luck.
Joey - Thanks.
Chandler - So, what does Emily think of all this?
Ross - Who’s Emily?
Chandler - The woman you’ve been going on about all the time!
Ross - Oh my God! I totally forgot.
Joey - See? I told you it wasn’t just me who forgets who he’s going out with!
Credits
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Ross and Chandler)
Ross - I can’t believe that this is happening again. I find someone I like, then something happens with Rach, and all hell breaks loose!
Chandler - So what if she’s pregnant? It doesn’t disturb what you’ve got going with Emily!
Ross - Well….
Chandler - Unless you don’t just mean the baby!
Ross - Of course I do!
Chandler - Carol being pregnant didn’t stop you going nuts over Rachel.
Ross - That was different. Carol had Susan to look after her. Rachel doesn’t have anyone like that!
Chandler - Are you saying you wish Rachel was a lesbian?
Ross - No. It’s just that Rachel doesn’t have anyone other than me to turn to for support.
Chandler - Oh yes, just a best friend who lives in the same apartment, a couple of guys that would do anything to help her across the corridor, another best friend who she sees everyday and even the people she works with! I see what you mean. Apart from you, she has no-one!
Ross - OK, so maybe she does….but….
Chandler - You still have feelings for her, don’t you?
Ross - I don’t know.
Chandler - Yes, you do!
Ross - I don’t know……..it’s so hard, you know?
Chandler - Actually….I do!
Scene - Museum Display
(Ross, who’s talking to a fellow worker)
Rachel - Hi, Ross.
Ross - Oh! Hi, Rach!< to co-worker>OK, so you’ll correct the display by two, OK?
Co-worker - Sure, Dr. Geller!
Rachel - Dr. Geller, can we talk?
Ross - Sure, it’s about time for lunch. What did you want to talk about?
Rachel - I think you know, Dr. Geller.
Ross - We’ll talk as long as you promise to stop calling me that name. It’s not really what you’d call someone who you’ve shared showers with.
Rachel - I don’t know. Dr. Geller suits you when you’re wearing that jacket.
Ross -
Rachel - OK, Geller.
Ross - OK, you’ve gotta stop calling me that, too.
Scene - Café in New York
(Ross and Rachel)
Ross - Wasn’t that great?
Rachel - Not really. We’ve been her for half an hour. I only have 15 minutes left and we still haven’t come on to the subject I want to talk to you about.
Ross - I’m sorry. It’s just that we haven’t had time like this for….months. Just you and me….talking, you know?
Rachel - I know. But…..
Ross - OK. The baby.
Rachel - Yes. I’m sorry you found out like that. I had it all planned. You were gonna find out tomorrow night.
Ross - Have you….Do your parents know yet?
Rachel - No. Yours?
Ross - Heck, no.
Rachel - This is gonna be hard, isn’t it.
Ross - Yes. I haven’t told Emily yet.
Rachel - You really like her, don’t you?
Ross - I don’t know. Right now, though, it’s you and our child that are most important. I’ll help you whenever I can and I’ll always be there for both of you.
Rachel - Ross…..We need to talk about this, you see…….
Ross - Oh, damn. I gotta get back. Can we continue this later?
Rachel - I guess.< they both stand up>
Ross - Thank you.
Rachel - You see, I don’t want you involved too much……
Scene - Phoebe’s House
(Phoebe and her guinea-pig)
Phoebe - Dream-Hope-Tigerlilly, it’s time for our favourite program!
Presenter - Have you got a pet?
Phoebe - yes!
Presenter - Would you like to earn some extra money?
Phoebe - Yes!
Presenter - Then call 555-9112 now! Find out how you can make your pet into a star!
Phoebe - OK!
Phoebe - 555-9112……….Hello?……..Yes, I have a guinea-pig……..Dream-Hope-Tigerlilly…Yes, DHT is fine……That’ll be OK…..9am………5th Avenue…..OK, Thanks!…Bye!
Phoebe - Wasn’t that exciting!
Presenter - All on your own?
Phoebe - Yes!
Presenter - No date this evening?
Phoebe - Yes!
Presenter - Why not go on dates and be paid for it? Call the Supreme Escort Agency on…..
Commercial Break
Scene - Central Park
(Joey and a girl)
Joey - So I go up to her and say ‘How you doing?’!
Girl - You’re so funny…..What did you say your name was?
Joey - Joey Tribbiani. But you can call me by my stage name, Holden McGroin.
Girl - So, you’re an actor. My name’s Karen.
Joey - What do you do?
Karen - I’m a waitress.
Joey - Isn’t that a crime?
Karen - What? To wait tables?
Joey - No, to be so pretty and not be a model!
Karen - Actually, I’m a topless waitress.
Joey - Cool. So, you doing anything tonight?
Karen - No.
Joey - How about you come out with me? I’ll pick you up at 8.
Karen - Here’s my address. Bye!
Joey - Cool.
Joey - Hey, how you doing???
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Rachel, who’s sat in the kitchen, eating ice-cream)
Monica - Hey, Rach….
Rachel - Oh, no. Work was fine. It’s just me and that idiotic brother of yours.
Monica - What’s happened now?
Rachel - He thinks that ‘cause I pregnant, we’re gonna get back together.
Monica -
Rachel - It’s not funny.
Monica - Well, I don’t see the problem.
Rachel - I don’t want to be with him!
Monica - OK, fair enough. But there’s no problem. He’s with Emily. He won’t dump her on a whim that he’s got you.
Rachel - Honey, this is Ross we’re talking about.
Monica - He wouldn’t do that. Trust me.
Rachel - OK.
Chandler - Guess who’s got dates for every evening in the next two weeks?
Monica - I’m pretty safe guessing not you.
Joey - Correct! It’s me!
Rachel - Congratulations, Joey! What’s she like?
Joey - Well, tonight there’s Karen, then tomorrow it’s Joanne, the after that it’s Louise…..
Monica - You mean there’s different girls for every night?
Joey - Ya-huh!
Monica - That’s gross!
Joey - No. If I was to go out with them all in one day, that’d be bad. But, this way, no-one knows that they’re not gonna be an item with me.
Rachel - I hate guys!
Chandler - Hey! We’re not all like that! I haven’t had a date in months!
Rachel - OK….makes you sadder….never tell us that sort of thing!
Phoebe - Hey guys! Wanna hear my new song?
Monica - Yes. Please!
Phoebe - OK? Now I can’t do it!
Chandler - Why not?
Phoebe - ‘Cause now there’s too much pressure!
Chandler - OK. Sorry I asked!
Phoebe - That’s all right. It was Monica’ s fault!
Monica - Hey!
Rachel - Calm down, will you? You’re all so noisy!
Joey - What’s eating her?
Monica - He’s about so tall (gestures with her hand) and wears a lot of gel!
Chandler - What’s he done now?
Monica - She’s worried he’s gonna break up with Emily for her.
Phoebe - Wow, Monica. You’re physic too!
Monica - No….we were just talking about it!
Phoebe - Of course. That was gonna be my next explanation!
Chandler - Anyone wanna get some coffee?
Monica - Like you wouldn’t believe!
Ross - Hey, guys!
Joey - Oh-oh. I know that hey.
Chandler - What’s up, man?
Ross - I just broke up with Emily.
Monica - I’m sorry.
Ross - No, it’s for the best. Is Rach in?
Phoebe - Yeah, she’s in her room.
Ross - Guess what?
Rachel - What?
Ross - I broke up with Emily.
Rachel - Oh. Why are you telling me this?
Ross - ‘Cause……I just wanted you to know.
Rachel - Well, I’m sorry for you.
Ross - That’s all right.
Chandler - guys? We were just about to get some coffee. You wanna come?
Rachel - Yup.
Ross - You know, you shouldn’t really be drinking caffeine when you’re pregnant.
Rachel - Shouldn’t I?
Ross - …..But if you want to…then…..
Scene - Corridor
{Later that evening}
(Chandler and Monica)
Chandler - So…..have you thought anymore about that thing that you were gonna think about?
Monica - Yes.
Chandler - And?
Monica - And…I don’t know. You’re like a brother to me. Yes, there’s chemistry, but….
Chandler - OK. If there’s chemistry and you feel like my sister, then what the hell do you do with Ross?
Monica - That’s what I love about you. Your sense of humor. But…you can’t talk seriously to me.
Chandler - Now that’s only partially true.
Monica - No, Chandler. It’s a fact.
Chandler - You’re saying that you’ll only give us a chance if I suddenly act all serious with you?
Monica - Yes….no…..I don’t know.
Chandler - You realize you’re driving me crazy, don’t you.
Monica - How?
Chandler - You’re this smart, sexy, beautiful woman. You like me. You know me and you still like me! But, you and I aren’t together.
Monica - It’s not a case of whether I have feelings for you. It’s whether they’re stronger than my feelings for Pete.
Chandler - So I’m competing with a billionaire, am I?
Monica - No. You’re competing with Pete. My boyfriend. Goodnight, Chandler.
Chandler - Night.
Credits
Teaser
Scene - Ross’ Bedroom
(Ross, who’s asleep)
Cut to Rachel’s Bedroom
(She’s also asleep)
Cut to Joey’s Bedroom
(He’s asleep)
Joey - (In his sleep) Hey, Candii, How you doing???
The End
Comments? Questions? Opinions?
Write to me at Rachel4Ross@btinternet.com