TOW All The Swimming

by: Sqira


Hey everyone! This is like my 6th fanfic and if nobody gives me feedback, I'll stop writing damnit! I mean it! Okay, okay, I will still write anyway... I'm such a liar :o) Please send me your feedback as feedback is the only payment that we fanfic writers ever get. As always, I'll have my fanfics up first at my homepage. Thanks to Docs, Tina and Eric for putting my fanfics up. If others would like to do so, just drop me a line. The characters do not belong to me except for Ray Gun. Suing would be pointless for a struggling student like me.


(Central Perk. Early Thursday evening. Only Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe is looking through the classifieds.)

Joey: So Pheebs, any luck in there?

Phoebe: No, unless you count 'sucking air for free' as something to do.

(Chandler enters.)

Chandler: Hey, non-working friends. How's the job hunt?

Phoebe: Slow. You're early today. Co-workers finally paid you to leave?

Chandler (miffed): No... I finished up my work early. At least, 'I' contribute to the country's economy. What have you guys been doing?!

Joey: We pretty much sit around being safe, avoid any increase in New York's crime rate AND, I color coded my underwear drawer (smiles).

Chandler: And I thought I'm 'missing' a lot while I'm at work.

(Opening credits)

(Central Perk. Early Thursday evening. Only Chandler, Phoebe and Joey are there. This is directly after the previous scene. Chandler is getting a drink.)

Phoebe (excited): Hey Joey, look at this! This ad calls for extras in its upcoming movie! (Reading from the paper) "Walk-in interviews will be held next Thursday at Neal's Studio". Wow, even the place sounds so... 'movie'!

Joey: Really?! (Takes the paper from Phoebe) We could do this! But Pheebs, can you act?

Phoebe: Of course I can! Who do you think I am? A 'washed-up' wannabe actor? (Joey looks sad) So, what do you think? I can act right?

Joey (realizes Phoebe's act): Oh! You're acting right? That's cool Pheebs. Save it for Thursday 'kay? So, what will we do till then?

Phoebe: Um... practice?

Joey: Yeah, that'll help I suppose (Phoebe rolls her eyes)

Chandler (sitting down with his drink): So, what's the movie about anyway?

Joey (reading the paper): Hmmm... no word of that. Who cares! At least I get to pay my rent this month!

Chandler: Yeah, not to mention the last 13 months... BUT hey, I'm not bitter!

Joey (smiles): Now you know why I stayed with you for long! (Leans towards Chandler to hug him)

Chandler (moves away): Hey, hey! We're men!

Phoebe: Oh! You guys look so cute together! (Both Joey and Chandler turn sharply towards Phoebe) No need to thank me, I 'know' this things (smiles).

Joey: Where's Monica and Rachel? They should be here by now. Monica promised me dinner.

Chandler: Yeah, she promised me dinner too.

Phoebe: So, what else is new? They told me they're gonna be late. They said they're checking out this new place.

Joey: Did Monica say anything about my dinner?

(Ross enters, disheveled from head to toe.)

Chandler: Wow, did I just miss Hurricane Bob?

Ross (yanks off his tie and sits on the couch): No... some jerk messed up the names for the plants in the Cretaceous period. I had to stay all afternoon just to put them all together. I can't wait to watch the security camera tape tomorrow. If I get my hands on that punk, I'll...

Joey: Whoa, hold it right there Rambo! (Snaps his fingers towards Gunther, in which Gunther returns with a cup of coffee) have some caffeine.

Ross (takes the cup): Thanks guys, you don't know the hell I'd gone thru'.

Chandler: 'Adventures of the Boring Museum Caretaker'. Coming to a theater near you.

Ross (stares at Chandler): Thanks for the shoulder to cry on, Chandler. By the way, have you seen my sister?

Phoebe: Is she 5'2", black hair, kinda skinny, great cook, anal retentive?

Ross: Yes

Phoebe: Nope! Haven't seen her.

Ross (looks at Phoebe): Try decaf next time, Pheebs. (Gets up to leave) Anyway, if you guys see her later, tell her I'm coming over tonight. I think I left one of my files at her apartment. I'm gonna go home and wash up a bit.

Chandler: Yeah, and try staying off the gel tonight. (Seeing Ross's stare) Just a suggestion, it's your hair anyway.

(Commercial Break 1)

(Central Perk. Thursday evening. Only Chandler, Phoebe and Joey are there. Ross had left.)

(Rachel and Monica enter)

Rachel: Hey! Is there a cookie anywhere? I'm so hungry...

(Gunther appears with a cake in his hands.)

Gunther: Will this do... my lo... (stops himself) It's your favorite, Triple Layer Chocolate Delight. It's on the house...

Rachel (takes the cake): Really? Thanks Gunther (pats Gunther's head when Gunther held out his hands for a hug). Here, Joey, hold it for me.

Gunther (touches his head): And that will last me till next month... (Leaves)

Joey: You should do this more often, getting us free food and all that.

Chandler: Yeah, Rach... maybe we'll get a free lunch next time.

Rachel: In your dreams... I don't take advantage of people. Right, Mon?

Monica: Uhh... I think I'll take a seat. (Both Monica and Rachel sit on the couch)

Phoebe: Why are your hair wet? Is it a new look?

Monica: No, we just came back from the Y. We don't have time to dry our hair.

Joey: Huh?! Did I miss a mass shower?

Monica (smacks Joey head): No! Is that all you think about?!

Phoebe: You forgot the models in the next 'Sports Illustrated'.

Monica: We went swimming.

Chandler: Why? New York's tap water is not good enough for you that you need chlorine for a thorough bath?

Monica (points a finger towards Chandler): Don't make me come over there!

Rachel: Chandler! Swimming is good for the body, it helps us stay in shape... (smiles gleefully) Not to mention the nearly naked guys around.

Joey: Hey, dun talk about guys bodies around here! It's... eeiiww!

Monica: C'mon, we're nowhere 'near' your graphic description of Miss Playboy of the Year!

Chandler: We're missing the point here! (Looks at Rachel and Monica) You guys went swimming! Without us? How could you?!

Monica: We're sorry for not telling you, 'Your Royal Highness'. Do you want our plans for tomorrow?

Chandler: Oohh, I'm hurt Mon. I thought you like my jokes?

Rachel (looks at her watch): Oh! I'm late! I gotta go. Coming up Mon?

Monica (eating a piece of the cake): Um, I'll come up later. Isn't Ray picking you up?

Rachel: No, he's meeting me at the restaurant. Which one is better, the 'blue' or the 'red' one?

Phoebe: Red is good. It matches the red bump that you have your nose.

Rachel: What red bump?! (Began touching her face)

Phoebe: Kidding! Wow, my acting is getting real good!

Rachel (puzzled): Okay, meet you guys later! Bye! (Leaves the cafe)

Chandler: So, swimming huh? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

(Commercial Break 2)

(Monica's & Rachel's Apartment. Thursday evening. No one is in the apartment.)

(Ross enters)

Ross: Mon? You around? (Closes the door)

Rachel (off-camera): Mon! You're back! I decided to go with the blue dress in the end; Ray had seen me in the red one. Aaahh... I always can't reach the zipper! Can you help? Just zip up the damn thing. (Rachel walks out of her room, with her back to Ross. She stops halfway.) C'mon, make it quick! I have a date waiting for me!

(Ross, unsure of what to do, steps towards Rachel and zip up her dress. Being Ross, you know how he will act :o)

Rachel: Thanks Mon, how about my hair? (Rachel turns slowly and realizes that it was Ross whom she have been talking all along) Whoa! When did you get in?!

Ross: Uh... a few minutes ago. I'm looking for Monica actually. Um... you have a date?

Rachel: Well, you know, going out, having dinner, dance a little. Dear Gawd! People still do that, Ross!

Ross: Thanks for showing me the 'ways' Rach. I've been out of the loop so long that I'm afraid that I don't even like women!

Rachel (laughs but stops when she realizes that Ross is serious): Oh! You're not kidding... well, you could start by... uh, walking up to the lady you fancy?

Ross: Oh ok, like I need dating advices from you! I was once married and going-to-be married!

Rachel: All the more that you need help Ross. Besides, your 'ways' don't seemed to work judging from the results!

Ross (realizes that Rachel is right): Okay, you have a point there, but it does not mean that I'll take it!

Rachel: Ah, believe what you want. I'm late already. See you later Ross. Think about it okay? (Goes to the door) Perhaps some changes would do you good. (Leaves)

Ross (sits on the couch): Aw... shucks.

(Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe enter the apartment.)

Joey: Hey Ross! You're here.

Phoebe: We met Rachel on the way up. She said you were moping, (looks at Ross) you're 'still' moping!

Monica (looks at Ross and feeling kinda pissed): So, what do you want? The file? Oh, I'll get it... Why don't you just stay for dinner? Monica do this, Monica do that... (Goes into her room grumbling)

Ross: What's with her?

Chandler: She forgot about dinner, her hair reeked of chlorine, her laundry's not done, and now that you're here, she's gotta do dinner for 5 instead of 4. Other than that, she's 'fine'. Oh... did I mention PMS?

Monica (off-camera, shouting): I'm not having it now!!!

Chandler (motions to Joey): Joey...

Joy (takes a notebook and 'deletes' something in the book): Okay, strike out Thursday...

(Closing credits)

(Monica's & Rachel's Apartment. Late Thursday evening. Everyone except Rachel are sitting around the couches. Joey is staring at Monica and Monica is staring back at him.)

Monica (shuts her eyes suddenly): Fine! You win! You can follow us swimming next time!

Joey: Yeah, baby!

Monica: With conditions! No Speedos, no 'going up' to me and Rachel in AND out of the pool, bring your own shampoo and towel and do not, I repeat DO NOT do your imitation of Peter Pan on the diving deck!

Joey: You mean, I can't get in the ladies shower?

Monica (looks at the rest): May I?

The rest: Be our guest! (Upon hearing that, Monica smacks Joey head AGAIN!)

Phoebe (looking at Ross and Chandler): So, what about you guys? Not going swimming?

Ross: Been there, done that. Got the T-shirt.

Chandler: I have my modesty to think about!

Phoebe (smiles): Oh! You have one?!



So?! What do you think? Leave your comments! Thanks for reading!