TOW A RAY GUN  

by: Sqira


Hi guys! Thanks for reading my fanfics so far. This is my 4th episode of my 'Alternate Season 5' series. I have yet to receive any feedback or comments about it so, please send yours to me :o) I wanna know if what I'm doing is okay so far. Usually, I will post my next fanfic episode first in my homepage. Don't worry, it'll end up 'here' too :o) Thanks to Eric, Tina and Docs for putting my fanfics up in their pages :o)


(Central Perk. Early Evening. Everyone but Rachel & Ross are there.)

Rachel (bursts in): You know what happened to me at 2 p.m. today?

Chandler: You work?

Rachel (peeved): THAT... c'mon guess. This is not as fun as I thought it would be.

Joey: You actually found out where the store kept all its money?

Phoebe: That's so easy... the cash registers of course!

Monica: You guys and I know that those aren't true! Just tell us, my caffeine's running low.

Rachel: I got promoted!!! You're seeing one of the main buyers for the ladies department! And that's not the best part! Guess what happened at 3 p.m.?!

Joey: You actually bought something?

Rachel: Yeah!!! And the guy's name is Ray! He's so handsome, dark and tall... and handsome, dark and tall... You know... (sits down on the arm on the couch)

Chandler: Just checking, we're not talking about a blouse right?

(Opening credits)

(Central Perk. Early Evening. Everyone but Ross is there.)

Monica: So, congrats! (Hugs Rachel) And who's the lucky guy?

Rachel (bursting with 'vitamins' and 'goodness'): Well, I was you know, going down and introducing myself to the salespeople in the department... a little handshake here, a little kiss there, and somehow, this guy came up and said 'congratulations' out of nowhere! It seems that he overhead my conversations with the salespeople... (seeing the looks on others)Hey, I'm happy! I have the license
to be loud!

Phoebe: Wow, are you sure he's not like a psycho or worse, a security guard who works there?

Joey: Yeah, and he might be this guy who really like to wear high heel which does not belong to him and like, those heels are really high especially if you try walking from the closet to the mirror without making that awful noise on your parents wooden floor so... (seeing that the rest of the guys are staring at him) That could happen!

Rachel (looking at Joey): No and (looking at Phoebe) No! You think I wouldn't ask that? Anyway, we had tea together and we talked and it turns out that he's a broker at Wall Street and he was buying something for his sister.

Chandler: Yeah right! I used that line numerous times and I still have dresses which I never use!
(Upon seeing the smiles from the rest) What makes you think that I'm gonna tell you how many dates I got from that?!!

Monica: I mean Rach, is he for real?

Rachel: Well, he sounds legit to me (looks at her watch) and I'm gonna be late. I have a date tonight!

Joey: Wow, who's the guy?

Rachel: You think? I gotta go. By the way, where's Ross?

Phoebe: He's taking care of Ben tonight. It seems that Carol and Susan want to free themselves from unnecessary misery, discontent and resentment.

Rachel: Oh? I didn't know that they're having problems.

Monica: It's not them, it's Ross that they are freeing from. He got talkative.

Chandler: I guess he can't pay the 1900-I-SUCK charges anymore.

Rachel: Why didn't he just go to you guys?

Joey: We ran out of cotton balls.

(Commercial Break 1)

(Maxim's Restaurant. Rachel & Ray. They are having dessert. Ray is played by Brad Pitt [he IS appearing on 'Friends' sooner or later right? What is this thing with Jennifer Aniston's boyfriends and 'Friends'?])

Rachel (impressed): Oh Ray, I didn't know you could do that!

Ray: Well, with 4 pints of beer and and an empty alley at 3 in the morning, 'anyone' could pee that far!

Rachel: I mean, you really do things for the moment and not thinking twice about them!

Ray: No, no, don't let my wild stunts impress you... (puts Rachel's hand on his right chest) just let my heart do the talking...

Rachel: Well, I dunno about you, but I think it's saying 'the heart's on the left'...

Ray (unmoved): Yes, but for you, my heart would rather be in yours...

Rachel (blushing like steamed lobsters): Oh... you don't have to do that... you, you Ray Gun... are you sure that's your last name by the way?

Ray: Well, do you want it any other way? I kinda like it. It gives me strength that only a Magnum .2 can... I mean...

Rachel (withdrawing her hand): I mean, it's unique and you're a unique person (seeing how empty the restaurant is) Wow, we really close the restaurant down. I think we better go...

Ray: Yeah, mind if I send you home?

Rachel: Oh, that's so sweet...

Ray: Well, kinda... if you wanna give the impression that you 'score' on the first date... (seeing Rachel's shocked expression) ...not that we're gonna do that today.

(Hallway between the 2 apartments. Midnight. Rachel & Ray kissing.)

Rachel (breaks from the kiss): I had a really great time...

Ray: You're welcome, and you're a great date by the way. You don't wanna invite me in?

Rachel (blushes): Thanks, no, I think it'll be better next time. There WILL be a next time, you know.

Ray: Wow, I really like that (kisses Rachel again). I'll call you tomorrow?

Rachel: You do that and there'll be more 'next times'... and I might add a 'bed & breakfast' too (smiles)

Ray: Don't I feel like a kid who just got his toy back?! Okay, I'll see you. (Hugs and kisses Rachel) Bye!

Rachel (waving and smiling away): Yeah, bye! (Enters her apartment)

(Monica's & Rachel's Apartment.)

Rachel (enters the apartment and sees Monica sleeping on the couch with her work clothes still on): Mon? Mon! Honey, wake up... Why are you sleeping here?

Monica (sleepily): No, you just came back? How's the date?

Rachel (smiles): It's very nice... enough about me. You have an affair with the couch now?

Monica (gets defensive): No I'm NOT! You know I don't have affairs!

Rachel: Hey, it's midnight and I'm just joking with ya... Why are you sleeping here?

Monica: I'm stuck with the day AND the night shifts for this whole week! My assistant has gone off to Hawaii to get himself a tan! In the middle of November!

Rachel: Hawaii doesn't snow Mon... (upon seeing Monica's "no-duh!" look) ok, that doesn't help.

Monica: I know, I just have to work extra hard that's all. Oh, and I can't cook dinner for you guys this week. Tell the rest 'kay?

Rachel: Okay, c'mon let's go to bed. It's weird talking in the dark like this. (Gets up with Monica and move toward their rooms)

Monica: Hey Rach, I'm proud of you. At least, you moved on.

Rachel: Yeah, I guess I did. Nite Mon!

Monica: Nite!

(Commercial Break 2)

(Monica's & Rachel's Apartment. A week later. Early evening. Everyone but Monica, Chandler & Rachel, is in the kitchen.)

Ross: Are you sure the salt goes in after the chicken? Shouldn't the soup has taste first?

Joey (reading a recipe book): Really! That's what it says here. It's Martha Stewart man! She can never go wrong!

Phoebe: Can you guys hurry up? I just can't stand seeing that chicken suffer. Do you know, that it used to run free... free like the wind...

Ross: You know Pheebs, you could really help us a lot if you stop staring at it. You know, you could help set the table and stuff...

Joey: I sure hope this is the last day that Monica had to work late. I can't stand the grumbling in my stomach anymore. It's clear that Chinese and Italian don't mix... I need real America food man!

Phoebe: Rach! Aren't you like helping us?! I could use another hand here.

Rachel (off-camera): You know I can't! I have a date! And besides, I ordered pizza the last 2 times!

Ross (puzzled): Where? With whom? Since when?

Phoebe: I dunno, Ray and last week. Next question.

Ross (peeved): Who's this guy?
 
Joey: Oh, he's this guy that Rachel's seeing and we might see him tonight if we're lucky. He's picking Rachel up.

Ross: She's not wasting time isn't she?

Phoebe: C'mon Ross, give her a break! Just because you don't take the 'Kit Kat' ("Have a break, have a Kit Kat"), she has to also! (Looking at the table) Ok, I'm all done. What about you guys?

Joey: Yeah, we're done too. (Fingering the food with Ross) What do you think?

Ross: Not bad, I might say. ('Hi-fives' Joey) Now, if only we could start eating...

Chandler (bursts in through the door): Hey guys, look what I dragged home?! (holds Monica's hand in his)

Monica: You do not need to pull me all the way home! I know my way thank-you-very-much!

Ross (looks at them holding hands): What took you so long?!

Chandler (lets go of Monica's hand after Ross stared at it): Well, somebody doesn't want to leave saying that she's needed and all that! But when I asked everyone in the kitchen on whether she's needed, they started throwing money at me! (Pulling out bills from his pocket) I should do this more often! Monica just made me 50 bucks richer!

Monica (waving Chandler off): Yeah, yeah! (Upon seeing the food and the table) Wow, you guys did all this? It's looks... decent!

Phoebe: Hey, we tried...

Joey: Yeah, we kinda missed your cooking, not to mention the free food so, to thank you... and our stomachs, we decided to cook! Come on, let's eat!

(The doorbell rang. Monica goes to get it.)

Monica: Hello... You must be Ray... Come in, Rachel will be with you in a minute. Rach! Your date's here!

Ray (comes in): Yeah, thanks. So, this is like 'meet-the-friends-of-your-date' huh?

Chandler: Well, that's another word for cross-examination but that'll do. I'm Chandler and you know Monica.

Ray (shakes hands with everyone): What let me guess... (looking at Phoebe) Phoebe, (looks at Joey) Joey... (looks at Ross) and finally Ross... nice meeting you guys.

Phoebe: Yeah, us too. You look good... I mean, not in the 'I-wanna-eat-you' kinda way... so where are you guys going?

Ray: Maybe a movie then something else for dessert.

Joey: Ah, you're my man! Dinners are for wimps! You cut to the chase!

Ross (looks at Joey): Don't give him ideas 'kay!

Ray: Um no, I found this great ice-cream place and I wanna bring her there.

Joey (goes to Ray and whispers): It's ok, I know what you mean (chuckles).

Rachel (comes out of her room): Sorry to keep you waiting. (Looking at the rest of the guys) Well, have you seen enough of him already? He's my date you know, not yours. (Takes Ray's hand) Ok, we're gonna go now. Don't wait up.

Joey (giving Ray the 'thumbs up'): See, what I told ya!

Ray (smiles): It's great meeting you guys... finally. See you guys...

The rest of the gang: Bye. Take care.

(Rachel & Ray goes out to the hallway)
 
(Hallway. Rachel & Ray)

Ray: That went well. You think I passed?

(Closing credits)

(Monica's & Rachel's Apartment. Monica is washing the dishes while Chandler is drinking beer by the counter.)

Monica: That dinner was great actually. Who knows that you guys can cook too?

Chandler: Well, don't get your hopes high. I think Ross, Joey and Phoebe are hanging up their aprons' strings now that you are back.

Monica: Oh? You guys missed me or the free food?

Chandler: Well, that and the fact that you do the dishes too. (Monica throws the sponge at him) Hey! Do I look like a target to you?

Monica: Anyway, thanks for fetching me home early today. That's nice of you.

Chandler (pats his pocket): No, thank you! By the way, to make everything clear, I hope you don't mind me holding your hand on the way home and all that. It's not because it's cold or anything, it's just that I want to. You seemed pretty quiet on the way back and I thought you're angry at me or something.

Monica: No, it's okay.. I mean, I like holding your hand too... not that we're seeing each other or anything... or that it's gonna happen again... (gives up) Do you think Ross might think of it as anything else? Or... you know...

Chandler: Ross? Nah, he's too caught up with Ray's appearance to pay any attention to us. I bet he's gonna talk about Ray for at least a month now... a week if we're lucky.

Monica (taps Chandler on his shoulder): I'm going to bed. It's been a long day.

Chandler (goes to the door): Sweet dreams, I know I will (smiles).
Monica (smiles): Thanks... you know.

Chandler (smiles again!): Anytime. (Exits)


Leave your comments! Thanks for reading!