Friends
A Script by BSW
Authors Note: I know that to many of you, this will already have been done, but I think that this episode brings up a lot of valid points in favor of Ross and Rachel breaking up. Please bear with me, as there will be a twist in the tale in future episodes.
The One With Territory
Scene - Monica’s Apartment
(Chandler, Monica, Phoebe and Joey)
Chandler - Don’t you think you should go in there, Mon? It’s been three hours since she came here.
Monica - I know.
Joey - Do you want me to phone Ross?
Phoebe - But she said not to tell him she was here!
Chandler - Do it.
(Monica walks over and presses the button.)
Voice of Ross - Hey, Mon! I was wondering if you’d seen Rachel?
Monica - You’d better come up.
V.O.R. - OK. Be there in a sec.
Joey - So, I got a date tonight with that really hot chick from the supermarket…
Chandler - Why don’t we go to our place and you can tell us all about it? Phoebe, you come too.
Phoebe - OK. Good luck, Monica!
Ross - So? Have you seen her?
Monica - She’s here.
Credits
Scene - Monica’s Apartment
{Continued from earlier}
(Monica and Ross)
Monica - She came here about three hours ago. Straight into the room, without speaking to us. The only words that she’s said are not to tell you that she’s here. Have you two had another argument?
Ross - Not that I know of.
Monica - She hasn’t answered us and we’ve been trying since she got here.
Ross - Rachel? Can you hear me?
Monica - Sweety, you look terrible.
Rachel - Thanks.
Ross - What’s happened?
Rachel - I think you know. I’ll be going to your place now to get changed. I’ll move out as soon as possible.
Ross - What??? Why????
Rachel - I saw you with her, Ross.
Ross - With who?
Rachel - How could you?
Ross - How could I do what? You’re not making sense!
Monica - What have you done now?
Ross - I honestly don’t know.
Monica - You’ve done something. What is it with you, Ross? Why do you keep having to hurt her?
Ross - Monica, I don’t know what she’s talking about! Do me a favor though, try and find out what I’m meant to have done, will you?
Monica - I’ll try, but I don’t really think you ought to stay here. Go next door, then when Rachel comes back here, go home. I’ll talk to her before she takes the rest of her things out of your place.
Ross - Thanks. Why does everything go wrong for me?
Monica - The whole lesbian thing is way out there, but you’ve been at fault for your other romantic disasters.
Ross - Thanks for cheering me up!
Monica - Any time, big brother of mine.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Chandler, Phoebe and Joey)
Phoebe - Are you sure he’s gone?
Joey - Relax. Uncle Franco left this morning. He’s going to Las Vegas with some girl called Penny. He met her last night at a strip joint.
Chandler - Cool.
Joey - I know! He’s like the coolest Uncle ever! I was trying to find your naughty magazines yesterday afternoon, and he suggested that I looked under your mattress! Isn’t he like, the greatest?
Chandler - Woah. You went looking in my room?
Joey - Yeah.
Chandler - Who gave you permission?
Joey - Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you’d turned into my Mother.
Phoebe - Stop fighting, you two! I want to know what’s going on!
Ross - Thanks.
Joey - So, why is she crying?
Ross - She’s moving out.
Chandler/Phoebe - What? Why?
Ross - I don’t know. I’ve done nothing, she just said that she saw me with her. I don’t know what she means. Oh, God. What if this is really it? What if she really breaks up with me?
Chandler - OK. That’s worse case scenario. Forget it. It’s not gonna happen. Phoebe, check the freezer for ice-cream.
Phoebe - Full or low fat?
Chandler - Low. It’s not that serious yet.
Joey - What are you doing?
Chandler - I learnt this from Monica and Rachel when all the Janice stuff was happening.
Phoebe - One tub of Low-fat Chocolate ice-cream. One spoon.
Ross - Yuck! This is disgusting!!! What make is it?
Joey - Mocolice.
Chandler - What???
Joey - It’s left over from Monica’s job at that Mocolate place.
Phoebe - Oh yeah! That company that killed all those rats when testing it out!
Ross - Thanks, but I think I’ll leave the ice-cream. What can I do?
Phoebe - Do you want me to spy? I’ll go over to Monica’s when Rachel’s back and I’ll get the story off her. Ooh. This is going to be sooo much fun. The name’s Bond. Phoebe Bond. License to marry.
Joey - What?
Phoebe - I’m a priest of the Holy Brown Earthworm Trinity Church. I can perform marriages.
Ross - Thanks, Pheebs. That would be great! If you were to spy, that is.
Phoebe - Yay. I’m going over to Monica’s.
Ross - Oh, no.
Chandler - What?
Ross - I think I may just have realized what Rachel saw…..
Scene - Monica’s Apartment
{Later on}
(Monica, Rachel and Phoebe)
Monica - OK, honey. What happened?
Rachel - I saw him with a girl.
Phoebe - That can’t be right! He’s like totally in love with you. He’s at the guys’ place right now, worrying himself to death over this.
Rachel - I saw him hugging her.
Monica - Did you recognize who it was?
Rachel - Bonnie.
Monica - Oh my God!
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Ross, Chandler and Joey)
Ross - …It was Bonnie.
Commercial Break
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
{Continued from earlier}
Rachel - I looked out of the window….and there they were hugging. It was right outside the apartment, Mon. How could he do this to me? One minute, he’s telling me how much he loves me, the next he’s doing God knows what with his ex-girlfriend! How am I meant to live with him after this?
Monica - I am so sorry, Rachel.
Phoebe - Yeah. Ross sucks. He deserves to come back as a flea on a dog’s ass. No, wait. A molecular structure of unknown intelligence on a flea’s ass on a dog’s butt.
Rachel - Thank you.
Ross - I think we need to talk.
Rachel - No, Ross. We don’t. I saw you with Bonnie. I thought you cared. I was wrong.
Monica - Rachel, do you want us to go whilst you two talk?
Ross - Yes.
Rachel - No. Stay. Wait a minute. Go and get Chandler and Joey. I want them to hear Ross try and explain his way out of this one. You all missed our last big breakup.
Ross - Do you mean it’s over?
Joey - I’m sorry - we heard you through the door.
Ross - Listen to me for a moment. Yes, you saw me hugging Bonnie. But, we didn’t kiss or anything.
Rachel - How could you Ross? After begging me to marry you, you get back with your old girlfriend. Don’t I mean anything to you?
Ross - It wasn’t like that. Bonnie came to see me because her Mom’s just died.
Rachel - Yeah, right.
Ross - It’s true. She hasn’t had any other boyfriends since me, and her Mom was her only relative left. So, she came to me. I was hugging her in comfort, not in love.
Rachel - I can’t believe you’re so stupid. Do you think I’m going to believe you?
Phoebe - Actually, Rachel, he’s telling the truth. Bonnie’s Mom has just died.
Ross - See? Now, come home with me and we can talk some more about this in private.
Rachel - No, Ross.
Ross - What?
Rachel - I said no. If nothing else, hasn’t today shown you that I can’t trust you?
Ross - No. Anyway, I still love you. Please come home with me.
Rachel - I can’t Ross. I love you, too. But I can’t trust you. All the trust I can give to you vanished on that afternoon that Gunther told me you’d slept with Chloe.
Monica - I think we’d better go now. You two need to be together.
Rachel - Sure. You can go.
Ross - I am so sorry about all that. It was a long time ago. Why can’t you just let it drop?
Rachel - I can’t, Ross. That’s another reason we shouldn’t be together. Every time we fight, I know I’ll bring that back up. It’s just not going to work out. It’s….
Ross - No. Don’t finish that sentence.
Scene - Central Perk
(Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe)
Monica - What if this is really it?
Chandler - It won’t be. You know those two, they’re off and on more than Kate Moss and Johnny Depp.
Phoebe - I hope you’re right. Did you hear Rachel tell us that we could watch this breakup because we’d missed the last one?
Monica - Yeah. I know. I never told her that we were trapped in my room.
Joey - I really mean to ask you this, Monica. Where do you get that lovely waxy stuff
we ate that time?
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
{Continued from earlier}
(Ross and Rachel)
Rachel - Ross! No! Stop it!
Ross - What?
Rachel - Kissing me won’t make up for the fact that we’re not meant to be together.
Ross - But we are. Why can’t you see that?
Rachel - I was hoping that we’d just break up, because that’s the easiest way, but I’m going to have to say it.
Ross - No, don’t Rachel. Please?
Rachel - It’s over Ross. We’re finished.
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
{Later on}
(Ross) (He’s sat on the sofa, staring at Rachel’s door. Although he’s not crying, we can tell he has been)
Monica - Ross? We figured that you two would be back in your apartment now.
Chandler - Hey, Buddy? Are you OK?
Ross - She broke up with me.
Joey - What?
Ross - She says it’s over. She says she can’t trust me anymore.
Chandler - She doesn’t mean it.
Ross - Yes, she does. But it’s not gonna end this way. I’m not leaving until
she agrees to come back home with me.
Monica - Go on, go home now, Ross. Maybe the two of you can talk again tomorrow about all of this?
Ross - No. I’m not going.
Rachel - Ross, go home. It’s over. We can’t be together. Please, leave me alone.
Ross - No. Don’t say that. I love you Rachel.
Chandler - Ross? Come on, we’ll take you home now.
Joey - Yeah, it’s been a hard day. You’ll feel better in the morning.
Ross -
Monica - I’ve never seen him like that. Are you OK?
Rachel - Physically, yeah. But…..
Monica - Your bed’s not here. Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight? I’ll take the sofa.
Rachel - Thanks. I guess it’s just as well you didn’t find another room mate.
Monica - I guess so. Night.
Rachel - Good night.
Credits
Teaser
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Chandler and Joey)
Chandler - Joey? Have you seen my Journal anywhere?
Joey - Your chest of drawers, 2nd drawer down.
Chandler - How do you know that?
Joey - I found it the other day when I was looking for your wallet.
Chandler - At least you didn’t find the key.
Joey - Ummm. Your wardrobe, shoe box from your Nikes, behind the photo frame of your make believe girlfriend you had when you were fifteen.
Chandler - Do you understand the word privacy? No, wait a minute, that’s three syllables.
Joey - What has this got to do with musical instruments?
Chandler - I hate sharing an apartment with you.
Joey - then you won’t want to know what else I found in your room?
Chandler - What?
Joey - All I’ll say is that they are way too old to be effective!
The End
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