Friends
A Script By BSW
The One With Alcohol
Scene - Central Perk
(Ross and Rachel)
Rachel - I’ll get settled in, then we can get started on painting the bedroom.
Ross - Uh yes, about the color, do we have to have pink?
Rachel - What do you want?
Ross - I don’t know, how about something more cream?
Rachel - Honey, your room’s already cream.
Ross - Well, what do you know? I guess that’s saved us having to paint it then!
Rachel - Honey, are you trying to tell me you don’t want to paint your room?
Ross - Mmmmm….
Rachel - ‘Cause if you were, I’d get upset.
Ross - Can’t we paint it a color other than pink?
Rachel - No.
Ross - OK.
Gunther - So she likes pink. If she was with me, I’d have a pink room.
Credits
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Ross, Monica and Phoebe)
Monica - Get out of here Ross! I mean it!
Ross - I’m just waiting for her to come back from work.
Phoebe - But then, you’ve gotta go!
Ross - OK! What are you guys doing tonight, anyway?
Monica - None of your business!
Rachel - OK. I have Vodka, Tequila, Martini, Gin, Cider and Red wine.
Ross - Oh no. You’re not all gonna get drunk again, are you?
Monica - So what if we are? It’s better than ‘just seeing what happens’!
Ross - Chandler told you?
Phoebe - Yup.
Rachel - Ross, go home. This is my last night here. I’m going to enjoy myself. I’ll see you in the morning.
Ross - I bet you’ll be seeing more than one of me!
Rachel - Quite possibly. Now go!
Ross - OK, OK!
Monica - Have you guys actually spent a night apart since the beach house?
Rachel - Yeah. Twice.
Rachel - Good. He’s gone. I also went shopping this afternoon. What do you think
about this?
Monica - Wow.
Rachel - Well, you know. I just want to make sure that there is no more Julie or Carol left in that apartment.
Phoebe - Yeah! You have it too. I can’t get rid of my Grandma’s boyfriend.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(Chandler, Joey and Ross)
Ross - I can’t believe how boring they’re being! It’s practically our last nights of freedom and Rachel decides all she wants to do is drink!
Chandler - OK. I confirmed the reservation at Gillian’s. We’d better go now, or we’ll be late.
Joey - Hey, Ross. Do you think that the three of them might get a little drunk tonight and start kissing each other before….
Ross -
Chandler -
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Rachel, Monica and Phoebe)
Rachel - OK. We’re gonna watch ‘ER’. Every time we see Benton operating, we take a Tequila. Every time Ross kisses Hathaway, take a Gin. Every time Weaver moans, take a Viniti!
Monica - What’s a Viniti?
Rachel - I made it up especially for tonight. It’s a lot of vodka mixed with some Martini.
Phoebe - Cool.
{Time lapse}
(There are about 10 empty glasses in front of each of them)
Phoebe - Oh, no! It’s the first break!
{Time Lapse}
(There are now lots and lots of empty glasses and bottles of beer all around the room.)
Rachel - OK. Now for truth or dare!
Monica - That is sssssoooooooooo ima-ima-ima. Let’s do it!
Phoebe - Me fiiiiiiiiiiirst!
Rachel - OK. Truth or dare?
Phoebe - Tr-tr-tr-tr. The one that’s not dare!
Rachel - OK. Monica?
Monica - Pheebs, have you ever kissed Joey?
Phoebe - Oh, yeah! He’s like the best ever! (They all giggle)
Monica - Now you , Rachel.
Rachel -Truth.
Phoebe - Something about Ross, I think!
Monica - Have you ever faked the wave?
Rachel - No. I can troofly stay thaaaat I have never faked with Rosssssssssssshhhhhhhh.
Monica - My turn! Troofff!
Rachel - Do you fancy anyone right now?
Monica - Yes.
Phoebe - Who?
Monica - I’m not gonna say anything other than ‘Bong’.
Scene - Posh Restaurant
(Ross, Chandler and Joey)
Joey - I cannot believe that you two are actually gonna live together!
Chandler - Yeah, it’s gonna be strange not having Rach around.
Ross - It won’t be like that!
Joey - Right. What do you imagine will happen?
Ross - I don’t know. I guess I never thought further than those first few days, with us Christening every room.
Chandler - You lived there with Carol first. You and Rachel can only change the names by deed poll.
Ross - I suppose. Tomorrow is gonna be so great. I just wish that Mom and Dad weren’t so mad at me!
Joey - Haven’t they calmed down at all?
Ross - No. I think they think that Rachel and I have never slept together. They think that the only woman I’ve spent the night with is Carol. Then again, they think that we only slept together after we got married.
Chandler - You mean you didn’t?
Ross - Hell, no!
Joey - So when did you….
Ross - The second date.
Chandler - I will never be able to look at you in the same way.
Joey - So, on a scale of ten, how would you rate Rachel?
Ross - That is so immature, I’m not gonna answer!
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Phoebe, Rachel and Monica)
Phoebe - So, on a scale of ten, how would you rate Ross?
Rachel - Oh, nine and a half.
Monica - What? Not a perfect score.
Rachel - No. That would have to be Carl.
Phoebe - Who’s Carl?
Monica - Yeah?
Rachel - He works with Ross at the museum. After Ross and I broke up, we had a one night stand. I thought I’d told you both.
Monica - No you didn’t. Does Ross know?
Rachel - Well, no. Carl and I decided it would be best for him not to know.
Phoebe - I can’t believe you!
Rachel - Don’t tell Ross. He’ll be upset.
Commercial Break
Scene - Restaurant.
(Ross, Chandler and Joey)
Ross - Don’t tell her though, she’ll be upset.
Chandler - I can’t believe you!
Joey - Well done bud! I didn’t think that you had it in you!
Ross - Well, you know how it is! We just kinda got desperate!
Chandler - You’re lucky that you didn’t get fired!
Joey - We’d all kinda figured out what you were up to when you didn’t go back to Monica’s
Chandler - But we tried calling your place and there was no answer. Now we know why!
Ross - We did it three times there!
Chandler - Oh my god!
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Rachel, Phoebe and Monica)
Monica - I think I’m gonna be sick!
Rachel - Why?
Monica - I’ve been to that display at the museum.
Rachel - Well, you could say I came to see that display too!
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
{The next morning}
(The girls are all asleep in the living room. Remains form last night litter the floor)
Chandler - Well, I guess they had fun last night!
Ross - Monica will go mad when she sees this mess!
(Phoebe wakes suddenly)
Phoebe - Oh! It’s morning!
Joey - Hi! Should we wake the others?
Ross - I’ll wake Rach up.
Rachel - Well, hello!
(Monica also wakes up)
Monica -
Chandler - In a word, ALCOHOL!
Phoebe - Oh yeah! I remember.
Ross - Well, that’s something.
Rachel - I haven’t felt this bad since that night I wanted to call your cat Michael.
Ross - The good news is that I don’t have to go to work today. We’ll have the whole day to move your stuff into our place. I phoned Carl this morning and explained.
Monica - Carl. That name seems familiar.
Phoebe - Rach, isn’t that the Carl…
Rachel -
Ross - What’s up with her?
Monica -
Chandler - Fine. We had a civilized dinner, followed by coffee at Ross’ apartment.
Phoebe - So you scared yourselves with how old you seemed?
Joey - Yes.
Ross - OK, so maybe we did, but at least we’re not gonna spend all morning running to the bathroom!
Rachel - OK. I’ll get changed, then we’d better start.
Scene - Guys’ Apartment
(All of the gang)
Rachel - I’m gonna go to our apartment and say goodbye to the balcony, the bedroom, the top drawer of the unit in the bathroom…
Joey - Yeah, but there’s none in there!
Monica - How do you know what we keep in there?
Joey - Well, Ross told us ages ago and sometimes, we run out!
Chandler - No, sometimes Joey needs them.
Monica - You’d better take good care of her, Ross.
Chandler - Yeah.
Ross - I know. But it’s not like we live far away. We’ll come here everyday. We’ll still empty all of Monica’s cupboards.
Monica - Don’t I know about it!
Phoebe - What are you gonna do about the empty room?
Monica - I’m gonna leave it for a while. After three years of having Rachel there, I’m gonna miss her.
Rachel - OK. We’re going before I start to cry.
Ross - Bye, guys!
All - Bye/We’re gonna miss you/Visit soon/Good luck.
Scene - Ross’ Apartment
(Ross and Rachel)
Rachel - I love you, Ross Geller!
Ross - I love you, too. I’m so happy.
Rachel - Me too. (She kisses him)
Ross - Which room shall we christen first?
Rachel - How about right here?
(The hug a bit closer)
Voice of Mrs. Geller - Honey? It’s Mom and Dad. Can you let us up?
" " Mr. Geller - Yes, come on. Has she moved in yet?
Ross -
Rachel - I’m just gonna go and freshen up. Before I do, who’s Bong?
Ross - Bong? I haven’t heard that for years, I can tell you. That was Chandler’s nickname back at Uni.
Rachel - Oh! I have gotta speak to your sister.
Ross - Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?
Mrs. Geller - Well, we thought that you might like some company.
Mr. Geller - We’re trying to be nice. We’ve had a chat with Monica last night. She said that Rachel didn’t want to marry you yet and that we should stop being so mean.
Ross - Did Monica sound a little strange last night?
Mrs. Geller - Well yes she did! Why?
Ross - No reason!
(She has tidied her hair and looks tidier in general than when she left Ross’ arms)
Rachel - Hi Mr. Geller. Hello, Mrs. Geller!
Mr. Geller - Hello, dear!
Ross -
Credits
Teaser
Scene - Girls’ Apartment
(Monica, Rachel and Ross)
Ross - So I just wanted to say thanks.
Rachel - I don’t know why either of you kept it from me.
Monica - We thought it would be best. By the way, last night, I didn’t say anything embarrassing, did I?
Rachel - No. I think it’s cute. You were made for each other!
Monica - Oh my God! Don’t tell anyone. I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was saying.
Rachel - Don’t worry, I won’t. If you make it worth my while.
Monica - What do you mean?
Rachel - Well, your Mom and Dad are gonna be coming over almost every week and I can’t cook.
Monica - You can say that again!
Rachel - You’re gonna prepare a dish every time for us that I can just bung in the oven so your parents think I cooked it, OK?
Monica - Would it make any difference if I said no?
Rachel - No.
Monica - OK. (They hug)