Introduction: First, I would like to thank all the people which have emailed me with positive feedback concerning the last episode that I've written - episode three. But remember, I would like to have any kind of feedback, even hursh - hey if there's something you don't like I'd like to know about it! so, drop me a line Here.
As I've mentioned this, I have recieved a lot of positive feedback, concerning the third episode, so I'll try to keep the other episodes at the same level....Cheers :)
[Scene: Central perk. Phoebe and Joey are at the couch talking.]
Phoebe: This is so weird...not being pregnant you know. After nine monthes of doing (points at her belly) this...
Joey: Well, Phoeebs, if it helps you any better, at least you could get pregnant again! I can't! believe me, Chandler told me so.
Phoebe: (has a brainstorm..yeah that could happen to Phoebe :)) Joey, I got it!
Joey: Oh...brag on...
Phoebe: I need to get pregnant!
Joey: Oh so you know my number right? (Phoebe glares at him)(Joey gets serious) Phoebe, you can't become a mother so soon, you're not ready! give it time, you'll get over it.
Phoebe: Yeah, but I wanna be pregnant! (gets sad) well I guess you're right...I'm not ready to become a mother..
Joey: Aww, Phoeebs (hugs her).
Phoebe: (After breaking from the hug, gets excited) Joey I got it!
Joey: Not again! I wanna get it next time!
Phoebe: I'm not ready to be a parent, but I am ready to be pregnant again! get it?
Joey: (puzzeled look) Huh?
Phoebe: I can be a surrogate mother for other people! Yeah, I can post an ad on a newspaper or something, and I can have a flyer and hang it around here..."Willing to be a surrogate mother"! and I'll even get paid to do this! this is so great!
Joey: So, let me get this straight...you're gonna go up to people, asking them to grow their potential baby in your uterus?
Phoebe: Well...Yeah.
Joey: Phoeebs, I want a baby..(she smiles) Can I get the personal treatment? (He winks at her, she walks away disguested)
-Opening Credits-
[Scene: Monica and Rachel appartment.It's very very late in the night/ very very early in the morning...the scene, which takes place at the girls living room,is similiar to the famous opening scene of "TOW the embroys". we see Chandler sneeking out of Monica room,and Monica after him]
Monica: (whispers) Shh,be careful not to wake up Rachel!
Chandler: (sits on the sofa, puts his shoes on) Well, I'm sorry I don't come with a MUTE button.
Monica: (sits next to him) Chandler, I really enjoy doing.....this with you, but I've gotta say that this whole sneaking up part, that was so far fun, is getting kinda...I don't know...
Chandler: Oblivious?
Monica: I was going to say exhausting. Don't you hate it sneaking up like that, worrying that Joey/Rachel or the worse case my brother will find out about us? I hate it when we have to sneak up, not being able to have a normal relationship
Chandler: honey, that's the thing, we don't have a normal relationship. maybe that's because we're not normal people! (smiles) Really, I know this routine is getting kinda tiresome, but if you think about it from another angle, it's kinda fun!
Monica: Aww
(Starts to kiss him.)
Monica: (realizing, breaks away from the kiss, angry) I'm not normal?
Chandler: Oh the curse of the large mouth...Mon, you know what I mean.
Monica: Yes I do. You're saying I'm a loony.
Chandler: Monica, it's four o'clock in the morning, do we have to run this argument now? We're gonna wake up Rachel.
Monica: Okay, I guess you're right. I am kinda....para normal.
Chandler: I'm not saying that you're a freak or anything, I just said that you weren't normal Monica, you dedicated a week and a half to sterlize the appartment after me and Joey moved out.
Monica: (smiles) Two weeks.
(They start to kiss yet again...)
Monica: (hearing something) Did you just hear something?
Chandler: Nope, zitto, nada, big O (continues to kiss her)
Monica: (jump apart) I heard something!
(Suddenly, Rachel comes out of her bedroom, looks like the beginning of TOW the embryos).
Rachel: What the..? (notices Chandler) Chandler? What are you doing here at Four A.M.? Monica what are you doing up?
Chandler: Well, um,Monica....ladies first, that's my Motto...Not my dad's though....
Monica: Well..you see, me and Chandler...got back from the peers!
Rachel: You went to the peers untill Four o'clock in the morning?
Chandler: Why yes...y'know the fun is usually around three AM...anyway, I gotta go...good morning ladies
(Chandler leaves)
(Rachel goes to the refrigerator to take a soda)
Monica: Rach? aren't you gonna go to bed? I'm suprised you were woken up at the first place...is something wrong?
Rachel: Mon...
(Suddenly they hear something...it's a small bark. Rachel's eyes widen)
Monica: What was that?
Rachel: That was....ME! Yeah, the reason that I couldnt sleep is because...I'm hungry! yeah it's my stomach!
Monica: Your stomache barks?
Rachel: Well...(They hear it again)
Monica: It's coming from your room..(heads to Rachel's room)
Rachel: (gets in front of her, blocks her way) No! No, you can't...!
Monica: Why not? you've got something to hide?
Rachel: Um...(chackels uneasily) Um....funny you should mention it...
Monica: Well...?
Rachel: Mon...remember I bought my nephew that toy that worked only at dark? well that's...a puppet dog...(realized it adds) YES! It starts to work at dark, so it barks!
Monica: So how come it doesn't bark every night, and you already got it for over a week?
Rachel: It's....sobjective....
(Monica gives her a "whatever" look and goes to her room)
[Scene: Central perk.Phoebe, Chandler and Emily are present. Phoebe is at the chair and Emily and Chandler are at the couch]
(Rachel enters, looking exhuasted)
Rachel: (spots Gunther, sleepy) Gunther?
Gunther: (runs excitedly to her, perky) Yes?
Rachel: (still sleepy) Can I get a cup of coffee?
Gunther: (gets upset) Sure (walks off).
Rachel: (approaches the gang) Hey guys..
Emily: Hi Rachel
Rachel: (for the first time spots Emily, suprised...not in a good way) Hey...(sits at the table)
Emily: Well, I must run off...I'm meeting Ross at the muesum..catch you all later.. (Various good byes)
Phoebe: Hey, why did you order coffee? I thought you stopped drinking coffee...
Rachel: Yeah, but I woke up today at 4:00 AM.
(Chandler starts to feel un comftorable)
Phoebe: What do you mean? Was there a huricane my phsycic powers weren't aware of?
Rachel: No, but Chandler and Monica woke me up
Phoebe: (to Chandler) What were you guys doing at four AM?
Chandler: Well..(un comftorable),(changes subject) Hey Phoebe, how are life without a filled up uterus?
Phoebe: It's...upseting. oh how sweet of Joey, he let me tell you all the details about my new plan!
Rachel: What new plan honey?
Phoebe: I'm gonna offer my uterus for people for storage for their baby! I'm gonna be a surrogate mother again!
Chandler: Okay, this sounds like something I really don't wanna get into....later
(Chandler exits)
Rachel: Honey, what are you talking about? Remember how hard it was for you to say good bye to the triplets!
Phoebe: Yeah, but..I don't know, I really enjoyed doing that! Being responsible for someone in my belly even if it's not biological mine!
Rachel: Okay, Phoeebs, you know how upset I am with Ross and everything right?
Phoebe: I am looney, I don't have amnesia.
Rachel: Well, I go to a shrink....and it really helps! so here's his card (takes her walet out of her bag, takes out a card) go to him! he's really great!
Phoebe: Rach I dont know...
Rachel: Just, go okay?
Phoebe: Fine, but could you, you know just in case hand out some of my flyers at work?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's appartment. Joey is there at the counter, reading a newspaper, Emily and Ross enter].
Ross: Hey Joey
Emily: Hi!
Joey: Hey guys!(upset)You know how hard it is to find a decent job? I just looked through 18 ads, and nadda!
Ross: Well, what kind of job are you intrested in?
Joey: Acting, duh! you need to start to pay more attention to what I do! but, I found here an ad that might be good!
(Takes out a piece of paper, hands it to Emily)
Emily: (reading) A C engineer?
Joey: Yeah, can you believe it? I think that they'll really be impressed when they'll here i even know D and E!
(Emily and Ross stare at each other)
Ross: Joey, do you know what a C language engineer means?
Emily: That doesn't matter right now Ross...So, other then that you didn't find any other possible positions you would be interested in?
Joey: Well, there was one..
(hands Emily another ad)
Emily: A happy days resturant waiter?
Joey: Yeah, I did some waitering at Monica's resturant, and I think I'm kinda good at that! And it's a HAPPY days resturant, and hey - I'm HAPPY!
(Joey does his little "dance")
Ross: (cuts him off) let's just go there..
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's appartment. Chandler enters his empty appartment. he closes the door behind him and goes to his room]
Chandler: (happy) All the place to myself...I should call Mo..
(Sees a suitcase on his bed, and his closet room open, with half of the clothes out.)
Chandler: Am I going somewhere? (understands what he says doesn't make any sense) I guess my theory about Joey was right...after spending time with him your IQ goes to different levels..
(Monica enters the apparment. Chandler walks out of his room to the living room)
Monica: (happy) Hey!
Chandler: Do you have any idea what's going on here? (leads her to his room) will you look at this?
(In Chandler's room)
Monica: Yeah, I did it!
Chandler: You...You packed my stuff?
Monica: Well..yeah. remember last night, when we talked about having no privacy what so ever? well, I booked as a flight to Chicago!
Chandler: Chicago? You are aware you won't find George Cloony there? or DR. Richard Campbell
Monica: Well, we don't have exactly enough money to pass around, and we need this vacation..and privacy. Now, Everybody knows that you are going to a buisness trip and I'm going to visit my Uncle. The only who knows is Emily ofcourse, which will cover for us. come on, the flight leaves in Two hours!
Chandler: You don't leave anything to the imagination now do you?
[Scene: The shrink's patient room. Rachel and Phoebe are there. Rachel's reading some magazines]
(A nurse comes over)
Nurse: Ms. Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Nurse: Your turn will come shortly..thank you for waiting!(leaves)
Phoebe: God, she sounds like a telephone waiting message.
(A small pause)
Phoebe: I'm not sure that this is such a good idea...you know, I don't believe in shrinks...remember the shrink guy I dated? since then I don't like them...plus, I believe that soul heals itself...if it's good.
Rachel: Honey, David is not like that...He's very good! relax, and if you feel that this is not gonna help then just...quit!
Phoebe: (excited) Oh, and then I can have my surrogate mommy plan!
Nurse: Miss Buffay? You may enter!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Wish me luck
Rachel: Good luck!
(Phoebe follows the nurse into the room)
[Scene: Central perk. Ross and Emily are there.]
Emily: Wow, that interview is taking quite a long time don't you think? I'm glad we decided not to stay..
Ross: Maybe the interview is over and he went to sleep with the interviewer. she was one fox..(cut off by a glare by Emily) Okay.
Emily: Why do you think that Joey sleeps with every woman he sees?
Ross: Well, I don't think he sleeps with every woman he sees. He didn't sleep with the four of you.
(Joey enters excited)
Joey: Hey guys! guess what?
Emily: You got the job?
Joey: No, but I got an even better job! I found a better job as a bartender at the bar across the road!
Ross: A bar? Joey that's....that's great! I heard that this job is very profitable!
Joey: And you can pick up chicks.
Emily: So, you just walked in and they hired you? without any training?
Joey: Hey, I served at a bar back home! yeah, for four monthes, untill I moved here!
Emily: Really? I didn't know that! congratulations Joey! So, what took you so long?
Joey: Oh, I slept with the interviewer lady
(Ross smiles at Emily with a "told you so" glare. Emily frowns)
[Scene: Interiors of the doctor's room. Phoebe is there on the couch waiting impatiantly, the doctor is not in there. the nurse comes in.]
Nurse: I'm terribly sorry about the delay Ms. Buffay...the doctor will be with you in a minute.
Phoebe: (angrily) Well you'll tell him to get his sorry analyzing ass down here, and brainwash my head right now, or I'll kick his ass all the way to..(Is cut of by the doctor that runs into the room hearing what Phoebe said. He's played by Brad Pitt, and his name here is Dr. Mark Harrison(MARK).)
Mark: That won't be necessary Ms. Buffay. I look a lot worse in a traction. (To the nurse) Thank you Shelly you're free to go.
Phoebe: (Smitten with him, tries to hide it) Where were you? out making extra bucks as a bell boy?
Mark: (Chuckels) No, I had another patient on the verge of commiting suicide.
Phoebe: You do understand that that doesn't make you sound too hot.
Mark: (Laughes) Yes I do. you're a funny woman Ms. Buffay. So Ms. Green tells me that you are suffering a depression after you gave away the babies...
Phoebe: (angry, just like she did on "TOW the free porn) I'm telling it, I'm telling it!
[Scene: Time lapse. Waiting room. Rachel's there reading a magazine. Dr. Harrison and Phoebe comes out of the room. Rachel notices and puts her news paper down.]
Mark: Hello Rachel.
Rachel: (like a highschool girl, smitten) Hello Mark.
Mark: Phoebe, I hope our meeting helped you today. I'm looking forward to see you next week. you too Rachel.
Rachel: (giggels) Okay...
Mark: Ladies, have a nice day (goes back to his office)
Rachel: Oh god, he is SO cute!
Phoebe: Well, I haven't noticed.
Rachel: Phoebe, look at him!
Phoebe: Well, after you take away that high cheek bones, blond hair, green soft eyes, perfect face tunes and body...(beat, giving in) I would say a gorgeous man.
[Scene: The airport we've seen on "TOW the free porn" and "TOW all the rugby". Monica and Chandler are there at the desk. it looks like they've been arguing with the counter lady (LADY) for hours...]
Monica: What do you mean we're stuck here? why can't we go to Chicago?
LADY: Ms., for the sixty seventh time, there are heavy snow storms in our area. what did you expect around christmass time?
Chandler: Look, can't you just...fly from another lane?
Monica: (to Chandler) You have been spending time with Joey way too much.
Monica: (to the Lady) okay, if we can't go to Chicago, then give us our money back. come on Chandler, let's go home.
LADY: Well, I can give you your money back, but I'm not sure you'll be able to get home. with those storms out there, all the texi stations are not working, and I'm not sure that anyone can go out driving this wheahter. I suggest you'll stay here untill the storm passes.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Well, golly thanx a bunch!
(Chandler and Monica walk away from the counter, beat, and sit on some chairs there)
Monica: This sucks! I really wanted some time off with you!
Chandler: Me too. and we're stuck in this airport, like in that movie.
Monica: Which movie?
Chandler: The one where Micheal J. Fox..(cut off by Monica)
Monica: You know what I think of Micheal J. Fox...that's why I don't see any of his movies.
Chandler: ...or shows.
(pause)
Monica: Chandler, what are we going to do now?
Chandler: Well, I know what I really wanna do with you now...but we can get arrested if we do it in public.
Monica: Yeah, me too...let's find somewhere quiet...
Chandler: How about the V.I.P room?
Monica: They wouldn't let us in...let's see now (looks around. suddenly see something (we obviously can't see 'cause we're looking at her). her eyes perk up).
Monica: Come on...I know just the place...
[Scene: Central perk. Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross and Emily are there. Phoebe, Rachel and Joey are sitting on the couch in that order from left to right. Ross is on the chair, and Emily's sitting on his lap.]
Joey: So Phoeebs, did the doctor helped at all?
Phoebe: No not really...just because he is mildly attractive does not make him a good doctor!
Ross: (intiminated)OOOoookay...
Joey: (changing the subject) Well, I got a job!
Rachel: Really? Joey, that's great! at that happy days place?
Joey: Well almost, but no. I got a job as a bar tender at the bar down the road from there...
Phoebe: That's great!
Rachel: Yeah, Joey congragulations!
Phoebe: So, what about you guys? Did anything special happened to you today?
Ross: Well, actually, we found an old bone, that we believe (is cut off by Phoebe)
Phoebe: No? too bad..how was your day Emily?
Emily: Pretty much boring. And my parents are coming next week.
Phoebe: I think your step mom will like to see me. we have a bonding relationship.
Rachel: Um, guys, now that I remember - where are Monica and Chandler?
[Scene: Quickly cut to the door of a maiding room close (you know, where they keep the brooms etc.). Monica comes out with hair out of place, wrinkled clothes. Chandler comes out the same situation as well.]
Chandler: Well, I gotta hand it to you..you're quite original.
Monica: Yeah, but even though I like cleaning - the smell of scoth doesn't really get me in the mood...
(They smile, and walk away, with Chandler's arm around Monica's shoulder.)
-Closing Credits-
[A bar. Joey is there in a bar tender's outfit. he's serving people. on the background the music from the movie Tequila (featuring the one and only Tom Cruise, if you know what I mean :)). Joey's serving a lot of customers which are gathered around to see his stunts: he keeps throwing the tequila up in the air, and after one round catches it. on the fourth time he does it, the bottle falls on the floor and a terrible broken glass sound is heard. A man with a suit, walks from the back office].
Joey: (looking for an excuse)...Um...you need to lock the door. You've got big dogs running around here. and I mean BIG.
(The man at the suit looks at him, beat).
THE END.